Yeyiphi ingxaki ekhoyo, kwaye ndiyiQhekeza njani?

Umxholo

• Ushwankathelo
• Inkcazo yeengxaki ezikhoyo
• Oonobangela
• Imibuzo yeengxaki ezikhoyo
• Intlekele yenkululeko noxanduva
• Intlekele yokufa kunye nokufa
• Ingxaki yokuzahlula kunye nokunxibelelana
• Ubunzima bentsingiselo kunye nentsingiselo
• Ubunzima beemvakalelo, amava, kunye nokwenziwa kwembonakalo
• Iimpawu zeengxaki ezikhoyo
• Uxinzelelo lweengxaki ezikhoyo
• Uxinzelelo lweengxaki ezikhoyo
• Ukuphazamiseka okubonakalayo okunyanzelekileyo okunyanzelekileyo (OCD)
• Uncedo lweengxaki ezikhoyo
• Thatha ulawulo lweengcinga zakho
• Gcina ijenali yombulelo ukoyisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga
• Zikhumbuze ngesizathu sokuba ubomi bunenjongo
• Musa ukulindela ukufumana zonke iimpendulo
• Nini ukubona ugqirha
• Yise kude

Ushwankathelo

Uninzi lwabantu luba noxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo ngaxa lithile ebomini babo. Kwabaninzi, ezi mvakalelo zexeshana elifutshane kwaye aziphazamisi kakhulu kumgangatho wobomi babo.

Kodwa kwabanye, iimvakalelo ezingalunganga zingakhokelela ekuphelelweni lithemba, zibenze bathandabuze ngendawo yabo ebomini. Oku kwaziwa njengengxaki ekhoyo.

Uluvo lwengxaki ekhoyo luye lwafundwa ngoochwephesha bezengqondo kunye noogqirha bezengqondo abanjengoKazimierz Dabrowski kunye no-Irvin D. Yalom amashumi eminyaka, ukuqala kwangowe-1929.

Nangona kunjalo nangobuninzi bophando oludala kunye nolutsha ngesihloko, unokungaqheleki ngeli gama, okanye ungayiqondi indlela ohluke ngayo kuxinzelelo oluqhelekileyo noxinzelelo.

Nantsi into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nengxaki ekhoyo, kunye nendlela yokoyisa eli thuba lokujika.

Inkcazo yeengxaki ezikhoyo

"Abantu banokuba nengxaki ekhoyo xa beqala ukuzibuza ukuba ubomi buthetha ntoni, kwaye iyintoni injongo yabo okanye injongo yobomi xa iyonke," ucacisa watsho uKatie Leikam, ingcali kwezonyango eDecatur, eGeorgia, nojolise ekusebenzeni ngoxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kubudlelwane, kunye nokuzazisa ngokwesini. "Kungayikhefu kwiindlela zokucinga apho ngequbuliso ufuna iimpendulo kwimibuzo ebalulekileyo yobomi."

Akuqhelekanga ukukhangela intsingiselo kunye nenjongo ebomini bakho. Ngengxaki ekhoyo, nangona kunjalo, ingxaki ilele kukungakwazi ukufumana iimpendulo ezonelisayo. Abanye abantu, ukunqongophala kweempendulo kubangela ungquzulwano lomntu ngaphakathi, lubangele unxunguphalo kunye nokuphulukana novuyo lwangaphakathi.

Ingxaki ekhoyo inokuchaphazela nabani na nangaliphi na ubudala, kodwa uninzi luba namava obunzima kwimeko enzima, mhlawumbi umzabalazo wokuphumelela.

Oonobangela

Imiceli mngeni yemihla ngemihla kunye noxinzelelo akunakho ukubangela ingxaki ekhoyo. Olu hlobo lwengxaki lunokulandela ukuphelelwa lithemba okunzulu okanye isiganeko esibalulekileyo, esifana nengozi enkulu okanye ilahleko enkulu. Oonobangela abambalwa beengxaki ezikhoyo banokubandakanya:

• ityala ngento ethile
• Ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo ekufeni, okanye ukujamelana nenyani yokufa kukabani
• baziva bengonelisekanga ekuhlaleni
• ukungoneliseki ngesiqu sakho
• Imbali yeemvakalelo zebhotile

Imibuzo yeengxaki ezikhoyo

Iindidi ezahlukeneyo zeengxaki ezikhoyo zibandakanya:

Intlekele yenkululeko noxanduva

Unenkululeko yokwenza ukhetho lwakho, olunokutshintsha ubomi bakho bube ngcono okanye obubi. Uninzi lwabantu lukhetha le nkululeko, ngokuchasene nokuba kubekho umntu obenzela izigqibo.

