Ngaba Ukulila Emva Kwesondo Kuqhelekile?

Umxholo

• Kuqheleke kangakanani ukulila emva kwesondo?
• Kodwa ngoba abantu bayakhala emva kwesondo?
• Uphengululo lwe

Kulungile, isondo siyamangalisa (hello, ingqondo, umzimba, kunye neenzuzo zokunyusa ibhondi!). Kodwa ukubethwa yi-blues-endaweni yovuyo-emva kweseshoni yakho yokulala akunanto.

Ngelixa ezinye iiseshini zesondo zinokuba zihle kakhulu zikwenza ukhale (ukukhawuleza kwe-oxytocin ekhukula ingqondo yakho emva kwe-orgasm yaziwa ngokubangela iinyembezi ezonwabileyo), kukho esinye isizathu sokulila emva kwesondo:i-postcoital dysphoria (PCD), okanye uvakalelo loxinzelelo, ukudakumba, ukulila, kunye nokuba ndlongondlongo (hayi uhlobo olifunayo ebhedini) abanye abantu basetyhini abafumana kanye emva kwesondo. Ngamanye amaxesha i-PCD ibizwa ngokuba yi-postcoitaltristse(IsiFrentshilusizi), NgokukaMbutho waMazwe ngaMazwe oNyango lwezeSondo (ISSM).

Kuqheleke kangakanani ukulila emva kwesondo?

Ngokophando lwabafazi bekholeji abangama-230 abapapashwe kwi Iyeza lezesondo, Iipesenti ezingama-46 ziye zafumana le meko yokudandatheka. Isihlanu ekhulwini sabantu kuphononongo baye bahlangabezana nalo amaxesha ambalwa kwinyanga ephelileyo.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuba, abafana bakhala emva kwesondo kwakhona: Uphononongo lwe-2018 malunga namadoda angama-1,200 lufumene ukuba izinga elifanayo lamadoda lifumana i-PCD kwaye likhala emva kwesondo ngokunjalo. Amashumi amane ananye eepesenti axele ukuba afumana i-PCD ebomini babo kwaye iipesenti ezingama-20 zichaze ukuba bayazifumana kwinyanga ephelileyo. (Inxulumene: Ngaba kubi kwiMpilo yakho Ukuzama Ukungakhali?)

Kodwa ngoba abantu bayakhala emva kwesondo?

Ungakhathazeki, ukukhala kwe-postcoital akusoloko kunento eninzi yokwenza ngamandla obudlelwane bakho, inqanaba lobudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho, okanye indlela entle ngayo isondo. (Idibeneyo: Ungalufumana njani ulonwabo ngakumbi kuso nasiphi na isikhundla soSondo)

"Ingcinga yethu inxulumene nokuziva ubuqu kunye nenyaniso yokuba ukusondelana ngokwesondo kunokubandakanya ukuphulukana nesiqu sakho," utshilo uRobert Schweitzer, Ph.D., kunye nombhali okhokelayo wencwadi. Iyeza lezesondo funda. Kuba isondo yintsimi egcwele iimvakalelo, nokuba ujonga njani kubomi bakho bothando, isenzo nje sokulalana sihlala sichaphazela indlela ozibona ngayo, ingcono okanye imbi. Kubantu abanoluvo oluqinileyo lwelitye malunga nokuba bangoobani kwaye bafuna ntoni (kokubini kwigumbi lokulala nasebomini), ababhali bophononongo bacinga ukuba i-PCD ayinakwenzeka. "Kumntu onezimvo ezibuthathaka kakhulu kuye, kunokuba yingxaki," utsho uSchweitzer.

USchweitzer uthi kunokwenzeka ukuba ikhona into yemfuza kwi-PCD nayo-abaphandi baqaphela ukufana phakathi kwamawele alwa ne-post-sex blues (ukuba elinye iwele lalinamava, elinye lalinokuba njalo). Kodwa kufuneka uphando ngakumbi ukuvavanya loo mbono.

I-ISSM ikwacacisa oku kulandelayo njengezizathu ezinokubakho zokukhala emva kwesondo:

• Kungenzeka ukuba amava okubambisana kunye neqabane ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo likhulu kangangokuba ukuphulwa kobudlelwane kubangela usizi.
• Impendulo yeemvakalelo inokuthi inxibelelene nokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo okwenzeke kwixesha elidlulileyo.
• Ngamanye amaxesha, inokuba ngumqondiso wobudlelwane obusisiseko.

Okwangoku, ukuba uyasokola, inyathelo lokuqala inokuba kukuchonga iindawo ebomini bakho ezinokuthi uzive uxinezelekile okanye ungazithembanga, utshilo uSchweitzer. (Icebiso lePro: Phulaphula ingcebiso yala manenekazi athembeke kakhulu ukuba agxothe nayiphi na imiba yokuzithemba.) Ukuba uhlala ulila emva kokwabelana ngesondo kwaye iyakukhathaza, inokuba licebo elihle ukubonana nomcebisi, ugqirha, okanye i-sex therapist.

Umxholo, nangona kunjalo? Ayisiyonto iphosakeleyo ukulila emva kwesondo. (Yenye yezinto ezi-19 ezingaqhelekanga ezinokukwenza ukhale.)

Uphengululo lwe