Ithetha ntoni Ngokwenene Imisindo Yakho Yesondo

Umxholo

• Kutheni abanye abantu bencwina ~ ngeLot ~ ngexa lokwabelana ngesondo
• Kutheni abanye abantu bengadumisi konke konke
• Izandi eziMnandi = Izandi eziqinisekileyo
• Ungasifumana njani isandi esinyanisekileyo ebhedini
• 1. Mamela izandi zesini zabanye abantu.
• 2. Ukuphulula amaphambili.
• 3. Dlala umculo.
• 4. Beka iphonografi ngasemva.
• 5. Gxila kumoya wakho.
• 6. Thetha neqabane lakho!
• Umgca ongezantsi
• Uphengululo lwe

Ukugcuma okanye mew. Ukugcuma, ukuncwina, ukukhefuzela, okanye ukubhomboloza. Khwaza okanye [faka isandi sokuthula]. Izandi ezenziwa ngabantu ngelixa besabelana ngesondo, kulungile, zahlukile njengabantu ngokwabo. Okwangoku, ngazo zonke ii-rom-coms, iifilimu ezenziwa kakhulu nge-XXX, kunye nejezi ezigqityiweyo phaya, usenokuziva ungazithembi malunga nokuncwina kwakho ngokwesondo- okanye ukungabikho kwako.

Nokuba niyazi malunga nokuva ngokuxokozela ngelixa nibetha, okanye nithanda ukugcina imilebe yomlomo ongaphezulu iqine ngelixa imilebe yenu ingezantsi ... hayi, silapha ukuze siningenise emfihlakalweni: Izandi zakho zesini ziqhelekile.

Apha, iingcali zesini zichitha ukuba kutheni abanye abantu bekhala ngesondo ngelixa abanye bengenjalo-kwaye kutheni ukuvula iingxolo zakho zesini zokwenyani kunokuba sisitshixo sesondo esingcono.

Kutheni abanye abantu bencwina ~ ngeLot ~ ngexa lokwabelana ngesondo

Cinga ngokuncwina owukhululayo emva kokuba ekugqibeleni uye kwindlu yangasese emva kokuhamba ixesha elide kuhambo lwendlela. Okanye, ukuncwina okuzenzekelayo okuhamba nokususa iinyawo zakho kwizithende emva kosuku lokunxiba. “Ukwenza izandi yindlela yendalo, ehlala izenzekela yokuphelisa ukuphoxeka,” utshilo uJill McDevitt Ph.D. umhlali sexologist e CalExotics-kwaye oko kuquka pent-up ukudandatheka ngokwesondo. Ngokusisiseko, ngamanye amaxesha uyalila ngenxa yokuba uziva ulungile, nokuba kukugcuma ngokwesini okanye kungenjalo!

Enye inokwenzeka kukuba uyancwina xa uthetha ngesondo. "Ngokwenene sisixhobo sonxibelelwano," utsho uMcDevitt. "Ukuncwina kukuvumela ukuba ukhokele iqabane lakho kwicala elifanelekileyo ngaphandle kokusebenzisa amagama-yenye indlela yokuthi" ewe ewe, nangaphezulu kwalonto! "

Kwiphepha le-flip, uphando lubonisa ukuba ngamanye amaxesha izandi zesondo akunjalo malunga nokuchaza ukonwaba kwakho ngokwesondo, kodwa endaweni yoko malunga nokukholisa iqabane lakho. Umzekelo, olunye uphando olwenziweyo lowama-2010 kwizibini ezitshatileyo ezishicilelweyo kwiphephancwadi Oovimba bokuziphatha okubi ngokwesondo ifumanise ukuba abasetyhini lelona lizwi likhwaza kakhulu phambi kwamaqabane abo. Abaphandi bathi oku kubonisa ukuba ubuncinci abanye abantu basetyhini "bayazikhohlisa" ngokuncwina ukuze bancede amaqabane abo kuvuthondaba.

Ngaba yinto embi leyo? Kwezinye iimeko, ewe. Ngaphezu kwesibini esithathwini sabasetyhini kuphononongo baxela ukuncwina okungeyonyani kuba bebengakhululekanga okanye badikwe nje sisini. Intsingiselo, endaweni yokunxibelelana neqabane labo nokuba isini sinokuba mnandi kangakanani kubo okanye ukuba bafuna ukuyeka, bazama ukwenza ukuba isondo "lihambe ngokukhawuleza."

