Bafumana phi abantu abaNgaqhelekanga kwiCancer yeBele?

Umbuzo: Andikhethi. Ndizisebenzisa / bona izimelabizo kwaye ndicinga ukuba ndingu-transmasculine, nangona ndingenamdla kumadlala okanye kuqhaqho. Ewe, ndinethamsanqa, ndingagqibela ngokufumana utyando oluphezulu, kuba ndinomhlaza wamabele.

Amava aye ahlukanisa kakhulu. Yonke into malunga nayo, ukusuka kunyango ngokwayo ukuya kumaqela enkxaso kwivenkile yezipho esibhedlele, ngokucacileyo yenzelwe abafazi be-cis, ngakumbi ngokuthe ngqo nangokwesintu njengabafazi.

Ndinabantu abaxhasayo ebomini bam, kodwa ndiyazibuza ukuba ndifuna ukudibana nabanye abasindileyo na. Ngelixa amaqela enkxaso endiye ndakhuthazwa ukuba ndiye kuwo onke kubonakala ngathi azele ngabantu abalungileyo, ndinexhala kuba kungenxa yokuba nabo bendibona ndingowasetyhini. (Kukho iqela lokuxhasa amadoda anomhlaza wesifuba, kodwa andiyena mntu onomdlavuza webele, nokuba kunjalo.)

Ngokunyaniseka, abantu abakumacandelo am enkxaso ye-trans kunye nonbinary ku-Facebook, kunye nabantu endibaziyo endibaziyo kwalapha ekhaya, baye baba luncedo kakhulu njengoko ndiqhubeka noku, nangona kungekho namnye kubo onomhlaza wamabele. Ngaba ikhona into endinokuyenza ukuze ndizive ndixhaswa ngakumbi?

Wonke umntu uqhubeka ethetha ngendlela enye into ekude ekuqinisekiseni ukuba nomhlaza webele ngumhlali osindayo, kodwa loo nto ayiziva ngathi ndinento endinayo.

A: Hayi apho. Ndifuna kuqala kwinto yonke ukuqinisekisa ukuba kunzima kangakanani kwaye akukho sikweni oku. Ukuzicebisa njengomntu ongazenzisiyo kuhlala kungumsebenzi onzima. Kunzima ngakumbi (kwaye akunabulungisa) xa usenza njalo ngelixa uphathwa ngumhlaza!

Ndingahamba ndirongo lonke malunga nokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokubaluleka kwesini okwenzelwe ukukhuthaza umdlavuza webele kunye nenkxaso kumashumi eminyaka, kodwa akukho nanye enokukunceda ngoku. Ndifuna nje ukwazisa ukuba ikho, kwaye kukho abaqala ukuba ngabasindayo, abasindileyo, abameli, abaphandi, kunye nababoneleli ngezonyango abayaziyo le nto kwaye bayityhale ngasemva.

Ndicinga ukuba kukho iziqwenga ezibini kumbuzo wakho, kwaye zahlukile ngandlela ithile: inye, indlela yokukhangela unyango njengomntu ongazibandakanyi; kwaye ezimbini, indlela yokufuna inkxaso njengomsindisi ongeyonto.

Makhe sithethe ngombuzo wokuqala. Ukhankanyile uninzi lwabantu abaxhasayo ebomini bakho. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kwaye kuyanceda xa kuziwa kunyango. Ngaba ukhona umntu okukhaphileyo kwiindawo zokuya na kunyango? Ukuba akunjalo, ngaba unokufumana abahlobo bakho okanye amaqabane oza kuza nawe? Bacele ukuba bakuthethele kwaye bakubuyise njengoko ubeka imida ethile kunye nababoneleli bakho.

Yenza uluhlu lwezinto ababoneleli bakho ekufuneka bezazi ukuba bathumele kuwe ngokuchanekileyo. Oku kunokubandakanya igama ohamba ngalo, izimelabizo zakho, isini sakho, amagama owasebenzisayo kuwo nawaphi na amalungu omzimba wakho anokubangela idysphoria, indlela ofuna ukubhekiswa ngayo ngaphandle kwegama lakho kunye nezimelabizo (okt umntu, umntu, isigulana , njl.), nayo nayiphi na into enokukunceda uqiniseke kwaye uhlonitshwe.

Akukho sizathu sokuba ugqirha, ekwazisa kumncedisi wakhe, angatsho into enje, "Eli ligama lakho, umntu oneminyaka engama-30 ubudala onesifo sokudumba kwenwebu yesibeleko ekhohlo kwicala lasekhohlo esifubeni sakhe."

Nje ukuba ube noluhlu lwakho, yabelana ngalo nakuphi na ukwamkela, abongikazi, ii-PCA, oogqirha, okanye abanye abasebenzi onxibelelana nabo. Abamkeli kunye nabongikazi banokukwazi ukongeza amanqaku kwitshathi yakho yonyango ukuqinisekisa ukuba abanye ababoneleli babona kwaye basebenzise igama lakho elichanekileyo kunye nezimelabizo.

