UGabourey Sidibe Uvula malunga neMfazwe yakhe neBulimia kunye noxinzelelo kwiMemoir eNtsha

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

UGabourey Sidibe uye waba lilizwi elinamandla eHollywood xa kuziwa kwi-positivity yomzimba-kwaye uhlala evuleleka malunga nendlela ubuhle obumalunga nokuzibona. Ngelixa ngoku esaziwa ngokuzithemba kwakhe okuchaphazelayo kunye nesimo sakhe sengqondo sokunganikezeli (imeko inqaku: impendulo yakhe engummangaliso kwintengiso yakhe yeLane Bryant), umdlali weqonga oneminyaka engama-34 ubonakalisa icala lakhe elingazange labonwa ngaphambili. kwimemori yakhe entsha, Obu BuBuso Bam Nje: Zama ukungaJongi.

Kunye nokuveza ukuba wenziwa utyando lokunciphisa ubunzima, umtyunjwa we-Oscar wavula ngomzabalazo wakhe nempilo yengqondo kunye nengxaki yokutya.

"Nantsi into malunga nonyango kwaye kutheni ibaluleke kangaka," ubhala kwimemori yakhe. "Ndiyamthanda umama, kodwa zininzi kakhulu ebendingakwazi ukuthetha naye. Andizange ndikwazi ukumxelela ukuba andikwazi kuyeka ukukhala kwaye ndicaphukela yonke into ngam." (Phuma Abantu Isicatshulwa esivela kwincwadi yeaudio.)

"Xa ndandiqala ukumxelela ukuba ndidandathekile, wandihleka. Ngokwenyani. Hayi kuba eyindoda eyoyikekayo, kodwa kuba ecinga ukuba yinto yokuhlekisa leyo," uqhubeke watsho. "Kwenzeka njani ukuba ndingaziva ngcono ndindedwa, njengaye, njengabahlobo bakhe, njengabantu abaqhelekileyo? Ke ndihlala ndicinga ngeengcinga zam ezibuhlungu malunga nokufa."

USidibe uqhubeka evuma ukuba ubomi bakhe bathatha indawo embi kakhulu xa wayeqala ikholeji. Kunye nokoyika, wayeka ukutya, ngamanye amaxesha engatyi kangangeentsuku.

Ubhala athi: “Ndandihlala ndidakumbile kangangokuba ndingade ndiyeke ukukhala, ndisele iglasi yamanzi ndize nditye iqhekeza lesonka. "Emva kokuba ndenze, andizange ndibuhlungu; ekugqibeleni ndakhululeka. Ngoko andizange ndidle nantoni na, de ndifune ukulahla-kwaye kuphela xa ndenza ukuba ndingaziphazamisa kuyo nayiphi na ingcamango eyayijikeleza intloko yam.

Akuzange kube kamva emva koko uSidibe waguqukela kwingcali kwezempilo eyamfumanisa ukuba unoxinzelelo kunye ne-bulimia emva kokuba evumile ukuba uneengcinga zokuzibulala, uyachaza.

"Ndifumene ugqirha ndamxelela konke okungahambi kakuhle kum. Bendingasoze ndiluphelise lonke uluhlu ngaphambili, kodwa njengoko ndizivile, bendinokuyiqonda into yokuba ukujongana nale nto ngokwam ngokuqinisekileyo bekungasekho kukhetha," uyabhala. "Ugqirha wandibuza ukuba ndifuna ukuzibulala. Ndathi," Meh, okwangoku. Kodwa xa ndenza njalo, ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kuyenza njani. "

"Bendingoyiki ukufa, kwaye ukuba bekukho iqhosha ebendinokulicofa ukuze ndicime ubukho bam emhlabeni, bendiya kulityhiliza kuba bekuya kuba lula kwaye kungangxoli kunokuba ndizicaphukise. Ngokutsho kukagqirha, ibanele loo nto. "

Ukusukela ngoko, uSidibe ubeke inzame ezininzi kulawulo lwempilo yakhe yengqondo ngokuya kunyango rhoqo kunye nokuthatha i-anti-depressants, wabelana ngememo.

Ukuvula malunga nemizabalazo yobuqu enjengengqondo akusokuze kube lula. U-Sidibe kufanelekile ukuba akhwaze kakhulu ngokudlala indima yakhe ekususeni ibala elijikeleze umba (isizathu sokuba abanye oosaziwayo njengoKristen Bell noDemi Lovato nabo bathethe nje ngoku.) ngeengxaki zempilo yengqondo kwaye ubazise ukuba abodwa.

Uphengululo lwe