Uhlukane kanjani nomnye umntu, nokuba izinto zinzima kangakanani

Umxholo

• Ukuba kusekho uthando phakathi kwenu
• Lungiselela iimvakalelo ezinamandla kumacala omabini
• Yiba nesicwangciso sokwenza indawo
• Beka imida ecacileyo
• Ukuba nihlala kunye
• Yiba nesicwangciso sokuhamba esilungeleyo
• Ngubani oza kuhlala?
• Misela ishedyuli eshukumayo
• Xoxa ngezilwanyana zasekhaya ekwabelwana ngazo
• Zama ukushiya iimvakalelo kuyo
• Xa abantwana bebandakanyeka
• Ukuba ulwalamano olude
• Khetha indlela ngobulumko
• Musa ukulinda ixesha elide
• Nika isilumkiso
• Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala zihlobo
• Ukuba ulwalamano oluninzi
• Ukwahlukana neqabane elinye
• Ukushiya i-triad okanye iqela elizimeleyo
• Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuhlukumeza
• Bandakanya abanye abantu
• Cwangcisa kwaye ulungiselele
• Yima kwisigqibo sakho
• Ukuba iqabane lakho lisongela ukuzenzakalisa
• Tsalela umnxeba kwindawo yogcino
• Lungiselela uncedo
• Ukufumana amagama
• Umzekelo wencoko
• Izinto zokuphepha
• Ukusasaza ukwahlukana kuFacebook
• Ukujonga kubo
• Ukugxeka okanye ukugxeka
• Imibala enesiporho

Nokuba ungazidayisa njani, ukwahlukana kubi. Kuyinyani nokuba izinto ziphela ngokwentelekiso entle.

Elinye lawona macandelo anzima okwahlukana kukucinga nje ukuba ungayenza njani. Ngaba kufuneka uchaze indlela oqiqa ngayo okanye ubasindise iinkcukacha? Kuthekani ukuba kukho ubunzima obongezelelekileyo bokuhlala kunye?

Funda malunga neengcebiso ezinokukunceda ukunciphisa inkqubo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo.

Ukuba kusekho uthando phakathi kwenu

Ngamanye amaxesha, kungafuneka wohlukane nomntu osamthandayo. Oku kunokuba nzima kakhulu, kodwa kukho izinto onokuzenza ukwenza ukuba kube lula kuwo wonke umntu obandakanyekayo.

Lungiselela iimvakalelo ezinamandla kumacala omabini

Kulula ukuzisonga ugxile kwindlela yokunciphisa iintlungu zomnye umntu ngexesha lokwahlukana, ngakumbi ukuba usabathanda.

Kukwabalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba kwenzeka njani uza uzive emva koko. Kunokubakho into yokukhululeka nje ukuba kugqityiwe, kodwa ungaziva ulusizi okanye usizi. Nika abahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nosapho iintloko ukuze ufune inkxaso eyongezelelweyo kwiintsuku ezizayo.

Yiba nesicwangciso sokwenza indawo

Kungabonakala kuyindalo ukuhlala kufutshane nomntu osamthandayo, kwanasemva kokwahlukana. Kodwa kulunge ngokubanzi ukwenza umgama othile, ubuncinci okwethutyana. Oku kunokukunceda nina nobabini nize ekupheleni kobudlelwane, sebenze ngeemvakalelo ezinzima, kwaye uqalise inkqubo yokuphilisa.

UKatherine Parker, i-LMFTA, icebisa ukuseta ixesha elingenakunxibelelana. "Ndicebisa iinyanga ezi-1 ukuya kwezi-3," utshilo. "Oku kunika umntu ngamnye obandakanyekayo ixesha lokulungisa iimvakalelo zakhe, ajonge kuye, kwaye angabanjwa kumjikelo wokuphendula kwiimvakalelo zomnye malunga nokwahlukana."

Ukuba abantwana bayabandakanyeka, kuya kufuneka unxibelelane ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa bambelela kwizihloko ezinxulumene nomntwana kuphela.

Beka imida ecacileyo

Nje ukuba nahlukane, setha imida kwaye uqiniseke ukuba nobabini niyayiqonda.

Imida iya kuxhomekeka kwimeko yakho, kodwa inokubandakanya izinto ezinje ngokuvuma:

• bangabizi okanye babhalelane imiyalezo
• hambelana ngokwamaqela amakhulu abahlobo, kodwa hayi nanye
• bangaphenduli kwizithuba zemidiya yoluntu yomnye nomnye

Siphephe isilingo sokophula le mida, nokuba ibonakala ingenabungozi. Ukuya ngapha nangapha kuya kuyolula inkqubo kwaye kuyenze ibe buhlungu ngakumbi.