Inkxaso yakho iya kuba nakho ukulandela kwaye ilungise nabani na ongakuphosanga kakuhle okanye oyiphosileyo imemo.

Ewe kunjalo, ayinguye wonke umntu okhululekile ukuseta ezi ntlobo zemida kunye nabanikezeli bezempilo, ngakumbi xa usilwa nesifo esisongela ubomi. Ukuba awuziva uvumelekile, iyasebenza ngokupheleleyo. Kwaye ayenzi isiphoso sakho ukuba uphambene okanye ubhekiswe kuzo ngeendlela ezingakusebenzeliyo.

Ayingomsebenzi wakho ukufundisa iingcali zonyango. Kungumsebenzi wabo ukubuza. Ukuba azenzi njalo, kwaye unawo amandla emvakalelo okulungisa, oko kunokuba luncedo kwaye ekugqibeleni kukuxhobise. Kodwa ukuba akwenzi njalo, zama ukungazibeki tyala. Uzama nje ukufikelela kule nto ngokusemandleni akho.

Oku kundizisa kwinxalenye yesibini yombuzo wakho: ukufuna inkxaso njengomntu osindayo.

Ukhankanyile abantu abadlulayo / abangabalulekanga obaziyo ekuhlaleni nakwi-intanethi abaxhasayo ngokwenene, kodwa ayisosindiswa (okanye, ubuncinci, ayisosifo somhlaza ofanayo). Luhlobo luni lwenkxaso oyifunayo onokuyidinga ngokukodwa kumaxhoba omhlaza wamabele?

Ndibuza nje kuba, ngelixa amaqela enkxaso yomhlaza kunokuba luncedo ngokwenene, ayilunganga okanye ayimfuneko kuwo wonke umntu. Ndicinga ukuba uninzi lwethu luphela luziva ngathi "kufanele" siye kwiqela lenkxaso ngexesha lonyango kuba "yinto ekufuneka yenziwe." Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba inkxaso yezentlalo kunye neemvakalelo osele unazo sele zidibene nabahlobo bakho, amaqabane, kunye namaqela e-trans / nonbinary.

Ngenxa yokuba ufumene aba bantu beluncedo ngakumbi kunabanye abantu abasindileyo abanomhlaza odibene nabo, mhlawumbi akukho nyani umhlaza uxhasa umngxuma owenziwe liqela ebomini bakho.

Kwaye ukuba kunjalo, iyavakala loo nto. Ngelixa bendinyangwa, bendisoloko ndimangalisiwe yindlela endifana ngayo nabantu abaye bahamba kuzo zonke iintlobo zezinto ezingenamdla: ukunxunguphala, ukukhulelwa, ukufelwa ngumntu omthandayo, ukugula okungabonakaliyo, i-ADHD, i-autism, isifo seLyme, I-lupus, i-fibromyalgia, uxinzelelo olukhulu, ukuya exesheni, kunye ne-dysphoria yesini kunye nokuhlinzwa okuqinisekisa isini.

Enye yezinto ebangela eyona ntlungu ikhoyo ngoku yi-cissexism, kwaye ngamava wonke umntu kulo naliphi na iqela elidlulayo aza kuthi ahlangane nalo. Akumangalisi ukuba uzive uxhaswa ngakumbi apho.

Ukuba ufuna ukufumana ezinye izixhobo ngakumbi kuthutho okanye kungasindiswa kubasindileyo bomhlaza, nangona kunjalo, ndincoma ukujonga iNethiwekhi yeLGBT yeCancer yeSizwe.

Ndinqwenela ukuba kubekhona okuninzi ngaphandle kwakho. Ndiyathemba ukuba uyakwazi ukuzikrola kwisithuba osifunayo.

Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, nangona kunjalo, ndiyakubona.

Njengokuba isini sakho singagqitywanga ngamalungu omzimba owazalwa nawo, awuchazwanga ukuba leliphi kula malungu omhlaza eliza kwenzeka.

Ozinzileyo,

UMiri

UMiri Mogilevsky ngumbhali, utitshala, kunye nonyango olusebenza eColumbus, eOhio. Babambe i-BA kwisayikholoji kwiYunivesithi yaseNyakatho-ntshona kunye nenkosi kwimisebenzi yezentlalo evela kwiYunivesithi yaseColumbia. Bafunyaniswe benesigaba 2a somhlaza webele ngo-Okthobha u-2017 kwaye bagqibe unyango ngentwasahlobo ka-2018. UMiri ungumnini malunga neewigi ezingama-25 ezahlukeneyo ukusuka kwiintsuku zabo ze-chemo kwaye uyakonwabela ukuzisebenzisa ngobuchule. Ngaphandle komhlaza, bakwabhala ngempilo yengqondo, ubungqingqwa besini, isondo elikhuselekileyo kunye nemvume, kunye negadi.