'Hlala Unethemba' Ayililo Ingcebiso elungileyo kuBantu abaGula ngokungapheliyo. Nantsi kutheni

Umxholo

• Inkcubeko yokutshintsha: kuba kunokuba kubi, akunjalo?
• Sizizidalwa ezinovakalelo, ezinako ukuhlangabezana neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, iimvakalelo ezithathwa njengezikhethwayo (okanye zamkelekile) zisikelwe umda kakhulu.
• Isigulo esinganyangekiyo asinakusoloko sihlangatyezwa ngoncumo
• Kwaye ngaloo ndlela, abantu abanezifo ezinganyangekiyo njengam abanakuphumelela. Kwinkcubeko efuna ukuba sijongane nesifo esinganyangekiyo ngokungathandabuzekiyo, siyacelwa ukuba sibukhanyele ubuntu bethu ngokufihla iintlungu zethu ngesimo "esinokukwenza" kunye noncumo.
• ‘Ayikulungelanga ukutyiwa ngabantu’
• Ndikhe ndanabanye abathi kum "Akumnandanga ukuthetha nawe xa usoloko ukhalaza ngempilo yakho," ngelixa abanye bebethetha ukuba mna nezigulo zam "zininzi kakhulu ukuba zingaphathwa."
• Sivunyelwe ukuba sinyaniseke ngokwethu
• Ndifuna nje ukuba ndikwazi ukuveza uluhlu lwam olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo, ukuvuleka kunye nokuluhlaza, kwaye oko kuya kulunga ngokupheleleyo.

“Ukhe wakucinga ukudwelisa zonke izinto ezintle ezenzekayo ebomini bakho?” ugqirha wam wandibuza.

Ndaye ndanqwala kancinci ngamazwi egqirha lam. Ayikuko kuba bendicinga ukubonga ngokulungileyo ebomini bam bekuyinto embi, kodwa kungenxa yokuba kugubungele ubunzima bazo zonke izinto endiziva.

Ndandithetha naye malunga nezifo zam ezingapheliyo kunye nendlela echaphazela ngayo uxinzelelo lwam-kwaye impendulo yakhe yaziva ingafanelekanga, ukuthetha okuncinci.

Wayengenguye umntu wokuqala ukucebisa oku kum - nokuba ingcali kwezonyango yokuqala. Kodwa ngalo lonke ixesha umntu ecebisa ukuzithemba njengesisombululo kwintlungu yam, kuvakalelwa ngokungathi kukubetha ngqo emoyeni wam.

Ndihleli eofisini yakhe ndaqala ukuzibuza: Mhlawumbi kufuneka ndiqiniseke ngakumbi ngale nto? Mhlawumbi bekungafanelekanga ukuba ndikhalaze ngezi zinto? Mhlawumbi akukubi njengoko ndicinga?

Mhlawumbi isimo sam sengqondo siyenza mandundu yonke lento?

Inkcubeko yokutshintsha: kuba kunokuba kubi, akunjalo?

Siphila kwinkcubeko engene kwimeko entle.

Phakathi kokukhupha imiyalezo eyenzelwe ukuphakamisa ("Ubomi bakho buba ngcono kuphela xa wena yibangcono!" "Ukungakhathali: Ukukhupha"), iintetho ezikwi-Intanethi ezincoma ubuhle bethemba, kunye neencwadi ezininzi zokuzikhethela ezinokukhetha kuzo, singqongwe ngumsinga wokuba nethemba.

Sizizidalwa ezinovakalelo, ezinako ukuhlangabezana neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo. Nangona kunjalo, iimvakalelo ezithathwa njengezikhethwayo (okanye zamkelekile) zisikelwe umda kakhulu.

Ukubeka ubuso obonwabileyo kunye nokubonisa ubume be-cheery kwihlabathi-nokuba ujongene nezinto ezinzima kakhulu-uqhwatyelwa izandla. Abantu abatyhala ngamaxesha anzima ngoncumo bayanconywa ngobukroti kunye nenkalipho yabo.

Ngokuchaseneyo, abantu abavakalisa iimvakalelo zabo zokudana, ukuba lusizi, ukudakumba, umsindo, okanye usizi-onke la macandelo aqhelekileyo oluntu-bahlala behlangatyezwa nezimvo zokuba “kunokuba kubi” okanye “mhlawumbi kunganceda ukutshintsha isimo sakho ngayo."

Le nkcubeko inika ithemba ekudluliseleni kwingqikelelo malunga nempilo yethu, nayo.

