Amabali okuBuyisa i-HIV: Ukufikelela ekungafumanekiyo

Umxholo

• Ukuxilongwa
• Ngaba inokuba mbi ngakumbi?
• Ukuba nditshotshozele, ndiyakubona ukukhanya
• Entsha kum
• Ayibonakali = Ayinakuthunyelwa (U = U)

Andisoze ndiyilibale imini yokufunyaniswa kwam ukuba ndine-HIV. Okwangoku ndakuva la mazwi, "Ndiyaxolisa Jennifer, kuvavanyiwe ukuba unayo i-HIV," yonke into yaphela ebumnyameni. Ubomi endihlala ndibazi babhubha ngephanyazo.

Ndingoyena mncinci kubathathu, Ndazalwa ndakhulela eCarlifonia entle enelanga ngumama ongatshatanga. Ndandinomntwana owonwabileyo noqhelekileyo, ndaphumelela kwikholeji, ndaza ndaba ngumama ongatshatanga wabathathu.

Kodwa ubomi batshintsha emva kokufunyaniswa kwam ukuba ndine-HIV. Ngokukhawuleza ndaziva ndineentloni, ndizisola, kwaye ndisoyika.

Ukutshintsha iminyaka kwebala kufana nokucofa intaba ngothotho lwamazinyo. Namhlanje, ndizama ukunceda abanye ukuba babone ukuba yintoni i-HIV nokuba ayisiyiyo.

Ukufikelela kwindawo engabonakaliyo kwandibeka kulawulo lobomi bam kwakhona. Ukungabonakali kubonakala kunika abantu abaphila ne-HIV intsingiselo entsha kunye nethemba ebelingenakwenzeka ngaphambili.

Nantsi into eyenzileyo ukuze ndifike, kwaye ukungabonakali kubonakala kum.

Ukuxilongwa

Ngexesha lokuxilongwa kwam, ndandineminyaka engama-45 ubudala, ubomi babumnandi, abantwana bam babelungile, kwaye ndandisemathandweni. Intsholongwane kaGawulayo soze yangena engqondweni yam. Ukutsho ukuba umhlaba wam ubhukuqiwe ujonge phantsi kwangoko kukungazichazi zonke izinto ezingaphantsi.

Ndiwabambile amagama ndamkele phantse ngokukhawuleza ukuba ulusu aluvaleli kuba iimvavanyo azixoki. Ndidinga iimpendulo kuba bendigula iiveki. Ndacinga ukuba luhlobo oluthile lwezidlelekazi zaselwandle ezivela elwandle. Ndacinga ukuba ndiwazi kakuhle umzimba wam.

Ukuva ukuba i-HIV yayisesona sizathu sokubila kwam ebusuku, umkhuhlane, iintlungu emzimbeni, isicaphucaphu, kunye ne-thrush kwenza ukuba iimpawu ziqine kwinyani eyoyikisayo yayo yonke loo nto. Ndenze ntoni ukuze ndifumane le?

Into endandiyicinga yayikukuba yonke into endandiyimele njengomama, utitshala, intombi, nayo yonke into endandiyithemba yayingeyiyo le indifaneleyo kuba i-HIV yiyo endichazayo ngoku.

Ngaba inokuba mbi ngakumbi?

Malunga neentsuku ezintlanu emva kokufunyaniswa kwam, ndafunda ukuba ubalo lwam lwe-CD4 lwaluku-84. Uluhlu oluqhelekileyo luphakathi kwama-500 no-1,500. Ndafunda nokuba ndinenyumoniya kunye noGawulayo. Le yayiyenye inqindi lokufunxa, kunye nomnye umqobo ekujonganeni nawo.

Ngokwasemzimbeni, ndandibuthathaka kakhulu kwaye ngandlela thile kwakufuneka ndiqokelele amandla okulawula ubunzima bengqondo yento eyayiphoswa kum.

Elinye lamagama okuqala elafika engqondweni yam kwakamsinya emva kokuba ndifumene isifo sikaGawulayo yayingamampunge. Ndatsho ndaphosa izandla zam phezulu emoyeni ndayihleka impambano yento eyayisenzeka ebomini bam. Le yayingelilo icebo lam.

Ndifuna ukubonelela abantwana bam kwaye ndibenobudlelwane obude, obunothando, kunye nokwabelana ngesondo kunye nesoka lam. Isithandwa sam sivavanywe singenayo, kodwa bekungacaci kum ukuba ikhona na le nto enokwenzeka xa uphila ne-HIV.