UMcDevitt ngamandla (!) Ucebisa ngokuchasene nokukhala kwezi zizathu zibini. Ngenxa yokuba ukuncwina kusebenza njengokuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo, ukuba iqabane lakho lenza into nje-njalo kwaye uyancwina ngathi benza into enokukufikisa kuvutho-ndaba, kulungile "iqeqesha" iqabane lakho ukuba liqhubeke liyenza loo nto kanye- ngoko into, uyachaza. Ncwina. (Idibeneyo: Unxibelelwano lubalulekile kwi-Orgasm emangalisayo. Ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda).

Oko kwathiwa, ukuncwina kwenkohliso ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo akunjalo rhoqo into embi, ngokukaMcDevitt onikezela ngokuthatha ithemba kancinci: "Ukwenza izinto ezenza iqabane lakho lizive lilungile kunokwenza wena yiva kamnandi, "utshilo. Intsingiselo, ukuba ukugcuma okunganyanisekanga kuzisa iqabane lakho ukonwaba kwaye oko kuyonwabisa, akuyomfuneko ukuba uzincame njengoko kubonakala ngathi lixabisekile ebusweni.

I-Ditto iyahamba ukuba sele uzibonakalisile kwaye wenza isandi sokukhala ngenxa yokuba isikhuthazo sokuva kuva sinceda iqabane lakho ukuba lifike apho. Njengoko uMcDevitt ebeka, ukwenza izinto ukunceda ukonwaba kweqabane lakho akuyiyo ngokwemvelo (okanye kude kube yinto eqhelekileyo!). Ngapha koko, inokucebisa ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho nigqwese ekunxibelelaneni ngento eniyifunayo ukuze nifumane ulonwabo, utshilo.

Kutheni abanye abantu bengadumisi konke konke

Ukucaca gca: Ukwabelana ngesondo ngakumbi akuyonyani ukuba sex. "Abanye abantu bayathula ngokwemvelo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, kwaye yinyani leyo nokuba babelana ngesondo esihle kakhulu ebomini babo," utshilo uMcDevitt.

Ukuba uyindalo (ngokwendalo ukuba ligama eliphambili apha) kwicala elizolileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, ungoyiki. Isini sakho asithandeki kangako kunoontanga bakho abangxolayo. Kwangokunjalo, ukuba iqabane lakho alenzi ngxwaba-ngxwaba ngexesha le-coitus, oko akuthethi ukuba abazonwabisi. (Idibeneyo: Izinto ezi-5 Wonke umntu kufuneka azi malunga nezesondo kunye nokuthandana, ngokweNzululwazi yezoBudlelwane)

Ngelixa ukuncwina yindlela enye yokunxibelelana ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, ayisiyiyo yodwa indlela, kuchaza uMcDevitt. Iimpawu ezingavisisaniyo njengokujonga kwamehlo kunye nokusebenzisa izandla zakho ukutyhalela iqabane lakho kude, okanye ukubasondeza, kunye neendlela zokuvalelwa njengokuthetha okanye ukuphefumla kakhulu, zinokufana (okanye nangaphezulu!) Mhlawumbi, abantu akunjalo bencwina kuba besebenzisa ezi zixhobo zonxibelelwano endaweni yoko, uyacebisa.

Nangona kunjalo, kwezinye iimeko, abantu abakhumbuli ngenxa yokuba benjalo ukumisa ngokwabo ngenxa yokugcuma. "Abantu abaninzi bathambisa ukuncwina kwabo kunye nokugcuma kwabo kwizikhalazo ezolileyo kunye nokuncwina, okanye kungavakali sandi konke konke, utshilo uJess O'Reilly, Ph.D., umphathi we @SexWithDrJess Podcast.

Ngoba? Mhlawumbi sele uqhele ukukhupha imilebe yakho emva iminyaka Ukuphulula amalungu esini ngokuthe cwaka kangangoko kunokwenzeka kwindlu epheleleyo okanye ukwabelana ngesondo kwiindawo apho ungafuni ukuba abanye abantu beve (cinga: igumbi lokulala ebuntwaneni okanye igumbi lekholeji). Kodwa, kwezinye iimeko, inokuba kungenxa yokuba ubukwimeko yokucinga ukuba uyiyo kucingelwa ukuthula kwigumbi lokulala, utshilo u-O'Reilly.

