Indlela yokoyisa ezona meko zinzima zoBomi

Umxholo

• Vumela Iimvakalelo Zilawule
• Zondle
• Qaphela Ingqondo Yakho Idlala Imidlalo
• Kuphephe Ukubaxa Izinto
• Funda kwixa elidlulileyo
• Cinga ngokufanelekileyo
• Nika Ixesha
• Uphengululo lwe

"Yilibale." Ingcebiso ye-trite ibonakala ngathi ilula, kodwa ngumzabalazo wokubeka iimeko ezinje ngoqhawulo-mtshato olukhohlakeleyo, umhlobo ozibambayo, okanye ukuswelekelwa ngumntu omthandayo ngaphambili. "Xa into ikwenze buhlungu ngokweemvakalelo, kunokuba nzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka," utshilo uRachel Sussman, ingcali kwezobudlelwane kunye nombhali. Ukwahlukana kweBhayibhile. "Ezi ziganeko zinokubangela imiba emikhulu yengqondo, enokuthatha ixesha elide ukudibanisa."

Kunzima njengoko kunokuba nzima ukwenza izinto, kufanelekile, kwimpilo yakho yengqondo kunye nomzimba. "Ukubambelela kwiimvakalelo ezingalunganga kukhokelela kuxinzelelo olungapheliyo nokudakumba, ezo zifundo zidibanise nokuzuza ubunzima, ukwanda komngcipheko wesifo sentliziyo, kunye nezinye iingxaki zempilo," utshilo uCynthia Ackrill, MD, ugqirha oyingcali kwi-neuroscience kunye nolawulo loxinzelelo.

Ke thatha umoya onzulu kwaye ulungele ukuyeka umthwalo wakho weemvakalelo. Ngelixa ukoyisa ubunzima yinkqubo eyahlukileyo kwaye iyahluka kuye wonke umntu, ezi zicwangciso zinokujika nayiphi na indlela engummangaliso ibe lithuba lokukhula.

Vumela Iimvakalelo Zilawule

Ingcinga

Iintsuku zokuqala emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu sinamandla emzimbeni, engqondweni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya, utshilo u-Ackrill, kwaye sonke sisabela ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Zinike ixesha lokungxola, ulile, uzisongele kwisikhundla sokukhula, kwaye uzive ukuba wenza ntoni ngaphandle komgwebo. Isilumkiso: Ukuba emva kweeveki ezimbalwa usaqhubeka nokuphelelwa lithemba, uzive ungenathemba, okanye ucinga ngokuzibulala, lixesha lokuba ufune uncedo lobuchwephesha kwezengqondo.

Zondle

Ingcinga

Xa ujongene nemeko yoxinzelelo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba uzikhathalele kwaye wenze ukulala, ukutya okusempilweni, kunye nokwenza umthambo kuqala. “Ezo zinto ziya kukunika amandla okucinga kakuhle kwaye usebenze kule meko,” utshilo u-Ackrill, esongeza ukuba ukusebenza ngaphandle kuya kunceda ukukhulula amandla axhalabileyo kunye nokukhulula i-endorphins eziva kamnandi. [Tweet le ngcebiso!]

Uvelwano oluncinci luyimfuneko nalo. “Abantu abaninzi badla ngokuzibek’ ityala ngeziganeko ezilishwa, besenza mandundu ukuziva benetyala nezinye iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo,” utshilo uSussman. Ngelixa kufuneka uthathe uxanduva ngezenzo zakho, khumbula ukuba ibingenguye kuphela umdlali kule meko. Zama ukungacingi, "Bendifanele ukuba ndenze ngcono," kodwa endaweni yoko zixelele, "ndenze konke okusemandleni am."

Qaphela Ingqondo Yakho Idlala Imidlalo

Ingcinga

"Kanye emva kwentshukumo, ingqondo yakho idlala zonke iintlobo zamaqhinga kuwe kwaye inokukwenza uzive ngathi ungakuphelisa okwenzekileyo," utshilo u-Ackrill. Ngaphambi kokuba utsalele umnxeba kwi-ex yakho ukuba idibanise kwaye iphinde idibanise okanye ithumele i-imeyile kumqeshi womsebenzi ukuze imqinisekise ukuba wenze impazamo ngokungakuqeshi, thatha ikhefu lengqondo kwaye uqaphele ukuba ingqondo yakho ijikeleza ezi ngcinga zingenangqondo. Inokukunceda ukuyibhala phantsi ukuze uphinde ufunde iiyure kamva. Ukubona iingcinga zakho ephepheni kuyanyanzela ukuba ujonge into ekuxelelwa yingqondo ukuze ubuze ukuba ezo ngcinga ziyinyani na okanye ziimvakalelo zakho nje ezithethayo, utshilo u-Ackrill. Buza ukuba zeziphi iinjongo ezisebenza ziingcinga: ukulungisa umcimbi okanye ukwenza inkqubela phambili kuwo?

