Ekukhuseleni ukungabikho koLuntu lonke ixesha

Umxholo

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Ndiyathanda ukucinga ukuba ndingumntu onobubele. Ewe, ndinengxaki yokuphumla okwaziyo ubuso, kodwa abo bandaziyo abayikhuphi imisipha yobuso babo ngokuhlala bethe chu phantsi. Endaweni yoko, ndiyakholelwa ukuba bacinga ngam njengomphulaphuli olungileyo ongasoze akuvumele ukuba ufumane i-ice cream yedwa-zonke iimpawu ezibalulekileyo zomhlobo olungileyo.

Ngaphambili, njengomfundi ophume ngaphandle kukarhulumente kwikholeji yelizwe apho uninzi lwabantu sele lusazana, kuye kwafuneka ndiyiphose inetha ngokubanzi ukufumana isangqa sentlalontle. Ngombulelo phakathi kwabahlobo endadibana nabo kwindawo yam yokulala kunye nobugorha endabangenisayo kungekudala emva kokuqhelaniswa, kwakungekho mathuba amaninzi apho ndanyanzelwa ukuba ndedwa. Kodwa njengoko ndisiya ndisiba mdala, ukuhambisana nerobust yobuhlobo eyomeleleyo ukongeza ekwenzeni-gasp!-abahlobo abatsha babonakala betyhafisa. Ngaphezu koko, njengoko ubomi busiya buxakeke ngumsebenzi, usapho, kunye nokukhula ngokubanzi, ndifumanisa ukuba ndilixabisa ndedwa ixesha ngendlela endingazange ndiyenze ngaphambili. (Kodwa ufuna ixesha elingakanani wedwa?)

Zonke ezi ngongoma azikhange zikwazi ukuwuphelisa umsindo wam ngobunye ubusuku kutsha nje xa mna nomyeni wam sathatha uhambo oluya evenkileni ukuya kuthatha isithako somzuzu wokugqibela sesidlo sangokuhlwa. Umyeni wam (oluntu olugqithisileyo) weza ngaphandle apho bendilinde khona kunye nenja yethu kwaye ndakhankanya ukuba ubone umntu oqheleneyo nommelwane wethu ngaphakathi owayebuze ngam.

"Ngena uthi molo," utshilo.

“Kulungile, ndiqinisekile ukuba ngelinye ixesha ndiza kumgibela edolophini,” ndaphendula.

“Uyayichasa intlalontle,” waphendula.

"Andinguye, ndingumntu olondolozayo nje!" Ndabuya ndazibamba.

Ngelixa ndiyazi ukuba wayehlekisa (ubukhulu becala, ndiyacinga), izimvo zomyeni wam zindinike ikhefu. Mhlawumbi mna am ukufumana i-anti-social encinci.

Khawufane ucinge ukonwaba kwam xa kwiiveki ezimbalwa kamva ndeva ukuba i-genetics ingadlala indima enkulu kwindlela endandiyiyo kwezentlalo. Abaphengululi be-Yep abavela kwiYunivesithi yeSizwe yaseSingapore bafumanise ukuba ii-genes ezimbini-i-CD38 kunye ne-CD157- ethathelwa ingqalelo njengehomoni yakho yentlalo, inokuba noxanduva lokuyalela ukuba umntu uyaphuma okanye ugcinwe ngakumbi. Abantu abanamanqanaba aphezulu e-CD38 bathambekele ekuhlaleni ngakumbi kunabanye ngenxa ye-oxetocin ebangela ukuba ikhululwe, baxela oososayensi.

Ndimele ndivume, yayisisiqabu ukuba eneneni "isizathu" sokungafuni ukubamba ikofu okanye ukuncokola ngokukhawuleza nomntu. Kuphantse ukunqwenela ukuba unamehlo aluhlaza kodwa ukwazi ukuba akukho nto unokuyenza ngayo kuba ... isayensi! Ngoko amehlo amdaka kunye nexesha elithi "me" liya kufuneka liyenze. (PS Nantsi indlela yokwenza ixesha lokuzikhathalela nokuba awunayo.) Ndandiqhula nomyeni wam nokuba wayefuna Ukuba nentlalontle ngakumbi, iDNA yam iyakuthintela. Ngelixa ndiyazi ukuba oku akuyonyani ngokupheleleyo, ukuva malunga nolu phando kuye kwasusa umphetho ngala maxesha ndiye ndancuma kwaye ndawangawangisa umntu (kwaye kwangoko ndaqhubeka ndihamba) ngokuchasene nokuma ukuze ndibe ne-convo epheleleyo yemizuzu engama-20 bendingekho. t ngokwenene kwi.

