Akukho nto enjalo njengoMzali ogqibeleleyo

Umxholo

• Bayeke benze iimpazamo
• Akunjalo nje abantwana abafuna ukukhunjuzwa
• Abazali Emsebenzini: Abasebenzi bangaphambili

Umama wam ogqibeleleyo ngokugqibeleleyo Ubomi ayilogama nje lale kholamu. Kukuvuma ukuba ukugqibelela akunakuze kube yinjongo.

Njengoko ndijonga ngeenxa zonke kum ngokwenzekayo emhlabeni kwaye ndibona ukuba sisebenza nzima kangakanani ukufumana ubomi ngokuchanekileyo yonke imihla- ngakumbi abazali- ndiziva ngathi lelona xesha lilungileyo lokuthumela isikhumbuzi sokuba kulungile ukuba asenzi njalo .

Akunakwenzeka ukufumana yonke into eyi-100 yepesenti yexesha.

Ke yeka ukubeka olo hlobo loxinzelelo kuwe ukuze ufezekise okungenakufezekiswa.

Isigqebelo kukuba, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba sizinike imvume yokujija izinto apha endleleni.

Ewe, nanjengabazali. Ngenxa yokuba ngokuchasene nebali abantu abaninzi bafundiswe ngokubaluleka kokuba "bagqibelele," yintsomi. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza ukuba siyilahle loo ntsomi kwaye samkele ukungafezeki okugqibeleleyo, ngokukhawuleza siya kuvula amandla ethu okwenyani kwaye siphumelele ngokwenene.

Inyani yile, sonke siyakoyika ukujija kwinqanaba elithile, nam ndibandakanyiwe. Kungenxa yokuba akukho mntu ufuna ukubonakala okanye azive engafaneleki, engenamandla, okanye esisidenge. Ingakumbi umzali.

Kodwa inyani kukuba, akukho namnye kuthi oza kubethelela yonke into ngalo lonke ixesha. Kwaye asizukuba nazo zonke iimpendulo.

Siza kuthetha kwaye senze into engalunganga Okuninzi, kodwa kulungile. Njengaye, kunjalo ngokwenene KULUNGILE.

Ke, zenzele ubabalo kwakamsinya kwaye ulithathe endaweni yelizwi elikhathazayo entlokweni yakho elithi iimpazamo azilunganga ngelizwi elinamandla, elinamandla ngakumbi elithi iimpazamo zilisango lokutshintsha kunye nempumelelo kunye nobukhulu.

Kungenxa yokuba xa siyikholelwa loo nto kwaye siyimodeli leyo- kwaye ekugqibeleni siyifundisa loo nto- kubantwana bethu, yiyo loo nto etshintsha umdlalo.

Ndicinga ukuba umbhali wase-Bhritane uNeil Gaiman uthe eyona nto ingcono:

“… Ukuba wenza iimpazamo, emva koko wenza izinto ezintsha, uzama izinto ezintsha, ukufunda, ukuphila, ukuzityhala, ukutshintsha ngokwakho, ukutshintsha ilizwe lakho. Wenza izinto ongazange wazenza ngaphambili, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, wenza Into.“

Kwaye konke kugcina kuyinyani kubuzali.

Kwaye nangona ndiyazi ukuba bobabini ngokuzazi nangokuqonda sonke silwela ukuba ngabazali abafezekileyo kwaye sikhulisa abantwana abagqibeleleyo, akunakwenzeka.

Bayeke benze iimpazamo

Ke, endaweni yoko, nalu uluvo olucekeceke oluvela kumama weentombi ezimbini ezingama-20 ekule nto yokuba ngumzali ngaphezulu kweminyaka engamashumi amabini: Kulungile ukuba sizinike, njengabazali, ukukhanya okuluhlaza ukwenza iimpazamo ngendlela efanayo Nika abantwana bethu imvume yokwenza okufanayo. Kuba yiyo loo nto indlela esisiseko yokuba sonke sifunde ukunyamezela.

Ukusuka kwindawo yam njengomzali, owayesakuba ngutitshala, umbhali wokuba ngumzali, umbhali wemihlathi, nomsasazi weenkqubo zikanomathotholo, ndibona ilizwe elizele ngabantwana abaxhalabileyo, abaninzi abahamba indlela yabo ebomini phantsi kakhulu ukucinga okungeyonyani ukuba ukuze baqhubele phambili kweli hlabathi, kufuneka bagqibelele, badlalele iqela le-varsity, babe kuzo zonke iiklasi ze-AP, kunye nee-SATs zabo.

Kwaye ucinga ukuba bakhetha bani? Cinga ukuba ngubani omisela loo bha ngokungaphephekiyo?

Yithi. Singabo banceda abantwana bethu ukuba babhale elo bali kwaye bayabakhubaza kuba yindlela yakudala kwaye ayinakwenzeka yokucinga ebeka kuphela abantwana bethu ukuba baphule xa bebetha umhlaba.

