Ukudakumba kuphantse kwaqhekeza ubudlelwane bam

Umxholo

• Uxinzelelo luthatha umonakalo kubudlelwane
• Ngokuxilongwa kweza isiqabu - {textend} kunye neentloni
• Ukufumana okwenyani ngoxinzelelo kunye nokufumana unyango

Omnye umfazi wabelana ngebali lendlela uxinzelelo olungafumanekiyo oluphantse lwaphela ngayo ubudlelwane bakhe kunye nendlela alufumene ngayo uncedo aludingayo.

KwakuyiCrisp, ukuwa ngeCawa xa umfana wam, uB, andothusa ngekhadi lesipho kwindawo yokuhlala ekufutshane. Wayesazi ukuba bendiphoswa kukukhwela ihashe. Ndithathe izifundo ndineminyaka eli-8, kodwa ndayeka xa ingqolowa yayithengisa iminyaka embalwa ngaphambili. Ukusukela ngoko, bendiye kwindlela ekhwele ezimbalwa kwaye ndithathe izifundo ezimbalwa zokungena, kodwa akukho nto yayiziva ifana.

U-B wayefikelele kumphathi we-barn kwaye wasilungiselela ukuba siphume siye kudibana namanye amahashe ayekhona e-part-board (ekuvumela ukuba uhlawule umrhumo wenyanga ukukhwela ihashe amatyeli aliqela ngeveki).

Ndandinemincili ngendlela emangalisayo. Siphume saya ebuhlanti sadibana nomnini wamahashe aliqela. Emva kokuskena iphedi yenkunkuma, amehlo am abhekisa kumhlaba omhle, omnyama waseFriesian ogama linguGuinness - {textend} ngokungqinelana nebhiya eyintandokazi ka-B. Kwakubonakala ngathi bekufanele ukuba njalo.

Ndichithe iiCawe ezimbalwa ezilandelayo ndisiya eshedini ukuze ndazi uGuinness kwaye ndimkhwelise kwindlela. Ndaziva ndinovuyo.

Kwadlula iiveki ezininzi, kwaye ngenye iCawa, ndandihleli ebhedini phakathi kwemini ndizinkcinkca ngeNetflix. B ungene eroomin wacebisa ndiphume ndiye eshedini.

Ndavela ndalila.

Bendingafuni ukuya eshedini. Bendifuna ukulala ebhedini. Ukuphela kwexesha, yonke into endakha ndafuna ukuyenza yayikukulala ebhedini, kwaye andazi ukuba kwakutheni.

B wandithuthuzela wandiqinisekisa ukuba yonke into ilungile. Ukuba andifuni ukukhwela, bekungafuneki. Ukuba sonke sasidinga usuku lokulala ebhedini ngalo lonke ixesha.

Ndinyanzelise uncumo ngokukhala kwaye ndanqwala - {textend} ngaphandle kokwazi ukuba "qho ngoku" kwaye kwajika kwenzeka rhoqo kum.

Uxinzelelo luthatha umonakalo kubudlelwane

Kwiinyanga eziliqela ezalandelayo, ndandibuhlungu ngokuba phakathi kwabantu. B ngekhe ayitsho, kodwa bendisazi ukuba ndinguye. Ndandihlala ndidiniwe, ndiphikisana, ndinoburhalarhume kwaye ndingakhathali. Ndisilele njengeqabane, intombi, kunye nomhlobo.

Ndibheyile kwizicwangciso ezenzelwe ukuhlala ngaphakathi kwaye ndizihlukanise nabo bakufutshane kum. Xa abahlobo bethu beza kudlala ibhola ngeCawa, ndandizivalele egumbini lethu ndilele okanye ndibukele umabonakude oyinyani ongenangqondo. Ngelixa ndingazange ndibengumntu othomalalisayo, le ndlela yokuziphatha yayinqabe kum, kwaye yaqala ukubangela ingxaki enkulu.

Ekugqibeleni, ndaqala ukukhetha umlo noB apho imilo yayingafuneki ukuba ithathwe. Ndandimangalela kwaye ndingazithembanga. Ukwahlukana kusongelwa izihlandlo ezininzi. Sasihleli kunye iminyaka emithathu kweli nqanaba, nangona sasisazana ixesha elide.