Nokuba uthambekele kwimfuzo ekubeni ube noluntu ngakumbi, ukuba neqela lamantombazana ukuze ugcwalise iiyure zakho zolonwabo kunye neempelaveki akunyanzelekanga ukuba uphumelele. Enyanisweni, omnye umphandi wexesha elide kunye ne-anthropologist yaseBritani, uRobin Dunbar, Ph.D., ophonononga impembelelo yokunxibelelana kwabantu kunye nobudlelwane, uxele ukuba ubukhulu bobuchopho bomntu bubeka umda kwisangqa sakho sentlalo. UDunbar (opapashe ezi zinto zifunyanisiweyo emva phayaa ngo-1993 kwiphephancwadi IiNzululwazi zokuziphatha kunye neNgqondo kodwa uqhubekile nokuthetha malunga "nenombolo yeDunbar" ukusukela oko) ucacisa ukuba ingqondo yakho ikhupha isangqa sakho kubantu abayi-150-yiyo yonke into enokuyiphatha. Ukuba oko kubonakala ngathi kuninzi, qala ukuqwalasela wonke umntuuncokola nje, ukusuka kwiklabhu yakho yencwadi ukuya kwiklasi yakho yeyoga yakusasa ngoMgqibelo, kwaye uya kukufumanisa mhlawumbi ugqithise elo nani ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye, ewe, oku akuthethi ukuba kubi ukuqalisa ubuhlobo obuqhelekileyo nabantu osebenza nabo okanye i-barista oyibona rhoqo kusasa, kodwa ukuba unabahlobo abamalunga ne-150 (ndidiniwe ndicinga nje ngaloo nto!), uphando luya kubonakala ngathi uyabusasaza obo buhlobo bunciphile, obushiya indawo encinci yokunxibelelana "okwenyani".

Eyona nto kukuba, amajelo eendaba ezentlalo enze ukuba kube lula ukuba "nabahlobo" abangaphezu kwe-150. Kodwa akukho mfihlo yokuba uluhlu lwakho olukhulayo lwabahlobo be-Facebook aluzilinganisi ngokuzenzekelayo nolonwabo lwasentlalweni. Ngapha koko, zimbini izifundo ezipapashwe kwi- IiKhompyutha kwiZimo zoMntu wafumana okwahlukileyo. Owokuqala wafumanisa ukuba abantu abasebenzisa i-Facebook rhoqo (thatha umhlobo wakho u-Becky osuka kwibanga lesibini, ongaphoswanga ukwabelana ngeposi malunga nomsebenzi wakhe wemihla ngemihla okanye into awayenayo ngesidlo sasemini) eneneni banesithukuthezi ebomini bokwenyani. Enye yafumanisa ukuba ukuba nenethiwekhi enkulu kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo-kwaye ke ngoko ukuba semngciphekweni kuyo yonke injana entsha, iholide, okanye i-pic yokuthatha inxaxheba-kunokubeka ubushushu obunzulu kwimo yakho.

Ayothusi into yokuba, ubuhlobo bam kwimidiya yoluntu kunye nokunxibelelana kwabo kulujonga njengelokwenene. Ndithumela kancinci, kwaye xa ndiyenza, idla ngokuba malunga nenjana yam entle okanye umntwana obukekayo. Kwaye andizilahli "izinto endizithandayo" kuye nakubani na-ndizigcinela abantu endibathandayo abafudukayo okanye utitshala wam wesiNgesi owayehlala encoma iincwadi ezilungileyo.

Ngaphezu koko, xa ujonga ukubanakho komntu ukwenza kunye nokugcina kufutshane ubudlelwane kunye nobuhlobo, umzimba womsebenzi kaDunbar uthi la manani acofa nje abantu abahlanu nangaliphi na ixesha ebomini bakho. Abo bantu banokutshintsha, kodwa ewe, ingqondo yakho inokuphatha kuphela ubudlelwane obunentsingiselo ezintlanu ngaxeshanye-enye iqinisekisa ngokobuqu impompo yenqindi kum. Abantu abahlanu ebomini bam endinolwalamano olunentsingiselo nabo ngabantu ebebekhona ebomini bam ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ngelixa singahlali kwindawo enye, ukugcina ubudlelwane kunye nabo kubonakala kulula kuba umgangatho wobuhlobo bethu uqinile, nokuba ixesha elibonanayo alikho. Ngamanye amaxesha sithetha kube kanye ngenyanga, ukanti isengabo bantu ndibabizayo xa ndineendaba zokwabelana-ezilungileyo okanye ezimbi-kwaye ngokuchaseneyo, ke ngoku kuvakala ngathi asikhe siphoswe ukubetha.

Kum, ndiye ndaqaphela ubuhlobo bam bunendlela yokuncipha kwaye buhamba buhambelane nento eyenzekayo ebomini bam. Obo bugwenxa ndabujoyina kwiinyanga ezininzi ezidlulileyo kunye nabahlobo endandibaqokelela kuyo yonke iminyaka yam yasekholejini? Ndiyakwazi ukukuxelela kanye le nto bayenzayo bonke ngenxa yemithombo yeendaba zam ezentlalo, kodwa inani labo endikhe ndalibona buqu ndaza ndane-IRL ehleka nayo? Nye. Kwaye ndilungile ngaloo nto. Abanye banokubiza oko kuchasene nentlalontle, kodwa ndiyathanda ukucinga ukuba ndimamele nje isayensi, ndigcina igumbi engqondweni yam kubantu bam abahlanu abaya kukhulisa impilo yam ngokuhlala nje ebomini bam. (Qaphela: Ndiseza kufumana i-ice cream nawe, nangona ungenguye omnye wabantu bam abahlanu. Kuba ndiyakuthanda-kunye ne-ice cream.)

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