Izizathu ezi-5 zokuba ufuna iholide engenamntwana

Umxholo

• 1. Kufuneka uyitshajele
• 2. Kuya kufuneka ukhumbuze abantwana bakho (kunye nesiqu sakho) ukuba uyakwazi ntoni
• 3. Kufuneka uvumele omnye umntu akukhathalele
• 4. Kufuneka uphinde unxibelelane nabanye abantu abadala
• 5. Kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ungubani ngaphandle komzali
• Okukwintsusa
• Q:
• A:

Kanye ngonyaka, kuba intombi yam yayingu-2, ndibeke phambili ukuthatha iholide yeentsuku ezintathu kuye. Kwakungengombono wam ekuqaleni. Yayiyinto abahlobo bam abatyhala kuyo. Kodwa kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo, ibe yinto endiye ndayibona njengebalulekileyo kwimpilo-ntle yam iphela.

Iintsuku ezintathu zisenokungavakali ngathi zininzi, kodwa njengomama ongatshatanga, imalunga nayo yonke into endinokuyijika. Ndihlala nditshintsha impelaveki ende nabahlobo abajonge ukubaleka. Bathatha intombazana yam ngelixa ndingekhoyo, kwaye ndibathatha abantwana babo ngeempelaveki ezimbalwa kamva. Ndihamba ndiye kwindawo ekufuphi nasekhaya, ndihlala ndikunye nabanye abahlobo abafuna ikhefu.

Injongo, kum, ayisiyo iholide ende kunye neyobunewunewu. Abanye abazali banokufumanisa ukuba bafuna ukubaleka ixesha elide, kwaye ukuba unako ukuyikhupha, amandla amaninzi kuwe! Kodwa kum, iintsuku ezintathu zanele. Kwanele yintoni, ubuza ntoni? Ewe, funda kwaye ufumanise ukuba kutheni ndingummeli onamandla kangaka wabazali okwenza ukuba kube kwindawo yokuqala ukufumana ixesha lokuya ebantwaneni babo.

1. Kufuneka uyitshajele

Masithembeke: Ubuzali buyadina. Nokuba ubathanda kangakanani abantwana bakho (kwaye ewe sonke siyabathanda abantwana bethu), ukuba ngumzali kuthatha lukhulu emntwini. Uhlala ubeka amandla akho nezixhobo zakho kulo mntu mncinci ufuna lukhulu kuwe. Uyabenzela izinto, ngokuncama ukuzenzela izinto. Kwaye kunqabile ukuba ulale ubudinga.
Ukuba ngumzali kunokuwachitha amandla akho ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na enye into kwaye iholide engenamntwana imalunga nokuhlaziya loo nto. Imalunga nokulala ngaphakathi, ujolise kwiimfuno zakho kuphela, kwaye uzinike imvume yokuba nobubele kuwe ngokwakho kwiintsuku ezimbalwa.

2. Kuya kufuneka ukhumbuze abantwana bakho (kunye nesiqu sakho) ukuba uyakwazi ntoni

Umzabalazo wam omkhulu kunye neholide engenamntwana ekuqaleni yayikukuzahlula kwintombi yam. Wayenexhala lokwahlulahlula. Kwaye mhlawumbi ndenzile, nam. Ndicinga ukuba sobabini beqinisekile ukuba ndim ndedwa onokumkhathalela.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuba sikholelwa ntoni, nangona kunjalo, inyaniso kukuba, baninzi abantu ebomini bethu abayithandayo intombi yam kwaye banakho ukuyikhathalela iintsuku ezimbalwa. Ekugqibeleni, kuyanceda intombi yam ukuba ifumane ixesha lokunye nabanye abantu abadala abangengobam. Sobabini sikhula ngelo xesha sihlukene, kwaye sobabini sifunde ukuba uyakwazi ukukhula ngaphandle kokuba ndibhabhe kufutshane.

3. Kufuneka uvumele omnye umntu akukhathalele

Njengabazali, useto lwethu olungagqibekanga kukukhathalela wonke umntu.Sisula iimpundu, kunqabile ukuba sitye ukutya okupheleleyo ngaphandle kokufumanela umntu into, kwaye sihlala sijonga iimfuno zabantwana bethu ngaphambi kwezethu.

