Ndaphulukana Nomlenze Wam Ngenxa Yomhlaza — Ndaza Ndaba NguMzekelo Womntu Obalaseleyo

Umxholo

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Andikhumbuli indlela endaphendula ngayo xa ndafunda, kwiminyaka eli-9 ubudala, ukuba umlenze wam uzakunqunyulwa, kodwa ndinomfanekiso ocacileyo ngokwam wokulila ngelixa ndiqhutywa yivili kule nkqubo. Ndandimncinci ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndazi ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kodwa ndimncinci kakhulu ukuba ndingaziqonda zonke iimpembelelo zokuphulukana nomlenze wam. Andizange ndiqonde ukuba andizukwazi ukugoba umlenze wam ukuze ndihlale ngasemva kwi-roller coaster okanye ndikhethe imoto elula ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndingene kwaye ndiphume.

Kwiinyanga nje ezimbalwa ngaphambilana, ndandingaphandle ndidlala ibhola ekhatywayo nodade wethu xa ndaphuka ifama lam—ingozi eyaneleyo. Ndabalekiselwa esibhedlele for utyando kwangoko ukulungisa ikhefu. Kwiinyanga ezine kamva, kwakungapholi, kwaye oogqirha babesazi ukuba kukho into engalunganga: Ndine-osteosarcoma, uhlobo lomhlaza wamathambo, yiyo le nto yenze buthathaka ubufazi bam kwasekuqaleni. Ndadibana neengcali ze-oncologists kwaye ngokukhawuleza ndaqalisa imijikelo emininzi ye-chemo, eyandiphatha kakubi kakhulu umzimba wam. Ngomhla wotyando lwam lokusikwa, ndicinga ukuba ndinobunzima obumalunga neekhilogram ezili-18 [malunga neepawundi ezingama-40]. Ngokucacileyo, ndandikhathazekile kukuba ndiza kuphulukana nelungu lomzimba, kodwa ndandisele ndingqongwe ngumonzakalo omkhulu kangangokuba ukunqunyulwa umzimba kwabonakala njengenyathelo elilandelayo lendalo.

Ekuqaleni, ndandilungile ngomlenze wam wokufakelwa-kodwa zonke zatshintsha nje ukuba ndibethe ulutsha. Ndandihamba kuyo yonke imiba yomfanekiso womzimba ulutsha oluhlala lukhona, kwaye bendisokola ukwamkela umlenze wam wokufakelwa. Zange ndinxibe iimpahla ezimfutshane kunokufika emadolweni kuba ndandisoyika ukuba abantu baza kucinga ntoni okanye bathini. Ndikhumbula kanye umzuzu apho abahlobo bam bandinceda ukuba ndidlule kuloo nto; besisecaleni kwe pool bendishushu kakhulu ndinxibe ushoti wam omde nezihlangu. Omnye wabahlobo bam wandikhuthaza ukuba ndinxibe ibhulukhwe emfutshane yakhe. Ngovalo, ndenze njalo. Abazange bandenze nto, yaye ndaqalisa ukukhululeka. Ndikhumbula imvakalelo eyahlukileyo yenkululeko, ngokungathi ubunzima bususwe kum. Idabi langaphakathi endandisilwa lalinyibilika ngokunxiba nje ibhulukhwe emfutshane. Amaxesha amancinci anje-xa abahlobo bam kunye nosapho bakhetha ukungangxoli ngam okanye inyani yokuba ndandihlukile-ndacothisa kancinci kwaye bandinceda ukuba ndikhululeke ngomlenze wam wokufakelwa.

Khange ndiyiqale i-Instagram yam ngenjongo yokusasaza uthando lwakho. Njengabantu abaninzi, bendifuna nje ukwabelana ngeefoto zam zokutya kunye nezinja kunye nabahlobo. Ndikhule nabantu behlala bendixelela indlela endikhuthaza ngayo-kwaye bendisoloko ndingenaxhala ngayo. Zange khe ndizijonge njengoyena ukhuthazayo kuba bendisenza nje into ekufuneka ndiyenzile.

Kodwa i-Instagram yam yafumana ingqalelo enkulu. Ndathumela iifoto ukusuka kuvavanyo lovavanyo endilwenzileyo ngethemba lokutyikitya ngearhente yokumodela, kwaye yahamba yintsholongwane. Ndihambile ukusuka kwi-1,000 ndaya kubalandeli be-10,000 phantse ubusuku bonke kwaye ndafumana isindululo sezimvo ezilungileyo kunye nemiyalezo kunye nemithombo yeendaba efikelela kudliwanondlebe. Ndavele ndonganyelwa yimpendulo.

Emva koko, abantu baqala ukundithumelela imiyalezo yabo iingxaki. Ngendlela engaqhelekanga, ukuva amabali abo kwandinceda ngendlela endincedileyo ngayo kubo. Ndikhuthazwa yiyo yonke impendulo, ndaqala ukuvula ngakumbi kwizithuba zam. Kwiinyanga ezimbini ezidlulileyo, ndabelana ngezinto kwi-Instagram yam endakha ndacinga ukuba ndingabelana nabantu ngenene, abasondeleyo kum. Kancinci, ndiye ndabona ukuba kutheni abantu besithi ndiyabakhuthaza: Ibali lam lingaqhelekanga, kodwa kwangaxeshanye lihlangana nabantu abaninzi. Banokuphulukana nelungu lomzimba, kodwa bayasokola nokungazithembi, uhlobo oluthile lobunzima, okanye abagula ngengqondo okanye ngokwasemzimbeni, kwaye bafumana ithemba kuhambo lwam. (Jonga kwakhona: Endikufundileyo malunga nokubhiyozela iiNcinci emva kokuphuma kwelori)

Isizathu sokuba ndifune ukungena kwimodeli kukuba abantu abahlali bejonga njengoko besenza kwiifoto. Ndizazi ngokwam ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zokungakhuseleki ezivela xa abantu bezithelekisa nale mifanekiso ingeyonyani- bendifuna ukuyisebenzisa wam umfanekiso ukujongana naloo nto. (Eyeleleneyo: I-ASOS ibonise ngokuzolileyo iModeli yoMntu kwiPhulo labo elitsha le-Activewear) Ndicinga ukuba ithetha kakhulu xa ndinokusebenzisana neempawu ezisebenzisa uhlobo olunye lwemodeli kodwa zifuna ukubandakanya iyantlukwano. Ngokubanomlenze wam wokufakelwa, ndingazibandakanya nabo ekuphuhliseni le ncoko ngakumbi, kwaye ndincede abanye abantu bamkele izinto ezenza ukuba bahluke nabo.

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