Ukubaleka kuncede njani omnye uMfazi ukuba afumane (kwaye ahlale) engenangqondo

Umxholo

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Ubomi bam bebuhlala bubonakala buhle ngaphandle, kodwa inyani kukuba, bendinengxaki zotywala iminyaka. Kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, ndandidume ngokuba "ngumlo wempelaveki" apho ndandihlala ndibonisa yonke into kwaye ndinamabakala amahle, kodwa emva kokuba i-weekend ibetha, ndahlukana ngokungathi yayilusuku lwam lokugqibela emhlabeni. Kwenzeka into efanayo kwikholeji apho ndandinomthwalo ogcweleyo weeklasi, ndasebenza imisebenzi emibini, ndaza ndaphumelela nge-4.0 GPA-kodwa ndachitha ubusuku obuninzi ndisela kude kuphume ilanga.

Into ehlekisayo kukuba, ndandinjalo rhoqo Ndinconyiwe malunga nokukwazi ukukhupha indlela yokuphila. Kodwa ekugqibeleni, yandifumana. Emva kokuthweswa isidanga, ukuxhomekeka kwam etywaleni kwakusele kuphume ezandleni kangangokuba ndandingasakwazi ukubamba umsebenzi kuba ndandigula ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye ndingabonakali emsebenzini. (Eyeleleneyo: Iimpawu ezi-8 zokusela utywala ngokugqithisileyo)

Xa ndandineminyaka engama-22 ubudala, ndandingasebenzi kwaye ndihlala nabazali bam. Ngelo xesha ke ndade ndaqala ukuza nenyaniso yokuba ndingumlutha kwaye ndifuna uncedo. Abazali bam babengabokuqala ukundikhuthaza ukuba ndiye kunyango kwaye ndifune unyango-kodwa ngelixa bendisenza oko bebekuthetha, kwaye ndenza inkqubela yomzuzwana, akukho nto ibonakala ibambelele. Bendimane ndibuyela kwi square one ndiphindelela.

Iminyaka emibini elandelayo yayifana kakhulu. Yonke into ayinabungozi kum-ndichithe iintsasa ezininzi ndivuka ndingazi ukuba ndiphi. Impilo yam yengqondo yayisezantsi ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye, ekugqibeleni, yafikelela kwinqanaba lokuba ndiphulukene nomnqweno wokuphila. Ndandidandatheke kakhulu yaye ndiphelelwe lithemba ngokupheleleyo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba ndibutshabalalisile ubomi bam kwaye ndimosha naliphi na ithemba (lobuqu okanye ingcali) ngekamva. Impilo yam yomzimba yayiyeyona nto inegalelo kweso simo sengqondo kwaye ngakumbi xa ndicinga ukuba ndizuze malunga neepawundi ezingama-55 ngaphezulu kweminyaka emibini, ndizisa ubunzima bam kuma-200.

Engqondweni yam, ndandibethekile. Utywala bebundibethe kakubi emzimbeni nangokwasemphefumlweni kangangokuba bendisazi ukuba xa ndingafumani ncedo ngoku, bekuzakuba seku late kakhulu. Ke ndaye ndazijonga ukuba ndingu-rehab kwaye ndikulungele ukwenza nantoni na abandixelela yona ukuze ndibengcono.

Ngelixa bendiye kuhlaziya izihlandlo ezithandathu ngaphambili, ngeli xesha lahlukile. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala, ndandikulungele ukuphulaphula yaye ndandivulekele ingcamango yokuba neentloni. Okubaluleke ngakumbi, ngokokuqala ngqa, bendizimisele ukuba yinxalenye yenkqubo yokubuyisa amanyathelo ali-12 eqinisekisa impumelelo yexesha elide. Ke, emva kokunyangwa ngaphakathi kwiiveki ezimbini, bendibuyile kwilizwe lokwenyani ndisiya kwinkqubo yezigulana ezingalaliswayo kunye neAA.

Ke apho ndandineminyaka engama-25 ubudala, ndizama ukuhlala ndonwabile kwaye ndiyeke ukutshaya. Ngelixa bendinako konke oku kuzimisela ukuqhubela phambili nobomi bam, bekunjalo okuninzi zonke ngaxeshanye. Ndaqalisa ukuba novalo, nto leyo eyandenza ndaqonda ukuba ndandifuna into eza kundigcina ndixakekile. Yiyo loo nto ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndijoyine umthambo.

