Iingcebiso ezi-8 zoKoyisa ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi

Umxholo

• Okokuqala, ukwahlula okubonisa inkxaso kwinkxaso yekhowudi
• Chonga iipateni ebomini bakho
• Funda ukuba lukhangeleka njani uthando olusempilweni
• Zibekele imida
• Khumbula, unokulawula kuphela izenzo zakho
• Nika inkxaso esempilweni
• Ziqhelise ukuzixabisa
• Chonga iimfuno zakho
• Cinga ngonyango

Ukuxhomekeka kumgaqo kubhekisa kwipatheni yokubeka phambili iimfuno zamaqabane obudlelwane okanye amalungu osapho ngaphezulu kweemfuno zakho kunye neminqweno.

Iya ngaphaya:

• ufuna ukunceda umntu omthandayo osokolayo
• baziva bethuthuzelekile bubukho babo
• ndingafuni ukuba bahambe
• ngamaxesha athile uzincama ukunceda umntu omthandayo

Abantu ngamanye amaxesha basebenzisa eli gama ukuchaza indlela yokuziphatha engayifanelanga ncam le nkcazo, ekhokelela ekudidekeni okuthile.Yicinge njengenkxaso egqithileyo iba yimpilo.

Eli gama lihlala lisetyenziselwa ukucebisa ngeziyobisi ngokuchaza ukwenza izinto ngokuziphatha kubudlelwane obuchatshazelwe kukusetyenziswa gwenxa kweziyobisi. Kodwa inokusebenza kulo naluphi na uhlobo lobudlelwane.

Ukuba ucinga unokuba kubudlelwane obuxhomekeke kuwe, Nazi ezinye izikhombisi zokukunceda uqhubele phambili.

Okokuqala, ukwahlula okubonisa inkxaso kwinkxaso yekhowudi

Umgca phakathi kwempilo esempilweni, iindlela zokuxhasa kunye nokuzithemba ngamanye amaxesha unokuba mfiliba. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukufuna ukunceda iqabane lakho, ngakumbi ukuba banexesha elinzima.

Kodwa indlela yokuziphatha exhomekeke kwindlela yokuqondisa okanye yokulawula indlela umntu aziphethe ngayo okanye indlela avakalelwa ngayo, ngokukaKatherine Fabrizio, umcebisi oqeqeshiweyo onelayisensi eRaleigh, North Carolina. "Utsiba esihlalweni somqhubi ebomini babo endaweni yokuhlala umkhweli," uyachaza.

Isenokungabi yinjongo yakho ukubalawula, kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, iqabane lakho linokuxhomekeka kuncedo lwakho kwaye lizenzele kancinci. Emva koko, unokuziva uziva unelisekile okanye unenjongo yokuzincama okwenzela iqabane lakho.

Olunye uphawu oluphambili lokuxhomekeka, ngokukaFabrizio, lunokubandakanya:

• ukuzixakekisa ngokuziphatha kweqabane lakho okanye impilo-ntle yakho
• ukukhathazeka ngakumbi malunga nokuziphatha kweqabane lakho kunabo
• imo exhomekeke kwindlela oziva ngayo okanye owenza ngayo iqabane lakho

Chonga iipateni ebomini bakho

Nje ukuba ubambe isibambiso sokuba ikhomputha ixhomekeke njani, thatha inyathelo ubuye umva kwaye uzame ukuchonga naziphi na iipateni eziphindaphindayo kubudlelwane bakho bangoku kunye nobudlulileyo.

U-Ellen Biros, unontlalontle onelayisensi yeklinikhi eSuwanee, eGeorgia, ucacisa ukuba indlela yokuziphatha exhomekeke kwimikhwa ixhomekeke ebuntwaneni. Iipateni ozifundayo kubazali bakho kwaye eziphindaphindayo kubudlelwane zihlala zidlala kaninzi, de ubayeke. Kodwa kunzima ukwaphula iphethini ngaphambi kokuba uyiqaphele.

Ngaba unomdla wokutsala abantu abafuna uncedo oluninzi? Ngaba unzima ukucela uncedo kwiqabane lakho?

Ngokuka-Biros, abantu abaxhomekeke kwikhowudi badla ngokuxhomekeka ekuqinisekisweni kwabanye endaweni yokuziqinisekisa. Olu tyekelo lokuzincama lunokukunceda uzive usondele kwiqabane lakho. Xa ungazenzeli izinto, usenokuziva ungenanjongo, ungonwabanga, okanye ungazixabisi.

Ukuvuma ngokulula ezi patheni kubalulekile ukuba woyise.

Funda ukuba lukhangeleka njani uthando olusempilweni

Ayilulo lonke ulwalamano olungenampilo oluxhomekekileyo, kodwa lonke ubudlelwane bokuxhomekeka ngokubanzi abunampilo.