Ikamva alaziwa. Konke endinokukwenza kukugxila kwinto endinokuyilawula, kwaye oko kwakuba ngcono.

Ukuba nditshotshozele, ndiyakubona ukukhanya

Ingcali yam ye-HIV inikezele ngala mazwi ethemba ngexesha lokuqeshwa kwam okokuqala: "Ndiyathembisa ukuba le iyakuba yinto ekudala ingaziwa." Ndabambelela ngokuqinileyo kulawo mazwi ngexesha lokuchacha kwam. Ngethamo ngalinye elitsha lamayeza, ngokuthe ngcembe ndaziva ndiziva ndibhetele kwaye ndingcono.

Ndingalindelanga kum, njengokuba umzimba wam waphola, neentloni zam zaqala ukuphakama. Umntu endandihlala ndimazi waqala ukuvela kwakhona kumothuko kunye noxinzelelo lokuchongwa kwam kunye nokugula.

Ndacinga ukuba ukuziva ndigula kungayinxalenye yesohlwayo ngenxa yokosulelwa yi-HIV, nokuba ibivela kwintsholongwane uqobo okanye kumachiza e-antiretroviral ekufuneka ndiwathathe ngoku. Nokuba yeyiphi indlela, andikaze ndicinge ukuba eqhelekileyo iya kuba yindlela kwakhona.

Entsha kum

Xa ufunyaniswe une-HIV, ukhawuleza ufunde ukuba ubalo lwe-CD4, imithwalo yentsholongwane, kunye neziphumo ezingafumanekiyo ngamagama amatsha oza kuwasebenzisa ubomi bakho bonke. Sifuna ukuba ii-CD4s zethu ziphezulu kwaye imithwalo yethu yentsholongwane iphantsi, kwaye into engafumanekiyo yinto esiyifunayo. Oku kuthetha ukuba inqanaba lentsholongwane egazini lethu liphantsi kakhulu alinakufunyanwa.

Ngokuthatha i-antiretroviral yam yonke imihla kunye nokufumana imeko engabonakaliyo, ngoku kwakuthetha ukuba ndilawula kwaye le ntsholongwane yayingandihambisi nge-leash yayo.

Ubume obungabonakaliyo yinto yokubhiyozela. Kuthetha ukuba amayeza akho ayasebenza kwaye impilo yakho ayisaphazamiseki yi-HIV. Ungabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kwekhondomu ukuba ukhetha ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngokudlulisela intsholongwane kwiqabane lakho owabelana nalo ngesondo.

Ukungafumaneki kwakuthetha ukuba ndim kwakhona-omtsha kum.

Andiziva ngathi i-HIV iqhuba inqanawa yam. Ndiziva ndilawulwa ngokupheleleyo. Oko kukhulula ngokumangalisayo xa uphila nentsholongwane ethathe ubomi obungaphezulu kwezigidi ezingama-32 ukusukela oko kwaqala ubhubhane.

Ayibonakali = Ayinakuthunyelwa (U = U)

Kubantu abaphila ne-HIV, ukungabonakali yinto efanelekileyo yezempilo. Ikwathetha ukuba awungekhe uhambise intsholongwane kwiqabane lakho lokwabelana ngesondo. Olu lwazi olutshintsha umdlalo olunokunciphisa ukubekwa ibala ngelishwa lisekhona nanamhlanje.

Ekupheleni kosuku, i-HIV yintsholongwane nje- intsholongwane eyoyikisayo. Ngamachiza akhoyo namhlanje, sinokuziqhenya ngokubonisa ukuba i-HIV ayikho nje imeko engalawulekiyo. Kodwa ukuba siyaqhubeka siyivumela ukuba isenze sizive sinentloni, uloyiko, okanye uhlobo oluthile lokohlwaya, i-HIV iyaphumelela.

Emva kweminyaka engama-35 yobhubhane osebenza ixesha elide emhlabeni, ayiloxesha lokuba uhlanga loluntu ekugqibeleni lubethe lo mntu ungcungcuthekisayo? Ukubeka wonke umntu ophila nentsholongwane kaGawulayo kwindawo engabonakaliyo sesona sicwangciso-qhinga sethu. Ndiliqela elingabonakaliyo kude kube sekupheleni!

UJennifer Vaughan ngummeli we-HIV + kunye ne-vlogger. Ngolwazi oluthe kratya kwibali lakhe le-HIV kunye ne-vlogs zemihla ngemihla ngobomi bakhe abane-HIV, unokumlandela YouTube kwaye I-Instagram, kwaye axhase ukuthethelela kwakhe Apha.