Kodwa le nkululeko iza noxanduva. Kuya kufuneka uyamkele imiphumo yokhetho olwenzayo. Ukuba usebenzisa inkululeko yakho ukwenza ukhetho olungapheliyo, ngekhe ubeke ityala komnye umntu.

Kweminye, le nkululeko inzima kakhulu kwaye ibangela uxinzelelo olukhoyo, oluquka konke ukuxhalaba malunga nentsingiselo yobomi kunye nokukhetha.

Intlekele yokufa kunye nokufa

Ingxaki ekhoyo inokubetha emva kokuguqula iminyaka ethile. Umzekelo, usuku lwakho lokuzalwa lwama-50 lunokunyanzela ukuba ujongane nobunyani bobomi bakho besiqingatha, oku kukhokelela ekubeni ubuze isiseko sobomi bakho.

Unokucinga ngentsingiselo yobomi nokufa, kwaye ubuze imibuzo enje, "Kwenzeka ntoni emva kokufa?" Ukoyika into eza kulandela ukufa kunokubangela ixhala. Olu hlobo lweengxaki lunokwenzeka nasemva kokuba kufunyaniswe ukuba unesifo esibi okanye xa sele kusondele ukufa.

Ingxaki yokuzahlula kunye nokunxibelelana

Nokuba uyakonwabela ukuhlala wedwa nokuba wedwa, abantu ngabantu. Ubuhlobo obomeleleyo bunokukuxhasa ngengqondo nangokweemvakalelo, buzise ulwaneliseko novuyo lwangaphakathi. Ingxaki kukuba ubudlelwane abuhlali busisigxina.

Abantu banokuqhekeka phakathi ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kwaye ukufa kuhlala kohlula abantu esibathandayo. Oku kungakhokelela ekubeni babe ngamakheswa kunye nesizungu, kubangele abanye abantu bazive ngathi ubomi babo abunanjongo.

Ubunzima bentsingiselo kunye nentsingiselo

Ukuba nenjongo kunye nenjongo ebomini kunokunika ithemba. Kodwa emva kokucinga ngobomi bakho, unokuziva ukuba awuzange ufeze nantoni na ebalulekileyo okanye wenze umahluko. Oku kunokukhokelela abantu ekuthandabuzeni ubukho babo.

Ubunzima beemvakalelo, amava, kunye nokwenziwa kwembonakalo

Ukungazivumeli ukuba uzive ungonwabanga ngamanye amaxesha kungakhokelela kwingxaki ekhoyo. Abanye abantu bayayithintela intlungu nokubandezeleka, becinga ukuba oku kuya kubonwabisa. Kodwa inokuthi ikhokelele kwimvakalelo engeyiyo yolonwabo. Kwaye xa ungalufumani ulonwabo lokwenene, ubomi bungaziva bungento.

Kwelinye icala, ukubandakanya iimvakalelo kunye nokuvuma iimvakalelo zentlungu, ukungoneliseki, kunye nokungoneliseki kunokuvula ucango ekukhuleni komntu, kuphucule indlela ojonga ngayo ubomi.

Iimpawu zeengxaki ezikhoyo

Ukufumana uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo xa ubomi bakho bungahambanga akusoloko kuthetha ukuba uhamba nobunzima obukhoyo. Ezi mvakalelo, nangona kunjalo, zibotshelelwe kwingxaki xa zikhatshwa sisidingo sokufumana injongo ebomini.

Uxinzelelo lweengxaki ezikhoyo

Ngexesha lobunzima obukhoyo, unokufumana iimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo zoxinzelelo. Ezi mpawu zinokubandakanya ukuphulukana nomdla kwimisebenzi oyithandayo, ukudinwa, intloko ebuhlungu, iimvakalelo zokuphelelwa lithemba, kunye nokudakumba okungapheliyo.

Kwimeko yokudakumba okhoyo, usenokuba neengcinga ngokuzibulala okanye isiphelo sobomi, okanye uzive ukuba ubomi bakho abunanjongo, utshilo uLeikam.

Ukuphelelwa lithemba ngolu hlobo loxinzelelo kunxulumene ngokunzulu neemvakalelo zobomi obungenanjongo. Usenokungabaza injongo yako konke: "Ngaba kusebenza kuphela, ukuhlawula amatyala, kwaye ekugqibeleni ndife?"

Uxinzelelo lweengxaki ezikhoyo

"Uxinzelelo olukhoyo lunokuzibonakalisa luxakeke bubomi basemva kobomi okanye ukukhathazeka okanye ukoyikeka ngendawo yakho nezicwangciso zakho ebomini," utshilo uLeikam.