Oku akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane beekhowudi buya kugwetywa. Kuza kuthatha nje umsebenzi ukubuyisela izinto emgceni. Elinye lamanyathelo okuqala ngokwenza oko kukufunda nje ukuba ubudlelwane obusempilweni, obungasekiyo bujongeka kanjani.

"Uthando olusempilweni lubandakanya umjikelo wentuthuzelo nolwaneliseko," utshilo uBiros, "ngelixa uthando olunetyhefu lubandakanya umjikelo weentlungu kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba."

Ukwabelana ngemiqondiso embalwa yothando olusempilweni:

• amaqabane bayazithemba omnye komnye
• omabini amaqabane aziva ekhuselekile ekuzixabiseni kwawo
• amaqabane anokulalanisa

Kubudlelwane obuphilileyo, iqabane lakho kufuneka likhathalele iimvakalelo zakho, kwaye kufuneka uzive ukhuselekile xa unxibelelana neemvakalelo zakho kunye neemfuno zakho. Kuya kufuneka uzive ukwazi ukuvakalisa uluvo olwahlukileyo kweqabane lakho okanye uthi hayi kwinto engqubana neemfuno zakho.

Zibekele imida

Umda ngumda obeka kuwo izinto ongakhululekanga ngazo. Akusoloko kulula ukuseta okanye ukunamathela, ngakumbi ukuba ujongana nokuxhomekeka ekumeleleni ixesha elide. Unokukuqhela ukwenza ukonwaba kwabanye kubenzima ukuba unikele ingqalelo kwimida yakho.

Kungathatha isenzo esithile ngaphambi kokuba uqiniseke kwaye uphinde uhloniphe imida yakho, kodwa ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda:

• Mamela ngovelwano, kodwa yima apho. Ngaphandle kokuba ubandakanyeke kule ngxaki, sukubonelela ngezisombululo okanye uzame ukuzilungisa.
• Ziqhelise ukwala okuthobekileyo. Zama "ndiyaxolisa, kodwa andikhululekanga ngalo mzuzu" okanye "bendikhetha ukuba ndingabubusuku, kodwa ngelinye ixesha."
• Zibuze. Ngaphambi kokuba wenze into, zibuze le mibuzo ilandelayo:
  • Kutheni ndisenza oku?
  • Ngaba ndiyafuna okanye ndiziva ndinyanzelekile?
  • Ngaba oku kuya kumosha naziphi na izibonelelo zam?
  • Ndiza kuba nawo amandla okuhlangabezana neemfuno zam?

Khumbula, unokulawula kuphela izenzo zakho

Ukuzama ukulawula isenzo somnye umntu ngokubanzi akusebenzi. Kodwa ukuba uziva uqinisekisiwe ngamandla akho okuxhasa nokukhathalela iqabane lakho, ukusilela koku kunokukwenza uzive ulusizi.

Ukungabikho kotshintsho kunokukukhathaza. Unokuziva unomsindo okanye udanile ngenxa yokuba iinzame zakho zokunceda zazingenampembelelo. Ezi mvakalelo zinokukushiya uziva ungenanto okanye uzimisele ngakumbi ukuzama nokuba nzima kwaye uqalise umjikelo kwakhona.

Ungayimisa njani le patheni?

Zikhumbuze ukuba uyakwazi ukuzibamba. Unoxanduva lokulawula indlela oziphethe ngayo kunye nendlela ophendula ngayo. Awunaxanduva lokuziphatha kweqabane lakho, okanye omnye umntu.

Ukunika ulawulo kubandakanya ukwamkela ukungaqiniseki. Akukho mntu waziyo ukuba ikamva liphethe ntoni. Oku kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo, ngakumbi ukuba uloyiko lokuba wedwa okanye ukuphulukana nobudlelwane bakho lunegalelo ekuziphatheni okuxhomekekileyo. Kodwa ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lusempilweni, kokukhona kunokwenzeka ukuba luhlale.

Nika inkxaso esempilweni

Akukho nto igwenxa ngokufuna ukunceda iqabane lakho, kodwa kukho iindlela zokwenza njalo ngaphandle kokuncama iimfuno zakho.

Inkxaso esempilweni inokubandakanya:

• Ukuthetha ngeengxaki ukufumana iimbono ezintsha
• ukumamela iingxaki zomntu okanye iqabane lakho
• Ukuxoxa ngezisombululo ezinokubakho nge kubo, kunokuba ye kubo
• unikezela iingcebiso okanye iingcebiso xa ubuzwa, emva koko ubuye umva ubayeke bathathe esabo isigqibo
• inikezela ngovelwano nokwamkeleka

Khumbula, ungabonisa uthando kwiqabane lakho ngokuchitha ixesha kunye nabo kwaye ubekho kubo ngaphandle kokuzama ukulawula okanye ukuqondisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Abalingane kufuneka baxabisane bodwa, hayi oko benzela omnye komnye.

