Iingcebiso ezili-13 zokuphulula amaphambili kwiSeshini yeSolo eVuthela Ingqondo

Umxholo

• 1. Ipensile kuyo.
• 2. Ukucinezeleka kwangaphambili.
• 3. Thatha ukroba.
• 4. Uyilo lomhla wakho.
• 5. Gcoba.
• 6. Tyala imali kwi-vibrator.
• 7. Gxila kwiindlela ezincinci zolonwabo.
• 8. Yenza amaphupha akho emini abe mdaka.
• 9. Phonononga ubugcisa obuvuselela inkanuko yesini.
• 10. Naka umzimba wakho uphela.
• 11. Cotha isantya.
• 12. Tshintsha ubuchule bakho.
• 13. Phefumla.
• Uphengululo lwe

Kulungile, kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhe wazichukumisa ngaphambili, nokuba sele uhlala kwisitya ngexesha lokuphanda kolutsha. Oko bekutshiwo, uninzi lwabantu abazalwe benesini alazi nyani indlela yokuphulula amalungu esini, makungabikho namnye ofikelela kwi-O epheleleyo bebodwa.

Kwaye, inxenye yesizathu luhlobo lokucaphuka. "Uluntu lufundisa abafazi ukuba ulonwabo lwakhe lubalulekile kuphela kumxholo wokunika iqabane eliyindoda ulonwabo - kwaye oku akuyonyani. Ukuzonwabisa ngokuzimela ngenye yezinto ezixhobisayo kunye neengqungquthela ezinokwenziwa ngumfazi kweli hlabathi, "utsho. URena McDaniel, M.Ed., ugqirha wezokwabelana ngesondo eChicago.

Ukufunda ngendlela yokuphulula amalungu esini kunokukhulisa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nolonwabo lwakho. Kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke loo nto: Inokukunceda ufumane into oyenzayo kwaye ungayithandi wedwa, ethi yona ikwenze kube lula kuwe ukuba wonwabe- kwaye uphume-kunye neqabane (okanye ezimbini ... okanye ezintathu ... nantoni na edada isikhephe sakho!). (Kwaye akufuneki ulibale malunga nezibonelelo ze-epic zokuphulula amalungu esini, nayo.)

Kwaye ukuba khange uzichukumise kwiminyaka (mhlawumbi ukusukela emtshatweni okanye ukuba nabantwana), usenokufuna isifundo esitsha sendlela yokuzicofa umnwe, nayo-leyo, iBTW, iqhelekile. "Imizimba yethu iyakhula, iyatshintsha, kwaye iyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha, kwaye ukuphulula amalungu esini kunokuba yindlela yokunxibelelana nokuhlala siqhelana nemizimba yethu kunye nolonwabo, utshilo uJennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., ugqirha wezentlalontle kunye nomcebisi kwezobudlelwane kunye nobudlelwane eSan. UDiego.

Ukuba awuzange ube nethamsanqa ngeseshoni yedwa, khumbula: Akukho mntu ufumana isikhuni emva kohambo olunye ukuya ejimini. Okukhona usenza, kokukhona uya kufunda hayi nje ngendlela yokuphulula amalungu esini kodwa nendlela yokuphulula amaphambili wena, uthi u-Emily Morse, i-sex therapist kunye nomphathi we-podcast Ukwabelana ngesondo noEmily. "Cinga ngayo njengomsebenzi wesikolo, ngaphandle koviwo lokugqibela kumnandi ngakumbi."

Kwelinye icala, usenokuba sele usazi iseti ethile yeentshukumo (kubandakanya ngqo indlela yokuzibamba ngomnwe) ukuze uqinisekise uvuthondaba ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa nokuba indlela yakho oyizamileyo nenyani isebenza njengekhubalo, ngokuhamba kwexesha le ndlela ingaqala ukuziva incinci, kulungile, yesiqhelo.

Apha, amanyathelo ekhonkrithi okwenza ukuba iseshoni yakho yokuqala ibe yimpumelelo- okanye ukuba ufuna ukuphuma kwisondo.