Olu xinzelelo lwahlukile kuxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla ngengqondo yokuba yonke into inokukwenza ungakhululeki kwaye ube nexhala, kubandakanya nobukho bakho. Ungazibuza, "Yintoni injongo yam kwaye ndingena phi?"

Ukuphazamiseka okubonakalayo okunyanzelekileyo okunyanzelekileyo (OCD)

Ngamanye amaxesha, iingcinga malunga nentsingiselo yobomi kunye nenjongo yakho zinokuba nzima kakhulu engqondweni yakho kwaye zibangele iingcinga zokubaleka. Oku kwaziwa njenge-OCD ekhoyo, kwaye inokwenzeka xa uthe phithi okanye unyanzelekile malunga nenjongo yobomi.

"Ingabonisa isidingo sokubuza imibuzo kaninzi-ninzi, okanye ukungakwazi ukuphumla de ube uneempendulo kwimibuzo yakho," utshilo uLeikam.

Uncedo lweengxaki ezikhoyo

Ukufumana injongo yakho kunye nenjongo ebomini kunokukunceda ukhululeke kwintlekele ekhoyo. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa zokuhlangabezana nazo:

Thatha ulawulo lweengcinga zakho

Endaweni yeembono ezingakhiyo neziphelelwe lithemba ngeendawo ezakhayo. Ukuzixelela ukuba ubomi bakho abunantsingiselo kunokuba sisiprofeto esizimeleyo. Endaweni yoko, thabatha amanyathelo ukuze uphile ubomi obunenjongo. Phuthuma uthando, volontiya kwinjongo okholelwa kuyo, okanye uqhelisele ukuba nemfesane.

Gcina ijenali yombulelo ukoyisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga

Ubomi bakho mhlawumbi bunentsingiselo engakumbi kunokuba ucinga. Bhala phantsi yonke into onombulelo ngayo. Oku kunokubandakanya usapho lwakho, umsebenzi, iitalente, iimpawu kunye nezinto oziphumezileyo.

Zikhumbuze ngesizathu sokuba ubomi bunenjongo

Ukuthatha ixesha lokuzihlola ngokwakho kunokukunceda ukuba uphumelele kwingxaki ekhoyo, uLeikam uthi.

Ukuba unengxaki yokubona okuhle kuwe, cela abahlobo kunye nosapho bachonge iimpawu ezintle onazo. Yeyiphi impembelelo entle onayo ebomini babo? Zeziphi ezona mpawu zakho zibalaseleyo unazo?

Musa ukulindela ukufumana zonke iimpendulo

Oku akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukufuna iimpendulo kwimibuzo ebalulekileyo yobomi. Kwangelo xesha, qonda ukuba eminye imibuzo ayizukufumana mpendulo.

Ukufumana ingxaki ekhoyo, uLeikam ukwacebisa ukwahlula imibuzo kwiimpendulo ezincinci, emva koko usebenze ukuze waneliswe kukufunda iimpendulo zemibuzo emincinci eyenza umfanekiso omkhulu.

Nini ukubona ugqirha

Unokwazi ukutyhubela ingxaki yakho ngokwakho, ngaphandle kogqirha. Kodwa ukuba iimpawu azihambi, okanye ukuba ziya zisiba mbi, jonga ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, ugqirha wezengqondo, okanye ugqirha.

Ezi ngcali zempilo yezengqondo zinokukunceda ujongane nengxaki ngokusebenzisa unyango lwentetho okanye unyango lokuziphatha. Olu luhlobo lonyango olujolise ekutshintsheni iipatheni zokucinga okanye zokuziphatha.

Funa uncedo kwangoko ukuba ucinga ngokuzibulala. Gcina ukhumbule, nangona kunjalo, akudingeki ukuba ulinde de kube yintlekele ifike kweli nqanaba ngaphambi kokuba uthethe nogqirha okanye omnye umboneleli wezempilo.

Nokuba awunazo iingcinga zokuzibulala, ugqirha unokunceda ngoxinzelelo olukhulu, uxinzelelo, okanye iingcinga ezingafunekiyo.

Yise kude

Ingxaki ekhoyo inokwenzeka kuye nawuphina umntu, ekhokelela ekubeni abaninzi babuze ubukho babo kunye nenjongo ebomini. Ngaphandle kobuzaza obunokubakho bale patheni yokucinga, kunokwenzeka ukuba woyise ingxaki kwaye udlule kwezi ngxaki.

Isitshixo kukuqonda indlela ingxaki ekhoyo eyohluka kuxinzelelo oluqhelekileyo kunye noxinzelelo, kunye nokufumana uncedo nakweyiphi na imvakalelo okanye iingcinga ongenakukushukumisa.