Ungathetha njani ngokuzibulala nabantu obathandayo

Umxholo

• Ayililo lonke igama elinokubuyiselwa umva ngokulula-okanye ngexesha
• Ungaze uchaze ukuzibulala njenge
  
• Awunakho ukuthembisa nabani na ukuba uza kuba ngcono
• Endaweni yokuphinda into ethethwe ngomnye umntu, zibuze kuqala
  
• Vumela umnqweno wokuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo yabantu obathandayo ukhokele amazwi akho
• Iinkcukacha manani zempilo yengqondo
  
• Isikhumbuzo: Isifo sengqondo asiyonto enamandla amakhulu

Ungalwenza njani unxibelelwano lomntu nehlabathi.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo ucinga ngokuzibulala, uncedo lukhona. Finyelela kwiNgcaciso yeSizwe yoThintelo lokuBulala ngo-800-273-8255.

Xa kuziwa kwiimeko ezinzima, uyazi njani ukuba ungathini ngaphandle kokukhathaza mntu? Uninzi lwabantu lufunda ngokuphindaphinda amabinzana abone abanye besebenzisa. Oko sikubona kwiindaba, ezisasazeka ngokubanzi kwizigidi, kunokubonakala kulungile ukusebenzisa yonke imihla.

Kodwa kwimicimbi enje ngokuhlaselwa okanye ukuzibulala, inokuthumela umyalezo kubahlobo bethu ukuba asingobalingani babo.

“Kutheni le nto bendingenguye uhlobo lomntu, okanye kutheni ndingabonwa njengohlobo lomntu, abanokuziva bekhululekile ukuzityand 'igila kwaba bafazi? Ndibona oku kusilela kwam. ”

Xa u-Anthony Bourdain watsho oku, beku malunga #MeToo kunye nabafazi ebomini bakhe: Kutheni bengaziva bekhuselekile kuye? Ukuthabatha kwakhe kwakunzima. Akazange akhombe iminwe kubafazi okanye kwinkqubo.

Endaweni yoko, waqonda ukuba isigqibo sabo sokuhlala bethe cwaka sasinenkcazo ngomlinganiswa wakhe. Okanye, ngakumbi, umqondiso wokuba indlela ebeziphethe ngayo ibonakalise kwabasetyhini ukuba akakhuselekanga okanye akathembekanga.

Ndiye ndacinga kakhulu ngovavanyo lwakhe okoko watsho kwaye ukusukela oko epasile. Indenze ndacinga ngakumbi ngendlela amagama azizipili ngayo, abonisa ngayo amaxabiso esithethi, kunye nomntu endinokuzithemba kuye.

Uninzi, kubandakanya abazali bam kunye nabahlobo endibaziyo iminyaka eli-10 nangaphezulu, abalwenzi olu luhlu.

"Yintoni endiyenzileyo, njani ukuba ndizibonakalise ngendlela yokuba ndingazithembi, okanye kutheni bendingenguye umntu onokuthi abonwe njengomlingane wendalo apha? Ndiye ndaqala ke ukujonga loo nto. ” -U-Anthony Bourdain

Xa izinto ziba mnyama kum, andiyi kukhumbula ukuhleka abakuzisileyo. Kuphela ngamagqabantshintshi oluvo lwabo ngokuzibulala: "Kukuzicingela wena wedwa" okanye "Ukuba usisidenge ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungaqala ukuthatha [amayeza amakhulu ka-Pharma], ndiyeke ukuba ngumhlobo wakho." Imemori iphinda iphindwe rhoqo xa bejonga nge "Kwenzeka ntoni, unjani?"

Ngamanye amaxesha ndiyaxoka, ngamanye amaxesha ndithetha iinyaniso ezingaphelelanga, kodwa ndingaze ndithethe inyani epheleleyo. Amaxesha amaninzi, andiphenduli kude kube kuphelile ukudakumba.

