Amanqanaba asi-8 ka-Erikson oPhuhliso lwezeNgqondo, luchaziwe kuBazali

Umxholo

• Inqanaba 1: Ithemba ngokuchasene nokungathembani
• Ukuzalwa kwiinyanga ezili-12-18 ubudala
• Inqanaba 2: Ukuzimela xa kuthelekiswa neentloni kunye nokuthandabuza
• Iinyanga ezili-18 ukuya kwiminyaka emi-3 ubudala
• Inqanaba 3: Inyathelo lokuqala nxamnye netyala
• Uneminyaka emi-3 ukuya kwemi-5 ubudala
• Inqanaba 4: Umzi mveliso ngokuchasene nokuzithoba
• Iminyaka emi-5 ukuya kweli-12 ubudala
• Inqanaba 5: Isazisi vs. ukudideka
• Uneminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-18 ubudala
• Inqanaba 6: Ukusondelelana vs.
• Uneminyaka eli-18 ukuya kwengama-40 ubudala
• Inqanaba 7: Ukuvelisa ngokuchasene nokuma
• Iminyaka engama-40 ukuya kwengama-65 ubudala
• Inqanaba 8: Ingqibelelo ngokuchasene nokuphelelwa lithemba
• Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-65 ubudala
• Isishwankathelo sezigaba zikaErikson
• Ukuthatha

U-Erik Erikson ligama elinye onokuthi uliqaphele ukuba liza kaninzi kwiimagazini zobuzali ozifundayo. U-Erikson wayengusosayikholo ophuculweyo owayechwephesha kwezengqondo ngengqondo yomntwana kwaye wayesaziwa kakhulu ngengcinga yakhe yophuhliso lwengqondo.

Ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo kunye nentetho ibinzana nje elithandekayo elibhekisa kwindlela iimfuno zomntu ngamnye (psycho) mesh kunye neemfuno okanye iimfuno zoluntu (ezentlalo).

Ngokuka-Erikson, umntu udlula kwizigaba ezisibhozo zophuhliso ezakhayo komnye nomnye. Kwinqanaba ngalinye sijamelana nengxaki. Ngokusombulula ingxaki, sikhulisa amandla engqondo kunye neempawu ezisinceda ukuba sizithembe kwaye sibe ngabantu abaphilileyo.

Ithiyori kaErikson yophuhliso lwengqondo nosinika indlela yokujonga ukukhula komntu ngalo lonke ixesha lokuphila. Kodwa njengazo zonke iithiyori, inezithintelo: U-Erikson akachazi ngqo indlela ekusonjululwa ngayo iingxabano. Ayiniki nkcukacha ngendlela ohamba ngayo ukusuka kwelinye inqanaba ukuya kwelinye.

Nokuba wenza ntoni, njengoko ufunda la manqanaba angezantsi, unokufumana ukunqwala kwisivumelwano xa usazi wena-okanye umntwana wakho.

Inqanaba 1: Ithemba ngokuchasene nokungathembani

Ukuzalwa kwiinyanga ezili-12-18 ubudala

Inqanaba lokuqala lethiyori ka-Erikson iqala ekuzalweni kwaye ihlala ide umntwana wakho asondele kusuku lokuzalwa kwakhe nangaphaya kancinci.

Mhlawumbi uqaphele ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci uxhomekeke ngokupheleleyo kuwe kuyo yonke into: ukutya, ukufudumala, intuthuzelo. Yiba khona ngenxa yosana lwakho ngokungabaniki ukhathalelo lomzimba kuphela, kodwa nothando oluninzi- akukho mfuneko yokubamba ii-cuddles zakho.

Ngokubonelela ngezi mfuno zisisiseko, ubafundisa ukuba banokuxhomekeka kuwe. Oku kwakha ngaphakathi kubo amandla engqondo okuthembana. Uziva ukhuselekile kwaye ukhuselekile, usana lwakho luya kuba lukulungele ukubona umhlaba.

Kwenzeka ntoni xa utshibilika? Mhlawumbi uyakhala kanye ethubeni. Okanye awufuni ukufunda elinye ibali lokulala. Sukuba nexhala: U-Erikson uyavuma ukuba singabantu nje.

