Iingcebiso zoMzali ezi-9 zokukhulisa okuphela komntwana

Umxholo

• 1. Akunakuze kubekho iintsuku zokudlala ezaneleyo.
• 2. Vumela inkululeko.
• 3. Khuthaza ukuzimela.
• 4. Zilahle iimvakalelo.
• 5. Mirror ubudlelwane obuphilileyo.
• 6. Yala ukubhabha.
• 7. Khuthaza uvelwano.
• 8. Yiba lilizwi lesizathu.
• 9. Musa ukuthenga kwi-hype.

Ndihlala ndifuna abantwana abahlanu, indlu enomsindo nengxolayo, igcwele uthando kunye nemincili. Akuzange kwenzeke kum ukuba ngenye imini ndinayo kuphela.

Kodwa ngoku ndilapha. Umama ongatshatanga ongafumani bantwana kumntwana omncinci, ovulekileyo kumbono wokuba nezinto ezingaphezulu, kodwa okwenyani malunga nokuba ithuba alisoze livele. Intombi yam inokuba yiyo kuphela emva kwayo yonke loo nto.

Ke, ndenze uphando lwam. Njengoninzi lwabazali, ndivile zonke iingcinga ezigwenxa ezingqonge abantwana kuphela, kwaye bendifuna ukwenza konke okusemandleni am ukunceda intombi yam ukuba iphephe oko. Oko kundikhokelele kwezi ngcebiso zilithoba ndiceba ukusekela eyam kuphela ifilosofi yobuzali.

1. Akunakuze kubekho iintsuku zokudlala ezaneleyo.

Uphando olwenziwe ngo-2004 lwapapashwa kwiJenaliya yoMtshato neNtsapho yafumanisa ukuba kuphela ngabantwana abadla ngokuba "namahlwempu kwezentlalo" kunontanga babo nabantakwabo.

Kodwa loo nto ayithethi ukuba eyakho kuphela imiselwe ukuba ibhabhe. Ukuveza umntwana wakho kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zentlalo, kwaye ubanike ithuba lokunxibelelana noontanga babo besebancinci, kunokunceda ekuchaseni ezinye zezo ntsilelo.

2. Vumela inkululeko.

Ngabantwana abaninzi, abazali bathambekele ekusasazeni kancinci. Oko kuthetha ukuba abantwana abane siblings abanaye umama okanye utata ojikeleza phezu kwabo umzuzu ngamnye.

Oko kunokuba yinto elungileyo kuphuhliso lokuzimela kunye neenkanuko zobuqu. Zombini iimpawu kuphela abantwana abanokungabi namathuba amaninzi okuphuhlisa. Ndiyazi kunye nentombi yam kunye nam, amandla ethu ahlala esihlasela ilizwe kangangokuba ngamanye amaxesha ndilibale ukubuyela umva ndimyeke abhabhe yedwa.

Ukunyanzela ukuba ndimnike eso sithuba kuphela kwendlela anokuze aphuhlise ngayo amaphiko akhe.

3. Khuthaza ukuzimela.

NgokukaSusan Newman, umbhali we "The Case for the Only Child," iimeko zixhaphake kakhulu kunabantwana abanabantakwabo ukuba bafune ukuqinisekiswa kwezentlalo kunye namathuba okwamkeleka.

Ukuze uyidimaze loo nto, mdumise umntwana wakho ngokuzimeleyo kwasekuqaleni. Bancede baxabise ukungafani, kunokuba yinxalenye yesihlwele.

4. Zilahle iimvakalelo.

Ngaba ufuna ukubulala iintaka ezimbalwa ngelitye elinye? Yenza abantwana bakho bathathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi engaphandle kwendlu.

Ayizukubanika kuphela ithuba lokuzibandakanya noontanga babo, iyakubanceda ukuba bafumane ukuba yeyiphi na kwezi zinto banokuba nomdla kuzo. Oku kungakhokelela kubuntwana kunye nokuzithemba okunokunceda kuphela bonke abantwana, kodwa ngakumbi ngokukodwa.

5. Mirror ubudlelwane obuphilileyo.

Ngokophando lweYunivesithi yaseOhio State lwango-2013, ii-onlies zihlala zinamathuba aphezulu okuqhawula umtshato.

