Yintoni Ngokwenene Ukunceda Abantu Basemzini Abazibulalayo

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

UDanielle * ngutitshala oneminyaka engama-42 kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo nodume ngokubuza abafundi bakhe malunga neemvakalelo zabo. Ndihlala ndisithi, 'uziva njani?' "Yiloo nto kanye endiyaziwa ngayo." UDanielle uye waphucula izakhono zakhe zokuphulaphula kwiminyaka eli-15 mhlawumbi eyona ndlela inamandla kunye neyona ndlela iphakamileyo yokuphulaphula: ukuphendula iminxeba kumnxeba wokuthintela ukuzibulala wamaSamariya weeyure ezingama-24, oye watsala iminxeba engaphezulu kwesigidi esi-1.2 kule minyaka ingama-30 idlulileyo. . UDanielle uyavuma ukuba ngelixa umsebenzi unokuba nzima, ukhuthazwa kukwazi ukuba unikezela ngenkxaso enokusindisa ubomi kubantu abangabaziyo kwelona xesha libi ebomini babo.

Umlawuli olawulayo wamaSamariya u-Alan Ross uphinda amazwi kaDanielle xa egxininisa ubunzima bokunxibelelana nabo basengxakini. "Iminyaka engamashumi amathathu yamava isifundisile ukuba nokuba abantu baneenjongo ezintle kangakanani, nokuba bathini ngemvelaphi yabo okanye imfundo yabo, uninzi lwabantu alunabaphulaphuli abaphumelelayo kwaye abazenzi izinto ezisisiseko zokuziphatha ezimanyelwayo ezingundoqo ekubandakanyeni abantu, ngakumbi Ucacisa esithi: Noko ke, uDanielle uyaqonda ukuba indima yakhe asikokunika iingcebiso kodwa kukukhapha. Siye sathetha naye ngendlela athatha ngayo iminxeba, yeyiphi ayibona inzima kakhulu, nesizathu sokuba eqhubeka esenza umsebenzi wokuzithandela.

Njani ukuba ube ngumnxibelelanisi we hotline?

"Ndihleli namaSamariya aseNew York malunga neminyaka eli-15. Ndandinomdla wokwenza umahluko ... Kwakukho into malunga nokubona intengiso yomnxeba owawutsala iliso lam. Ndandinabahlobo ababezama ukuzibulala kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, ke Ndicinga ukuba oko kwakusengqondweni yam ngamanye amaxesha, malunga nendlela yokunceda abantu abajongene nezo mvakalelo. "

Lwalunjani uqeqesho?

Olu qeqesho lubuhlungu kakhulu. Sidlala indima enkulu kwaye siyaziqhelanisa, ngoko ke ulapho. Uqeqesho olunzulu olo, kwaye ndiyazi ukuba abanye abantu abayenzi loo nto. Ihamba iiveki neenyanga- okokuqala, luhlobo loqeqesho eklasini, kwaye ke ufumana ngaphezulu emsebenzini kunye neliso. Kucokiseke kakhulu. "

Ngaba wakha wathandabuza ubuchule bakho bokwenza lo msebenzi?

"Ndicinga ukuba ekuphela kwexesha endakha ndaziva ngalo kuxa ndinokuthi ndibe nezinto eziqhubekayo ebomini bam ezibangela uxinzelelo okanye ingqondo yam ixakeke. Xa usenza lo msebenzi, ngokwenene kufuneka ugxininise kwaye ulungele ukwenza thatha nayiphi na ifowuni-nanini na loo fowuni ikhala, kufuneka uthathe nantoni na, ngoko ke ukuba awukho kwindawo efanelekileyo, ukuba intloko yakho ikwenye indawo, ndicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba uthathe ikhefu okanye uhambe.

"Asitshintshi umva-umva; unexesha lokuthatha ikhefu kuyo, ngoko akufani nokuba ngumsebenzi wemihla ngemihla. Ishifti ingathatha iiyure ezininzi. Ndikwangumphathi, Ndingumntu ozakuthi abekhona ukuza kwenza ingxoxo emfutshane namavolontiya. izinto ezahlukeneyo [kumaSamariya]. "

Ingaba umnxeba othile unokuba nzima njani kumntu owenzayo?