Ukuba nihlala kunye

Ukwahlukana neqabane elihlala kulo kuzisa imiceli mngeni yalo.

Yiba nesicwangciso sokuhamba esilungeleyo

Nje ukuba wazi ukuba ufuna ukwahlukana, thatha ixesha lokuthatha isigqibo sokuba uza kuya phi emva kwangoko ukuze unike iqabane lakho ithuba lokuqhubekeka.

Cinga ngokufikelela kubahlobo kunye nosapho okanye ubhukishe igumbi lasehotele, ubuncinci ubusuku obuzayo.

Ngubani oza kuhlala?

Oku kunokuba nzima. Ngokufanelekileyo, nobabini niqhubela phambili kwizithuba ezintsha apho ninokuqala khona ngokutsha, kodwa oku akusoloko kunokwenzeka.

Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nisayine isivumelwano soqeshiso sendlu okanye indlu yenu kunye, kuyakufuneka uthethe nommeli wakho wokuqeshisa ukuze ufumane amanyathelo akho alandelayo. Omnye wenu unokufuna ukuthatha isivumelwano sokuqeshisa.

Ngaphandle koko, umntu ogama lakhe lingekho kwisivumelwano sokuqeshisa uhlala engoyena uphumayo, nangona iimeko ezithile zinokwahluka.

Ukuba unako, zama ukufumanisa ukuba zeziphi izinto onokukhetha kuzo kwangaphambili ukuphelisa olo xinzelelo komnye umntu.

Misela ishedyuli eshukumayo

Ukuphuma kwindawo yokuhlala ekwabelwana ngayo emva kokwahlukana kunokubandakanya uxinzelelo kunye neemvakalelo ezihlawulisiweyo. Ukulungiselela amaxesha athile okupakisha izinto zakho kungenza kube lula kancinci. Ukuba uneeshedyuli zomsebenzi ezahlukileyo, omnye wenu unokuza ngelixa omnye umntu esemsebenzini.

Kungathatha umgudu omncinci wokucwangcisa amaxesha, kodwa zama ukuhlala uzolile, nokuba ucinga ukuba akanangqiqo okanye kunzima. Ukuba abayi kuvuma ukushiya, beka umhlobo othenjiweyo okanye ilungu losapho elinokubonelela ngobukho obungathathi cala kodwa bokuxhasa.

Xoxa ngezilwanyana zasekhaya ekwabelwana ngazo

Ukuba unesilwanyana sasekhaya kunye ngexesha lobudlelwane bakho, unokungavumelani malunga nokuba ngubani osigcinayo. Ingavakala igqithile, kodwa isisombululo sisinye kukwabelana ngokugcina isilwanyana.

Ewe kunjalo, ukubakho koku kuxhomekeke kwisilwanyana. Inja okanye isilwanyana esirhubuluzayo kwi-terrarium sinokuhamba ngokulula phakathi kwamakhaya amabini akwidolophu enye. Amakati, nangona kunjalo, ibali elihlukile. Bajwayele ukuba yindawo kwaye babe nexesha elinzima lokuziqhelanisa nendawo entsha.

Ukuba kukho ikati echaphazelekayo, buza:

• Ingaba ikati iya kukhululeka phi?
• Ngaba ikati ikhetha omnye wethu?
• Ngaba ndiyayifuna ikati, okanye andifuni nje ukuba babe nekati?

Ukuphendula le mibuzo ngokunyanisekileyo kunokukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba ikati ihlala nabani. Ukuba ubuphelisa ubudlelwane njengezihlobo okanye ngokwemeko elungileyo, ungasoloko unikezela ngokuhlala ikati okanye undwendwele kwikamva.

Zama ukushiya iimvakalelo kuyo

Ngexesha lokwahlukana okunzima, kunokuba nzima ukubeka iimvakalelo ecaleni xa ujonga ukulungiswa kokuhamba, ukwahlula izinto, nayo yonke into ebandakanyekileyo.

Kodwa ukuhlala uzolile kungakhokelela kwiziphumo ezingcono kuni nobabini. Le meko inokuba nzima, kodwa zama ukuyiphatha ngesidima, nangengqondo yobungcali.