Ikhefu elingenamntwana limalunga nokuguqula loo patheni, nokuba kuphela kwiintsuku ezimbalwa. Imalunga nokonwabela izidlo ekungafuneki ukuba uzipheke okanye ukuphake, uvumele abasebenzi bokucoca ihotele balungise ibhedi yakho kwaye bacoce isinki yakho ukuze utshintshe, kwaye wonwabe nje ungabi nabanina ngaphandle kokuba uzixhalabise.

4. Kufuneka uphinde unxibelelane nabanye abantu abadala

Rhoqo, abazali abaqondi ukuba zingaphi iincoko zabo zemihla ngemihla ezijikeleza abantwana. Kwababini abatshatileyo, iholide engenamntwana inokuba lithuba lokuthetha bodwa. Kwaye ungathethi malunga nekhadi lengxelo yomntwana wabo okanye ngubani oza kuvalela abantwana kwi-T-ball yokuziqhelanisa neveki ezayo, kodwa ngezinto ezibavumele ukuba bathandane kwasekuqaleni. Lithuba lokwakhela kolo lwalamano, ngaphandle kweendima zakho njengabazali. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu, kuba ukugcina umtshato ophilileyo kukuvumela ukuba ekugqibeleni ube ngabazali abangcono.

Kubazali abangenamaqabane njengam, ukuntywiliselwa ngokupheleleyo kubuzali kunokuba kubi ngakumbi. Uxakeke kakhulu uyenzela abantwana bakho, awunaxesha lingako lokukhulisa ubudlelwane bakho nabantu abadala. Ngamanye amaxesha ndihamba iintsuku ndingathethi nomnye umntu okhulileyo malunga nantoni na engaphaya komsebenzi okanye umntwana wam. Kodwa xa ndithatha ezi holide, ndinxibelelana kwakhona nabahlobo bam kunye nabanye abantu abadala esidibana nabo endleleni. Ndijongana namehlo, ndinencoko ngezinto ezibaluleke kum, kwaye ndiyakhumbula ukuba kunika amandla njani ukudibanisa.

5. Kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba ungubani ngaphandle komzali

Oku kundizisa kwesona sizathu sibalulekileyo sokuba ufuna iholide engenamntwana: Kuba ungaphezulu koMama okanye uTata. Ubuneminqweno ngaphambi kokuba ngumzali, kwaye usenayo nangoku. Kodwa rhoqo, ezo nkanuko zityhalelwa ezantsi zikhetha ukukhathalela abantwana bakho. Ukuhamba iintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwabantwana bakho kukuvumela ukuba ukhumbule izinto ezikunika amandla angaphaya kokuba ngumzali.

Okwam, oko kuhlala kuthetha ukuchitha ixesha elininzi ngaphandle uhamba uhambo kunye nokufunda kangangoko ndinako. Ezo zizinto endizithandayo, kwaye zizinto endingenakuzenza phantse kakhulu (ubuncinci, hayi ngeendlela endizithandayo) ngoku ndingumzali.

Okukwintsusa

Ezi holide ziyindlela yokuzikhumbuza ukuba uMama akanguye wonke lo mntu ndinguye. Kwaye esi sikhumbuzi yinto edingwa ngabazali amaxesha ngamaxesha.

Q:

Zeziphi ezinye iindlela abazali abanokubeka phambili ezabo iimfuno kunye nokondla impilo yabo yengqondo?

Isigulana esingaziwayo

A:

Ukucwangcisa ixesha lokuzilolonga rhoqo kunganceda kuzo zonke iinkalo, ngakumbi ukuba wedwa okanye nabanye abantu abadala kuphela.
• Nyaniseka kwisiqu sakho malunga nokuba ufuna ukulala okungakanani kwaye ujonge iindlela zokulala ngokwaneleyo.
• Funa abantu ababelana ngeminqweno yakho yabantu abadala kwaye wandise isangqa sakho sentlalo ngaphaya kwabazali babahlobo babantwana bakho. • Ungazibandakanya neklabhu yeencwadi, okanye uqale ngayo!
• Xa unomhla wokuhlwa okanye ezinye iindlela zokuphuma, zama ukubandakanya umsetyenzana okanye isihloko oza kuthetha ngaso ukuze ungangeni ngokuzenzekelayo kwiingxoxo zakho zemihla ngemihla ezifanayo.

UKaren Gill, iimpendulo ze-MD zimele uluvo lweengcali zethu zonyango. Yonke imixholo inolwazi ngokungqongqo kwaye akufuneki ukuba ithathelwe ingqalelo njengengcebiso yezonyango.