1. Ipensile kuyo.

"Okukhona usenza, kokukhona kuya kuba lula ukugqobhoza kwezo ndawo zivaliweyo kwaye wonwabele izibonelelo zokuphulula amaphambili," utshilo uMorse. Ngaba uziva ngathi awunalo ixesha? Yibeke kwikhalenda yakho, ucebisa. UMcDaniel uyavuma, wongeza, "Senza ixesha lezinto ezibalulekileyo kuthi. Zinike imvume yokuchitha ixesha ukonwaba kwakho." (Eyeleleneyo: Kutheni unokoyika ukuZifaka iminwe-kunye nendlela yokuyoyisa)

2. Ukucinezeleka kwangaphambili.

Uxinzelelo inokuba sesinye sezona zinto zibulala abantu ababhinqileyo ngokwesini, ke ukufunda ukuzola nokuzonwabisa yenye yezona mithambo mhle onokuyenza, utshilo uMorse.

Kuyinyani: Iidrive zesondo zabasetyhini zinovakalelo ngakumbi kuxinzelelo kunezo zamadoda, oku kuthetha ukuba unokuba nexesha elinzima lokuziva uvukile xa ukwimo embi, ngokutsho kophando lweKinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. . "Iqhinga kukwenza izinto ukuze uzincede uphumle kwaye unciphise ngaphambili ude wabetha ekamereni. Zilolonge, thatha uhambo, uzenzele ibhafu entle, okanye bekela bucala imizuzu eli-15 yokucamngca,” ucebisa uMorse. , qaphela ukuba uzicofa njani ngomso ngengomso.

3. Thatha ukroba.

“Ukukhululeka kuqala ngokufuna ukwazi,” utshilo uMcDaniel. "Xa ubeka ecaleni isigwebo sakho kwaye usondela kwi-masturbation ngengqondo evulekileyo nenomdla, iyanceda ukuba ukhululeke kulusu lwakho." Enye indlela elungileyo: Qalisa ukuphonononga. UGunsaullus ucebisa ukuseta ixesha elifanelekileyo kangangemizuzu eli-15 ukuya kwengama-20, ukubamba isipili esisesandleni, kunye nokuqhelana nokungaziva nje, kodwa kwanokubonakala kwamalungu akho ezesondo. "Yishukumise iminwe yakho kancinci emilenzeni yakho, emabeleni, esiswini, emathangeni, nakwi-vulva. Dlala ngemilebe yakho ye-labia, uyishukumise, tyibilikisa iminwe yakho phezulu nasezantsi - yiva nje umzimba wakho ngokungathi ungumphambukeli ondwendwela iplanethi entsha,” utshilo.

4. Uyilo lomhla wakho.

UGunsaullus ucebisa ngento ayibiza ngokuba "kukucamngca ngokuphulula amalungu esini" - usebenzisa ingqondo kunye nazo zonke izivamvo ezintlanu ukwenza indawo yothando, ukukhulisa kunye nokuhlala uzolile. Zoba ibhafu epheleleyo enamaqamza kunye neglasi yewayini, layita izibane kwigumbi lokulala, kwaye ukhanyise amakhandlela ambalwa - zenzele uhlobo lwendalo oza kulenzela iqabane onothando nalo. (Ufuna isikhokelo ngakumbi kuyo? Jonga ukubonwa kukaGunsaullus.)

Ngaba ufuna ukuphuculwa okuncinci okukubeka kwimood? Zama iiVibrations ezilungileyo emva kobumnyama, indawo enengqokelela enkulu ye-porn-enobuntu yabasetyhini, iphakamisa uMorse. (Okanye oku: I-Porn entsha eya kubutshintsha uBomi bakho bezesondo)

5. Gcoba.

"I-Lubricant ifana netyuwa yehlabathi lezesondo - linamandla okwenza yonke into ibe ngcono (okanye incasa) ibe ngcono," kusho uMorse. Izifundo kudala zabonisa ukuba ukongeza i-lube ekwenzeni uthando kunokunyusa ukwaneliseka kunye nolonwabo- kwaye kunokutshiwo okufanayo kwiiseshoni zedwa, utshilo uMcDaniel. "ILube inokuba ngumhlobo osenyongweni wokuzonwabisa ngakumbi ngokuphulula amalungu esini." Sebenzisa nje ithontsi ukuqalisa kwaye ufake isicelo kwakhona njengoko kufuneka njengoko uqhubeka nohambo lwakho lokuzihambela.

