Iindleko eziPhakamileyo zokungachumi: Abasetyhini basemngciphekweni wokuBhengezwa njengongenamali

Umxholo

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Kwiminyaka engama-30 ubudala, u-Ali Barton akufanele abe nayo nayiphi na ingxaki yokukhulelwa kunye nokuzala umntwana ophilileyo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha indalo ayisebenzi kwaye izinto zihamba kakubi-ukuzala kuka-Ali kule meko. Kwiminyaka emihlanu kunye nabantwana ababini kamva, izinto zisebenze ngeyona ndlela imyoli. Kodwa bekukho imiba ephambili apha endleleni, kubandakanywa nebhilikhwe engaphezulu kwe-50,000 yeedola. Uthi abantwana bakhe ababini abahle baxabisa yonke idenariyo, kodwa ngaba kufanelekile ukuba kubize imali engako ukuba nosana? Kwaye kutheni unyango lokuchuma lubiza kangaka?

UAli nomyeni wakhe batshata ekuqaleni kuka-2012 kwaye ngenxa yokuba uneminyaka eyi-11 ubudala bagqiba ekubeni baqale usapho lwabo kwangoko. Enkosi kukuphazamiseka kwe-autoimmune obekufuna unyango lwemihla ngemihla lwe-steroid, khange abenalo ixesha elide. Kodwa wayemncinci kwaye esempilweni ngoko ke waqonda ukuba izinto zizakulunga. Uyemka kwimigangatho yakhe kwaye wazama unyango oluninzi lwehomoni ukukhahlela umjikelo wakhe wokuya esikhathini. Kodwa akukho nto yasebenza. Ekupheleni konyaka wabe ebona ugqirha we-endocrinologist ecebisa ukuba esi sibini sisebenzise unyango lokuzala.

Esi sibini sagqiba kwelokuba siqale sizame i-IUI (inrauterine insemination), inkqubo apho idlozi lendoda lifakwa khona ngqo esibelekweni somfazi ngepayipi. IUI yindlela ebiza ixabiso eliphakathi, elinganiselwa kwi-900 yeedola ngaphandle kweinshurensi. Kodwa amaqanda ka-Ali enziwe abaninzi kakhulu amaqanda, okonyusa umngcipheko wokukhulelwa izihlandlo ezininzi kwaye kunokubangela imingcipheko yempilo kumama nakubantwana. Ke, ugqirha wakhe ucebise ukuba atshintshele kwi-IVF (in vitro fertilization), evumela ulawulo olungaphezulu kwingozi yokukhulelwa okuninzi. Kwi-IVF, ii-ovari zowesifazane ziyakhuthazwa kwezonyango ukuba zenze amaqanda amaninzi athi emva koko avunwe adityaniswe nesidoda kwisitya se-petri. Elinye okanye ngaphezulu kweembumba ezichunyisiweyo ziye zityalwe kwisibeleko sowasetyhini. Inenqanaba eliphezulu lempumelelo-i-10 ukuya kuma-40 eepesenti kuxhomekeke kubudala bukamama-kodwa iza nexabiso eliphezulu kakhulu, elinganiselwa kwi-12 500 yeedola, ukongeza kwi-3,000 okanye kwi-amayeza. (Amaxabiso e-IVF ayohluka ngokommandla, uhlobo, ugqirha, kunye nobudala bukamama. Fumana uqikelelo oluchaneke ngakumbi lokuba ezakho zingabiza malini ngesi sibali-ndleko se-IVF siluncedo.)

UAli wadlula Zine Imijikelezo ye-IVF phantsi konyaka, kodwa yayingumngcipheko ohlawulelwayo.

"Kwakukho ixesha elimnyama, ujikelezo ngalunye luziva lubi ngakumbi nangakumbi," utshilo. "Umjikelo wokugqibela sifumene iqanda elinye elifanelekileyo, amathuba ebemancinci kakhulu, kodwa ngendlela engummangaliso isebenze kwaye ndikhulelwe."