Jonga, sonke sifuna okona kulungileyo kubantwana bethu. Ngokucacileyo. Sifuna ukuba baphumelele kwaye baphumelele kwaye bagqwese, kodwa abayikukwenza oko ngokwendlela yomnye umntu- bazakuyenza xa sele belungile. Ukuzama ukuyinyanzela kudala kuphela ubutshaba phakathi kwakho nabo.

Ukuseta ulindelo olungafanelekanga ngokwendlela abanye abantwana abakhula ngayo yinto engekho ngqiqweni kwaye kuseta umzekelo ombi. Oko ikukuthi ngokuchanekileyo kutheni kufuneka sibamkele abantwana bethu kanye apho bakhoyo. (Kwaye wenze okufanayo nakuthi.)

Kufuneka sibavumele abantwana bethu bazive besixhasa kwaye sinomonde, kuba xa besazi ukuba banayo loo nto, kulapho baqala khona ukuqhakaza. Kwaye xa becinga ukuba abanayo inkxaso yethu kunye nokwamkelwa, kulapho banqwenela khona.

Kuxa abantwana bethu beqala ukuhlawula kakhulu ukuba yintoni eyenziwa ngumntu wonke obangqongileyo apho ubunzima obukhulu bexesha elikhulu buhlala buvela. Kwaye kunokuthiwa okufanayo kuthi njengabazali.

Akunjalo nje abantwana abafuna ukukhunjuzwa

Enye into kufuneka siyiphephe nje okubaluleke njengokungalinganisi abantwana bethu xa kuthelekiswa nabanye abantwana, asikokuzilinganisa nabanye abazali. Kuba ndikholelwe, uya kufuna. Okuninzi.

Ingakumbi xa abantwana bakho befika esikolweni kwaye ubonakalisiwe kuzo zonke iintlobo zabazali. Yixhathise loo nto, kuba iyakwenza ukuba uqhelanise nazo zonke izigqibo ozenzayo. Ungayichazanga eyokuba ukuzithelekisa nabanye abazali kuya kwenza soze ukukwenza ube ngumzali ongcono.

Kwaye kunzima, ndiyazi, kuba xa uqala ukunxibelelana nabanye oomama nootata kunye nabantwana mihla le, isilingo siphezulu ukulinganisa wena kunye nesimbo sakho sobuzali ngokuchasene nabo bonke abanye abazali odibana nabo.

Ufunda nje ukuba zingaphi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zabazali kunye nezitayile zokuba ngumzali apho, nto leyo ekhokelela ekubeni ubuze ukuba ungabazali njani abantwana bakho.

Uya kuzibamba uzama ukulungelelanisa zonke iindlela ezisebenzisa abanye abazali, ulindele ukuba uya kuba neziphumo ezifanayo.

Ngelixa ezinye zisebenza, ezinye ziya kuba zi-epic zisilele-ziqinisekisiwe. Kwaye oko kungakhokelela ekwenzeni izigqibo ezimbi zokuba ngumzali ngokusekwe kuphela kwindlela into esebenze ngayo komnye umntu, esisidenge nje. Kungenxa yoko le nto kufuneka uxhathise umnqweno wokulandela.

Ke, khumbula, njengoko useta kolu hambo lude kwaye luhle kwaye luhlala lucelomngeni, ijika lokufunda kuthi njengabazali liphantse labanzi njengoko linjalo kubantwana bethu.

Kuba akukho ndlela igqibeleleyo, akukho mntwana ugqibeleleyo, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akukho mzali ugqibeleleyo.

Kungenxa yoko le nto ndimi ndomelele emva koluvo lokuba eyona nto inkulu esinokuthi siyenze njengabazali (nabantu) kukuzivumela ukuba siyeke ukuthatha umngcipheko kwaye siwe phantsi kwaye sisilele.

Kungenxa yokuba, zihlobo, yile ndlela kanye esifunda ngayo ukuba singabuyela njani, siqhubele phambili, kwaye sibethelela kwixesha elizayo.

Abazali Emsebenzini: Abasebenzi bangaphambili

ULisa Sugarman ngumbhali ongumzali, umbhali wemihlathi, kunye nomsasazi womboniso kanomathotholo ohlala emantla eBoston nomyeni wakhe kunye neentombi ezimbini esele zikhulile. Ubhala ikholam yezimvo ezimanyanisiweyo kuzwelonke ukuba yile nto eyiyo kwaye umbhali wencwadi ethi "Ungabakhulisa njani ngokugqibeleleyo abantwana abangafezekanga kwaye ulunge nabo," "Ukukhulula ukuxhalaba kwabazali," kunye "NOBOMI: Yile nto iyiyo." ULisa ukwangumbhexeshi wobomi be-LIFE UNfiltered kwi-Northshore 104.9FM kwaye uhlala enegalelo kwiGrownAndFlown, Thrive Global, Care.com, LittleThings, More Content Now, nakwi Today.com. Undwendwele lisasugarman.com.