Gcina Isithukuthezi Ngaphandle Kwegumbi lokulala

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, kwakukho umbane, inkanuko, kunye nesondo-imihla ngemihla, ukuba kungekhona ngeyure! Kwiminyaka kamva, kulucelomngeni ukukhumbula ixesha lokugqibela nihamba ze kunye. (NgoLwesine ophelileyo-okanye linda, bekuyinyanga ephelileyo?) Akumangalisi ukuba awukhumbuli: Uninzi lwezibini ezizinikeleyo aziwafudumezi amashiti kakhulu njengoko bebefudula besenza, ngokufuthi ngenxa yokuba abafazi baphulukene nomnqweno. Kolunye uhlolisiso olubandakanya amabhinqa amalunga ne-1 000, abaphandi bafumanise ukuba ama-65 ekhulwini abo bathandana isithuba esingangonyaka okanye ngaphantsi baye bathi bafuna ukuba neentlobano zesini ngokufuthi, xa kuthelekiswa nama-26 ekhulwini kuphela amabhinqa awayetshate kangangeminyaka emithathu. Ngaphandle kokuthatha umthwalo kubomi bakho bothando, ukungabikho komdla kwisini ziindaba ezimbi kwimpilo yakho. "Izifundo ezininzi zibonisa ukuba abantu abanesondo elisebenzayo banesifo sentliziyo, ukwanda kwesibindi, kunye namandla omzimba," utshilo uBeverly Whipple, Ph.D., umphandi wezesondo eVorhees, eNew Jersey, kunye nombhali Inzululwazi ye-Orgasm. Nazi izizathu ezintandathu zobomi bokwenyani zokuba umnqweno wakho wesini usenokuba uye wehla, kwaye iindlela ezilula zokukunceda ukuba ubuyele ekunxibelelaneni necala lakho lokwenyama.

"Ndixinezelekile."

Amanqanaba oxinzelelo oluphezulu angaluphazamisa uthando. Uxinzelelo lukhulisa imveliso yehomoni yokulwa okanye yokubhabha efana necortisol, eyeka impendulo yokuphumla eyimfuneko kumanqanaba okuqala okuvuka, utshilo uMyrtle Wilhite, MD, umphandi wezempilo yezesondo eMadison, eWisconsin. Ukunciphisa iihomoni zoxinzelelo, cinezela ubuncinci imizuzu engama-30 yokuzivocavoca ngosuku-kwaye ukuba kunokwenzeka, cwangcisa umthambo wakho kufutshane nexesha oceba ukuya kulo. Abaphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseBritish Columbia bafumanisa ukuba abafazi baye bavuseleleka ngakumbi xa bebukele ifilimu evuselela inkanuko xa bezilolonge imizuzu engama-20 ngaphambili. "Nokuba uhamba ngokukhawuleza kunokukunceda uvule ngokukhawuleza ngokukhulisa ukuhamba kwegazi, okunyusa uvakalelo," ucacisa uWilhite. Ibhonasi: Ukwabelana ngesondo yinto enkulu yoxinzelelo kunye. "Uya kuziva ukhululekile emva kokuba wenze uthando ngenxa yokuba i-orgasms inyusa amanqanaba ehomoni ezolileyo i-oxytocin, eyenza imvakalelo epholileyo, neyobuthongo," utshilo u-Anita Clayton, MD, unjingalwazi kwisebe lezengqondo kunye ne-neurobehavioral sciences. IYunivesithi yaseVirginia kunye nombhali we Ukwaneliseka: Abasetyhini, isondo, kunye nokufuna uBudlelwane.

"Ndidikiwe sisini. Ndingathanda ukubukela imovie emnandi."

Zimbalwa izinto ezinokuthi zihlaziye ukuthanda kwakho, ewe, inkanuko ngempumelelo ngakumbi kunokwazi ukuba unencopho engaphambi kwakho. Ukuvelisa i-orgasms eyomeleleyo kunye neyonwabisayo yenye yezibonelelo zokusebenzisa umthambo we-pelvic rhoqo, isilingi semisipha exhasa isinyi, urethra, kunye nelungu lobufazi. (Zizihlunu ezifanayo ezikuvumela ukuba uyeke ukuhamba komchamo phakathi.) Olunye uphononongo oluvela kwiJenali ye-Clinical Psychiatry yafumanisa ukuba abasetyhini abanemigangatho yeepilvic ebuthathaka babengenamathuba okuba ne-orgasms kunaleyo yomeleleyo. Nantsi indlela yokunika ezi zihlunu, eziya buthathaka ngokuthe ngcembe kunye nobudala, ukuzilolonga, okwaziwa njengeeKegels: Khawufane ucinge umgangatho wakho we-pelvic njengelifti enyuka iinqwelomoya ezine, inqanaba eliphezulu lisinqeni sakho. Phakamisa kwaye ucinezele ukuya phezulu kumgangatho ngamnye, ubambe okwesibini kuyo yonke "stop." Uze uhle kwakhona, umgangatho ube mnye ngexesha. Ukufumana iziphumo eziphezulu, phinda i-10 amaxesha amabini okanye kathathu ngosuku.

Ukuqhubela phambili ukuvuselela umnqweno, cinga ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Zama ukubuyisela ubutsha beentsuku zakho zokuqala zokuthandana ngokwenza into eyahlukileyo kunye. Eyona misebenzi ibalaseleyo yileyo ifumana ukumpompa i-adrenaline, njengokukhwela i-roller coaster, ukufunda ukusefa, okanye nokubukela umdlalo ozele yimincili. "Ukufumana ukukhawuleza kwentliziyo kukukhuthaza, ukwandisa uxhulumaniso lwakho ngokwesondo," kusho uTerri Orbuch, Ph.D., uprofesa ophando kwiYunivesithi yaseMichigan.