Kwimeko eyoyikisayo yeziganeko, phakathi ekukhulelweni, u-Ali wangena ekusweleni kwentliziyo. Unyana wakhe wazalwa ngaphambi kwexesha kwaye wayefuna ukufakelwa intliziyo emva koko, kodwa bobabini basinda ngovuyo.

Kodwa ngelixa umama kunye nosana babeqhuba kakuhle, amatyala ayelokhu esanda. Ngethamsanqa ii-Bartons, zihlala eMassachusetts ezinomthetho oyalela ukuba unyango lokungachumi luzogqitywa ngabashurensi bezempilo. (Ngamazwe ali-15 kuphela anemithetho efanayo ezincwadini.) Sekunjalo, kwanakwi-inshorensi yezempilo, izinto zazibiza imali eninzi.

Kwaye emva koko bagqiba kwelokuba bafuna ukuba nomntwana wesibini. Ngenxa yeengxaki zempilo zika-Ali, oogqirha bacebisa ukuba angaphinde akhulelwe. Ke uBartons wagqiba kwelokuba asebenzise umntwana wabo ngokwesivumelwano. Kwi-surrogacy, ii-embryos ezichumileyo zenziwe kusetyenziswa inkqubo efanayo ne-IVF. Kodwa endaweni yokuzifaka kwisibeleko sikanina, zifakwa kwisibeleko somnye umfazi. Kwaye iindleko zinokubakho ngeenkwenkwezi.

Ii-arhente ze-Surrogacy zinokubiza i-$ 40K ukuya kwi-$ 50K nje ukutshatisa abazali kunye nomntu obambeleyo. Emva koko, abazali kufuneka bahlawule intlawulo ye-surrogate--$25K ukuya kwi-$50K ngokuxhomekeke kumava kunye nendawo. Ukongeza, kuya kufuneka bathenge unyaka wobomi kunye ne-inshurensi yezonyango kwi-surrogate ($ 4K), bahlawule ukuhanjiswa kwe-IVF kwisigunyaziso esinokubakho ngaphezulu komjikelo omnye ($ 7K ukuya kwi- $ 9K kumjikelo ngamnye), bahlawule amayeza abo bobabini umama onikelayo kunye ne-surrogate ($ 600 ukuya kwi- $ 3K, kuxhomekeke kwi-inshurensi), ukuqesha amagqwetha abo bobabini abazali be-biological kunye ne-surrogate (malunga ne-10K yeedola), kwaye bagubungele iimfuno ezincinci zommeleli njengesibonelelo sempahla kunye Imali yokupaka utyelelo kugqirha. Kwaye ke, oko akubala imali efunekayo ukuthenga izinto eziqhelekileyo ezifana ne-crib, isihlalo semoto kunye nempahla xa umntwana efika.

U-Ali wayenethamsanqa kuba wakwazi ukufumana u-surrogate wakhe, u-Jessica Silva, ngeqela le-Facebook kwaye weqa imali ye-arhente. Kodwa kwakusafuneka bayihlawule enye epokothweni. IiBartons ziye zacoca ukonga kwazo kwaye amalungu osapho anesisa anikele ngeseleyo.

UJessica wazala umntwana uJessie ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka kwaye ukulungele ukuzincama konke, utshilo uAli. (Ewe, abakwaBartons bathiya intombi yabo ngegama leqabane elaliyithwele, besithi bayithanda njengentsapho.) Sekunjalo, nangona belufumana ngolonwabo olungapheliyo, akulula.