Ingxaki ngalonto? Ukutshintsha impendulo yakho yesandi kuchaphazela iipatheni zakho zokuphefumla. "Ukuphefumla nokubamba utshintsho oluza nokuthula kunokuchaphazela ukuhamba kwegazi kunye nokuphefumla kwezihlunu, ezigcina zithintele impendulo ye-orgasmic," utshilo u-O'Reilly. Ukuhamba kwegazi ukuya kwizitho zangasese (ngakumbi izihlunu zangaphantsi zomzimba) yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yovuko-enyanisweni, yeyona nto ivumela ubufazi ukuba bazithambise, uyachaza. Ke ukuba ubambe umphefumlo wakho okanye uthintela isini, unokuthintela ulonwabo lwakho.

Izandi eziMnandi = Izandi eziqinisekileyo

Ekugqibeleni, nokuba kunjalo ngokwendalo ixesha lokuncwina okukhulu okanye cutie ethuleyo, uyenza ngokuchanekileyo! "Ukwenza izandi njengempendulo yendalo kulonwabo kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye kungenzi nasiphi na isandi njengempendulo yendalo kulonwabo kuyinto eqhelekileyo," utshilo uMcDevitt. Kwakhona, igama eliphambili apha "ngokwendalo." (Kwirekhodi, yonke into kubomi bakho bobulili iya kuba ngcono ukuba uyayivumela ukuba yenzeke ngokwendalo.)

Xa ungena enkathazweni kuxa uqala ukudlala indima ye-Moaning Muse okanye iSilent Sex Master kuba yindlela ocinga ukuba uyiyo kucingelwa ukukhala. Zivela phi ezi ngcinga? (Ding, ding, ding) Iphonografi. Abantu abaninzi babukela iphonografi, emva koko balingise ezo zandi ngexesha lokuphila kwabo ngokwesondo kuba becinga ukuba yindlela ekufanele ukuba bayivayo, utshilo u-O'Reilly. Ingxaki kukuba, iphonografi yenzelwe ukonwabisa, hayi ukukufundisa ukuba ulala njani okanye uziva njani xa usabelana ngesondo, utshilo. (Ukubukela iphonografi ukuze ufunde indlela i-hanky-panky "ekufuneka" ivakala ngayo iya kuthanda ukubukela Tiger King ukufunda ukuqeqesha izingwe.)

Ngoku, oko akuthethi ukuba iphonografi imbi ngokwemvelo, kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba ayenzelwanga ukuba ikufundise ukuba "ufanele" ukuva njani. TD;LR: Akukho sandi "kufuneka". Logama nje zichanekile, akukho nto iphosakeleyo okanye ilungile. (Mhlawumbi i-tennis yakho isebenza ngokuvakalayo njenge-sex moan-kwaye kulungile.)

"Izandi zakho zendalo (okanye ukungabikho kwezandi) ziyinxalenye ebalulekileyo yempendulo yakho yesondo," kusho u-O'Reilly. "Ukuba uyabagweba okanye ubenzela amandla kwaye uzinikezela ngamandla yenza Ukuzola okanye ukungxola ebhedini, uyolo lwakho kunye ne-orgasm iya kuchaphazeleka. "

Ungasifumana njani isandi esinyanisekileyo ebhedini

Ukuba ubusoloko ujonga izandi zakho okanye uzifaka ebhedini, ezi ngcebiso zinokukunceda ufumane umculo oyinyani.

1. Mamela izandi zesini zabanye abantu.

Amathuba kukuba, ekuphela kwezandi zesini ozaziyo zezabantu olala nabo. (Okanye, mhlawumbi, umntu ohlala naye, ummelwane, okanye ikliphu ye-porn oqhubeka ubuyela kuyo.) ugcino lwedatha ye ~ingxolo ye-orgasm yokwenyani~.

Ukwazisa: Ithala leencwadi le-Orgasm Sound, igalari (yenyani) yezandi zesini ezivela kubantu abangaziwayo ukuba nabani na angakwazi ukulayisha kwi-intanethi. Mamela zonke izandi ezahlukeneyo ezilayishiweyo ukuze ufunde ukuba abantu abahlukeneyo bavakala njani ngelixa bevumela iflegi yabo engaqhelekanga ibhabha.

2. Ukuphulula amaphambili.

Ukufumanisa ukuba zeziphi izandi ezendalo kuwe xa uthelekisa nokufunda, u-O'Reilly ucebisa ukuba uzichukumise. "Ngexesha lokuphulula amalungu esini, yonke into (esekwe kwiqabane) uxinzelelo lwentsebenzo luyasuswa, ke lithuba elifanelekileyo lokuvumela izandi zakho ukuba zivele ngaphandle kokuthintela," utshilo. Phefumla, ncwina, uncwine, kwaye musa ukuhlengahlengisa izandi zakho ukuze zivakale njengebhinqa okanye ubudoda...ziyeke ziqukuqele,” utshilo.