Xa abantwana bebandakanyeka

Ukuba omnye okanye nobabini ninabantwana ekhaya, kubalulekile ukubanika iinkcukacha ezinyanisekileyo, ezifanelekileyo ngokweminyaka malunga noko kwenzekayo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ucacise kakhulu, kodwa zama ukungaxoki.

Zilungiselele ukubaxelela ukuba imeko yokuphila iza kutshintsha njani. Wena neqabane lakho nifanele nigqibe kwangexesha ukuba ingaba lowo ungangumzali uya kuba nalo na unxibelelwano.

Ukuba omabini amaqabane ayanceda ukubonelela ngononophelo lwabantwana, nokuba ungubani na umzali, kunokunceda nina nobabini ukuba nithethe nabantwana abadala ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqonde ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Abantwana bakha ubudlelwane obusondeleyo nabo babakhathaleleyo, kungoko banokuba nomsindo kakhulu xa umntu eyehla emfanekisweni ngaphandle kwengcaciso.

Ngaphezulu kwako konke, musa ukuba nengxoxo yokwahlukana phambi kwabantwana. Ukuba abanakuba ngaphandle kwendlu ngenxa yayo, linda de balale, emva koko uthethe ngokuzolileyo kwigumbi elahlukileyo.

Ukuba ulwalamano olude

Ukwahlukana neqabane elikude akufani kakhulu nokwahlukana nomnye umntu xa sele uqalile incoko. Kodwa unokufuna ukuqaphela iinkcukacha ezimbalwa ezongezelelekileyo ngaphambi kokuba ube nale ncoko.

Khetha indlela ngobulumko

Ngokubanzi, incoko yobuso ngobuso yeyona ndlela ihloniphekileyo yokwahlukana nomntu. Ukuba iqabane lakho lihlala kwizixeko ezininzi, ilizwe, okanye amazwe kude kwaye ukuthetha nomntu kuya kufuna ixesha okanye imali ebalulekileyo, ngekhe ukwazi ukwenza oku kwenzeke.

Kuya kufuneka uyiphephe i-imeyile okanye isicatshulwa, kodwa ingxoxo yefowuni okanye yevidiyo kunokuba yinto elungileyo yokuphelisa ubudlelwane obude.

Musa ukulinda ixesha elide

Nokuba ulinda ukwahlukana okanye hayi akunakuxhomekeka kwimeko yakho. Ukuba sele ulungiselele utyelelo, unokuthatha isigqibo sokulinda kwaye ube nencoko yokwahlukana ngobuqu.

Qiniseka ukuba ucinga ukuba oku kufanelekile komnye umntu. Umzekelo, ukuba uza kubabona, usenokuceba ukuhamba kwangolo suku emva kokuba uthethile. Kodwa ukuba beze kukubona, baya kuba bodwa, mhlawumbi ngaphandle kwendlela ekhawulezileyo egodukayo.

Kuphephe ukulinda ukwahlukana ukuba uyazi ukuba omnye umntu uceba ukutshintsha imeko yakhe (uyeke umsebenzi kwaye usondele kufutshane nawe, umzekelo) ngokusekwe kubudlelwane bakho.

Nika isilumkiso

Inokukunceda ukulungiselela omnye umntu incoko yokwahlukana. Oku kunokuba lula njengokuthumela umyalezo othi, “Heyi, ndinento enzulu endifuna ukuthetha ngayo. Ngaba likho ixesha elimnandi lokuba uthethe ithutyana? ”

Ubuncinci, khetha ixesha apho nina nobabini ninokunika ingqalelo kwincoko enzulu. Ngamanye amagama, kuthintele ukwahlukana nomnxeba okhawulezileyo usiya kwidibano.

Ukuba ufuna ukuhlala zihlobo

Yinto eqhelekileyo ukufuna ukuhlala ungumhlobo neqabane emva kokwahlukana. Mhlawumbi uqale njengabahlobo abalungileyo kwaye awufuni kuphulukana nayo yonke into owabelana ngayo ngenxa yokuba icala lezothando aliphumelelanga.

Uphononongo luka-2011 olubandakanya abathathi-nxaxheba abali-131 lubonisa ukuba abantu abafumana ulwaneliseko ngakumbi kubudlelwane ngaphambi kokuqhekeka kunokwenzeka ukuba bahlale bengabahlobo emva kokwahlukana.