Akukho lusana lukhula kwihlabathi eligqibeleleyo. Ukuxokozela ngamanye amaxesha kunika umntwana wakho umnwe wokhuseleko. Ngale nto, xa bekulungele ukuva umhlaba, baya kuhlala bejongile ngemiqobo.

Kodwa kwenzeka ntoni xa abazali bengaguquguquki kwaye bengathembeki? Abantwana abaneemfuno ezingafezekiswanga baya kujonga kwihlabathi ngoxinzelelo, uloyiko kunye nokungathembani.

Inqanaba 2: Ukuzimela xa kuthelekiswa neentloni kunye nokuthandabuza

Iinyanga ezili-18 ukuya kwiminyaka emi-3 ubudala

Uyazi ukuba ubethile eli nqanaba libalulekileyo xa umntwana wakho omncinci eqala ukubanga inkululeko yabo. Bayayiqonda into yokuba banokwenza ezinye izinto ngokwabo- kwaye zona nyanzelisa kwezo zinto.

Ingcebiso yepro: Endaweni yokuxhalaba ukuba ukhathalelo lwemini luza kubuza ukukwazi kwakho ukuba ngumzali kuba umntwana wakho omncinci unxibe izihlangu zakhe ezinyaweni ezingalunganga- emva kokuzibeka kubo-ulumke ke ubayeke baphume ngoluhlobo.

Kule nqanaba, umntwana wakho omncinci unokukhetha ukutya. Ke mabazikhethele amashwamshwam. Okanye mabavumele bakhethe ihempe abafuna ukuyinxiba. (Icebo lokusinda: Banike iihempe ezimbini ozokukhetha kuzo.) Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyakubakho amaxesha apho iimpahla zabo zingahambelani. I-Grin kwaye uyinyamezele kuba ubanike ithuba lokukhetha kuthetha ukubanceda bakhe ukuzithemba kwabo.

Nantsi enye inkulu: Umntwana wakho omncinci ulungele uqeqesho lwangasese. Ukufunda ukulawula imisebenzi yabo yomzimba kubanika imvakalelo yokuzimela okanye yokuzimela.

Abantwana abeza kweli nqanaba ngemibala ephaphazelayo baya kukholelwa kubo kwaye bazive bekhuselekile kubuchule babo. Abantwana abanganikwanga thuba lokuba bazibonakalise (ngaphakathi kwemida oyibekileyo) baya kulwa neemvakalelo zokungoneliseki kunye nokuzithemba, ngokukaErikson.

Inqanaba 3: Inyathelo lokuqala nxamnye netyala

Uneminyaka emi-3 ukuya kwemi-5 ubudala

Le yiminyaka yasesikolweni. Njengoko umntwana wakho enxibelelana noluntu kwaye edlala nabanye, bafunda ukuba banokuthatha inyathelo lokuqala kwaye balawule okwenzekayo.

Unokukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba acwangcise, afezekise iinjongo, kwaye athathe uxanduva ngokuqinisekisa ukuba banamathuba amaninzi okunxibelelana nabanye. Vumela ukuba baphonononge umhlaba ngaphakathi kwemida oyimisileyo. Bathathe batyelele abantu abadala kwaye banike iitshokholethi. Misela ixesha lokudlala kubo noontanga babo.

Kwaye ungalibali ukuba unokuba ngumlingani, naye. Nika umntwana wakho ithuba lokuhambisa umboniso ngokumvumela ukuba abe ngutitshala, ugqirha, okanye umabhalana wentengiso ngelixa usenza umfundi, isiguli okanye umthengi.

Naku xa umntwana wakho eqala ukubuza imibuzo engapheliyo. Ngamanye amaxesha ifilosofi yakho encinci iyazibuza ukuba ziphi izinja emva kokuba zife xa sele uhleli phantsi ubukele umboniso owuphosileyo ngenxa yokuba uwuse kumdlalo wesibini wokudlala. Phefumlela ngaphakathi. Ngokujongana nale mibuzo ngomdla onyanisekileyo, utyala imali kumntwana wakho ngokuzimela.

