Ngaba usana lwam olukhulu ngokwam lusempilweni? Konke malunga nokufumana ubunzima bomntwana

Umxholo

• Ngaba iintsana ‘ezityebileyo’ ziphilile?
• Iintsana zenzelwe ukufumana ngokukhawuleza
• Kukho uluhlu lokuphakama kunye nobunzima
• Ngaba kukho iingxaki zempilo zabantwana abanzima?
• Kutheni ezinye iintsana zinzima kunezinye?
• Kufuneka wenze ntoni ukuba ukhathazekile?
• Yise kude

Umqulu wakho omncinci wovuyo unokuba mncinci kwaye ube mde ngobuhle okanye ngobuhle obunobunkunkqele kunye ne-squishy. Njengabantu abadala, iintsana ziza ngobukhulu bonke kunye neemilo.

Kodwa, ukuba uve ngaphezulu kwamagqabantshintshi ngokudlulayo malunga nobunzima bomntwana wakho ungaqala ukuzibuza. Ngaba yonke le miqulu iyinkxalabo? Ngaba umntwana wakho omncinci angaba "namafutha omntwana" amaninzi kakhulu?

Nantsi into ekufuneka uyazi malunga nokufumana ubunzima kunye nokukhula kweentsana.

Ngaba iintsana ‘ezityebileyo’ ziphilile?

Ewe, uninzi lweentsana ezinezidlele ezityebileyo okanye amathanga ama-chunky anciphisayo aphilile ngokugqibeleleyo. Indlela abantwana abafumana ngayo kwaye bathwale ubunzima ixhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi, kwaye ukujonga ezo zinto kunceda ekuboneni ukuba ngaba i-pudge yabo iyathandeka okanye iyabakhathaza.

Iintsana zikhula ngokukhawuleza, ngakumbi kunyaka wazo wokuqala. Ekuzalweni, ubunzima bomndilili wosana oluyindoda luzelwe ixesha elipheleleyo. Ubunzima bokuzalwa obuqhelekileyo kwiintsana zabasetyhini. Kodwa uninzi lweentsana ezisempilweni zizalwa zilula okanye zinzima kunobunzima obuqhelekileyo.

Kuxhomekeke kubude babo, kwaneentsana ezizalwe ngokulinganayo zinokujongeka ngathi zijikeleze kwaye zithambile zinemiqolo emininzi okanye zide kwaye zixhomekeke kukungqinwa okungaphantsi. Nokuba umntwana wakho omncinci unale nto siyicingayo ngokuba "ngamanqatha abantwana" akusoloko ku malunga nokuba bangakanani ubunzima.

Iintsana zenzelwe ukufumana ngokukhawuleza

Iintsana zinokuwuphinda kabini ubunzima bazo ngaphantsi kweenyanga ezi-6, ziphindwe kathathu ngeminyaka yobudala 1. Zonke iintsana zifuna ukutya okunamafutha aphezulu ukuxhasa ukukhula okukhawulezileyo nokukhula. Kungenxa yoko le nto umncinci wakho ehlala ebonakala ngathi ulambile!

Iintsana zigcina amanye ala mafutha phantsi kolusu ngenxa yokuba imizimba ekhulayo nengqondo ifuna ukubetha ngokukhawuleza kwamandla ngalo lonke ixesha. Usana lwakho lunokuba nemithambo yomzimba okanye izidlele ezikhulu, ezithambileyo. Ungakhathazeki - olu hlobo "lwamafutha" luqhelekileyo kwaye lusempilweni kusana lwakho.

Wonke umntwana ukhula ngezinga lakhe. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba umntwana akanakho ukutyeba okanye angakhuli veki nganye. Babo kukonke izinga lokukhula yinto ebalulekileyo.

Nanku uqikelelo oluqhelekileyo lokuba umntwana wakho uza kukhula kangakanani kunyaka wakhe wokuqala:

Ubungakanani bomntwana wakho obuzuzayo luphawu olubalulekileyo lwempilo yabo. Ugqirha wakho uya kujonga ukuphakama komntwana (okanye ubude) kunye nobukhulu beentloko ukuze ufumane ukuba umntwana wakho ukhula njani kwaye ukhula njani.

Ubunzima bomntwana bunokwahluka kakhulu. Olunye usana lukhula ngokukhawuleza kunabanye luze lucothe. Abanye abantwana banokufumana ubunzima kancinci, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe babambelele.

Kukho uluhlu lokuphakama kunye nobunzima

Umntwana wakho o-poly-poly usenokwenzeka ukuba usempilweni ngokupheleleyo. Ubunzima bomntwana obunempilo buxhomekeke kubude bomntwana wakho. Ngalo lonke ixesha umntwana wakho ekuluhlu lobunzima obuphilileyo kubude babo, bakwimeko esempilweni nokuba bajongeka kanjani be "chunky".

