Iindlela ezi-5 zokuxhasa umntu omthandayo osokola nokudakumba

Umxholo

• 1. Fumana imfundo
• 2. Ziqhelise ukuzinyamekela
• 3. Babuze ukuba bafuna ntoni na
• 4. Musa ukuba ngumthombo wenkxaso kuphela
• 5. Musa ukugxeka okanye ugwebe
• Uphengululo lwe

Ukuba ufana nabafazi abaninzi, ufuna abantu obathandayo ukuba babone ezona ndawo zibalaseleyo kuwe. Ngexesha lobuntwana bam, umama wenza kanye loo nto. Wayifihla yonke imingeni yakhe kuthi-kuquka ukulwa kwakhe nokudakumba. Ebeyinto yam yonke. Kuphela kuxa ndafikelela ebuntwini obukhulu endathi ekugqibeleni ndaqalisa ukuyiqonda le nxalenye yakhe wayeyifihlile-yaye indima yakhe yajikwa.

Njengomntu omdala, ndandibukela njengokuba ukudandatheka kukamama kuya kusiba nzima ukulawula. Ekugqibeleni wazama ukuthatha ubomi bakhe, kwaye akukho namnye kusapho lwam owayibonayo isiza. Ukulandela ilinge lakhe, ndaziva ndilahlekile, ndinomsindo kwaye ndididekile. Ngaba kukhona into endiyiphosileyo? Ndingathini ukungaziqondi ukuba izinto zinje lonto imbi? Yeyiphi enye into ebendinokuyenza ukumnceda? Ndizamene nale mibuzo ixesha elide. Bendifuna ukwazi ukuba ikhona na into ebendinokuyenza ngokwahlukileyo. Nam bendifuna ukwazi ukuba kufuneka ndenze ntoni ukuya phambili. Ndandisoyika ukuba angaphinda azibone ekule ndawo imnyama.

Kule minyaka emva kokuzama ukuzibulala, bendisoloko ndingumthombo wenkxaso kumama wam, ndimnceda ukuba alawule impilo yakhe yengqondo kunye nomzimba. Nangona kunjalo, nangona wabethwa yistroke, umhlaza, kunye neminye imicimbi yezempilo, impilo yakhe yengqondo ihlala ingoyena mceli mngeni. Yinto ebangela ukuba sobabini eyona ntlungu.

Kwi-2015, i-6.7 ipesenti yabantu abadala base-US babenesiganeko esisodwa esikhulu sokudakumba, ngokutsho kweNational Institute of Mental Health. Kwaye ukuxhasa umntu omthandayo ngokudakumba akusoloko kulula. Usenokuba nobunzima ekucingeni into omawuyithethe okanye uyenze. Ndizamile ukuyenza loo nto ixesha elide. Ndandifuna ukuba lapho kuye, kodwa ndandingaqinisekanga ukuba njani. Kamva, ndaqonda ukuba ndifanele funda ukuba lapho kuye.

Ukuba umntu omthandayo unengxaki yokudakumba, nanga amacebiso ambalwa okukhokela indlela.

1. Fumana imfundo

"Awunakho ukusombulula ingxaki de ube uyazi ukuba yintoni ingxaki, ke ngoko ukucacisa lo mbandela kunceda kakhulu," utshilo uBergina Isbell, MD, ugqirha wengqondo oqinisekiswe yibhodi. "Ukuchonga ukuba ngaba nje ukuba ne-blues ngaphezulu kokuphoxeka, usizi malunga nomntu omthandayo olahlekileyo, okanye uxinzelelo lweklinikhi lunokuchaphazela indlela yakho." Ke, okokuqala nokuphambili, "fumanisa ngakumbi malunga nokuba yintoni ephazamisa umhlobo wakho okanye umntu omthandayo," utshilo. Ukuba luxinzelelo lweklinikhi, ukuzifundisa kubalulekile, utshilo u-Indira Maharaj-Walls, LMSW. Abantu ngokubanzi bacinga ukudakumba njengosizi oluhlala luhleli, kodwa kaninzi abayiqondi indlela olusebenza ngayo ukudakumba nokuba kulucelomngeni kangakanani ukulwa; ulwazi luya kunceda ukuphepha iingcamango eziphosakeleyo kwaye kukuvumela ukuba unikeze inkxaso engakumbi, uMaharaj-Walls uthi.

Umbutho woxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo eMelika ngowona mthombo wolwazi. Ugqirha Isbell ukwacebisa iMental Health America ngolwazi oluthe kratya malunga nokudakumba, usizi kunye nezinye izixhobo zokufunda ngempilo yengqondo. (Idibeneyo: Ngaba uyazi ukuba kukho iintlobo ezi-4 ezahlukeneyo zoxinzelelo?)