Ababhali bachonge ezinye izinto ezimbalwa ezonyusa amathuba akho:

• naningabahlobo ngaphambi kokuba nithandane
• nobabini benifuna ukohlukana
• abahlobo bakho bobabini bayayixhasa ubuhlobo
• nobabini ufuna ukusebenza ukugcina ubuhlobo

Isiphelo sokugqibela sisitshixo: Ukuba omnye umntu akafuni kuhlala engabahlobo, kubalulekile ukuba uyihlonele kwaye ubanike indawo. Ukuhlonipha imida yabo kuya kwandisa kuphela ithuba lokuba nibe ngabahlobo ngenye imini.

Ukuba ulwalamano oluninzi

Ukwahlukana okunee-polyamorous kubeka imiceli mngeni eyongezelelweyo kuba ichaphazela abantu abaliqela. Ngelixa uninzi lweengcebiso ezifanayo ziyasebenza, kukho ezinye izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe.

Ukwahlukana neqabane elinye

Ukuba amanye amaqabane akho ayenobuhlobo okanye ebandakanyeka ngokusondeleyo kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili, ukwahlukana kunokuba nefuthe.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqhubekeke ngokwahlukana wedwa, kodwa unokuhlengahlengisa okwenzekileyo kunye neemvakalelo ezichaphazelekayo kwiqabane lakho ngalinye.

Nokuba injani na imeko, unxibelelwano olukhululekileyo ngundoqo.

Xa uthetha nelinye iqabane lakho, zama ukunqanda:

• Ukuthetha kuphela ngokwahlukana
• Ukuthetha izinto ezingalunganga malunga neqabane lakho langaphambili
• ukuxelela amanye amaqabane akufuneki bachithe ixesha kunye neqabane lakho langaphambili
• Ukwabelana ngeenkcukacha ezingeyomfuneko namaqabane anobubele okanye abandakanyekayo kwiqabane lakho langaphambili

Ukushiya i-triad okanye iqela elizimeleyo

Indlela ophatha ngayo ukushiya yonke ubudlelwane be-poly, endaweni yokuqhekeka neqabane elinye, inokuxhomekeka kwizizathu zakho.

Ukuba i-polyamory ayilunganga kuwe, kodwa uziva usondele kumaqabane akho, unokukwazi ukugcina ubuhlobo. Kodwa ukuba ubudlelwane buquka ukunganyaniseki, ukuphathwa gadalala, okanye ukuziphatha okungaphantsi kokuziphatha, ukwenza ikhefu elicocekileyo naye nabani na obandakanyekayo yeyona nto ilungileyo.

Akukho sizathu sokuba ungaqhubeki nokubona amaqabane angakhange aziphathe ngendlela enengxaki okanye eyingozi, kodwa ukuba iqela elinamandla liyaqhubeka, ukuhlala ngobuhlobo neqabane elinye kunokuba nzima.

Ukufumana inkxaso eyongezelelweyo kuyo yonke le nkqubo, cinga ngokufuna amaqela e-poly okanye i-poly-friendly therapist.

Ukuba iqabane lakho liyakuhlukumeza

Ukuba ucinga ukuba iqabane lakho lingakukhathaza xa uzama ukwahlukana, kubalulekile ukuthatha amanyathelo okukhusela ukhuseleko lwakho.

Bandakanya abanye abantu

Xelela abantu obathandayo ngesicwangciso sakho sokwahlukana neqabane lakho. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, gcina iimpahla kunye nezinto ezibalulekileyo nabantu obathembileyo, ukuba kunokwenzeka uhambe ungxamile.

Zama ukuba nengxoxo yokwahlukana kwindawo kawonke-wonke. Ukuba awukwazi ukuyenza loo nto, thatha umntu omthembileyo. Le yenye yeemeko ezinqabileyo apho umnxeba okanye isicatshulwa sinokulunga ngakumbi kunengxoxo yobuso ngobuso.

Cwangcisa kwaye ulungiselele

Ukuzenzela ukhuseleko lwakho, kungcono ushiye ubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo ngokukhawuleza kangangoko unako. Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukushiya kwangoko, sebenzisa ixesha ukucwangcisa nokulungiselela. Gcina ijenali ekhuselekileyo yezehlo zokuphathwa gadalala, kunye neefoto ukuba kunokwenzeka. Qokelela amaxwebhu abalulekileyo kwaye uwagcine kwindawo ekhuselekileyo.

