Ngaba inyani ukuba iGoogle iApp yakho itshatise ngaphambi komhla?

Umxholo

• Ewe kunjalo, akukho mpendulo kwindalo iphela
• OlonaNcedo luphambili kuPhando oluKhawulezayo: uKhuseleko
• Inokukunceda ukuba uqaphele nakuphi na ukungahambelani okuqaqambileyo
• Kodwa kukho iSibonelelo seZero kwi-Over-Sleuthing
• Khumbula: Uphendlo lwakho aluzukuthetha Ibali lonke
• Uphengululo lwe

Phambi kokuba udibane nomntu ovela kwi-app yokubonana, ngaba u-Google uphila kubo? Okanye ujonge ukuphatha kwabo ezentlalo, ukhalela nawuphi na umdlalo obekelwe bucala ngasese? Ukuba ewe, uninzi. Ngokophando olwenziwe ngu-Statista, iipesenti ezingama-55 zabantu bathatha igama lemidlalo yabo bayise kwindawo yokukhangela ngaphambi kokudibana ne-IRL, ngelixa iipesenti ezingama-60 ziskrola imidlalo yazo. Kuphela ngama-23 eepesenti abantu ekuphononongwe kubo abathi ababulali.

Kodwa njengokufuma, ioyile yekhokhonathi, kunye nokucoceka kwamalahle kungqiniwe, ngenxa yokuba into eqhelekileyo ayiwenzi ulunge. Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba ngaba kufuneka ulandele isihlwele kule meko okanye hayi, ufike kwindawo elungileyo. Apha ngezantsi, iingcali ezintathu zobudlelwane zijongana nezinto ezilungileyo kunye nezibi zokufunda malunga nomhla wakho nge-URL ngaphambi kokudibana nabo IRL.

Ewe kunjalo, akukho mpendulo kwindalo iphela

Njengoninzi lwezesondo kunye nokuthandana, impendulo ethi "Ngaba ndimele ndiyifumane umdlalo wam kuGoogle?" ayisiyewe jikelele okanye hayi. Ayichanekanga into yokuba iGoogling ihlala imbi okanye ihlala ilungile, utshilo uJesse Kahn, uLCSW-R, umlawuli kunye nonyango ngesondo kwiZiko loNyango lwezeSini kunye nezoSondo kwi-NYC. "Into ebalulekileyo apha yinkuthazo yakho," batsho. Yeyiphi imvakalelo ekuthumela kwibar yokukhangela: Ngaba luloyiko kunye nokuthandabuza? Ukufuna ukwazi kunye nosiness? Imincili kunye nejitters?

Ukwazi ukuba yintoni le uyihlolayo okanye oyikhangelayo ngaphambi kokuba uqalise ukukhangela kubalulekile, utsho ingcali yezempilo yengqondo uJor-El Caraballo M.Ed., ingcaphephe kubudlelwane kunye nomyili weViva Wellness. Ngale ndlela uyakukwazi xa uyifumene into obuyikhangela, utsho. (Kwaye unokukuphepha ukuya kwi-dive enzulu xa uyifumene.)

OlonaNcedo luphambili kuPhando oluKhawulezayo: uKhuseleko

"Ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi kuye kwanda kakhulu, kwaye njengoko kunjalo, kunjalo ke nenani lababambisi abanokuba yingozi," utshilo uMegan Harrison, ingcali kwezobudlelwane eTampa Bay kunye nomsunguli weCouples Couples. (Ubuncinci abantu be-18,000 baba lixhoba "lobuqhetseba bothando" ngo-2018, ngokutsho kwe-FBI.) I-Googling inokukunceda ukuba uphephe enye yale ntlanzi ngokukunceda uqinisekise ukuba umntu ungubani na. Umzekelo, ukuba uluhlu lwabo lwebhola ekhatywayo luyavela, ngokwenene bangamaqela aphakathi kwiqela labo lendawo, kwaye ukuba iklip yephepha lendawo malunga neshishini labo le-lemonade bops phezulu, ngokwenene bangosomashishini.