Ukuya kwam yayiyi-treadmill kuba yayibonakala ilula kwaye ndandivile ukuba ukubaleka kunceda ukunqanda umnqweno wokutshaya. Ekugqibeleni, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba ndiyonwabele. Ndiqale ukubuyisa impilo yam, ndilahla bonke ubunzima endibuzuzileyo. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kukuba, yandinika ukuphuma kwengqondo. Ndizibone sendisebenzisa ixesha lam ndibaleka ukuzibamba ndilungise intloko yam. (Idibeneyo: 11 Izizathu ezixhaswe yiNzululwazi zokuSebenza ziLungile kuwe)

Xa ndandineenyanga ezimbalwa ndisebenza, ndaqala ukubhalisela ii-5Ks zalapha. Ndathi ndakufumana ezimbalwa phantsi kwebhanti lam, ndaqala ukusebenza ndaya kwisiqingatha sokuqala sogqatso lomdyarho, endalubaleka eNew Hampshire ngo-Okthobha ka-2015. Ndaziva ndonwabile emva koko andizange ndicinge kabini ngaphambi kokuba ndibhalisele Imbaleki yokuqala kunyaka olandelayo.

Emva koqeqesho kangangeeveki ezili-18, ndabaleka iRock 'n' Roll Marathon eWashington, DC, ngo-2016. Nangona ndaqalisa ngokukhawuleza kakhulu ndaza ndane-toast ngeekhilomitha ezili-18, ndaye ndagqiba kuba kwakungekho ndlela ndandiza kuvumela wonke umntu ukuba aphumelele. uqeqesho lwam luya kumosha. Ngalo mzuzu, ndiye ndabona ukuba kukho ukomelela ngaphakathi kum ebendingazi ukuba ndinako. Loo marathoni yayiyinto endandisebenza ingacacanga kuyo ixesha elide, kwaye ndifuna ukufikelela kulindelo lwam. Kwaye xa ndenzayo, ndaqonda ukuba ndingenza nantoni na endibeka kuyo ingqondo yam.

Ke kulo nyaka, ithuba lokubaleka i-TCS New York City Marathon leza emfanekisweni ngendlela yephulo lePowerBar's Cocle Start. Umbono yayikukungenisa isincoko esichaza isizathu sokuba ndizive ngathi ndifanelwe yisiqalo esicocekileyo ukuze ndifumane ithuba lokubaleka ugqatso. Ndaqala ukubhala kwaye ndachaza indlela ukubaleka okundincede ngayo ukuba ndifumane injongo yam kwakhona, indlela okwandinceda ngayo ukoyisa owona mqobo unzima ebomini bam: ukuba likhoboka lam. Ndabelana nabanye ukuba xa ndinokufumana ithuba lokubaleka lo mdyarho, ndiza kuba nakho ukubonisa abanye abantu, nabanye abanxila, ukuba kunjalo ngu kunokwenzeka ukuba woyise umlutha, nokuba uyintoni, kwaye unjalo ngu kunokwenzeka ukubuyisela ubomi bakho kwaye uqale phantsi. (Eyeleleneyo: Ukubaleka kwandinceda ekugqibeleni ndabetha ukudakumba kwam emva kokubeleka)

Ndothuswa kukuba, ndikhethwe njengomnye wabantu abali-16 ukuba ndibekho kwiqela lePowerBar, kwaye ndabaleka ugqatso kulo nyaka. Kwakungathandabuzeki ukuba ngcono ugqatso lobomi bam zombini ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo, kodwa khange ihambe ngokwenyani njengoko bekucwangcisiwe. Bendinentlungu yamathole neenyawo ekhokelela kugqatso, ndiye ndanovalo malunga nendlela izinto ezizakuhamba ngayo. Ndilindele ukuba nabahlobo ababini abahamba nam, kodwa bobabini babenezibophelelo zomzuzu wokugqibela ezandishiya ndihamba ndedwa, ndongeza kwimithambo-luvo yam.

Yiza usuku lomdyarho, ndizifumene nditswina kwindlebe ukuya endlebeni yonke indlela ezantsi kweAvenue Avenue. Ukucaca gca, ukugxila, kunye nokukwazi ukonwabela isihlwele yayisisipho. Enye yezona zinto zinzima malunga nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kukungakwazi ukulandela; ukungakwazi ukufikelela kwiinjongo ozibekele zona. Ingumtshabalalisi wokuzithemba. Kodwa ngaloo mini, ndafeza oko ndandizimisele ukukwenza phantsi kweemeko ezingagqibelelanga, yaye ndiyavuya kuba ndifumene elo thuba. (Related: Ukubaleka kundincede ndoyisa iziyobisi kwiCocaine)

Namhlanje, ukubaleka kundigcina ndisebenza kwaye ndigxile kwinto enye-ukuhlala ndiphaphile. Kuyintsikelelo ukwazi ukuba ndisempilweni kwaye ndenza izinto endingazange ndicinge ukuba ndingazenza. Kwaye xa ndiziva ndibuthathaka engqondweni (ukukhanya kweendaba: ndingumntu kwaye ndisenayo loo mizuzu) ndiyazi ukuba ndinokubeka nje izihlangu zam ezibalekayo kwaye ndihambe ixesha elide. Nokuba ndiyafuna nyani okanye andifuni, ndiyazi ukuba ukuphuma phandle nokuphefumla umoya omtsha kuya kuhlala kundikhumbuza ukuba kuhle kangakanani ukuba siphaphile, siphila, sikwazi ukubaleka.

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