Ukuba omncinci wakho uphezulu kolo luhlu, banokuba lusana olukhulu, kodwa sekunobunzima obunempilo. Ugqirha wakho uya kujonga ubude kunye nobunzima bomntwana wakho kwitshathi yokukhula kosana. Umntwana ngamnye unikwa ipesenti.

Umzekelo, ukuba inkwenkwe yakho eneenyanga ezintandathu ubudala ikwi-98th percentile yobunzima kubude bayo, oku kuthetha ukuba zinzima kuneepesenti ezingama-98 zeentsana zesini esifanayo, ubudala nobude. Ngethuba nje umntwana wakho efumana ubunzima kwaye ekhula kunyaka wabo wokuqala, basempilweni.

Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci usenokuba nzima kakhulu ezingalweni zakho, ungakhathazeki. Nje ukuba iinkosi zakho zirhubuluze kwaye kamva, zihamba-hambe, ziya kuphulukana nalawo "amanqatha abantwana" akhohlisayo. Njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula abe ngumntwana omncinci osebenzayo ubunzima babo kufuneka balinganise nangakumbi.

Ngaba kukho iingxaki zempilo zabantwana abanzima?

Ewe, ukutyeba kakhulu kunokuba yinto enomdla kwiintsana.

Iingcali kwiYunivesithi yaseHarvard ziqaphele ukuba iintsana ezifumana ubunzima kakhulu kwiminyaka yazo yokuqala emi-2 zinokuba semngciphekweni omkhulu okanye iingxaki zempilo ebuntwaneni nasebudaleni. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba ulandele iinzuzo ekuhambeni kwexesha kunye nokuseka inqanaba lokufumana inzuzo.

Iintsana ezifumana ubunzima ngokukhawuleza kunyaka wokuqala okanye emibini zinokuba namathuba aphezulu okuba ngabantwana abatyebileyo kunye nabantu abadala, kuphawula oku kuhlaziywa kwe-2018 yezifundo.

Phantse umntwana omnye kwaba-5 utyebe kakhulu okanye utyebe kakhulu xa eneminyaka eyi-6. Kwaye, malunga nesiqingatha sabantwana abatyebe ngokugqithiseleyo babetyebe kakhulu kwiminyaka emi-2 ubudala.

Abantwana kunye nabantu abadala abatyebe kakhulu kwaye batyebe kakhulu basemngciphekweni omkhulu wokukhula kwengxaki zempilo ezingapheliyo ezifana noxinzelelo lwegazi, isifo sentliziyo, kunye nohlobo lweswekile yesi-2.

Kutheni ezinye iintsana zinzima kunezinye?

Ubungakanani bomntwana obunzima kwaye ukukhawuleza ukufumana ubunzima kuxhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi. Ayizizo zonke eziphantsi kolawulo lwakho. Ngamanye amaxesha ufuzo, kubandakanya nokuba bade kwaye ubunzima babazali buchaphazela njani ubungakanani kunye nobunzima bencinci yabo.

Umama udlala indima kubunzima bomntwana wakhe ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Umfazi okhulelweyo otyebe kakhulu, otyebe kakhulu, uyatshaya, okanye onesifo seswekile sokukhulelwa kunokwenzeka ukuba abe nosana olunobunzima obungaphezulu ekuzalweni okanye otyeba kakhulu kamva.

Ukongeza, olunye uphando lwango-2019 lubonisa ukuba abantwana abazalwa ngokwecandelo le-C elicwangcisiweyo banokuba namathuba aphezulu okutyeba kakhulu. Oku kunokuba ngenxa yokuba amathumbu ebhaktiriya awohlukile kunabasana abadlwengulwe kwilungu lobufazi. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba necandelo le-C kuhlala kungangoyena nobangela wokufumana ubunzima bomntwana.

Nokuba uncancisa usana lwakho okanye awunakho ukudlala indima kubunzima babo. Ngokwesiqhelo, umntwana oncanciswa kuphela uya kufumana ubunzima kumanqanaba acothayo kunosana olutyisiweyo okanye olondliweyo bobabini.

Idatha evela kuphononongo luka-2016 yafumanisa ukuba kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba ukondla umntwana wakho ubisi olungumgubo kuphela kunokubangela ukutyeba okuphezulu. Oku kubandakanya:

• Unethuba eliphezulu lokutyisa ubisi olungumgubo lweentsana, ngenxa yokuba ifumaneka ngokulula kunobisi lwebele.
• Umzali okanye umnakekeli kunokwenzeka ukuba aqhubeke nokondla ide ibe ibhotile ingenanto, nokuba umntwana sele egcwele.
• Abazali okanye abanonopheli banokuthi bongeze okusanhlamvu okanye umgubo ongaphezulu womgubo kunokuba kucetyiswa xa usenza ibhotile yosana.
• Sebenzisa ibhotile enkulu ukondla ubisi olungumgubo kungakhokelela ekutyeni kakhulu nasekufumaneni ubunzima.
• Ngamanye amaxesha abazali okanye abanonopheli basebenzisa ishedyuli engqongqo yokondla ngeebhotile endaweni yokuxhomekeka kwindlala.
• Abazali okanye abanonopheli banokuthi banike umntwana ibhotile yefomula yokuzihlaziya okanye yokulala.