Ukuba unabantwana, babandakanye kwisicwangciso sakho sokhuseleko. Ziqhelanise nabantwana abadala ngokwaneleyo ukuba baqonde. Bafikise kwindawo ekhuselekileyo ngaphambi kokuba ube nencoko yokwahlukana, ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Yima kwisigqibo sakho

Iqabane elihlukumezayo linokuzama ukukulawula okanye ukulawule ngexesha lokwahlukana. Banokuqinisekisa ukuba bayakuthanda kwaye bathembisa ukutshintsha. Ngokuqinisekileyo kunokwenzeka ukuba abantu batshintshe, kodwa ukuba wenze isigqibo sokuphelisa ubudlelwane, mhlawumbi wenze njalo ngesizathu esivakalayo.

Ungabakhumbula emva kokuba nahlukene, nokuba babesebenzisa gadalala. Usenokude uzibuze ukuba wenze ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Ezi mvakalelo ziqhelekile, kodwa zinokubangela uxinzelelo. Cinga ngokufikelela kunyangi okanye ugqwetha ngoncedo ngeli nqanaba lotshintsho.

Ezi zixhobo zibonelela ngokhuseleko kunye nolwazi olusemthethweni, izixhobo zokucwangcisa, kunye nenkxaso yengxoxo ephilayo:

• UthandoIsRespect
• Umnxeba osayilwayo we-Intanethi

Ukuba iqabane lakho lisongela ukuzenzakalisa

Abanye abantu bahlala kubudlelwane ixesha elide emva kokuthatha isigqibo sokushiya kuba bexhalabile amaqabane abo anokuthi asabele kakubi, abe noxinzelelo olukhulu ngokweemvakalelo, okanye azenzakalise.

Ngelixa ukhathalelo ngokhuseleko lweqabane lakho akuyonto iphosakeleyo, kuya kufuneka wenze olona khetho lubalulekileyo ebomini bakho.

Tsalela umnxeba kwindawo yogcino

"Yenza isicwangciso sokhuseleko nomnye wabahlobo beqabane lakho okanye amalungu osapho," ucebisa uParker. Loo mntu unokuhlala neqabane lakho emva koqhawulo-mtshato kwaye anike inkxaso de badlule kwinqanaba lobunzima.

Lungiselela uncedo

"Baxelele ukuba bazoyikisa ngokwenzakalisa, uya kubiza u-911," u-Parker uqhubeka athi, "kodwa awuzukuphinda ubuye kunye nabo."

Ukuba iqabane lakho libona ugqirha, bakhuthaze ukuba babize inkxaso. Ungatsalela umnxeba ukwazisa ugqirha malunga nemeko yeqabane lakho ukuba abayi kwenza umnxeba ngokwabo.

Thatha iqabane lakho ngokungathí sina kwaye ubize uncedo xa ufuna njalo. Lungiselela umntu oza kuhlala nabo ukuze angabi yedwa. Kodwa landela injongo yakho yokwahlukana.

"Musa ukubavumela basebenzise izoyikiso zokuzenzakalisa okanye ukuzibulala njengendlela yokufumana ukuba uhlale kubudlelwane," utshilo uParker. “Khumbula ukuba ekugqibeleni, unoxanduva lwezenzo zakho nokhetho lwakho, kwaye banoxanduva lwabo. Ukuhamba kwakho ‘akubenzi’ bazenzakalise. ”

Ukufumana amagama

Nokuba wenza konke ukuzilungiselela emhlabeni, kusenokuba nzima ukufumana amagama xa ujongene ne ex-to-be ex yakho. Nazi izikhombisi ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzigcine engqondweni.

Hlela iingcinga zakho kwaye ucwangcise into ofuna ukuyithetha kwangaphambili. Ukuba kuyanceda, yenza ngathi uyancokola nomntu omthembileyo okanye uziqhelanise nokuthetha amazwi uwedwa.

Ngaphezulu kwayo yonke loo nto, jolisa ekugcineni izinto zicacile kwaye zilula ngaphandle kokugabadela ngokugqithisileyo. Ukuba uziva ungakhululekanga ukungena kwizinto ezithile, ungathi izinto ezinje, "Asihambelani ixesha elide," okanye "Ubuntu bethu abusebenzi kakuhle kubudlelwane bezothando."

Qaphela, nangona kunjalo, ukubonelela ngezizathu ezithe kratya kunokunceda omnye umntu alungise naziphi na iingxaki oziqapheleyo kubudlelwane bakho.

