Uyenza njani (Ngokwenyani) uKwazi umntu

Umxholo

• Buza imibuzo eyiyo
• Gxila kwimibuzo eqhubela phambili incoko
• Kuphephe ukubuza imibuzo ngokukhawuleza
• Yamkela ukungonwabi
• Ukumamela ngenyameko iimpendulo zabo
• Indlela yokwenza
• Nika ingqalelo kwindlela abasabela ngayo
• Hlala ukhona
• Nyaniseka
• Thetha ngawe
• Gcina ukuncoma kuncinci- kwaye kuyinyani
• Kuphephe ukunika iingcebiso
• Kuphephe ukuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukuthumela imiyalezo kakhulu
• Beka umgudu ekwenzeni izicwangciso
• Musa ukucinezela kakhulu kwizifundo ezibuthathaka
• Ziqhelanise nokuba sesichengeni
• Nika ixesha

Abanye abantu abanangxaki yokwazi abanye. Usenokuba nomhlobo onjalo.

Imizuzu elishumi nomntu omtsha, kwaye bencokola bemke ngokungathi bayazana iminyaka. Kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu onalo ixesha elilula kangaka lokunxibelelana nabantu abatsha.

Xa uzama ukufumana ngakumbi malunga nomntu omtsha, unokulingwa ukuba uhambe uluhlu olude lwemibuzo. Ngelixa ukubuza imibuzo ngokuqinisekileyo sisiqalo esihle, kuphela yinxalenye yokulingana.

Nanku ukujonga kwindlela yokwazi umntu okwinqanaba elinzulu ngaphandle kwethoni yencoko encinci.

Buza imibuzo eyiyo

Kwakhona, imibuzo yenza khonza injongo xa usazi umntu othile. Ngapha koko, ubunokuba nobunzima ekunxibelelaneni ngaphandle kokubuza nayiphi na imibuzo.

Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uqiniseke ukuba ubuza imibuzo onomdla wokwenene kuyo. Hayi kakhulu umntu wefilimu? Ungaziva ngathi kuya kufuneka urhabule iminyaka ubudala "Ubonile naziphi na iifilimu ezilungileyo mva nje?"

Gxila kwimibuzo eqhubela phambili incoko

Cinga ngendlela onokuziva ngayo ukuba umntu ukubuza imibuzo emininzi engakhange ibonakale ingenanjongo:

• "Ngubani igama lakho eliphakathi?"
• “Unazo izilwanyana zasekhaya?”
• "Kukuphi ukutya okuthandayo?"

Ungaziva ukoyiswa, okanye nokuba ukhubekile kudliwanondlebe obungakulungelanga.

Endaweni yokubuza imibuzo engahleliwe, vumela incoko ikukhokele, kwaye ujonge iindlela ezivela komnye umntu. Umzekelo, ukuba uphawula ukuba umntu osebenza naye unemvelaphi yedesktop yezinja, usenokuthi, “Hayi indlela entle ngayo! Zizinja zakho ezo? ”

Khumbula, awunyanzelekanga ukuba ubuze yonke into okuza engqondweni. Ngokwendalo abantu baveza ulwazi malunga neziqu zabo ekuhambeni kwexesha.

Ukuba uqhubeka uthetha nabo, uya kuphelela ekufumaneni iimpendulo nakule mibuzo ungakhange uyibuze.

Kuphephe ukubuza imibuzo ngokukhawuleza

Yithi udibana nje nomntu obonakala emkhulu ngenene. Ngokuqinisekileyo unokuzibona usiba ngabahlobo, mhlawumbi enye into engaphezulu. Nje ukuba uve ukuba unomdla wokuqala, ufuna ukwazi ngakumbi nge-ASAP.

Kodwa ukubetha imibuzo emininzi kusenokungabi lolona hambo luhle. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kufumanisa iinyani eziphambili malunga nomntu, ezinje ngokuba bakhulele phi kwaye bangaphi abantakwabo. Kodwa umbuzo omnye onengqiqo unokukunika ulwazi ngakumbi.