Sixelelwe ukuba ukuba sinesimo esihle sengqondo, siya kuphilisa ngokukhawuleza. Okanye, ukuba siyagula, kungenxa yokungakhathali esikubekayo emhlabeni kwaye kufuneka sazi ngakumbi amandla ethu.

Iba ngumsebenzi wethu, njengabantu abagulayo, ukuzenza sihlale kakuhle ngokwentando yethu, okanye ubuncinci ukuba sibe nesimo sengqondo esihle ngokungapheliyo ngezinto esijamelana nazo-nokuba oko kuthetha ukufihla eyona nto siyivayo.

Ndiyavuma ukuba ndizithengile kwezi ngcinga zininzi. Ndizifundile iincwadi kwaye ndifunde ngemfihlo yokubonakalisa okuhle ebomini bam, ukungabilozi izinto ezincinci, kunye nokuba yi-badass. Ndizimase izifundo malunga nokubona yonke into endiyifunayo kubomi kwaye ndimamele iipodcast malunga nokukhetha ulonwabo.

Ubukhulu becala ndibona izinto ezintle ebantwini nasebantwini, jonga ulayini wesilivere kwiimeko ezingathandekiyo, kwaye ubone iglasi njengesiqingatha esigcweleyo. Kodwa, ngaphandle kwayo yonke loo nto, ndisagula.

Ndisenayo imihla apho ndiziva khona uninzi lweemvakalelo ezisencwadini ngaphandle kwezi zintle. Kwaye ndiyayifuna ukuba ilunge.

Isigulo esinganyangekiyo asinakusoloko sihlangatyezwa ngoncumo

Ngelixa inkcubeko yokujonga okuhle yenzelwe ukuba iphakamise kwaye ibe luncedo, kuthi abo bajongene nokukhubazeka kunye nokugula okungapheliyo, kunokuba yingozi.

Xa ndikumhla wesithathu we-flare-up - xa ndingenakwenza nantoni na ngaphandle kokukhala ndinyikime ngenxa yokuba ii-meds azinakuchukumisa iintlungu, xa ingxolo yewotshi kwigumbi elilandelayo iziva ibuhlungu, kunye nekati uboya ngokuchasene nolusu lwam buhlungu - ndizifumana ndilahlekile.

Ndizamana nazo zombini iimpawu zezifo zam ezingapheliyo, njengo ubutyala kunye neemvakalelo zokungaphumeleli zinxulunyaniswa neendlela endizibeke ngaphakathi kwimiyalezo yenkcubeko elungileyo.

Kwaye ngaloo ndlela, abantu abanezifo ezinganyangekiyo njengam abanakuphumelela. Kwinkcubeko efuna ukuba sijongane nesifo esinganyangekiyo ngokungathandabuzekiyo, siyacelwa ukuba sibukhanyele ubuntu bethu ngokufihla iintlungu zethu ngesimo "esinokukwenza" kunye noncumo.

Inkcubeko yokujonga izinto ngokufuthi inokuhlala ixhobile njengendlela yokugxeka abantu abanezigulo ezingapheliyo kwimizabalazo yabo, uninzi lwethu oluya kuyo ukuyifaka ngaphakathi.

Ngamaxesha amaninzi kunokuba ndinokubala, ndiye ndazibuza. Ngaba le nto ndiyizisele kum? Ngaba ndinembono embi? Ukuba bendinokucamngca ngakumbi, ndithethe izinto ezinobubele ngakumbi kum, okanye ndicinge iingcinga ezilungileyo, ngaba ngendisese kule bhedi ngoku?

Xa ndijonga u-Facebook wam kunye nomhlobo othumele i-meme malunga namandla esimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, okanye xa ndibona ugqirha wam kwaye endixelela ukuba ndidwelise izinto ezintle ebomini bam, ezi mvakalelo zokuzithandabuza kunye nokuzibek 'ityala ziqinisiwe nje.

‘Ayikulungelanga ukutyiwa ngabantu’

Isigulo esinganyangekiyo sele iyinto ezahlula kakhulu, uninzi lwabantu aluyiqondi into ohamba kuyo, kwaye lonke ixesha olichitha ebhedini okanye ekhaya. Kwaye inyani yile, inkcubeko enomdla yongeza ekubekweni bodwa kokugula okunganyangekiyo, ukukhulisa.

Ndisoloko ndinexhala lokuba xa ndiveza ubunyani bento endijongana nayo - ukuba ndithetha ngokuba sentlungwini, okanye ukuba nditsho ukuba ndikhathazeke kangakanani kukuhlala ebhedini - ndizogwetywa.