Amagama anentsingiselo engaphaya kwenkcazo yawo. Ziqulathe imbali, kwaye ngokusetyenziswa okuphindaphindiweyo kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla, ziba zizivumelwano zentlalo, zibonise amaxabiso ethu kunye nemithetho yangaphakathi esilindele ukuyiphila.

Ayifani kangako "nomgaqo weweyitala": inkolelo yokuba ubuntu butyhilwa yindlela umntu abaphatha ngayo abasebenzi okanye abasebenzi benkonzo. Lo mthetho awufani kangako xa kufikwa ekuthetheni ngokuzibulala kunye noxinzelelo.

Ayililo lonke igama elinokubuyiselwa umva ngokulula-okanye ngexesha

Amanye amagama amiliselwe nzulu kwiimpawu ezimbi zokuba ekuphela kwendlela yokuphepha intsingiselo kukungawasebenzisi. Olunye lotshintsho olulula esinokulwenza kukuphepha ukusebenzisa izichazi. Ngaphandle kokunikela amazwi ovelwano, akukho sizathu sokuba uluvo ngokuzibulala komntu. Kwaye akukho sizathu sokwenza umxholo okanye ukuyichaza, ngakumbi njengendawo yeendaba.

Kunjengokuba isazi sokuzibulala uSamuel Wallace sabhalayo, “Konke ukuzibulala akuyonyanye okanye akunjalo; uphambene okanye hayi; kukuzingca okanye akunjalo; isengqiqweni okanye hayi; Izizathu okanye akunjalo. ”

Ungaze uchaze ukuzibulala njenge

• kukuzingca
• bubudenge
• ligwala okanye buthathaka
• ukhetho
• isono (okanye umntu uya esihogweni)

Oku kubangelwa yimpikiswano yezifundo zokuba ukuzibulala sisiphumo, hayi ukhetho. Yiyo loo nto uninzi lweengcali zokuzibulala ziyavuma ukuba ukuzibulala ayisosigqibo okanye isenzo senkululeko yokuzikhethela.

NGABA UKUGULA NGENGQONDO KUYASUSA INKULUNGWANE YOKUZIMELA?

Kuhlelo lwe-4 lweDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, isifo sengqondo sinento “yokuphulukana nenkululeko.” Kolu hlelo lwamva nje, “ukuphulukana nenkululeko” kutshintshiwe kwaba kukukhubazeka, okanye "ukuphazamiseka kwindawo enye okanye ebalulekileyo ekusebenzeni." Kuthiwa oku kubandakanya imigaqo-nkqubo "yelahleko enye okanye nangaphezulu." Kwisincoko sakhe esithi "," uGerben Meynen uthi into yokuba nesifo sengqondo kukuba amandla omntu okukhetha ezinye izinto ayathathwa.

Kwisincoko sakhe esinovakalelo kwiNew York Post, uBridget Phetasy wabhala ngokukhulela kwindawo apho kwakuqhelekile ukuthetha ngokuzibulala. Ubhala athi, "Ukuhlala nomntu ogrogrisa ngokuzibulala ngenene kwenza ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na eyenziwa yabonakala ngathi yinto onokuyenza."

Kwabo bakucinga ngokuzibulala, kufuneka siqonde ukuba ukuzibulala kuza njengokugqibela kunye nokuphela kwendlela. Bubuxoki obulinganisiweyo. Kodwa xa ukwintlungu engathethekiyo ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwasemzimbeni, xa isiza kwimijikelo kwaye umjikelo ngamnye uziva ngathi ngowona mbi, ukukhululeka kuwo - nokuba kunganjani - kujongeka njengokubaleka.