Umzekelo, ukuba ufuna ukubuza malunga nosapho, ungathi, "Ngaba uchitha ixesha elininzi nosapho lwakho?" Oku kunokufumana impendulo engcono kunokubuza nje ukuba banabantakwabo.

Yamkela ukungonwabi

Abantu bahlala ngokungagqibeki kwimibuzo ekhawulezileyo, engenamsebenzi xa besiva ukuzola kwincoko. Kodwa obu bunzima bokuqala buqhelekile.

Uphononongo lwango-2018 lufumanise ukuba kudla ngokuthatha malunga nenyanga kwiipateni zencoko ukuze uzinze kwisigqi esitofotofo.

Okwangoku, zama ukuba ungadinwa kakhulu nangaliphi na ixesha lokuthula okanye ukungonwabi okunokuvela.

Ukuba unzima ukufikelela kula maxesha anzima, uKatherine Parker, LMFT, ucebisa ukuziqhelanisa nomhlobo omthembileyo. Qala ngesivuli, njenge “Heyi, ndiyayithanda laa ndawo ibhegi yakho. Ngaba uyile? ” kwaye uziqhelanise nokugcina incoko iqhubeka.

Ukumamela ngenyameko iimpendulo zabo

Ukuba unomdla wokwenene wokwazi umntu, awungekhe ubuze nje imibuzo. Kuya kufuneka unikele ingqalelo kwiimpendulo zabo. Ungasebenzisa izakhono zokumamela ngokusebenzayo ukubonisa umntu onomdla onyanisekileyo kwinto abazokuyithetha.

Ukumamela ngokukhutheleyo kuthetha ukuba uthatha inxaxheba kwincoko nangona ungathethi.

Indlela yokwenza

Nika ithuba lokumamela ngokuzama:

• ukudibana kwamehlo
• ukujika okanye uncika kumntu othethayo
• ukunqwala okanye ukwenza ingxolo eqinisekisayo ngelixa umamele
• balinde ukuthetha bade bagqibe
• ukuphinda okanye ukubonisa uvelwano ngento abayithethileyo ("Uqhekeze ingalo yakho kabini ngonyaka? Inokuba ibiyinto eyoyikisayo, andicingi.")

Nika ingqalelo kwindlela abasabela ngayo

Unokufunda okuninzi kwindlela umntu aphendula ngayo ngokwasemzimbeni kumbuzo. Ngaba bathembele ekuphenduleni? Isimbo somzimba okanye ubonakale ngathi uphilile ngenye indlela njengoko bephendula?

Ukuba babonakala benemincili, mhlawumbi ufike ngesihloko esihle. Ukuba bayayijika imizimba yabo okanye iintloko, bashenxise umbuzo, okanye banike impendulo emfutshane, abanakuba nomdla omkhulu.

Ukufunda ukuqonda inqanaba lomntu onomdla kunokukunceda ube nempumelelo engakumbi kunxibelelwano. Umntu usenokuba nomdla omncinci ekuthetheni nawe ukuba ucinga ukuba uza kuqhubeka ubuza imibuzo malunga nezinto angazikhathalelanga.

Hlala ukhona

Sonke siziva siphazamisekile kwaye singazixakekisi ngamanye amaxesha. Oku kunokwenzeka nokuba wenza into emnandi, njengokuthetha nomntu onomdla wokwazi.

Kodwa ukucandwa komhlaba kunokuvela njengongathandiyo, ngakumbi kumntu ongakwazi kakuhle.

Ukuba uziva ujonge ingqalelo, thintela umnxeba wokufikelela kwifowuni yakho okanye kungenjalo ujonge kwincoko. Endaweni yokuba uthathe umzuzu wokukhumbula kwaye uzikhumbuze ngento oyenzayo- kwaye ngoba.

