Inzululwazi Ithi Ubuhlobo Bungundoqo Kwimpilo Ehleli Nolonwabo

Umxholo

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Usapho kunye nabahlobo ziindidi ezimbini ezibalulekileyo zobudlelwane ebomini bakho, ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo. Kodwa xa kuziwa ekwenzeni ukuba wonwabe ngakumbi kwixesha elide, unokumangaliswa ukuba leliphi iqela elinamandla ngakumbi. Ngelixa amalungu osapho ebalulekile, xa kuziwa kwimpilo engcono kunye nolonwabo, bubuhlobo obenza umahluko omkhulu-ngakumbi njengoko usiya ukhula, ngokophando olutsha. (Fumanisa iindlela ezili-12 umhlobo wakho osenyongweni eyonyusa impilo yakho.)

Inqaku elipapashwe kwijenali Ubudlelwane bobuqu, eshwankathela ukufunyanwa kwezifundo ezibini ezinxulumene noko, ityhile ukuba ngelixa usapho kunye nabahlobo banegalelo kwimpilo nakulonwabo, bubudlelwane abantu abanabo nabahlobo obunefuthe elikhulu ebomini. Bebonke, bangaphezu kwama-278,000 abantu abakubudala obahlukahlukeneyo abasuka kumazwe amalunga ne-100 abaye benza uhlolisiso, belinganisa impilo nolonwabo lwabo. Ngokucacileyo, kwisifundo sesibini (esigxininise kubantu abadala, ngokukodwa), kwafunyaniswa ukuba xa abahlobo babengumthombo woxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo, abantu baxela izifo ezingapheliyo, ngelixa umntu eziva exhaswa bubuhlobo babo, bachaza imiba yezempilo encinci. kunye nolonwabo olwandisiweyo. (Njengokuba bakunceda usebenze ngokuzilolonga. Yep, ukuzilolonga nomhlobo kunokunyusa ukunyamezeleka kwentlungu yakho.) Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele, nangona kunjalo, ukuba abaphandi khange benze umgca ocacileyo phakathi kokubangela enye-aka. ukuphuma kunye nomhlobo wakho akuyi kukugula.

Ngoba? Konke kuza kukhetho, utsho uWilliam Chopik, Ph.D., umbhali wephepha kunye noprofesa kwiYunivesithi yaseMichigan State. Uthi: “Ndicinga ukuba oku kunokuthanani nohlobo olukhethayo lobuhlobo—sinokuhlala siphakathi kwabo sibathandayo size siphele kancinane kwabo singabathandiyo. "Sihlala sichitha ixesha lokuzonwabisa nabahlobo bethu, ngelixa ubudlelwane bosapho buhlala buba noxinzelelo, bube mbi, okanye bube lilolo."

Kuyenzeka ukuba abahlobo bazalise izikhewu ezishiyekileyo lusapho okanye banike inkxaso ngeendlela amalungu osapho angenako okanye angayi, wongeza. Abahlobo banokukuqonda kwinqanaba elahlukileyo kunosapho, ngenxa yamava ekwabelwana ngawo kunye nomdla. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ubudlelwane kunye nabahlobo bakudala okanye wenze iinzame zokunxibelelana kwakhona ukuba ulahlekelwe kukunxibelelana nodade wakho wobuntwana okanye udade wobugqwetha. Ngelixa utshintsho kubomi kunye nomgama kunokwenza oku kube nzima ngamanye amaxesha, izibonelelo kufanelekile kumzamo wokuthatha ifowuni okanye ukuthumela loo imeyile.

Ubuhlobo buphakathi kolwalamano olunzima kakhulu ukubugcina kulo lonke ixesha lokuphila, utshilo uChopik. "Inxalenye yoko inento yokwenza nokungabikho kwesibophelelo. Abahlobo bachitha ixesha kunye kuba befuna kwaye bekhetha, hayi kuba kunyanzelekile."

Ngombulelo kukho amanyathelo alula okugcina kunye nokomeleza ubuhlobo obubalulekileyo. UChopik ucebisa ukuba uqiniseke ukuba uyinxalenye yobomi bemihla ngemihla babahlobo bakho ngokwabelana ngempumelelo yabo kunye nokuncoma nokusilela kwabo-ngokusisiseko yiba yindlalifa kunye negxalaba lokuxhomekeka. Ukongeza, uthi ukwabelana kunye nokuzama imisebenzi emitsha kunye kuyanceda, njengokuba kunjalo nokuvakalisa umbulelo. Ukuxelela abantu ukuba uyabathanda kwaye uyabuxabisa ubukho babo ebomini bakho yinto encinci ukuyenza, kodwa inokwenza umahluko omkhulu kubomi bomntu wonke. Ngenxa yoko, kufuneka ubonakalise umbulelo kubo bobabini abahlobo kwaye usapho.

Akukho nanye koku kuthetha usapho ayibalulekanga, kodwa kunokuba ubuhlobo bunika izibonelelo ezizodwa, kwaye kufuneka uthathe ixesha ukondla obu budlelwane obukhethekileyo. Ewe sikunika ubungqina besayensi obufuna ukuba ubusuku baphume, STAT.

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