Eli nqanaba limalunga nokungaphezulu kokubiza nje izibhamu. Ngokudibana nabanye ekuhlaleni nangokudlala, umntwana wakho uhlakulela ukuzithemba kwaye afunde ukonwabela ukuba nenjongo.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba abazali bayalawula okanye abaxhasi umntwana wabo xa besenza izigqibo, umntwana akanakho ukuxhotyiselwa ukuthatha inyathelo lokuqala, usenokungabi namabhongo, kwaye angazaliswa enetyala. Ukoyisa iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala kunokuthintela umntwana ekunxibelelaneni nabanye kwaye kuthintele ubuchule babo.

Inqanaba 4: Umzi mveliso ngokuchasene nokuzithoba

Iminyaka emi-5 ukuya kweli-12 ubudala

Umntwana wakho ubethile kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi. Apha kulapho bafunda khona izakhono ezitsha. Kukwalapho isangqa sabo sempembelelo sisiba banzi khona.

Umntwana wakho uneetitshala ezininzi noontanga bakhe. Banokuqala ukuzithelekisa nabanye. Ukuba bathatha isigqibo sokuba baqhuba kakuhle kwizifundo, ebaleni lezemidlalo, kubugcisa, okanye ekuhlaleni, umntwana wakho uya kuba neemvakalelo zokuzingca kunye nokufezekisa. (Qaphela: Bayakuthelekisa nosapho lwabo nezinye iintsapho.)

Ukuba uqaphela ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki kwindawo enye, jonga enye indawo anokuthi akhanye kuyo. Nceda umntwana wakho aphuhlise amandla abo kwiindawo apho banobuhle bendalo.

Basenokungabi zi whizzes zezibalo, kodwa mhlawumbi banokuzoba okanye bacule. Ngaba ngokwemvelo banomonde kubantwana abancinci? Bayeke bancedise ekunyamekeleni abantakwabo.

Xa umntwana wakho ephumelela, baya kuziva bekhuthele kwaye bakholelwa ukuba banokuzibekela iinjongo-kwaye bafikelele kuzo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba abantwana banamava aphindaphindiweyo ekhaya okanye banoluvo lokuba uluntu lufuna kakhulu izinto, banokuphucula iimvakalelo zokujongela phantsi.

Inqanaba 5: Isazisi vs. ukudideka

Uneminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-18 ubudala

Ukufikisa. Nali ithuba lakho lokuhlaziya izakhono zokuphefumla ezinzulu oziphuhlisileyo xa umntwana wakho emncinci.

Kweli nqanaba lokukhula kwengqondo, umntwana wakho ujongene nomceli mngeni wokukhulisa ingqondo yesiqu sakhe. Benza isazisi ngokujonga iinkolelo zabo, iinjongo zabo kunye neenqobo zabo ezisemgangathweni.

Imibuzo abajongane nayo akukho lula ukuyiphendula: "Ndingubani?", "Ndifuna ukusebenza ntoni?", "Ndilunge njani eluntwini?" Phosa kuko konke oku kudideka umbuzo othi "Kwenzeka ntoni emzimbeni wam?" kwaye mhlawumbi uya kukhumbula isiphithiphithi owasivayo xa wawufikisa. Kuhambo lwabo lokuzimela, uninzi lwabakwishumi elivisayo luya kuphonononga iindima ezahlukeneyo kunye nemibono eyahlukeneyo.

Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho ofikisayo ukuba asombulule ngempumelelo le mpixano yengqondo nengqondo?

Ngelixa u-Erikson engacacanga, yazi ukuba ukhuthazo kunye nokomeleza umntwana wakho kubalulekile ekwakheni ubuni bakhe. Ukongeza, amava omntwana wakho kunye nokunxibelelana kwezentlalo kubumba indlela abaziphethe ngayo kunye neenjongo zabo.

Abafikisayo abahlangabezana ngempumelelo nale ngxaki baya kuza benesazisi esomeleleyo. Bazokwazi ukugcina la maxabiso ngaphandle kwemiceli mngeni abaya kujongana nayo kwixa elizayo.

Kodwa xa abakwishumi elivisayo bengazikhangeli ukuba bangobani, abanokukhula beziva bodwa kwaye abayi kuba nomfanekiso ocacileyo wekamva labo. Ukudideka okufanayo kunokuba namandla xa wena, njengomzali wabo, uzama ukubanyanzela ukuba bahambisane nemilinganiselo neenkolelo zakho.

Inqanaba 6: Ukusondelelana vs.