Ukuba ngenene awukwazi ukunika ingqalelo kwincoko, thembeka nje. Yithi into enje, "bendinosuku olubi, kwaye ndifuna ukunika le ngxoxo ingqalelo engcono kunokuba ndinako ngoku." Oku kunokunceda omnye umntu azive exabisekile. Mhlawumbi baya kuhlonipha ukunyaniseka kwakho, nabo.

Nyaniseka

Kungabonakala kungenabungozi ukuyiphutha inyaniso kancinci ukuze unxibelelane nomntu.

Ufunda "Imidlalo yeNdlala," ke uyavuya malunga nendlela othanda ngayo iinoveli zabadala zabantu abadala. Okanye, mhlawumbi ufuna ukujoyina iqela elisebenza kakuhle nelisebenza kunye nabo, ke ukhankanya ngokungazenzisiyo ukubaleka iimayile ezintlanu rhoqo kusasa xa izihlangu zakho zihleli ngasemva kwekhabethe iinyanga.

Kancinci njengoko ezi zinto zinokubonakala ngathi, ukukhulisa ukuthembela linyathelo elibalulekileyo lokwazi umntu. Xa inyani iphuma (kwaye ihlala isenzeka), banokuzibuza ukuba yeyiphi enye into oyibaxileyo, okanye ukuba ubuhlobo bakho bonke busekelwe kubuxoki.

Akusoloko kufuneka uthande izinto ezifanayo ukwenza unxibelelwano. Vumela iindawo ezifanayo zifike ngokwendalo. Ukuba azinjalo, ungasoloko usazisa omnye komnye kwezo zinto uzithandayo.

Thetha ngawe

Ubudlelwane bakho akufuneki bube kwicala elinye. Awuyi kuba nobuhlobo obuninzi xa omnye umntu engakwazi, naye. Kunye nokubuza imibuzo, zama ukwabelana ngezinto malunga nawe.

Unokunika iinkcukacha zobuqu ngokwendalo ngexesha lengxoxo, uhlala uphendula kwinto ethethwa ngumntu. Umzekelo: “Uyakuthanda ukupheka? Iyamangalisa. Andinawo umonde ekhitshini, kodwa ndiyakuthanda ukwenza ii-cocktails. "

Abanye abantu banokuziva bengakhululekanga ukuba banolwazi oluncinci malunga nokuba bathetha nabani, ngenxa yoko ukwabelana ngezinto ngawe kunokubanceda bazive bekhululekile.

Ungayibuyisela incoko komnye umntu ngombuzo ohambelana nawo, onje, "Ngaba uzifundisile ukupheka?"

NgokukaParker, abantu abakufumanisa kunzima ukunxibelelana nabanye bahlala benengxaki ekunxibelelaneni neziqu zabo. Ucebisa ngokwakha izinto ozithandayo kunye nezinto onomdla kuzo ukuze wandise amava akho.

Gcina ukuncoma kuncinci- kwaye kuyinyani

Ukuncoma umntu kunokubonakala ngathi yindlela elungileyo yokwenza ukuba bakuthande, kodwa awufuni kugqithisa. Oku kunokuba kukubeka ngaphandle, kuba kuhlala kubonakala kunganyanisekanga. Kananjalo inokwenza abantu bangakhululeki.

Umgaqo olungileyo wesithupha kukwenza ukuncoma kube nentsingiselo kwaye kuthembeke. Ukuncoma okusuka entliziyweni kunokunceda ukuqala incoko enika ithuba lokwazi umntu ngcono.

Sebenzisa ukhathalelo xa uncoma ukubonakala. Ngelixa kuhlala kungekho monakalo ekuthandeni isinxibo esikhethekileyo okanye ubucwebe, kuphephe ukwenza amagqabantshintshi ngenkangeleko yomntu okanye ubungakanani, nokuba ucinga ukuba uthetha into entle.

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba amagqabantshintshi ngenkangeleko awasoloko efanelekileyo kwindawo yokusebenza.