Ezinye izinto ezinokukhokelela ekuzuzeni ubunzima bomntwana zibandakanya:

• Umntwana unikwa kwangoko ukutya okuqinileyo.
• Ukuba umntwana unikwa ukutya okukhawulezileyo okanye ukutya okusenziweyo.
• Ukuba umntwana unikwa incindi yeziqhamo okanye iziselo ezineswekile.
• Ukuba umntwana ulala kancinci.
• Ukuba umntwana unomabonwakude okanye iividiyo ezidlala kuzo.
• Ukuba usana okanye umntwana omncinane unikwa amashwamshwam amaninzi phakathi kwesidlo.
• Uhlobo lokutya kunye nokutya okuqinileyo okutyiswa umntwana.

Kufuneka wenze ntoni ukuba ukhathazekile?

Ukuba ukhathazekile malunga nokufumana ubunzima bomntwana wakho thetha kugqirha wabantwana. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ngekhe ube nanto yakuzikhathaza.

Umntwana ongaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-1 akufuneki abekwe kwimithwalo yokunciphisa ubunzima balo naluphi na uhlobo.

Ukuba ugqirha wakho ucebisa ukunciphisa ubunzima bokufumana ubunzima bomntwana wakho zininzi izinto onokuzenza ezinokuthi zenze umahluko. Oku kubandakanya:

• Ukuba uncancisa kunye nokuncancisa ubisi olungumgubo, zama ukuncancisa rhoqo.
• Zama ukuqhubeka nokuncancisa ixesha elide.
• Pompa ubisi lwakho lwebele ukuba awukwazi ukuncancisa ngalo lonke ixesha okanye ukuba umntwana wakho ukhetha ibhotile.
• Sebenzisa ibhotile encinci ukondla umntwana wakho.
• Qinisekisa imilinganiselo echanekileyo yefomula yomgubo xa usenza ibhotile yosana lwakho.
• Buza ugqirha wezilwanyana malunga nefomula efanelekileyo yomntwana wakho.
• Kuphephe ukongeza ukutya okuziinkozo ukukhulisa ubisi olungumgubo lweentsana.
• Nxibelelana nomntwana wakho ngokudlala, ukufunda, okanye ukumthambisa endaweni yokutya ixesha elide.
• Gwema ukunika umntwana wakho ibhotile ukuze uzihlaziye okanye ngexesha lokulala.
• Gwema ijusi yeziqhamo kunye nezinye iziselo ezineswekile.
• Kuphephe ukunika umntwana wakho ukutya okuqhubekileyo okunjengebhokisi, iisiriyeli ezineswekile kunye namashwamshwam.
• Kuphephe ukunika umntwana wakho ubisi oluninzi.
• Khetha amashwamshwam kunye nezidlo ngokutya okuninzi okuziinkozo, iziqhamo kunye nemifuno.
• Khuthaza ukutya okulula okusempilweni ngokuvumela kuphela umntwana wakho ukuba afumane amashwamshwam ngelixa ehleli etafileni nangamaxesha abekiweyo.
• Cwangcisa ukutya kunye namaqebengwana ukuze wazi ukuba umntwana wakho unokutya okunempilo okuninzi xa becela elinye iqebengwana okanye idizethi.
• Khuthaza intshukumo yemihla ngemihla kwaye uvumele usana lwakho ixesha lokuphonononga ilizwe labo.

Yise kude

Iintsana ziza kuzo zonke iimilo kunye nobukhulu. "Amanqatha abantwana" ahlala esempilweni kwaye aqhelekile kumntwana wakho omncinci. Uninzi lweentsana alutyeba nokuba lukhangeleka lutyebile. Ukuba ucinga ukuba ubunzima bomntwana wakho yinkxalabo, jonga kugqirha wabantwana.

Ezinye izinto ezinje ngemfuza, ukondla ubisi olungumgubo, kunye nemeko yekhaya lakho zinokukhokelela ekuzuzeni ubunzima bomntwana. Zininzi iindlela onokunceda ngazo umntwana wakho ukuba abe nobunzima obulinganiselweyo obuya kukhokelela kwimpilo entle ebuntwaneni bakhe nakwiminyaka yabantu abadala.