Nje ukuba ukhululeke ngezakho izandi ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo wedwa, uya kukhululeka ngakumbi ngezakho izandi ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo, utshilo. (Ukuba awuyithandi i-masturbating, ezi ngcebiso ziya kunceda.)

Kubalulekile ukukhankanya: Umdlalo wesolo kunye nomlinganiso ngamava ahluke ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ke, unokuba ngokwemvelo (kukho elo gama kwakhona!) Thula xa uphulula amalungu esini, kodwa wenze ingxolo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo-okanye ngokuphambene noko, uthi uZhana Vrangalova, Ph.D., unjingalwazi wezocansi zabantu kwiYunivesithi yaseNew York kunye nomhlali we-sexpert ye-LELO. Nantoni na eyinyani kuwe isempilweni, utshilo.

3. Dlala umculo.

Ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo wedwa okanye owabelana nabo ngesondo, "ukuba ukuva ezakho izandi ezisisiseko kukwenza uzive ungazithembi, nyusa umculo ukuze ubatshabalalise," ucebisa u-O'Reilly. (Ukutsho nje: Ngeempelaveki, iiBhanki, kunye nePatiNextDoor zizinto ezimangalisayo zokubeka imood.)

4. Beka iphonografi ngasemva.

Yazi ukuba uzibambile? "Ungaphinda udlale i-pornback ngasemva ukwenzela ukuba [ezo zandi zidibaniswe kunye] izandi zomlingani wakho ziphakame ngaphezu kweyakho, uthi u-O'Reilly. "Kufana nokudala i-orchestra yeengxolo ze-erotica."

Ngale nto, "Ndicebisa ukuba uhlale kude ne-porn yesiqhelo, ukhethe endaweni ye-porn yokuziphatha okanye engahlawulwayo," utshilo uVrangalova, obonisa abadlali ababonakala ngathi bayazonwabisa ngendlela eyiyo, jonga iBellesa, iCrashPadSeries, kunye neFrolic. Mna. Khumbula nje: Ucinezela umdlalo ukukunceda uzive ukhululekile ukwenza izandi ezizizo. Ayizukukunika izandi onokuzixelisa. (Psst. Kukwakho netoni ye-erotica yasimahla, evusiweyo, ekwi-intanethi oya kuyithanda nayo.)

5. Gxila kumoya wakho.

Ukuba uziva ungakhululekanga ukwenza ingxolo, phefumla nje! Ngokuqinisekileyo, uyaphefumla. Kodwa ukuphefumla ngokuqinisekileyo kwenza ingxolo kwaye kuchaphazela ulonwabo, ngokuka-O'Reilly.

"Ukuphefumla ngamandla yintshayelelo enkulu yokwenza i-ruckus engakumbi," utshilo uMcDevitt.

Unokuzama ezi zinto zintathu zokuphefumla ngesondo esingcono. Okanye, unokuyijonga le mp3 apho ingcali yeTantra uBarbara Carrellas, ugqirha wezesondo oqinisekisiweyo kunye nombhali we I-Urban Tantra: Isini esingcwele kule nkulungwane yamashumi amabini ananye uhamba nawe kubugcisa be-tantric bokuphefumla okuchukumisayo, inyathelo ngenyathelo. (Eyeleleneyo: Yintoni iSex Tantric, kwaye uyenza njani)

6. Thetha neqabane lakho!

Zombini ukuvala umgibe wakho kunye nokukhala kungaphazamisa ulonwabo ukuba azichanekanga, ke ukuba uyazazi malunga nemisindo oyenzayo okanye ongayenzanga, kufanelekile ukuzisa neqabane lakho.

"Cela ingqiniseko yokuba imisindo yakho yokwabelana ngesondo yamkelekile kwaye iyakhuthazwa kuyo yonke indumasi yabo," utshilo uMcDevitt. "Okanye, baqinisekise ukuba ukuthula kwakho akuthethi ukuba awunalo ixesha lobomi bakho."

Umgca ongezantsi

Nokuba uvakala ngathi Oooh ahh, ah ah ah, yhooo. O O O OWE YEAH, [ukuthi cwaka], okanye kwenye indawo phakathi, yonke into iqhelekile!

Ke endaweni yokwenza enye ingxolo endaweni yomnye kuba yile nto ucinga ukuba uyayenza, "vumela uhambe xa kufikwa kwizandi ozenzayo okanye ongazenziyo," utsho u-O'Reilly. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukuziyeka kubalulekile kwi-orgasms evuthuza ingqondo.

Uphengululo lwe