UMcDaniel ucebisa iSystem JO Agape (Yithenge, $17, amazon.com), ilube esekwe emanzini ayithandayo kuba yenzelwe ukulinganisa ukuthambisa kwakho kwendalo okanye iAstroglide (Yithenge, $9, amazon.com), enye ifomula esekwe emanzini. ukhuselekile kwiithoyi zakho zesondo. Kwi-lubes esekwe kwisilicone, uMorse ucebisa iPjur (Yithenge, $ 20, walmart.com) okanye i-Überlube (Yithenge, $ 29, amazon.com), ezimtyibiliziyo nezilungele ukudlala ngomnwe. Ngayiphi na indlela, gwema i-oil-based lubes, okunzima ukuyicoca kwaye inokuphula zombini iikhondom kunye namathoyizi esondo. (Kwaye ungoyiki ukuzisa i-lube kwii-frolics zakho ezinobungane- yenye yezinto ezintlanu eziya kwi-orgasm ngokuhlwanje.)

6. Tyala imali kwi-vibrator.

"Omnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni wayengazange asebenzise i-vibrator ngaphambi kokuba ndicebise ukuba ayithenge. Undithumelele umyalezo ngobunye ubusuku esithi 'OMG. Bendingazi nokuba,' utshilo uMcDaniel.

"Kuyinyani enzima ukuba abafazi badinga ukuvuselelwa kwe-clitoral ukufikelela kwi-orgasm, kwaye i-vibrators ibekwe kule planethi ngenxa yeso sizathu," kusho uMorse. Ukuba ubusebenzisa iminwe yakho kuphela, lixesha lokuba uzinyange: Xa sele ukulungele ukuzama into yokudlala ngesondo, uMorse ucebisa ngokuqala kancinci. Iibullet vibes ezinje nge-We-Vibe Tango (Yithenge, $ 60, amazon.com) okanye iPocket Rocket (Yithenge, $ 22, amazon.com) ziyamangalisa ukukhuthaza izinto, ezifikelelekayo, kwaye kulula ukuzisebenzisa. Uyazithanda iimveliso zoMonelisi, ezisebenzisa ukonyusa uxinzelelo lomoya ukurhangqa kunye nokutsala iklitoris yakho endaweni yokuyichukumisa ngokuthe ngqo, ukubonelela ngovuselelo oluthe ngqo nolungqongqo.

7. Gxila kwiindlela ezincinci zolonwabo.

Yonke into uyolo, utshilo uMcDaniel. "Oku kunokubonakala kucacile, kodwa abafazi bahlala befaka uxinzelelo kubo ukuba bafumane ulonwabo olungqalileyo ngaphambi nangexesha lokuphulula amalungu esini. Endaweni yokugxila kuhlobo lwe-bow-chica-wah-wah yolo lonwabo, zama ngokulula ukunikezela kukuziyolisa. Thatha elona bhafu lide lishushu elineoli, iziqholo, namakhandlela; mamela umculo okwenza uncume; nxiba ezona mpahla zakho zithambileyo; yitya okona kutya kulungileyo; yenza izivamvo zakho. Rhoqo, oku kuya kwenza amaziko olonwabo lwengqondo yakho kwaye akwenzele ulonwabo ngakumbi,” uyongeza.

8. Yenza amaphupha akho emini abe mdaka.

"Imvuselelo iqala entlokweni yakho kwaye isebenze indlela yayo isezantsi," utshilo uMorse. "Ukuba ingqondo yakho ilungile kwaye ivuliwe, ayizukuthatha ixesha elide de umzimba wakho wonke ulandele." Ukufumana loo ngqondo inkulu ye-sexy ebhodini, qalisa ukucinga. "Cinga ngamava akho esondo ashushu kwaye uphinde uwenze entlokweni yakho, okanye uvumele ingqondo yakho ibhadule ekudibaneni nomntu wasemzini ongamaziyo-nantoni na ekuncedayo ikwenze ube nemood." Kwaye khumbula, yinto yakho entle. Akukho mntu uyaziyo into esentlokweni yakho ngaphandle kwakho, ngoko akukho mfuneko yokuba uzive uhlazekile okanye unetyala malunga nokuba yintoni elayita umlilo wakho. (Okwenza umdla kukuba, abanye abafazi basebenzisa i-BDSM njengendlela yonyango.)

9. Phonononga ubugcisa obuvuselela inkanuko yesini.

Ngelixa amadoda ethanda ukubukela iphonografi ngokwabelana ngesondo okwenyani, abasetyhini bavulelwa ngakumbi ziiklip ze-erotic ezinebali lekhonkrithi, elinye elibeka imood, utsho isifundo Ijenali yeLizwe yaMandla oPhando. Kwaye khumbula, ngelixa i-pornos intshontsha umboniso xa kufikwa kwizinto zokuphulula amalungu esini, kukho ihlabathi lonke lobugcisa obuvuselelayo. "Abanye abantu bavulelwa ngokwenyani ngokubonakalayo, abanye ngentetho yomlomo okanye ebhaliweyo, abanye bayalahleka kwifantasy elungileyo. Zama ukuba loluphi uhlobo, nokuba loluphi uhlobo lomxholo, oqhuba imoto yakho, utshilo uMcDaniel. (BTW, ukuba uyazibuza "uzenza njani umnwe?" Ungafuna ukufunda ngendlela yokwenza zonke iintlobo zokudlala ngesandla.)