“Indlela endandikunqwenela ngayo ukukhululeka; ndikhululekile emzimbeni wam, iintlungu, iintlungu. Obo bubhanxa babuhlebeza ama-nothings amnandi kwinxalenye yengqondo yam eyayindixelela ukuba ekuphela kwesisombululo kwiingxaki zam-yayikukufa. Ayisiyiyo kuphela isisombululo-esona sisombululo sisiso. Yayibubuxoki obo, kodwa ngelo xesha, ndandibukholelwa. ” -Bridget Phetasy, yeNew York Post

Awunakho ukuthembisa nabani na ukuba uza kuba ngcono

Ukuzibulala akukhethi. Uxinzelelo alubethi umntu kube kanye kwaye luhamba xa iimeko okanye iimeko zitshintsha. Umtsalane wokubaleka ekufeni awusuki kuba umntu esiba sisityebi okanye ephumeza iinjongo zobomi bonke.

Ukuba ufuna ukuxelela umntu ukuba kuya kuba ngcono, cinga ukuba wenza isithembiso ongenakukwazi ukusigcina. Ngaba uhlala ezingqondweni zabo? Ngaba uyalibona ikamva kwaye ususe iintlungu zabo ngaphambi kokuba zifike?

Intlungu ezayo ayinakulindeleka. Kulapho baya kuba khona ebomini iiveki ezimbini, inyanga, okanye iminyaka emithathu phantsi kwendlela. Ukuxelela umntu ukuba angangcono kunokubangela ukuba bathelekise isiqendu esinye ukuya kwesinye. Xa kungekho nto iphucula ixesha elongezelelweyo, inokukhokelela kwiingcinga ezinje, "Ayisoze ibe ngcono."

Kodwa nangona abanye bekholelwa ukuba ukufa kukodwa akulunganga, imiyalezo abayabelana ngayo, ngakumbi malunga nabantu abadumileyo, ithi ngenye indlela. Njengoko uPhetasy watshoyo, emva kokuphumelela kukaRobin Williams, iAkhademi yoBugcisa beMifanekiso yoBugcisa kunye neNzululwazi yathumela umyalezo othi "Aladdin" uthi, "Genie, ukhululekile."

Oku kuthumela imiyalezo exubileyo.

Ukufa njengenkululeko kunokuba nakhoKuxhomekeka kwimeko kunye nesalathiso, "inkululeko" inokubonwa njengesixhobo kunye nenkuthazo kwabo baphila nokukhubazeka. Kwimeko ye-physicist eyaziwayo uStephen Hawking, abaninzi babhala nge-tweet ukuba ukhululekile emzimbeni wakhe. Oku kukhuthaza uluvo lokuba ukukhubazeka ngumzimba "obanjiweyo".

Kwimeko yokuzibulala, iyaqinisa umyalezo wokuba akukho kuphuncuka ngaphandle kokufa. Ukuba uthenga kolu lwimi kwaye ulusebenzisa, kuyaqhubeka nomjikelo wokuba ukufa sesona sisombululo sisiso.

Nokuba awuyiqondi yonke imikhwa ejikeleze ulwimi, kukho imibuzo onokuthi uyibuze ukuze uzigcine ujonge.

Endaweni yokuphinda into ethethwe ngomnye umntu, zibuze kuqala

• Loluphi uluvo "oluqhelekileyo" endilubethelelayo?
• Ngaba iyakuchaphazela ukuba abahlobo bam beze kum bafuna uncedo?
• Undenza ndizive njani ukuba abandithembi ngokubanceda?

Vumela umnqweno wokuba yindawo ekhuselekileyo yabantu obathandayo ukhokele amazwi akho

Ukuzibulala kungunobangela wesibini okhokelela ekufeni kwabantu abaneminyaka eli-10 ukuya kwengama-34 ubudala. Ikhule ngaphezulu kunango-1999.