Kuphephe Ukubaxa Izinto

Ingcinga

Ukuze udlule kwimeko enzima, kufuneka uqale uqonde ukuba yintoni na eneneni ekucinezelayo. "Amaxesha amaninzi okubangela ukuphazamiseka ngokweemvakalelo ayisosiganeko ngokwaso-luloyiko lokuba umsitho ubangele ukuba ube, njengokuthi," Ndanele? okanye 'Ngaba ndilifanele uthando?' "utshilo u-Ackrill.

Kuba iingqondo zethu zinentambo yokuba zithathele ingqalelo izoyikiso ngezizathu zokusinda, iingqondo zethu zithambekele kukungakhathali. [Tweet this fact!] Ke xa sikhathazekile, kulula kakhulu ukuphazamisa amaxhala ethu: "Ndiphelelwe ngumsebenzi" kunokuba lula ukuba "andisokuze ndiphinde ndisebenze," ngelixa uqhawulo-mtshato lunokubangela ukuba ucinge, "Akukho mntu uya kuphinda andithande kwakhona."

Phambi kokuba ungene ngegaloni ye-mocha fudge ice cream, yazi ukuba ingqondo yakho itsibela ekubaxeni kwaye zibuze: Ngubani endifuna ukuba kule meko, ixhoba okanye umntu oyithatha ngobabalo kwaye afune ukukhula? Kananjalo khumbula ukutshatyalaliswa kwangaphambili osindileyo kwaye ucinge ukuba ungazisebenzisa njani izakhono ozifundileyo ukuze uphumelele kule meko.

Funda kwixa elidlulileyo

Ingcinga

Xa ucaphuka ngenxa yokuphulukana nento, nokuba ngumsebenzi, ubuhlobo, nokuba yindawo yokuhlala ephupha, zibuze: Luhlobo luni lolindelo ebendinalo? "Ingqondo yethu iza namabali anethemba kakhulu ngeemeko," utshilo u-Ackrill. Kodwa le ngcinga ayiyonyani kwaye ayinabulungisa kuwe nangomnye umntu.

Ukuzinceda ukuba uzilungiselele ngcono kwixesha elizayo, jonga into oyidinga ngokwenene kulwalamano, umsebenzi, okanye ubuhlobo, kwaye uhlengahlengise izinto ozilindeleyo. “Cinga ubunzima obudlulileyo njengophando,” ucebisa njalo uAckrill. "Ekugqibeleni uya kukwazi ukujonga ngasemva kwaye uqaphele into oyifundileyo kobo budlelwane okanye ukuba umphathi ombi." Mhlawumbi kufuneka uphuhlise izakhono ezithile, nokuba kukufunda indlela yokunxibelelana ngcono okanye ukuqonda inkqubo entsha yekhompyuter, ukuze uzive unamandla ngakumbi kwixesha elizayo.

Cinga ngokufanelekileyo

Ingcinga

Ingavakala ngathi yenzelwe into, kodwa kuyo nayiphi na imeko enzima, ungalibali ukuba uza kuyigqiba le nto ekugqibeleni. "Ukuba uziva ukuba izinto zizakuphucuka ngokuhamba kwexesha, izokunceda kwelona xesha linzima," utshilo uSussman. Ukuba umntu oza kutshata naye ukhohlisile, yazi ukuba uya kudibana nendoda ethembekileyo nenothando kwakhona. Okanye ukuba uphelelwe ngumsebenzi, uya kufumana omnye umsebenzi onomvuzo. Umgca ongezantsi: Jonga ngokuqaqambileyo kwikamva, nokuba ithini na imeko yakho ngoku.

Nika Ixesha

Ingcinga

Xa kufikwa kwizinto ezinkulu-ukuxilongwa kwesigulo, ukusweleka kwelungu losapho, ingozi yemoto-akukho kwaphela isincomo esilingana nesinye, utshilo uSussman. Izinto ezimbini ezihlala zinceda, nangona kunjalo, yinkxaso yentlalo kunye nexesha.

Unokukhetha ukuba wedwa ekuqaleni, kwaye uye phambili kwaye wonwabele "ixesha lam", qiniseka ukuba ekugqibeleni uvumela abahlobo kunye namalungu osapho ukuba banike uthando lwabo. "Ukuba wedwa ixesha elide akunampilo, kwaye unxibelelwano lwasentlalweni lukunceda uzive ungcono ekugqibeleni," utshilo u-Ackrill.

Emva koko yiba nomonde. "Njengokusikwa okanye ukukrala, inxeba leemvakalelo Ngaba ekugqibeleni uphilise ngokuhamba kwexesha, utshilo.

Uphengululo lwe