Abaphandi bathi le nto ibuyela kwezi zakhono zentlalo zinciphileyo. I-Onely akufuneki ukuba ifunde indlela yokulalanisa ngendlela efanayo nabantwana abanabantakwabo. Iziphumo zophando zifumanise ukuba ngomntwana ngamnye ongezelelweyo ukuya kuthi ga kwisixhenxe, ukhuselo kuqhawulo mtshato oluzayo lwenyuka. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba kukho ubudlelwane apho akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uzive unyanzelekile ukuba ube nabantwana abaninzi.

Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, zininzi ezinye izinto eziya kuqhawulo mtshato kwixesha elizayo. Enye indlela yokunceda inokuba kukujonga ubudlelwane obunempilo bomtshato wakho kuphela. Okanye funa ezinye izibini kusapho lwakho olongezelelekileyo kunye nesangqa sobuhlobo abanokusebenza njengemodeli.

6. Yala ukubhabha.

Bonke abazali bayasokola nomnqweno wokukhusela abantwana babo. Kodwa, ikakhulu, kufuneka ifunde indlela yokuhamba ungquzulwano ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kwabazali. Oko kuthetha ukuba uhlala umva xa uqaphela ukukhupha kwakho ngenxa yokuba ithuba labo lokujinga lalitsibe kwindawo yokudlala. Kwaye xa umntwana wakho ofunda esikolweni esiza kuwe efuna ingcebiso malunga nokulwa nabahlobo, oko kuthetha ukunikezela ngeengcebiso, kodwa ungabandakanyeki ngakumbi.

Nanini na xa kunokwenzeka, bayeke bazisebenzele ngokwabo ezo ngxabano, kuba ngekhe ubekhona ukuzokuqubha xa sele bebadala.

7. Khuthaza uvelwano.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, abantwana abanabantakwenu kusenokwenzeka ukuba bayanyanzelwa ukuba bacinge ngeemfuno zabanye amaxesha amaninzi kunokuba kunjalo.

Kodwa zikho ezinye iindlela zokumila umntwana wakho ukuba abe ngumntu onovelwano, kwaye unokwenza amathuba olwazi lokwakha abanye lokwakha. Amavolontiya kwenye indawo njengentsapho, umzekelo, okanye uncede abahlobo ngokuhamba okukhulu. Thetha malunga nokulalanisa, khombisa imizekelo yovelwano xa uyibona, kwaye uzibonise ezo ndlela zokuziphatha ufuna ukuba umntwana wakho afunde kuzo.

8. Yiba lilizwi lesizathu.

I-Onies idla ngokufuna ukugqibelela, ihlala izama ukwamkelwa.

Kwiimeko ezininzi, baya kuba ngabagxeki babo. Yinto yokuhlala uyazi xa ucaphukile malunga nenqanaba elibi okanye ukungasebenzi kakuhle ebaleni. Oko akuthethi ukuba awukwazi ukuveza ukuphoxeka kwakho, kuba kunjalo kufanele. Kodwa oko kuthetha ukumamela umntwana wakho, kunye nokunciphisa naziphi na iindlela zokuthetha kakubi.

Kunokubakho amaxesha apho bafuna ukuba ubakhuthaze khona, endaweni yokufumana ukuphoxeka esele bekuva.

9. Musa ukuthenga kwi-hype.

Zininzi izinto ezingekhoyo malunga nemizabalazo yabantwana kuphela, kwaye uninzi lweengcinga ezibaxekileyo kangangokuba akukho mzali womntu ofuna ukukholwa kuphela.

Kodwa kukho uphando oluninzi oluqinisekileyo lokujonga ngokunjalo. Kuyavela ukuba abanamalolo njengoko wonke umntu ecinga, umzekelo, kwaye bathanda ukwenza ngcono esikolweni kunabantwana abanabantakwabo.

Ke zama ukuba ungabambeki kakhulu kwinto ethethwa ngumntu wonke malunga nokuba ngubani oya kuba kuphela kwakho. Abantwana bahlukile kwaye bahlukile, akukhathaleki nokuba bangaphi na abantakwenu okanye abanakho. Kwaye akukho sifundo sinokukuxelela nantoni na malunga nokuba ngubani oya kuba ngenye imini.