"Ngamanye amaxesha, kukho abantu abatsalela umnxeba malunga nemeko ethile, into efana nokuqhawuka, ukugxothwa okanye ukuphikisana nomntu… Basengxakini, kwaye kufuneka bathethe nomnye umntu. Kukho abanye abantu abanesifo esiqhubekayo okanye uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo. okanye uhlobo oluthile lwentlungu.Olo luhlobo olwahlukileyo lwencoko.Inganye inokuba nzima-ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba umntu uyakwazi ukuyichaza indlela aziva ngayo.Banokubakwimo yovakalelo oluphezulu kunye noluhlu olubanzi lweemvakalelo. Basenokuziva bengamakheswa ngokwenene.Sizama ukuthomalalisa oko kwahluka.

"Ndihlala ndicinga ngayo njengokubanceda ukuba badlule kuloo mzuzu. Kunganzima-umntu angathetha malunga nelahleko yakhe yamva nje, umntu oswelekileyo, [kwaye] mhlawumbi kukho umntu obhubhileyo [kutshanje ebomini bam]. Ingadala into Okanye isenokuba ngumntu oselula [oye wafowunela]. Kunokuba nzima ukuva ukuba kukho umntu oselula obandezeleka kakhulu.”

Ngaba iselfowuni ixakeke ngamanye amaxesha kunabanye?

"Kukho ingcinga eqhelekileyo yokuba iiholide zikaDisemba zimbi kakhulu, [kodwa ayisiyonyani]. Kukho ukuhla nokuhamba. Ndiye ndavolontiya phantse kuzo zonke iholide-Eyesine kaJulayi, uEva woNyaka oMtsha, yonke into… Awunakuyixela kwangaphambili. ."

Ungayichaza njani indlela yakho yokunceda abantu?

"AmaSamariya akholelwa ekubeni abantu banako ukuveza izimvo zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo ngaphandle kwesigwebo. Ayisiyo malunga 'kufanele,' 'unokwenza,' 'yenza oku,' 'wenze leya.' Asizelanga ukunika iingcebiso; sifuna ukuba abantu babenendawo apho banokuviwa khona kwaye bafumane loo mzuzu ... Iyaqhubeka kunxibelelwano nabantu ebomini bakho, ukuze ube nakho ukuva into ethethwa ngumntu kwaye baphendule kuyo, kwaye ngethemba baya kuyenza loo nto nabo, kodwa ayinguye wonke umntu olulo qeqesho."

Yintoni ekugcina uvolontiya?

"Enye into endigcine ndikunye namaSamariya ngolu hlobo lomsebenzi, kukuba ndiyazi ukuba andindedwa. Ngumzamo weqela, nangona xa ufowuna, nguwe kunye nomnxeba ... Yazi ukuba ndifuna inkxaso, ndine-back-up.Ndiyakwazi uku-debrief nayiphi na i-challenging call okanye i-call ethile enokuthi ivele indibethe ngendlela ethile okanye ibangele into.. Ngokufanelekileyo, yile nto sinayo ebomini: abantu abasiphulaphulayo. kwaye ubekho kwaye ube nenkxaso.

Umsebenzi obalulekileyo, ngumceli mngeni, kwaye nabani na ofuna ukuwuzama kufuneka awufune. Ukuba ilungile kuwe, iyakwenza umahluko omkhulu kubomi bakho-ukuba ubekhona ebantwini njengoko behamba Ingxaki kwaye abanamntu ongathetha naye.Xa utshintsho ludlulile, uziva ngathi, Ewe, ibinamandla ... Utsaliwe nje, kodwa ke kufana, Kulungile, bendikho kwabo bantu, kwaye ndikwazile ukubanceda ukuba bagqibe ngala mzuzu. Andinakubutshintsha ubomi babo, kodwa bendikwazi ukubamamela, kwaye baviwa.

*Igama litshintshiwe.

Olu dliwanondlebe lwavela kwasekuqaleni Refinery29.

Ukuhlonipha iVeki kaZwelonke yokuThintela ukuzibulala, eqala nge-7 ukuya ngo-Septemba ngo-2015, i-Refinery29 ivelise uthotho lwamabali aphonononga ukuba kunjani ukusebenza kumnxeba wokuzibulala, uphando lwangoku kwezona ndlela zisebenzayo zokuthintela ukuzibulala, kunye intlungu yokuphulukana nelungu losapho ngokuzibulala.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omkhathaleleyo ucinga ngokuzibulala, nceda tsalela umnxeba i-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ku-1-800-273-TALK (8255) okanye kwi-Suicide Crisis Line ku-1-800-784-2433.

Uphengululo lwe