Ngelixa oku kungena kunokukunceda ufumane uxolo lwengqondo, uCaraballo uyakucenga ukuba ujonge ngaphakathi kwaye uvavanye ukuba awunasizathu sokukrokrela lo mntu. "Ngaba ikhona into ngokukhethekileyo oxhalabileyo ngayo? Ukuba kunjalo, ngaba le nto uyifundayo iyafumaneka kwi-intanethi ngokwenene kukunceda uthomalalise imithambo-luvo yakho? "Ukuba kukho into oyikhathaleleyo," thembela imeko yakho, "utshilo uKahn." Ungavumi ukudibana nomntu ngaphandle kokuba uqinisekile ukuba bangobani Yiba, kwaye uzive ukhululekile ukwenza njalo. "

Ingumbono olungileyo ukubuza umntu odibene naye kwi-Intanethi ukuba abelane nawe nge-Snap okanye nge-Instagram, ukuze ufumane eso siqinisekiso, utshilo uCaraballo. Igama elingundoqo apha: buza. Kunokuba udlale umcuphi, uthe ngqo phezulu ucela umntu ukuba aphathe izibambo zabo.

Unokucela umntu ukuba enze incoko yevidiyo ekhawulezileyo ngaphambi kokuba avume ukudibana nomntu, utshilo. "Oku kukuvumela ukuba wenze i-vibe check, kwaye inika isiqinisekiso esibonakalayo esithe ngqo sokuba umntu unjani, kwaye ngubani, ekuqaleni bazimele." (Bona: Ndaya kwiiMihla zokuQala ngeNdlela yokuNxibelelana ngeVidiyo ngeXesha le-COVID-19 -Nantsi indlela eya ngayo)

Kwaye kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba akukho ndlela yokuqinisekisa ukhuseleko ngomhla. Okokuqala, abantu abaninzi abakwi-intanethi bakhethwe ngononophelo ukwenza umfanekiso othile, "ke ukuskrolela kwimithombo yeendaba asiyondlela ichanekileyo yokumisela umntu kunye neempawu zakhe, utshilo uHarrison.

Ukhuseleko lwakho, ikwalicebo elilungileyo ukunika ubuncinci (bendawo) abahlobo kunye namalungu osapho uhambo lomhla wakho, kunye nokwabelana ngendawo okuyo nomnye umntu kwifowuni yakho, ngaphambi kokudibana nomdlalo okwi-intanethi. (Idibeneyo: Izinto ezi-5 Wonke umntu kufuneka azi malunga nezesondo kunye nokuthandana, ngokweNzululwazi yezoBudlelwane)

Inokukunceda ukuba uqaphele nakuphi na ukungahambelani okuqaqambileyo

Uphando oluncinci lwe-Intanethi lunokunceda ukunika ukuqonda amaxabiso omntu okanye umbono wezopolitiko kunye nenkolo, utshilo uHarrison. Unokufuna ukuziva ukuba ingaba banezimo zengqondo ongavumelani nazo kwaphela, utshilo-ngakumbi kwimeko apho bengabonisi lwazi lukhulu kwiprofayili yabo.

Umzekelo, mhlawumbi uthandana nabantu abavota luhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kwaye umdlalo wakho unxibe umnqwazi othi "Make America Great Again" kuzo zonke iifoto zabo zikaFacebook. Okanye, uye wafunda ukuba bangamahamba-cawa ozinikeleyo ku-Instagram, xa ungakholelwa kubukho bukaThixo ngokupheleleyo. Ukufunda ezi zinto ngaphambi kokuxhonywa kwe-IRL kunokuba luncedo kuba kukugcina ungadibani nomntu ongekhe uthandane naye.

Oko kwathiwa, kukho iindlela zokufumana olu lwazi ngaphandle kwebar yokukhangela. Njani? Incoko! Kulungile ukubuza umdlalo wakho ukuba zeziphi ezopolitiko kunye nembono zehlabathi ngaphambi kokuba udibane. Umzekelo unokuthi, "Ngaphambi kokuba senze izicwangciso zokudibana ngokobuqu, ngaba uyakhathazeka xa ndikubuza ukuba uvotele bani unyulo oludlulileyo? Ndifunde ukuba ndihambelana kakhulu nabantu bakwaDemokhrasi." Okanye, "Andazi ukuba ndiza kuyenza njani le nto, kodwa bendifuna ukukwazisa ukuba ndikhetha ukhetho. Ngaba ungakhathazeka ngokwabelana ngezakho izimvo ngesihloko?" (Idibeneyo: Ityala lokuPhambili malunga nesini sakho ngomhla wokuqala)

Njengoko uCaraballo esitsho, "Ukuthandana kukufunda ngakumbi ngomntu kwaye uvumele ukuba waziwe. Ukubuza imibuzo kunye nokuba nomdla yinxalenye yezinto eziguqukayo."