Kuphephe ukunika iingcebiso

Ukuba umntu osandula ukudibana naye uqala ukukuxelela ngengxaki abajongana nayo, impendulo yakho yamathumbu isenokuba kukubonelela ngengcebiso. Kodwa kungcono ukuphulaphula nje ngovelwano, ngaphandle kokuba babuze ngokuthe ngqo ukuba ucinga ntoni okanye uza kwenza ntoni kwimeko efanayo.

Ukuba ufuna ngenene ukunceda, yithi “Oko kuvakala kunzima kakhulu. Ukuba ufuna nantoni na, ndixelele. Ndiyakuvuyela ukunceda xa ndinako. "

Ngokuqhelekileyo kungcono ukuphepha ukucela iingcebiso ezininzi ngokwakho, nawe.

Mhlawumbi ufuna ukubonisa omnye umntu uzixabisile iingcinga zabo kunye negalelo. Kodwa uhlala ubuza "Ucinga ntoni ngaloo nto?" okanye "Ndenze ntoni?" okanye "Ngaba ucinga ukuba ndenze into elungileyo?" unokubeka umntu endaweni ukuze afumane impendulo abanokuziva bengakhululekanga ukunika.

Kuphephe ukuthumela imiyalezo okanye ukuthumela imiyalezo kakhulu

Imiyalezo ebhaliweyo inokuziva njengeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuphepha ukungonwabi okuqala ngamanye amaxesha okuza nokwazi umntu othile. Kodwa zama ukungathembeli kakhulu kolu hlobo lonxibelelwano, ngakumbi kumanqanaba okuqala. Ukuba umgama ngumba, cinga ukuncokola ngevidiyo.

Nanini na xa kunokwenzeka, gcina imiyalezo ebhaliweyo ngokwenza izicwangciso okanye ngokukhawuleza "Hei, bendicinga ngawe." Unokuvumela omnye umntu akukhokele apha. Ukuba nobabini niyakonwabela ukuthumela imiyalezo, yenzani njalo.

Thatha unonophelo ukugcina ibhalansi. Khumbula, unencoko, ke zama ukuphepha iindonga zombhalo kwaye unike omnye umntu ithuba lokuphendula. Gcina iincoko ezinzulu kunxibelelwano lomntu ngaphakathi ukukunceda ukuba uphephe ukunxibelelana gwenxa.

Kunqande ukuthumela uninzi lweetekisi ngaphambi kokuba ufumane impendulo. Abantu baxakekile, kwaye ukubuyela kwimiyalezo eli-12 emva kosuku olunye kunokuziva kunzima.

Ukuba umntu sele ethatha indawo kwimiyalezo yakho, ukuthumela okungaphezulu akunakunceda imeko.

Beka umgudu ekwenzeni izicwangciso

Xa usenza izicwangciso nomntu omtsha, ukusebenzisa izinto kwincoko yakho okanye imikhondo kwindawo yabo inokunceda.

Ikofu ihlala ilula, kodwa ukuza nesicwangciso esenziwe ngokobuqu sibonisa ukuba ubukhe wanikela ingqalelo. Oko kunokunceda umntu azive ekhululekile xa ekufutshane nawe. Umzekelo, ukuba nobabini ninenja, unokucebisa ngokuya epakini yenja.

Sebenzisa imikhombandlela yokuncokola kunokukunceda wazi ukuba yintoni ekufuneka uphephe ukucebisa ngayo. Awungekhe ufune ukucebisa ukuba udibane kwindawo ye-bar kumntu okhankanyiweyo ukuba uhlale ungonwabanga, umzekelo.

Kunokubakho ixesha apho ufika emva kwexesha okanye kufuneka urhoxise izicwangciso zakho, kodwa zama ukungakuvumeli oku kwenzeke rhoqo. Ukufika ngexesha kunye nokugcina ukuzibophelela kubonisa ukuba ulixabisile ixesha lomnye umntu.