Kwaya kubonakala ngokucacileyo ku-B ukuba kukho into engalunganga. Andinguye umntu obekekileyo, omnandi, noyilayo awayeyazi iminyaka.

Ngelixa ndandingekazichazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngam, bendisazi ukuba yinto ethile.

Ndiyazi ukuba ukuba ndifuna ukuba ubudlelwane bam no-B bube ngcono, kwafuneka ndibengcono kuqala.

Ngokuxilongwa kweza isiqabu - {textend} kunye neentloni

Ndenza idinga nogqirha wam ndaza ndachaza indlela endandiziva ngayo. Ubuze ukuba ndinayo na imbali yosapho yokudakumba. Ndenze: Umakhulu wam unengxaki yokungalingani kwemichiza efuna ukuba asebenzise amayeza.

Ucebise ukuba iimpawu zam zixinezelekile kwaye mhlawumbi zonyaka, kwaye undimisele idosi ephantsi yeserotonin reuptake inhibitor ekhethiweyo (SSRI).

Ndaphoxeka kwangoko phakathi kokukhululeka ukuba kukho inkcazo malunga nokuziphatha kwam kwakutshanje kwaye ndineentloni zokuba ndafunyaniswa ndinempilo yengqondo kwaye ndamiselwa i-antidepressant.

Ndikhumbula ukubiza B kwaye ndineentloni njengoko ndandidanisa malunga nesihloko sonyango. Ndimbuzile ukuba ihamba njani imini yakhe, ubuze ukuba ufuna ukwenza ntoni ngesidlo sangokuhlwa ngorhatya- {textend} intle kakhulu nantoni na eya kuvala incoko engenakuphepheka esiza kuba nayo.

Ekugqibeleni, ndavuma ukuba ugqirha wayecinga ukuba ndinexinzelelo kwaye wandinika into ethile. Ndanyanzelisa ukuba andifuni kufakwa kumayeza kwaye ugqirha kungenzeka ukuba uyasabela.

Ndithe nantoni na endinokuyenza ngethemba lokuba uB uzakuqinisekisa isigqibo sam. Khange ayenze.

Endaweni yoko, wenza into ebaluleke ngakumbi. Walwamkela uxilongo kwaye wandikhuthaza ukuba ndimamele ugqirha kwaye ndisele amayeza. Undikhumbuze ukuba imeko yempilo yengqondo ayihlukanga kunayo nayiphi na enye imeko okanye ukwenzakala. “Unyange ingalo eyaphukileyo, andithi? Akukho nto yahlukileyo le. ”

Ukuva ukuqinisekiswa kuka-B kunye nendlela yakhe yokuqiqa kule meko indenze ndaziva ndikhululekile kwaye ndinethemba.

Ndizalise amayeza am, kwaye kwisithuba seeveki, sobabini siqaphele utshintsho olukhulu kwimood yam, umbono wam, kunye namandla. Intloko yam yaziva icacile, ndaziva ndonwabile, kwaye ndandizisola ngokungafuni unyango kwangoko.

Ukufumana okwenyani ngoxinzelelo kunye nokufumana unyango

Ukuba ulwalamano ngoku kwaye uhlala noxinzelelo, Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezinokukunceda:

1. Nxibelelana. Unxibelelwano neqabane lakho ngundoqo. Thetha ngokuphandle malunga nendlela oqhuba ngayo.
2. Cela uncedo. Ukuba ufuna uncedo okanye inkxaso, lucele. Iqabane lakho alikwazi ukufunda ingqondo yakho.
3. Yazi ukuba kulungile ukuba ungalungi. Ayizizo zonke iintsuku eziya kuba yimvula kunye nelanga, kwaye kulungile.
4. Fundisa. Ulwazi ngamandla. Yenza uphando lwakho. Funda okunokukwenza malunga nohlobo lwakho loxinzelelo kunye nonyango lwakho. Qinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho lifundisiwe ngesihloko, nawe.

Eli libali lam lokufumanisa uxinzelelo. Ndinethamsanqa lokuba nomntu oqondayo kwaye angamgwebi njengo-B, ngoku ndinethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndibize umntu endiza kutshata naye.

Ukuba uhlala noxinzelelo, yazi ukuba kuya kuba lula kakhulu xa unenkxaso yabathandekayo bakho.