Iinkonzo kunye neengozi zokubetha

Umxholo

• Ngaba kufuneka usebenzise ukubetha njengendlela yohlwayo?
• Ukulunga kokubetha
  
• Ukulunga kokubetha
• 1. Idatha engaziwayo
• 2. Bonke abantwana bahlukile
• 3. Into eyothusayo
• Bendlela ukubetha
  
• Ububi bokubetha
• 1. Iingcali zichasene
• 2. Ukubetha kufundisa ubundlongondlongo
• 3. Amandla okwenza okungalunganga
• Ukuthatha
• Q:
• A:

Ekukhuleni kwam, andikhumbuli ndibethwa. Ndiqinisekile ukuba kwenzeke ixesha okanye amabini (kuba abazali bam babengaphikisani nokubetha), kodwa akukho ziganeko zithi qatha engqondweni. Kodwa ndiwakhumbula ngokucacileyo amaxesha apho umntakwethu abethwayo.

Kwikhaya lethu, ukubetha yayisesohlwayo esasikhutshiwe kanye njengoko "kwakuthetha" ukuba sibe: ngokuzolileyo, ngokusengqiqweni, kwaye kugxilwe ekuncedeni umntwana aqonde unobangela wesohlwayo.

Emva kokuba ndikhulele kwikhaya apho ukubethwa kwakuyindlela eyamkelekileyo yesohlwayo (kwaye mna nomntakwethu asibonakali ngathi sonzakaliswe ngendlela engenakulungiseka kuyo), ungacinga ukuba namhlanje ndingathanda ukundibetha.

Kodwa ngokobuqu, andikuthandi oko. Intombi yam ngoku ineminyaka emi-3 ubudala, kwaye ayikaze ibe yinto endiye ndakhululeka kuyo. Ndinabahlobo ababethayo, kwaye andizukubagwebi ngenxa yabo.

Nazi iingenelo kunye neengozi zokubetha.

Ngaba kufuneka usebenzise ukubetha njengendlela yohlwayo?

Olona phando lwakutshanje kwiDyunivesithi yaseTexas luqulunqwe ngaphezulu kwedatha yamashumi amahlanu edatha yokufunda. Iingcali ziye zafikelela kwisigqibo esothusayo: Ukubetha kubangela ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo nokukhula njengokuhlukumeza abantwana.

Ngokutsho kolu phando, kokukhona abantwana bebethwa, kokukhona kunokwenzeka ukuba badelele abazali babo kunye namava:

• Ukuziphatha okungafunekiyo ekuhlaleni
• Ubundlongondlongo
• iingxaki zempilo yengqondo
• ubunzima bokuqonda

Ngokuqinisekileyo esi ayisiso sodwa isifundo sohlobo lwaso. Uninzi lwezinto ezikhoyo eziqaqambisa iziphumo ezibi zokubethwa. Ukanti, ama-81 eepesenti abantu baseMelika bakholelwa ukuba ukubethwa yindlela eyamkelekileyo yokohlwaya. Kutheni le nto umahluko phakathi kophando kunye noluvo lwabazali?

Ngokucacileyo, abazali kufuneka baqonde ukuba kukho izinto ezintle ezilahlekileyo kuphando lwabo ukuba basebenzise ukubetha njengemohlwayo. Ke yintoni abantu abakholelwa ukuba zilungile ukubethwa?

Ukulunga kokubetha

1. Kwimeko elawulwayo, ukubetha kunokuba yindlela efanelekileyo yokohlwaya.
2. Inokothusa umntwana wakho ukuba aziphathe kakuhle.
3. Bonke abantwana baphendula ngokwahlukileyo kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo zesohlwayo.

Ukulunga kokubetha

1. Idatha engaziwayo

Uyakucinezelwa nzima ukuba ufumane naluphi na uphando olwenziweyo olubonisa ukuba ukubetha kufanelekile ekutshintsheni indlela yokuziphatha kwaye kungabikho ziphumo zibi. Kodwa lukhona uphando olwenziwe phaya olucebisa ukubethwa ngempama kulawulwa "ngabazali abanothando, abaneenjongo ezintle" kwindawo "engakhathaliyo, yoluleko" inokuba yindlela efanelekileyo yokohlwaya.

Isitshixo kukuba ukubetha kufuneka kulawulwe kwindawo ezolileyo, enothando. Khumbula, kugxilwe ekuncedeni umntwana ukuba afunde indlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha, ngokuchaseneyo nokwanelisa ukukhathazeka komzali kubushushu bomzuzwana.

2. Bonke abantwana bahlukile

Mhlawumbi eyona mpikiswano inkulu yokubetha kukukhumbuza ukuba bonke abantwana bahlukile. Abantwana basabela ngokwahlukileyo kwiindlela zokohlwaya, kwanabantwana abakhulele kwikhaya elinye. Mna nomntakwethu singumzekelo ogqibeleleyo woko. Abanye abantwana, abazali banokukholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba ukubetha kuphela kwendlela yokuthumela umyalezo ongapheliyo.

3. Into eyothusayo

Ngokubanzi, andingomntu mkhulu. Kodwa andisoze ndiyilibale imini eyaphuma ngayo intombi yam isandla sam saza sabalekela kwisitrato esiphambi kwam. Ndakhwaza ngokungathi andizange ndikhwaze ngaphambili. Uye wema kumkhondo wakhe, ujonge ukothuka ebusweni bakhe. Wayethetha ngayo kwiintsuku kamva. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, khange ayiphinde indlela yokuziphatha ephefumlelweyo. Umothuko usebenzile.