Kodwa kukho iSibonelelo seZero kwi-Over-Sleuthing

Ngelixa iscroll esincinci sinokuqinisekisa, "kunokuba yinto eyoyikekayo ukuba umbe unzulu kakhulu," utshilo uHarrison. “Ukuba uzifumana ucengceleza umntu onokuthi ubekho kwindawo ebesiya kuyo iiholide okanye amagama abo bonke abahlobo babo, oko luphawu lokuba mhlawumbi uhambe kakhulu,” utshilo. (Ukuba uyenza nje ukujongana nemithambo-luvo yangaphambi komhla, qwalasela enye yezi ngcinga zomhla wokuqala ezenziwe nguHeadspace kunye neHinge endaweni yoko.)

Ukufunda kakhulu ngomntu ngaphambi kokuba udibane ne-IRL kukwaphanga nethuba lokubavumela bazazise kuwe. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa unokwandlala iintsingiselo, uqikelelo, kunye neengxelo kwinto oyifundayo enokuthi ichaneke okanye ingachaneki, utshilo uKahn. "Kwaye ezo ngcinga zingachanekanga zinokuba nefuthe kwindlela ocinga ngayo, oziva ngayo, nothetha ngayo nomntu lowo," batsho. Ngamanye amazwi, ungagqiba ekubeni umqhagi uzithintele ngombono wakho!

Ukusuka kumava obuqu, ndiyazi ukuba ukuntywila okunzulu kunokukhokelela kumandla angenamsebenzi (kunye ne-awkward) amandla amakhulu apho umntu azi indlela ngakumbi malunga nomnye umntu kunokuba ngokuphambene. Ngesinye isikhathi, ndaya kumhla nomntu owenza ngokungathi bayandazi kuba babeza kufunda isincoko somntu wokuqala (okanye ezintlanu) endibhalileyo. Kuba andizange ndinikwe thuba lokufunda ulwazi olufanayo malunga nabo, ndaziva ndikhathazekile ngokugqibeleleyo ndaye ndagqiba ndawunciphisa umhla.

Kwaye awungekhe uvelise ngokuthe ngqo izinto ozifundileyo kuphando lwakho. "Ukuzisa into ukuza kuthi ga kumhla wakho oyifumene kwi-intanethi kunokuba ngumcimbi ochukumisayo," utshilo uCaraballo. Ukuba wabelane ngeprofayile zakho ezikwi-Intanethi emva koko unokukhankanya ngokufanelekileyo into oyibonileyo kwaye ubuze ngayo, utsho. Kodwa ulwazi olufunyenwe kweminye imithombo (umz.Ukukhangela kuGoogle, i-LinkedIn lurk, okanye umkhondo weVenmo) kunokuba nzima. "Ukubuza umntu malunga nento oyifumeneyo [kukhangelo lwakho] kunokubenza bazive bekhusela kancinci okanye boyike," utshilo. Kulungile! (Idibeneyo: Kutheni le nto uxinzelelo lwakho lwexhala lusenza ukuba ukuthandana kwi-Intanethi kube nzima kangaka)

Khumbula: Uphendlo lwakho aluzukuthetha Ibali lonke

Ngaphandle kokuba ufunde into ekwenza uthandabuze ukhuseleko lwakho, "kubalulekile ukuthatha into oyifumanayo kunye nokhozo lwetyuwa," utshilo uHarrison. "Umfanekiso okanye i-tweet ichaza inxalenye yebali kuphela, kwaye ulahlekelwa yinto enkulu yepuzzle."

Ingcebiso yakhe: ngokude ube unethuku elungileyo emntwini, "kufanelekile ukuba uvumele umntu ithuba lokuzenzela umbono wakhe wokuqala kuba uya kufumana umbono olunge ngakumbi wokuba ngubani umntu isiqu." (Jonga ngakumbi: Iindlela ezi-5 ezimangalisayo zeMedia yeNtlalo inokunceda uBudlelwane bakho)

Ngaba esi sicwangciso siza kulonyusa inani lemihla oya kuyo? Ingayiyo. Kodwa inokukhokelela ekubeni uthandane nomntu onobuntu beendaba zakhe ekuphakamiseni iinkophe zakho. Kungenxa yokuba ekugqibeleni, ngaphandle kwe-movie Yena, Ukuthandana kwenzeka phakathi kwabantu ababini - kungekhona umntu omnye kunye nomkhangeli wabo we-intanethi.

Uphengululo lwe