Sukuncama: Ubomi Bam Iminyaka eli-12 Emva koPhononongo loMhlaza weSibeletho

Bahlobo abathandekayo,

Xa ndandineminyaka engama-42, ndafumanisa ukuba ndinomhlaza wedlala lesinyi. Ndandinemastastasis emathanjeni, emiphungeni nakwii-lymph node. Inqanaba leprostate-specific antigen (PSA) yayingaphezulu kwama-3 200, kwaye ugqirha wam wandixelela ukuba ndinonyaka okanye ngaphantsi kokuphila.

Kwaku phantse iminyaka eli-12 eyadlulayo.

Iiveki zokuqala ezimbalwa zazingacacanga. Ndenze i-biopsies, i-CT scans, kunye neethambo, kwaye iziphumo nganye zabuya zimbi kakhulu kunezokugqibela. Elona nqanaba lisezantsi lam lafika ngexesha le-biopsy njengoko abafundi abancinci abancinci babonayo. Khange ndithomalaliswe, ndaye ndathula ndilila njengoko bencokola ngethumba.

Ndaqala unyango lwehomoni kwangoko, kwaye kwiveki ezimbini, kwaqala ukubanobushushu. Ubuncinci umama kunye nam ekugqibeleni sabelana ngento efanayo, ndacinga. Kodwa uxinzelelo lwaqala ukuseta njengoko ndaziva ubudoda bam buyehla.

Ndaziva ndikhululwe. Ubomi bam ekugqibeleni babubuyela endleleni. Ndaye ndachacha ngokwam ngokwezimali, ndandithandana nentombi yam emangalisayo, kwaye sasijonge phambili ekwakheni ubomi kunye.

Bekulula ukutyibilika kuxinzelelo olunzulu ukuba bezingekho izinto ezimbini. Okokuqala, ukholo lwam kuThixo, kwaye okwesibini, umtshakazi wam omangalisayo. Akavuma ukuba ndinikezele; wakholwa, akashiya. Undithengele i-kayak, wandithengela ibhayisekile, kwaye wandenza ndazisebenzisa zombini. Ingoma ethi "Phila ngokungathi Ubusifa" nguTim McGraw yaba sisandi sobomi bam, kwaye iindumiso 103, iivesi 2-3 zaba yimantra yam. Ndandihlala ndicengceleza ezo vesi xa ndingalali, ndicamngce ngazo xa ndizibuza ukuba ingaba kunjani ukufa. Ekugqibeleni, ndaqala ukukholelwa ukuba ikamva linokubakho.

Umtshakazi wam watshata nam emva konyaka ndifumene isifo. Ngosuku lwethu lomtshato, ndamthembisa iminyaka engama-30.

Phambi komhlaza, ndibala ubomi bam bumoshakele. Ndandingumntu othanda ukusebenza, ndingazange ndiye eholideyini, ibe ndandicinga ngesiqu sam. Bendingenguye umntu olunge kakhulu. Ukusukela ekufumanekeni kwam, ndiye ndafunda ukuthanda nzulu nokuthetha kamnandi. Ndibe ngumyeni ongcono, utata ongcono, umhlobo ongcono kunye nendoda engcono. Ndiyaqhubeka nokusebenza ngokusisigxina, kodwa ndidlulisa ixesha elongezelelekileyo xa kunokwenzeka. Sichitha ihlobo lethu emanzini nakubusika bethu ezintabeni. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba lixesha luni, sinokufumaneka ukuhamba, ukuhamba ngeebhayisikili, okanye nge-kayaking. Ubomi kukukhwela okumangalisayo.

Ndicinga ukuba umhlaza wedlala lobudoda ngowona “frenemy” wam ubalaseleyo. Khange kube lula; Umhlaza wedlala lobudoda undihluthe uthando lomtshakazi wam. Lo mhlaza unzima kakhulu kumaqabane ethu, anokuziva engathandwa, engafunekiyo, kwaye engathandekiyo. Kodwa khange siyivumele ukuba isuse ulwalamano lwethu lomzimba okanye ibambe uvuyo lwethu. Kubo bonke ubunzima bomhlaza wedlala lobuzaza, ndingatsho ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba sesinye sezona zipho zibalaseleyo endakha ndasifumana. Yabutshintsha ubomi bam. Ukuqonda yinto yonke.

Nge-6 kaJuni 2018, ndiza kubhiyozela isikhumbuzo seminyaka yam eyi-12 okoko ndafunyaniswa. Umhlaza uhlala ungabonakali. Ndiyaqhubeka nonyango olufanayo ebendikulo kwiinyanga ezingama-56 ezidlulileyo, unyango lwam lwesithathu okoko laqala olu hambo.

Umhlaza awunamandla. Inokuthatha kuthi kuphela into esivumela yona. Akukho sithembiso ngomso. Ayinamsebenzi nokuba siyagula okanye sisempilweni, sonke sisiphelo. Yonke into ebalulekileyo yile siyenzayo apha nakweli xesha. Ndikhetha ukwenza into entle ngayo.

Ndiyaqonda ukuba umhlaza woyike. Akukho mntu ufuna ukuva amagama athi "unomdlavuza," kodwa kufuneka udlule kuwo. Ingcebiso yam nakweyiphi na indoda efunyaniswe inesi sifo sibolileyo yile:

Musa ukuvumela umhlaza ukuba uthathe indawo ephambili ebomini bakho. Kukho ixesha phakathi kokuxilongwa kunye nokufa. Rhoqo kukho ixesha elininzi. Yenza into ngayo. Hleka, thanda, kwaye wonwabe suku ngalunye ngokungathi kukugqibela kwakho. Ngaphezu kwako konke, kuya kufuneka ukholelwe ngomso. Inzululwazi yezonyango ifikile ukuza kuthi ga oko emva kokufunyaniswa kwam. Kukho unyango olutsha oluvavanywa yonke imihla, kwaye iyeza liza. Ndakhe ndathi ukuba ndingafumana iinyanga ezintandathu kulo lonke unyango olufumanekayo, ndingaphila iminyaka engama-30 ndize olunye.

Madoda, likho ithemba.

Ozithobileyo,

Todd

UTodd Seals ngumyeni, utata, utat'omkhulu, ibhlogger, ugqwetha olunesigulana, kunye nenqanaba leminyaka eli-12 yenqanaba lomhlaza webala lomhlaza webala lesibindi elivela eSilver Lake, eWashington. Utshatile nothando lobomi bakhe, kwaye bekunye, bangabahambi abathanda ukuhamba ngebhayisikile, abakhweli beebhayisikile, abakhweli beemoto ezihamba kwikhephu, abahamba ngesikebhe, abahamba ngeenqanawa, kunye nabavusayo. Uhlala ubomi bakhe ngokuvakalayo yonke imihla ngaphandle kokuchongwa kwesifo somhlaza.