Musa ukucinezela kakhulu kwizifundo ezibuthathaka

Abanye abantu bayathanda ukuthetha ngezopolitiko, inkolo, ubudlelwane obudlulileyo, ubudlelwane obukhoyo ngoku, okanye naliphi na inani lezinye izihloko ezinokubuthathaka. Abanye abayenzi. Abantu abaninzi abaziva bekhululekile ukuthetha ngale micimbi de bamazi umntu kakuhle.

Nokuba uyakuthanda ukungena nzulu kwizifundo ezinzulu, ezinentsingiselo, kububulumko ngokubanzi ukuba uqaphele xa usazi umntu othile.

“Ucinga ukuba kwenzeka ntoni xa sisifa?” isenokungabi sisona sihloko sihle okokuqala xa uhlangana nekofu. Gcina enye yengxoxo yasebusuku ye-cozier usenokuba neeveki ezimbalwa okanye iinyanga ezantsi kwendlela.

Kulungile ngokugqibeleleyo ukwazisa izihloko ezibuthathaka ngakumbi ngokubanzi, ngakumbi ukuba ukhetha ukwazi ukuba umntu uziva njani ngezifundo ezithile kwasekuqaleni.

Kodwa nikela ingqalelo kwindlela abasabela ngayo. Ukuba banika iimpendulo ezimfutshane, yiya kwesinye isihloko. Ukuba bathi nje kungcono bangathethi ngento ethile, uyihloniphe kwaye utshintshe umxholo.

Ziqhelanise nokuba sesichengeni

Ukuba ufuna ukwazi umntu ngokusondeleyo, indlela yakho ayifanelanga ukuba kwicala elinye. Ngamanye amagama, awunakulindela ukuba umntu abelane ngolwazi lomntu ukuba awuzimisele ukwenza okufanayo.

Ngokwesiqhelo kufuneka ubonelele ngenqanaba elithile lokuba sesichengeni ngaphambi kokuba umntu aqale azive ekhululekile xa ekufutshane nawe.

Oku akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uvule malunga nezihloko ezinzima okanye ezinzima ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, unokwabelana ngokwendalo ngolwazi oluthe kratya malunga nezinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini bakho.

Kulungile ukugcina izinto ezingaqhelekanga kwaye zilula, ukuba olo hlobo lobuhlobo olifunayo. Kodwa ukuba ufuna abantu obaqhelana nabo bakhule babe ngabahlobo abasenyongweni okanye nokuba kukuthandana, usenokungakwazi ukuya apho ungakhuselekanga.

Kwelinye icala, qiniseka ukuba uyayihlonipha imida yabo. Ukuba bakuxelela ukuba abafuni ukuthetha ngento ethile okanye babonakale bejika xa uzisa isihloko esithile, musa ukusityhala.

Nika ixesha

Kungathatha ngaphezulu kweeyure ezili-100 kwithuba leenyanga ezi-3 ukuba ubuhlobo buphuhle.

Ewe, ukuchitha nje ixesha nomntu akuthethi ukuba uyakwenza ubuhlobo obuhlala ixesha elide, kodwa amathuba akho obuhlobo ahlala enyuka xa uchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomntu.

Kuyaqondakala ukufuna ukusondela emntwini ngoko nangoko, kodwa ukuvumela izinto zikhule ngokwendalo kunokuba neziphumo ezingcono kunokunyanzela ubuhlobo.

Gxila nje ekuchitheni ixesha kunye nomntu ofuna ukumazi, kwaye usebenzise ezi ngcebiso zingasentla ukunceda ukwenza elo xesha libalwe.

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ubuhlobo abuhlali busebenza. Njengokuba abanye abantu bengadibani njengamaqabane athandanayo, abanye abantu nabo abahambelani njengezihlobo, kwaye kulungile.

Ukuba wenze umzamo kodwa nina nobabini anibonakali ngathi nicofa, kwamkeleka ngokugqibeleleyo ukuyeka ukudlulisa izimemo kwaye nenze incoko ephucukileyo xa nibabona esikolweni, emsebenzini, okanye naphi na. Bayeke bakufikelele ngokulandelayo, ukuba basafuna ukwenza ubuhlobo.