Kwaye abantwana bajongana nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo:

Iinkcukacha manani zempilo yengqondo

• I-17.1 yezigidi zabantwana abangaphantsi kwe-18 banesifo sengqondo esichongiweyo
• Iipesenti ezingama-60 zolutsha zinexinzelelo
• I-9,000 (eqikelelweyo) yokunqongophala koochwephesha bezikolo zesikolo

Kwaye oku kuyakuqhubeka nokukhula, ngokucacileyo ngeli nqanaba, kuba akukho sithembiso sinokuba ngcono. Akukho nto ichazayo apho ukhathalelo lwempilo luya khona. Unyango alufikeleleki kwaye alufikeleleki kubantu abaninzi baseMelika abazizigidi ezi-5.3. Isenokuqhubeka ukuba njalo ukuba siyayigcina incoko imile.

Okwangoku, into esinokuyenza ukunciphisa umthwalo wabo sibathandayo xa sinako. Singayitshintsha indlela esithetha ngayo ngempilo yengqondo kunye nabo bachaphazelekayo. Nokuba asimazi umntu ochaphazelekayo ngokuzibulala, sinokuwakhumbula amagama esiwasebenzisayo.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uphile noxinzelelo ukuze ubonakalise ububele, kwaye akufuneki nokuba ube namava obuqu.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungade uthethe kwanto. Ukuzimisela ukuphulaphula amabali kunye neengxaki zomnye nomnye kubalulekile kunxibelelwano lomntu.

“Laugher ayiloyeza lethu. Amabali ayinyanga. Ukuhleka bubusi nje obunencasa kumayeza abukrakra. ” -UHannah Gadsby, "uNanette"

Imfesane esiyithweleyo ngabantu esingabaziyo iya kuthumela umyalezo omkhulu kubantu obathandayo, umntu ongamaziyo uyasokola.

Isikhumbuzo: Isifo sengqondo asiyonto enamandla amakhulu

Ukukwazi ukuvuka yonke imihla ngelixa ilizwe ngaphakathi kwentloko yakho liwa ngaphandle akusoloko liziva ngathi linamandla. Kungumzabalazo oya usiba nzima njengoko ixesha lomzimba liguga kwaye sinolawulo oluncinci kwimpilo yethu.

Ngamanye amaxesha siyadinwa kukuzithwala, kwaye kufuneka sazi ukuba kulungile. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba "sibe" kwiipesenti ezili-100 zexesha.

Kodwa xa indumasi, okanye umntu ohlonitshwayo, esweleka ngokuzibulala, kunokuba nzima ukuba umntu ophantsi koxinzelelo ayikhumbule loo nto. Basenokungabi nawo amandla okulwa ukungazithembi kwangaphakathi kunye needemon.

Ayisiyonto abantu obathandayo ekufuneka beziqhubele ngokwabo. Ukubona ukuba bafuna uncedo ayikho nangayiphi na indlela indlela yokongamela.

Njengomntu ohlekisayo wase-Australia uHannah Gadsby ebeke ngokucocekileyo kwi-Netflix yakhe yakutshanje "uNanette," "Ngaba uyazi ukuba kutheni sine 'oojongilanga'? Kungenxa yokuba uVincent van Gogh wahlupheka [kwisifo sengqondo]. Kungenxa yokuba uVincent van Gogh wayenomntakwabo owayemthanda. Kuzo zonke iintlungu, wayene-tether, unxibelelwano kwihlabathi. ”

Yiba ngumntu wonxibelelwano nehlabathi.

Ngenye imini umntu akazukubhalela. Kulungile ukuvela emnyango wabo kwaye ungene.

Ngaphandle koko, siya kulahleka ngakumbi ekuthuleni nasekuthuleni.

Wamkelekile "Indlela yoBuntu," uthotho lovelwano kunye nendlela yokubeka abantu phambili. Umahluko akufuneki ube ziintonga, nokuba yeyiphi na ibhokisi yoluntu esiyitsalele yona. Yiza ufunde ngamandla wamagama kwaye ubhiyozele amava abantu, nokuba badala kangakanani, ubuhlanga, isini, okanye imeko. Masiphakamise abanye abantu ngentlonipho.