10. Naka umzimba wakho uphela.

Umzimba wakho uphela unakho ukonwaba, utshilo uGunsaullus, ke yiya kuhlola okungaphandle kwemida. "Thatha isandla sakho okanye ithoyizi kwaye uyijikeleze emathangeni akho angaphakathi, yonke i-vulva yangaphandle, kunye nesisu sakho kunye neengono ukuba uyafuna," utsho. Inzululwazi inokukunika uluvo lokuba ungaqala ngaphi: Zama ukubamba ukukhanya entanyeni, ngaphambili, kunye nomda welungu lobufazi (umphetho welungu lobufazi elikufutshane ne-anus) noxinzelelo kunye nongcangcazela kwiingono nakuma-clitoris- zonke ezinye zazo awona manqanaba aphezulu obumnandi kuphononongo Ijenali yamayeza ezesondo. Kodwa chukumisa yonke into kwaye uzifundele, ubeke ingqalelo kuhlobo olunjani lwemvakalelo kunye noxinzelelo oluziva luyolisayo kuwe, wongeza uGunsaullus. Ingcebiso yepro: Into yokudlala efana noJe Joue's Mimi Soft (Thenga yona, $ 89, amazon.com) ilungile koku kuba yonke indawo ithambile kwaye iyangcangcazela.

11. Cotha isantya.

Abantu abaninzi banqwenela ukuba iqabane labo lichithe ixesha elininzi kwi-foreplay-ke sukukhawulezisa izinto ngokwakho. Hamba ngokucotha kathathu kunokuba ucinga ukuba ufanele, ucebisa uMorse. "Ukuphulula amalungu esini kuninzi ngohambo njengoko kunjalo kwindawo ekuyiwa kuyo." Thatha ixesha lokuhlola onke amalungu omzimba wakho - ukusuka entanyeni yakho yonke indlela ukuya emathangeni akho angaphakathi - ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwiliso lenkunzi. Nika ingqalelo kwinto eziva ilungile, ingcono, kwaye ingcono, kwaye uvumele ezo mvakalelo zakheke. Iziphumo ziya kuba zilungele ukulinda.

12. Tshintsha ubuchule bakho.

Ukwahlukahlukana zizinto eziqhola isini - kwanohlobo onalo nawe, utshilo uMorse. Ukuba awukatshintshi ukubetha kwakho okanye isantya okoko wafunda indlela yokuphulula amalungu esini okanye indlela yokuzicofa umnwe ngokukodwa, ngoku lixesha.Umzekelo, ukuba uhlala uzibethela kwipatheni ye-diagonal - uhambisa iminwe yakho phezu kwe-clitoris ukusuka kwelinye icala ukuya kwelinye - zama ukutshintsha ubuchule bakho bokubetha ngokuyiphulula usebenzisa intshukumo yokunyuka-phezulu endaweni yoko. Olunye ukhetho: Sebenzisa umnwe omnye ukulandelela izangqa ezungeze iklitoris yakho ngaphandle kokuyichukumisa ngokuthe ngqo, utsho uMorse. Ukupheliswa kwemithambo-luvo kuya kuhlala kukhuthazwa ngokungangqalanga, oku kunceda ukwakha uxinzelelo kunye nolonwabo ngaphambi kokuba ungene kwindawo yakho yolonwabo.

13. Phefumla.

"Uya kumangaliswa ukuba bangaphi abafazi ababanjwe kwizinto ezizenzayo izandla zabo kangangokuba balibale ukuphefumla. Ukugxila ekuphefumleni kwakho kwakha unxibelelwano olunzulu nomzimba wakho, kwaye kukunceda ukuba ubalekele naziphi na iingcamango eziphazamisayo ezifana 'Ngaba ndenzayo? eli lungelo?' okanye 'Ngaba sisekho?' "UMorse uthi. Kulula: Jolisa ingqalelo yakho kwi-inhale yakho kwaye uphume-umzimba wakho uya kwenza konke. (Cinga ukulungisa umoya wakho ngezi ndlela zintathu zokuphefumla.)

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