“Bendisoloko ndisonga kodwa la mava andifundise indlela ekubaluleke ngayo ukuchitha imali kwizinto ezibalulekileyo, njengosapho lwethu,” utshilo. “Asiphili ubomi obutofotofo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo iiBartons ayizizo zodwa ezisokolayo ngexabiso eliphezulu lonyango lokungachumi. Malunga neepesenti ezili-10 zabasetyhini basokola ngokungabikho komntwana, ngokutsho kweOfisi yase-US kwiMpilo yabasetyhini. Kwaye elo nani kulindeleke ukuba linyuke njengoko umyinge weminyaka yokuzala ukhula. Ngelixa ubudala buka-Ali yayingengonobangela wokuzala kwakhe, kunjalo ngu Isizathu esikhulayo e-US Ngo-2015, iipesenti ezingama-20 zeentsana zazalelwa kwabasetyhini abangaphezulu kweminyaka engama-35, ubudala xa umgangatho weqanda uyehla ngokuphawulekayo kwaye isidingo sonyango lokuchuma siyanda kakhulu.

Abasetyhini abaninzi abayiqondi le nto, enkosi ngokuyinxenye kwinkcubeko yethu yosaziwayo eyenza ukuba iintsana zobomi bamva zibukeke zilula okanye eziqaqambisa unyango lokuzala kunye ne-surrogacy njengolonwabo lokwenyani bonisa imigca yeqhinga (hello Kim kunye noKanye) kunokuba ibe yezemali kwaye Iziganeko ezinzima ngokweemvakalelo, utsho uSherry Ross, MD, ob-gyn kwiZiko lezeMpilo le-Providence Saint John eSanta Monica, CA, kunye nombhali we I-She-ology.

"Ngenxa yemidiya yoluntu, sibona abantwana abaneminyaka engama-46 ubudala bezala amawele kwaye kuyalahlekisa. Mhlawumbi ayingawo amaqanda abo. Unefestile yokuzala ephela malunga neminyaka engama-40, kwaye emva koko, izinga lokuphuma kwesisu liphelile. 50 pesenti,” uyacacisa.

"Ibe luhlobo lwentetho emfazini ukuba athi ufuna ukuba nosapho ngaphambi kokuba asebenze. Siyakhuthazwa ukuba sibe nale 'ukuba kufanelekile ukuba yenzeke iya kwenzeka', xa inyani kukuba Unokuba ngumsebenzi omninzi, ukuzincama, kunye nemali ukuze ube nosana. Kuya kufuneka uthathe isigqibo sokuba uyafuna na abantwana. Kwaye ukuba uyakwenza oko, kungcono ukuba uyicwangcise, utshilo. “Sifundisa abasetyhini okuninzi malunga nokucwangcisa ukuthintela ukukhulelwa, kodwa emva koko sibafundisa phantse kwanto malunga nokucwangcisa ye enye kuba asifuni kubacaphukisa? Ayizopolitiko, yinzululwazi. "

Wongeza ukuba oogqirha kufuneka babe ngaphambili ngakumbi kwizigulana zabo malunga nayo yonke imiba yocwangciso-ntsapho, kubandakanya amazinga empumelelo kunye neendleko zelizwe lokwenyani kwiinketho ezinje ngebhanki yeqanda, unyango lokuzala, amadlozi okanye abanikela ngeqanda, kunye nokubeleka.

Kodwa elona candelo linzima ku-Ali ngokwezezimali yayingeyiyo imali ngokwayo, yayiyimpembelelo yeemvakalelo. "Kwakunzima ngenene ukubhala itsheki rhoqo ngenyanga [kuSilva] kwinto endivakalelwa kukuba ngendikwazi ukuyenza ngokwam, utshilo. "Kuyenzakalisa xa umzimba wakho ungakwazi ukwenza into ekufanele ukuba uyenzile."

U-Ali, owayengugqirha ngaphambi kokuba afumane abantwana, uthi uziva ngathi une-PTSD kuyo yonke inkqubo yokuzala, wongeza ukuba ngenye imini angathanda ukuvula isenzo esenzelwe ukunceda abantu kuyo yonke into yokuphuma kunye nokuzala. unyango.

Ukuze ufunde okungakumbi ngebali lika-Ali, jonga incwadi yakhe ngokuchasene neMiyalelo kaGqirha.

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