Umzekelo, unokuthi, "Iyandikhathaza ngokwenene into yokuba ungaze ufike ngexesha okanye ulandele izinto othi uza kuzenza. Indenza ndizive ndingathembi kwanto uyithethayo. ”

Umzekelo wencoko

Ngokuchanekileyo into oyithethayo inokuxhomekeka ekubeni kutheni ufuna ukwahlukana, kodwa la mabinzana anokukunika ezinye izimvo:

• Ungaqala ngokuthi, "Ndingathanda ukuthetha ngento enzulu," okanye "Unalo ixesha lentetho?"
• Emva koko, ungathetha into enje, "Ndikukhathalele ngokwenene, kwaye ndizabalazile ngesi sigqibo, kodwa ulwalamano lwethu alusasebenzi kum ngoku."
• Chaza izizathu ezimbalwa eziphambili zokuba kutheni ulwalamano lungasebenzi kwakhona.
• Cacisa gca, "Ndifuna ukwahlukana," "Olu lwalamano luphelile," okanye ibinzana elifanayo elixelela iqabane lakho kanye kanye ukuba kwenzeka ntoni.
• Nyaniseka kwaye uphephe amabinzana afana nokuthi, “Asinguwe; ndim."

Izinto zokuphepha

Oku sukuyenza ukwenza ngexesha lokwahlukana kunokuba kubaluleke kakhulu njengoko ukhetha ukwenza. Ngelixa lonke ukwahlukana kwahlukile, kukho izinto ezimbalwa eziphantse zihlala zingumbono ombi.

Ukusasaza ukwahlukana kuFacebook

Ukunyuka kweendaba zosasazo kulongeze uluhlu olutsha lobunzima ekuqhubeni.

Melana nomnqweno wokuthetha izinto ezimbi malunga neqabane lakho langaphambili emva kokuhlukana. Ukuba ufuna ukukhupha, gcina loo nto kwiincoko zangasese nabahlobo bakho kunye nosapho.

Ukujonga kubo

Kuyalinga ukubona ukuba iqabane langaphambili liphi, kodwa musa ukuhamba okanye uqhube ngendlu yabo okanye uyeke ngomsebenzi wabo ngaphandle kokuba unesizathu esivakalayo kwaye wenze amalungiselelo nabo. Ukuba baziva betsaliwe okanye besoyikiswa, banokufaka ingxelo yamapolisa.

Ukuba uvumile ukungathethi, sukuqalisa unxibelelwano ngaphambi kwexesha ovumelene ngalo ukuba liphele. Ukuba ukhathazekile ngemeko yabo yeemvakalelo, yiba nomhlobo ofanayo okanye omnye umntu abajonge.

Unokuba neenjongo ezintle, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuva kuwe kunokubuyisela umva nayiphi na inkqubela phambili abayenzileyo.

Ukugxeka okanye ukugxeka

Ukuba unabahlobo bobabini, kuphephe ukutyhola iqabane lakho langaphambili ngokwahlukana, ukugxeka okanye indlela abaziphethe ngayo, okanye uthethe nantoni na enesidima okanye embi. Ukuba bakhohlisile okanye benze into ebuhlungu, ungaziva unomsindo kwaye ukhathazekile kwakude kudala wahlukana nabo.

Ezi mvakalelo zivumelekile, kodwa zama ukuthetha ngazo zinemveliso. Oku kunokukunceda ugcine ubuhlobo bakho bobabini, kodwa kunokukunceda kwakhona ukubuyisela kunye nempilo yengqondo.

Imibala enesiporho

Kungalinga ukuba uthi cwaka uphume kubudlelwane, ngakumbi ukuba khange nihlale kunye ixesha elide. Unokungaqiniseki nokuba ubenobudlelwane. Kodwa ukuba awuqinisekanga, banokuba njalo, nabo. Baye bacinga ukuba ibubuhlobo, ke ukungaze uphinde uve kuwe kunokubacaphukisa.

Ukuba awuzange utyale imali kakhulu kulwalamano kunye nengcinga yokuhlangana nje ukuphelisa uxinzelelo kuwe, ubuncinci thumela isicatshulwa ubazise ukuba kuphelile. Oku akulunganga, kodwa kungcono kunanto.

Ngaphezulu kwayo yonke into, icebo elilungileyo lokugcina engqondweni xa wohlukana nomntu, “Ndingaziva njani kwelinye icala loku?” Ukugcina oku engqondweni kunokukunceda ubuphelise ubudlelwane bakho ngovelwano nentlonipho.

UCrystal wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.