2. Ziqhelise ukuzinyamekela

"Ukukhathalela umntu ojongene noxinzelelo kuyadakumba," utshilo ugqirha wengqondo uMayra Figueroa-Clark, weLCSW. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba uyakwazi ukuziqhelanisa nokuzikhathalela rhoqo, uqhagamshelwe kuluntu lwabantu abanengqondo efanayo, kwaye uyazi ukuba nini ukuthi "hayi" ngokwenene. Kaninzi ibalulekile kunokuba ucinga, ucacisa uFigueroa-Clark. Xa sifuna ukunceda abantu esibathandayo, kuqhelekile ukuba singazihoyi iintswelo zethu. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukuze unike umntu omthandayo uncedo ngokwenyani, kufuneka ubengowakho-okuthetha ukuzikhathalela ngokwakho xa ulufuna. (Idibeneyo: Ulenza njani ixesha lokuziKhathalela xa ungekho)

3. Babuze ukuba bafuna ntoni na

Nangona ukubuza umntu oko akufunayo kubonakala kulula ngokwaneleyo, kudla ngokungakhathalelwa ngabahlobo abafuna ukunceda. Inyaniso kukuba, unokunikela ngeyona nkxaso ilungileyo ngokubuza nje umntu omthandayo oko akufunayo. Kwelinye icala, ubume bokugula kwabo bunokwenza ukuba bangaqinisekanga ngento eza kubanceda, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, banokunika ingqiqo malunga nokuba yintoni na eluncedo kwaye yintoni engenzakaliyo,” utshilo uGlenna Anderson, LCSW. Kuya kufuneka unike umntu omthandayo isithuba sokunyaniseka kunye nawe malunga nezinto abazifunayo kwaye ukulungele ukwenza, nokuba kunjalo wena musa ukucinga ukuba ixabisekile okanye yintoni obuya kuyidinga kwimeko efanayo, Anderson uyacacisa. Buza imibuzo kwaye uya kuba nakho ukubonelela ngezinto ezifuneka kakhulu.

4. Musa ukuba ngumthombo wenkxaso kuphela

Kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, xa ngokwenene ndaqalisa ukuqonda ukuntsonkotha kodandatheko lukamama, ndaqonda ukuba ndandisiba kuphela komthombo wenkxaso yakhe. Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba eli lungiselelo lalingenampilo kuthi sobabini. “Qwalasela amaqela enkxaso ngeNational Alliance on Mental Illness,” utsho uGqr. Isbell. Banikezela ngamaqela eentsapho ukuba bazifundise malunga nesifo sengqondo kunye namaqela oontanga abo bajongene nokudakumba ukunceda ukuqalisa inkqubo yokufumana uncedo, uDkt Isbell uyachaza. Kufuneka kwakhona ube noluntu lwabahlobo kunye nosapho olunokukunceda ukuxhasa lowo umthandayo. Cwangcisa intlanganiso kwaye ubone ukuba abanye bayafumaneka ukuba benze izinto ezincinci, utshilo uFigueroa-Clark. Yonke into esuka ekuhloleni ngefowuni ukulungiselela ukutya kunceda xa kuziwa ekuxhaseni umhlobo onzima, uFigueroa-Clark uyachaza. Khumbula nje ukuba akufuneki ube nguwe wedwa umntu obonelela ngale nkxaso. Nokuba umntu olwa noxinzelelo ngumzali okanye iqabane lakho, awunyanzelekanga ukuba ukwenze wedwa oku. Vula kwaye ufumaneke ukumamela, kodwa ulungelelanise oku kunye nokuzimisela ukubanceda bafikelele kuncedo lobungcali, utshilo uGqirha Isbell.

5. Musa ukugxeka okanye ugwebe

Ukugxeka okanye ukuwisa isigwebo kudla ngokwenzeka ngempazamo, kodwa kubangela umonakalo omkhulu. Ungaze ugxeke okanye unciphise iimvakalelo zabo njengoko oku kuthanda ukwenza izinto zibe mandundu,” utshilo uMaharaj-Walls. Endaweni yoko, jolisa ekubonakaliseni uvelwano. Xa uthatha ixesha ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomnye umntu, loo mntu uya kukujonga njengomthombo okhuselekileyo wothando nenkxaso. Oku akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uvumelane nokhetho abalwenzileyo, kodwa kuya kufuneka ubanike indawo yokuba sesichengeni ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngempendulo engeyiyo evela kuwe, utshilo. UGqr Isbell uthi: "Mamela ngendlebe enovelwano." "Ubomi bomhlobo wakho bunokubukeka bugqibelele ngaphandle, kodwa awuyazi into abaye bajongana nayo ngaphambili okanye bajongana nayo ngoku." Izinto azisoloko zibonakala zibonakala, ngoko ke nikela ngenkxaso ngaphandle kokugxekwa.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omthandayo uxinezelekile kwaye ucinga ngokuzibulala, tsalela umnxeba iNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Uphengululo lwe