Ndikhe ndanabanye abathi kum "Akumnandanga ukuthetha nawe xa usoloko ukhalaza ngempilo yakho," ngelixa abanye bebethetha ukuba mna nezigulo zam "zininzi kakhulu ukuba zingaphathwa."

Ngeentsuku zam ezimbi, ndaqala ukuzishiya ebantwini. Ndandihlala ndithule kwaye ndingavumeli nabani na ukuba azi into endijongene nayo, ngaphandle kwabo basondeleyo kum, njengeqabane lam kunye nomntwana.

Nokuba kubo, nangona kunjalo, bendiqhula ndisithi "bendingakulungelanga ukusetyenziswa ngabantu," ndizama ukugcina uburharha ngelixa ndibazisa nokuba kungangcono ukundishiya ndedwa.

Ngokwenyani, ndaziva ndineentloni malunga nemeko yeemvakalelo ezimbi endandikuyo. Ndayifaka ngaphakathi imiyalezo yenkcubeko elungileyo. Ngeentsuku apho iimpawu zam zinzima kakhulu, andinakho ukubeka "ubuso obonwabileyo" okanye ukugcoba izinto eziqhubekayo nam.

Ndafunda ukuwufihla umsindo wam, ukuba sentlungwini nokungabi nathemba. Kwaye ndibambelele kwimbono yokuba "ukungakhathali" kwam kundenze umthwalo, endaweni yomntu.

Sivunyelwe ukuba sinyaniseke ngokwethu

Kwiveki ephelileyo, bendilele ebhedini ngenjikalanga-izibane zicinyiwe, ndizisongele ibhola ngeenyembezi cwaka zibaleka ebusweni bam. Ndandibuhlungu, kwaye ndandixinezelekile ngenxa yokwenzakala, ngakumbi xa ndicinga ngokubotshwa ebhedini ngosuku endandilucwangcise kakhulu.

Kodwa kukho utshintsho olwenzekileyo kum, luhlala lufihlakele, xa iqabane lam lingena lizokundijonga kwaye landibuza into endiyifunayo. Bebendimamele xa ndibabalisela zonke izinto endiziva kwaye bendibambile bendilila.

Xa bemkayo, andizange ndizive ndedwa, kwaye nangona ndandibuhlungu kwaye ndiziva ndiphantsi, ngandlela thile ndaziva ndikwazi ukulawuleka.

Lo mzuzu wenza njengesikhumbuzo esibalulekileyo. Amaxesha apho ndithanda ukuzahlula ngamanye amaxesha kanjalo Amaxesha endifuna kakhulu abantu endibathandayo abandingqonge kakhulu - xa eyona nto ndiyifunayo, ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into, kukuba ndikwazi ukunyaniseka malunga nendlela endiziva ngayo.

Ngamanye amaxesha eyona nto ndifuna ukuyenza kukuba ndilile kwaye ndikhalaze komnye umntu malunga nendlela ekunzima ngayo oku - umntu wokuhlala nje nam abone into endihamba nayo.

Andifuni ukuba nethemba, kwaye andifuni mntu oza kundikhuthaza ukuba nditshintshe indlela endicinga ngayo.

Ndifuna nje ukuba ndikwazi ukuveza uluhlu lwam olupheleleyo lweemvakalelo, ukuvuleka kunye nokuluhlaza, kwaye oko kuya kulunga ngokupheleleyo.

Ndisasebenza ekukhawuleziseni ukucacisa imiyalezo yokuba inkcubeko elungileyo ingene kum. Kusafuneka ndizikhumbuze ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye ilungile ukuba ungabi nethemba ngalo lonke ixesha.

Into endiye ndayiqonda, nangona kunjalo, kukuba ndingoyena mntu usempilweni ngokwam- ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo- xa ndizinika imvume yokuziva ndinemvakalelo epheleleyo, kwaye ndizingqonga nabantu abandixhasayo kuloo nto.

Le nkcubeko yokungakhathali ayizukutshintsha ngokukhawuleza. Kodwa ndiyathemba ukuba, kwixesha elizayo ingcali okanye umhlobo onenjongo entle andibuze ukuba ndijonge izinto ezintle, ndiza kufumana isibindi sokuchaza into endiyifunayo.

Kuba elowo kuthi, ngakumbi xa sisokola, kufanelekile ukuba sibe nembonakalo epheleleyo yeemvakalelo zethu kunye namava ethu angqina- kwaye loo nto ayisenzi mthwalo. Oko kusenza sibe ngabantu.

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