Ukufunda indlela yokuyeka

Umxholo

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Awunokwazi ukumyeka umntu othandana naye, unqwenela ukuba ngewuchithe ixesha elincinane emsebenzini kwaye ube nexesha elingakumbi nabantwana, unegunjana eligcwele iimpahla ezingakulinganiyo-kodwa awukwazi ukunyamezela ukwahlukana nayo. . Zifana ngantoni ezi meko? URyan Howes, Ph.D., ugqirha wengqondo ePasadena, California. Siye sabhenela kwiingcali ukuze sifumane ezona ndlela zilungileyo zokudlula kwimiba ephambili: Umsindo, ukuzisola, iex yakho kunye nempahla engakufanelanga. Ukufunda indlela yokuyeka ukuhamba akukho lula, kodwa kuyamangalisa ukwanelisa, kukushiya unendawo ebomini bakho into engcono ngakumbi.

Indlela Yokuyeka Umsindo

Ngelixa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nomsindo xa umntu ekonile, iba yimpilo xa ungakwazi ukuyeka ukuyilawula. Ukuphinda-phinda ngengqondo ukuphinda ulwaphulo-mthetho ngumjikelo ongapheliyo oqinisa nje ingqumbo yakho kwaye akuphelise namandla, utshilo uSonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., umphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseCalifornia, eRiverside.

Abaphandi bacebisa ukuba ubhale phantsi yonke into eyenzekileyo kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngayo. "Isenzo sokubeka amagama ephepheni siyakunyanzela ukuba ubuye umva, ube nenjongo ngakumbi, kwaye ubhale iimvakalelo zakho, utshilo uLyubomirsky. "Ukungena kwimowudi yohlalutyo kwenza ukuba isehlo singabi sesobuqu kwaye ikuvumela ukuba uqonde izizathu zaso ukuze usiyeke sihambe."

INDLELA YOKUZONWABISA: Iimfihlo ezisi-7 zabantu abahlala bekhona

Indlela Yokuyeka Ukuzisola

Bambalwa abantu abadlula ebomini ngaphandle kokuzibuza malunga nendlela engathathwanga okanye abanqwenela ukuba benze isigqibo esahlukileyo kwindlela ebaluleke kakhulu. "Leyo yinxalenye yokuba ngumntu," utshilo uCaroline Adams Miller, umbhali Ukudala obona Bomi baKho bhetele. Uqikelelo lwesibini luqala kwiminyaka yakho engama-20 ngaphezulu kwezinto ezinje ngokungenzi ubudlelwane okanye ukukhetha eyona nto iphosakeleyo ekholejini. Kwaye nakwiminyaka yobomi obuphakathi, amathandabuzo akho kunokwenzeka ukuba abe malunga nokhetho oludlulileyo-ukuba awuyekanga umsebenzi ongonelisiyo iminyaka ngaphambili okanye ube nabantwana usemncinci."

Ukuba uzifumana uhlala ubuza, "Kuthekani ukuba?" luphawu lokuba kukho into engekhoyo ebomini bakho, kwaye kufuneka ucinge ngokumamela loo maphupha emini, utsho uMiller. Umzekelo, ukuba uyazikhaba ukuba uzinze ukufumana umsebenzi ozinzileyo endaweni yokulandela uthando lwakho lokudlala, zama imveliso kwindawo yaseshashalazini yasekuhlaleni kwaye ubone ukuba kwenzeka ntoni.

KANINZI: Ungazi njani ukuba lixesha lokwenza utshintsho olukhulu kubomi

Ayizizo zonke iintlungu ezilula ukuziyeka. UMiller uthi kwiimeko apho ungenakho ukubuyela umva ngexesha kwaye wenze yonke into ilunge, kuya kufuneka uqaphele ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho ngalo mzuzu. Kodwa ungazivumeli ukuba ukhuphe ikhonkco ngokupheleleyo. "Yilaa ntlungu yokuziva unetyala esinceda ukuba sibe ngumntu ongcono," utshilo uMiller. "Mhlawumbi lukhona uhlobo lwenyathelo onokuthi uluthathe ngoku ukulungisa izinto."

Ungaziyeka Njani iimvakalelo nge-Ex yakho

Ubudlelwane obudlulileyo buhlala buziva ngathi kukufa ngokukaTerri Orbuch, umbhali we Amanyathelo ama-5 alula okuThatha uMtshato wakho ukusuka kokuLungileyo ukuya kokuKhulu. "Enye yezona zinto kunzima ukuzamkela kukuphela kobudlelwane bezothando," utshilo. Kwaye, ngentliziyo nengqondo yakho idliwe yi-ex yakho, akukho thuba lokuba ufumane umfana omangalisayo olandelayo.

Ukuba usathandana nesithandwa sakho esidala, msuse ebomini bakho. Okokuqala, lahla zonke izinto onazo ezikukhumbuza ngaye. Yenza inqaku lokuphepha ii-haunts zakho ezindala kwaye uzame ukubuyisela amasiko owenzileyo njengesibini esitsha.

Emva koko, u-Orbuch uthi, zibuze ukuba ingaba umkhumbula nyhani na okanye ulilolo. Uvavanye: Bhala phantsi iimpawu ezintlanu ezibalulekileyo kuwe kwaye ubone ukuba ziyahambelana na noko wayeza kukunika kona. "Ixesha elininzi, umntu wakho wangaphambili ebengenayo into oyifunayo noyifunayo," utshilo u-Orbuch. Ngaba awuqinisekanga? Buza abahlobo bakho kunye nosapho uluvo lwabo. U-Orbuch uthi: “Sithanda ukulibala izinto ezimbi kwaye sijonge kwizinto ezilungileyo. "Kodwa abanye abantu ebomini bethu abayenzi."

UMBUZO: Ngaba uwedwa okanye ulilolo?

Ungaziyeka Njani iimpahla ezingakulungelanga

Unokucinga ukuba ikhabethe eligcwele iimpahla ezimncinci kakhulu kukukhuthaza ukuba ulahlekelwe ziiponti ezili-10 -kodwa ngokuchaseneyo. "Obo bhulukhwe bukhulu bu-6 obuya kujongeka buhle xa unciphisa umzimba bumalunga nekamva eliqikelelweyo apho ucekeceke kuwe," utshilo uPeter Walsh, umbhali Kukhanyisele: Thanda into onayo, ube nento oyifunayo, wonwabe ngokuncinci. "Kodwa bakukhokelela ekubeni uzive ngathi usilele." Ukugcina iseti "yeempahla ezinamanqatha" kukwahlisa isilinganiselo ngokulinganayo, ucebise ukuba ungatyeba nangaliphi na ixesha.

Isisombululo asikho isayensi ye-rocket. "Yiya kuyo yonke into," utshilo uWalsh. "Zibuze, 'Ngaba oku kongeza ixabiso ebomini bam ngoku?' "Yiba noburhalarhume. Ukuba impendulo nguhayi, nikela ngayo. Ngokususa iimpahla ezinqwenelekayo, ukhulula indawo yeziqwenga ezenza ukuba umzimba wakho wangoku ubonakale umangalisa.

YENZA I-CLOSET YAKHO: Lungiselela ikhabethe lakho kunye nobomi bakho

Okungakumbi kwindlela yokuyeka:

"" Emva Koqhawulo-mtshato Wam Andizange Ndiphambane. Ndazomelela. " UJoanne Ulahlekelwe ngeeponti ezingama-60.

•Ukufunda njani kwiimpazamo zakho

Ukuba wenza into ibenye kule nyanga… Cima iselfowuni yakho

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