Ndiyabona ukuba ukubetha kunokuzisa impendulo efanayo kwiimeko ezinobungozi ezifanayo (nangona, kwakhona, uphando lubonisa ukuba ukubetha akutshintshi indlela emfutshane okanye yexesha elide). Ngamanye amaxesha, ufuna ukuba lo myalezo ukhale ngokuvakalayo nangokucacileyo. Ufuna ukothuka kwayo ukuhlala nomntwana wakho kangangeentsuku, iinyanga, kwanangeminyaka emva kwenyani. Ekupheleni kosuku, ukukhusela abantwana bethu kuhlala kungokubanqanda ekwenzeni izinto eziyingozi.

Bendlela ukubetha

1. Ingakhokelela kubundlongondlongo.
2. Iingcali zichasene nayo.
3. Kukho iimeko ezinqongopheleyo apho kuya kusebenza khona.

Ububi bokubetha

1. Iingcali zichasene

Yonke imibutho emikhulu yezempilo iphume ngokuchasene nokubethwa. Kwaye imibutho eliqela yamanye amazwe ikhuphe umnxeba wokuba bohlwaywe ngokubetha. IAmerican Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) ichasa ngamandla ukubetha umntwana nangasiphi na isizathu. Ngokwe-AAP, ukubetha akukaze kucetyiswe. Iingcali zizonke ziyavumelana ngale nto: Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukubetha kuyabulala kunokuba kulunge.

2. Ukubetha kufundisa ubundlongondlongo

Xa intombi yam yayineminyaka emi-2, yadlula kwisigaba esihle sokubetha. Kwakunzima kakhulu, enyanisweni, kangangokuba sasityelele kwi-Therapist yokuziphatha ukuze indincede ndenze izixhobo zokuphelisa ukubetha. Abantu abaliqela ebomini bethu baphawule ukuba ukuba ndingazama nje ukumbetha, wayeza kuyeka.

Ndimele ndivume, oko akuzange kube nengqondo kum. Kwakufuneka ndimbethe ukuze ndimfundise ayeke ukubetha? Ngethamsanqa, ndakwazi ukunqanda ukubetha kwakhe ngaphakathi kweeveki ezimbalwa zokundwendwela kokuqala kwimpilo yokuziphatha. Andikaze ndizisole ngokulandela loo ndlela endaweni yoko.

3. Amandla okwenza okungalunganga

Inye into icacile: Iingcali kule ndawo ziyama ziqinile ukuba ukubetha kufuneka kusetyenziswe kuphela kwiseti ethile yeemeko. Oko kukuthi, kubantwana abakwiminyaka yobudala besikolo abaye benza ukungathobeli ngabom-hayi izinto ezincinci zokuchasa.

Akufanele isetyenziselwe iintsana, kwaye kunqabile ukuba kubantwana abadala abanolwazi olungcono lokunxibelelana.

Yenzelwe ukuthumela umyalezo onamandla, ongasetyenziswanga yonke imihla. Kwaye akufuneki ikhuthazwe ngumsindo okanye yenzelwe ukuziva ungaziva uneentloni okanye unetyala.

Kodwa ukuba ukubetha luhlobo olwamkelekileyo lokohlwaya ekhayeni lakho, ngawaphi amathuba okuba ngomzuzwana womsindo ungaphelelwa kwaye ubhenele kwesi sohlwayo xa ungafanelekanga, okanye ube ndlongondlongo ngaphezu kokuba kufanele?

Kubonakala ngathi kukho amaxesha amancinci kwaye alawulwayo apho ukubetha kunokuba nokusebenza ngokufanelekileyo kwaye kufanelekile.

Ukuthatha

Ekugqibeleni, ukubetha sisigqibo somzali ekufuneka senziwe ngokwahlukeneyo.

Yenza uphando lwakho uthethe nabantu kunye neengcali ebomini bakho obathembayo. Ukuba ukhetha ukubetha, sebenzela ukuqinisekisa ukuba uphumeza olu hlobo lwesohlwayo ngendlela ezolileyo kunye nokulinganisa ukuba uphando oluchazayo luyimfuneko ukuze lusebenze.

Ngapha koko, qhubeka ubathanda abantwana bakho kwaye ubabonelele ngendawo efudumeleyo nenenkathalo kubo. Bonke abantwana bayayidinga loo nto.

Q:

Zeziphi ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezinokuzama abazali endaweni yokubetha?

Isigulana esingaziwayo

A:

Ukuba uziva uphelelwe ziindlela onokukhetha ukuzitshintsha kwindlela oziphethe ngayo, qala uqiniseke ukuba izinto ozilindeleyo zifanelekile kwinqanaba labo lokukhula. Abantwana abasakhumbuli izinto ixesha elide, ke nayiphi na indumiso okanye iziphumo kufuneka zenzeke kwangoko kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha isimilo sisenzeka. Ukuba uxelela umntwana wakho ukuba angenzi nto kwaye aqhubeke, hambisa umntwana wakho okanye utshintshe imeko ukuze angakwazi ukuqhubeka nale nto bayenzayo. Nika ingqalelo enkulu kubo xa beziphatha ngendlela othanda ngayo, kwaye encinci xa bengekho. Hlala uzolile, ungaguquguquki, kwaye usebenzise 'iziphumo zendalo' kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Gcina ilizwi lakho elikhulu nelingqindilili kwaye usebenzise ixesha lokuphuma kwezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha ofuna ukuziyeka. Thetha nodokotela wezilwanyana ukuba uziva ungenakukhetha kodwa ukubetha umntwana wakho azame ukuba baziphathe kakuhle.

UKaren Gill, MD, iimpendulo ze-FAAP zimele uluvo lweengcali zethu zonyango. Yonke imixholo inolwazi ngokungqongqo kwaye akufuneki ukuba ithathelwe ingqalelo njengengcebiso yezonyango.