Uneminyaka eli-18 ukuya kwengama-40 ubudala

Kulapha apho uqala khona ukunqwala njengoko uzibona. Khumbula ukuba sathi isigaba ngasinye sakha kwesilandelayo? Abantu abanoluvo olomeleleyo lokuzazisa ngoku bakulungele ukwabelana ngobomi babo nabanye.

Eli lixesha lokutyala ukuzibophelela kwabanye. Umceli mngeni ngokwasemphefumlweni ngoku-ngokukaErikson- kukwakha ubudlelwane bexesha elide abaziva bekhuselekile.

Xa abantu beligqiba eli nqanaba ngempumelelo, beza ngobudlelwane obukhuselekileyo obuzaliswe kukuzinikela nothando.

Abantu abangakhange bakwazi ukugqibezela inqanaba elidlulileyo ngempumelelo kwaye abanalo uluvo olomeleleyo lwesazisi ngokubanzi abanako ukwakha ubudlelwane obuzinikeleyo, ngokwale ithiyori.

Ukungabikho kokhuseleko kunye nobushushu bobudlelwane obunothando, kunokwenzeka ukuba babe nesizungu kunye noxinzelelo.

Inxulumene: Uyazi njani kwaye ugqithise kwimicimbi yokuzibophelela

Inqanaba 7: Ukuvelisa ngokuchasene nokuma

Iminyaka engama-40 ukuya kwengama-65 ubudala

Eli nqanaba lesixhenxe libonakaliswa yimfuneko yokunika abanye. Kwikhaya elingaphambili, oku kuthetha ukukhulisa abantwana bakho. Ikwanokuthetha ukufaka isandla kuluntu kunye neziganeko kuluntu olungcono.

Phambi komsebenzi, abantu bazabalazela ukwenza kakuhle kwaye babe nemveliso. Sukuba noxinzelelo xa ungalifumani ixesha lokuyifaka yonke - kungafuneka ulinde ixeshana de abantu abancinci endlwini yakho bangabi nzima kangako.

Abantu abagqibe eli nqanaba ngempumelelo banelisekile kukwazi ukuba uyafuneka. Baziva ngathi banegalelo kwiintsapho zabo nakuluntu nakwindawo yokusebenza.

Ngaphandle kwengxelo elungileyo kwezi ndawo, nangona kunjalo, abantu banokufumana ukuma.Ukudana kukuba bengakwazi ukukhulisa usapho, ukuphumelela emsebenzini, okanye ukwenza igalelo ekuhlaleni, banokuziva beqhawukile. Basenokungaziva benomdla wokutyala imali ekukhuleni komntu okanye kwimveliso.

Inxulumene: Imveliso yakho ayimiseli ixabiso lakho

Inqanaba 8: Ingqibelelo ngokuchasene nokuphelelwa lithemba

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-65 ubudala

Eli linqanaba lokucinga. Ngexesha lokuba mdala emva kwexesha, xa isantya sobomi sincipha, abantu bajonge emva ebomini babo ukuvavanya oko bakuphumeleleyo. Abantu abanekratshi ngoko bakwenzileyo bafumana ulwaneliseko lokwenene.

Nangona kunjalo, abantu abangakhange bawagqibe amanqanaba angaphambili banokuba neemvakalelo zelahleko kunye nokuzisola. Ukuba babona ubomi babo njengobungenamveliso, baye bangoneliseki kwaye badandatheke.

Into enomdla kukuba eli nqanaba lokugqibela, ngokukaErikson, lelinye lokuhamba. Abantu bahlala betshintsha phakathi kweemvakalelo zokwoneliseka kunye nokuzisola. Ukujonga emva ebomini ukufumana imeko yokuvalwa kunokunceda ukujamelana nokufa ngaphandle koloyiko.

Isishwankathelo sezigaba zikaErikson

Ukuthatha

U-Erikson wayekholelwa kwelokuba ingcamango yakhe “sisixhobo sokucinga kunokuba ibe kukuhlalutya okuyinyani.” Thatha la manqanaba asibhozo njengesiqalo osisebenzisayo ukunceda umntwana wakho ukuba aphuhlise izakhono zengqondo nezengqondo azidingayo ukuze abe ngumntu ophumeleleyo, kodwa ungazithathi njengomthetho.