Ziqhelise ukuzixabisa

Ukuxhomekeka kwesidima kunye nokuzithemba okuphantsi kuhlala kunxulunyaniswa. Ukuba unxibelelanisa ukuzixabisa kwakho nokukwazi kwakho ukukhathalela abanye, uhlakulela imvakalelo yokuzixabisa ayenzi kuxhomekeka kubudlelwane bakho nabanye kunokuba ngumceli mngeni.

Kodwa ukwanda kokuzixabisa kunokonyusa ukuzithemba kwakho, ukonwaba kunye nokuzithemba. Konke oku kunokwenza kube lula kuwe ukuveza iimfuno zakho kunye nokuseta imida, zombini ezizezona ziphambili ekoyiseni ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi.

Ukufunda ukuzixabisa kuthatha ixesha. Ezi ngcebiso zinokukubeka kwindlela elungileyo:

• Chitha ixesha nabantu abakuphethe kakuhle. Akusoloko kulula ukushiya ubudlelwane, nokuba sele ukulungele ukuqhubeka. Okwangoku, zijikeleze nabantu abaxabisekileyo kwaye banikezela ukwamkelwa kunye nenkxaso. Nciphisa ixesha lakho nabantu abakukhathaza amandla akho kwaye bathethe okanye benze izinto ezikukhathaza ngawe.
• Yenza izinto ozithandayo. Mhlawumbi ixesha olichithe ujonga abanye likugcinile kwizinto ozithandayo okanye kwezinye izinto onomdla kuzo. Zama ukubekela ecaleni ixesha suku ngalunye lokwenza izinto ezikwenza wonwabe, nokuba kukufunda incwadi okanye ukuthatha uhambo.
• Khathalela impilo yakho. Ukunyamekela umzimba wakho kunokunceda ukuphucula impilo yakho, kwakhona. Qinisekisa ukuba utya rhoqo kwaye ulala ngokwaneleyo ubusuku ngabunye. Ezi ziimfuno ezibalulekileyo ekufanele ukuba uzihlangabeze.
• Makhe uthethe kakubi ngawe. Ukuba uhlala ugxeka ngokwakho, cela umngeni kwaye uphinde uthethe ezi patheni zingalunganga ukuze uziqinisekise endaweni yoko. Endaweni yokuba "Andilunganga," umzekelo, zxelele "ndizama konke okusemandleni am."

Chonga iimfuno zakho

Khumbula, iipatters ezixhomekekileyo zihlala ziqala ebuntwaneni. Isenokuba lixesha elide okoko uyeke ukucinga ngeemfuno kunye neminqweno yakho.

Zibuze ukuba ufuna ntoni ebomini, ngokuzimeleyo kwiminqweno yomnye umntu. Ngaba ufuna ubudlelwane? Usapho? Uhlobo oluthile lomsebenzi? Ukuhlala kwenye indawo? Zama ukushicilela malunga nayo nayiphi na le mibuzo.

Ukuzama imisebenzi emitsha kunokunceda. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ngento oyithandayo, zama izinto onomdla kuzo. Unokufumana ukuba unetalente okanye isakhono ongazange wazi ngaso.

Le ayisiyonto ikhawulezayo. Kungathatha iiveki, iinyanga, okanye neminyaka ukuphuhlisa izimvo eziphathekayo malunga nento oyifunayo kwaye uyifunayo. Kodwa kulungile. Inxalenye ebalulekileyo kukuba ucinga ngayo.

Cinga ngonyango

Iimpawu ezixhomekekileyo zodolo zinokugxininiswa kubuntu nakwindlela yokuziphatha ukuze ube nexesha elinzima lokuziqonda ngokwakho. Nokuba uyaziqaphela, ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi kunokuba nzima ukoyisa isolo.

Ukuba usebenza ukoyisa ukuxhomekeka kwikhowudi, uBiros ucebisa ngokufuna uncedo kumgqirha onamava okusebenza kunye nokuchacha kule ngxaki inzima.

Banokukunceda:

• chonga kwaye uthathe amanyathelo okulungisa iipateni zokuziphatha okuxhomekekileyo
• sebenza ekwandiseni ukuzithemba kwakho
• hlola into oyifunayo ebomini
• ngokutsha kwaye ucele umngeni kwiindlela zokucinga ezingalunganga

UF Fabrizio uthi: "Ukuqhubeka nokubeka ingqalelo ngaphandle kwakho kukubeka kwindawo yokungabi namandla." Ixesha elingaphezulu, oku kunokuba negalelo kwiimvakalelo zokuphelelwa lithemba kunye nokungabikho koncedo, ezinokubangela uxinzelelo.

Ukuxhomekeka kumcimbi ngumba ontsonkothileyo, kodwa ngomsebenzi omncinci, ungawoyisa kwaye uqale ngokwakha ubudlelwane obulunge ngakumbi obuzalisekisa iimfuno zakho, nazo.