"Ingaphambili lakhe lifuna umsebenzi. Khange ndivule."

Ukungena nje phantsi kwesigqubuthelo kunokulungela yena, kodwa uninzi lwabasetyhini ludinga ukufudunyezwa okungaphezulu. Injongo yakho? Ukufumana kwakhona olo langazelelo wawunalo xa wawuqala ukudibana. Makulindelwe ulindelo kunye nexesha lokutya okanye isincoko esidala. "Yenze into yokuba uchukumise iqabane lakho rhoqo, nokuba uyamdlula epasejini okanye udlale ngempama yakhe," ucebisa uLana Holstein, MD, ingcali yezesondo eqhuba inkqubo yezibini eMiraval Spa eTucson, Arizona. Xa ukwigumbi lokulala, jonga ngaphaya kweendawo zokuzonwabisa eziqhelekileyo. "Ukuvuselela iindlebe kunye nentamo kunokuvuselela kakhulu," kusho uWhipple. Zama ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zonxibelelwano, njengokukrokra kunye nokuthambisa.

"Ndifumene ubunzima kutshanje kwaye andiziva ngathi ndonwabile."

Kuqhelekile ukucinga ukuba awunqweneleki xa uphethe iiponti ezimbalwa. Kodwa kholwa okanye ungakholelwa, iqabane lakho mhlawumbi alibonanga. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ukhumbule ukuba unomtsalane, utshilo u-Orbuch. Zama ubuchule bokuzithemba bokuzithemba ngalo lonke ixesha ujonga esipilini: Chonga ubuncinci beempawu ezintlanu ozithandayo, nokuba zincinci kangakanani. Uyawathanda amathole akho amile kakuhle? Usikelele ngeehips ezijikajikayo? Ukugcina ezi mpawu engqondweni kuyakonyusa ukuzithemba komzimba wakho- "ke ungathini xa ndinokuya ngosayizi? Ndinezidlele ezimangalisayo" -kukunceda uzive ukhululekile kulusu lwakho (ze).

"Sixakeke kakhulu."

Kweli xesha lokuba ngumzali weqela kunye neeyure ezingama-60 zomsebenzi-iiveki, kuya kuba nzima ukuhlala uqhagamshelwe. Kodwa uphando lwakutshanje oluvela kwiYunivesithi yaseArizona lubonisa ukuba izibini ezitshatileyo zikhanukelana ngakumbi ngamaxesha okuhlangana okukhulu ngokweemvakalelo. Enye indlela yokuqala ukuqhagamshela kwakhona kukuthatha umabonwakude ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala: Ababini ngaphandle kwabo babelana ngesondo kabini ngokufuthi njengabo nabo, ngokophando lwase-Italiya. Sebenzisa ixesha lakho lokulala phambi kokuba uthethe endaweni yoko, ucebisa unjingalwazi weYunivesithi yaseMinnesota uPaul Rosenblatt, Ph.D., umbhali we Ababini ebhedini. "Xa amaqabane enxibelelana, ayachukumisana ngakumbi, oko kungakhokelela kwisondo," ucacisa. Kuya kufuneka uzame ukubaleka amaxesha ambalwa ngonyaka, nokuba ungaya ehotele kwisixeko sakho. “Xa uphumle ngakumbi kwaye unexesha elikhululekileyo, uya kuba neentlobano zesini ngakumbi,” uyachaza u-Alice Domar, Ph.D., isazi ngengqondo kwi-Beth Israel Deaconness Medical Centre eBoston.

> "Akabonakali kuyo."

Akufanelanga ukuba amadoda acinge ngesondo, njengayo yonke imizuzwana emihlanu? Ngoko kutheni kubonakala ngathi usoloko ejonga ie-mail okanye ubukele umabonwakude kunokuba akurhwebeshele kwigumbi lokulala? Iingxaki eofisini okanye amaxhala emali yakho zinokuchaphazela inkanuko yakhe yesini, utshilo uHolstein. “Amadoda amaxesha amaninzi awathethisani ngezinto eziwakhathazayo, ngoko usenokungaqondi nokuba kukho undonakele,” ucacise watsho. "Kodwa ukuba ugcina izinto kuwe, unokuziva ukude ngokwasemoyeni nangokwasemzimbeni." Mbuze imibuzo ukuze avuleleke; ukuthetha ngezinto ezimxhalabisayo kuya kumnceda aqonde ukuba akuyomfuneko ukuba azicombulule eyedwa. Enye ingcaciso yokunciphisa i-libido yakhe: Ukuba ubusala ukuqhubela phambili kwakhe mva nje, unokudideka. Akukho mntu ufuna ukwaliwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, utshilo uHolstein. "Emva kwexesha ufumanisa ukuba awunamdla, kwaye uyayeka ukuzama rhoqo." Ukuba iqabane lakho licebisa ngesondo xa ungekho kulo, sukumphikisa ngokuqinisekileyo. Endaweni yoko, cela ukujongwa kwemvula kwaye ufumane ixesha elinokuba ngcono kuwe-njengokuvusa isiqingatha seyure ngaphambili kwiseshoni evuselelayo phakathi kwee-sheet ngaphambi kokusebenza.

Uphengululo lwe