Yintoni i-Cuckolding, kwaye kutheni abantu bejikwa yiyo?

Umxholo

• Yintoni ukuCuckolding? Isifundo seMbali eKhawulezayo
• Kutheni abantu bengena kwi-Cuckolding
• Uqala njani ngokuCuckolding
• Yiba Simahla, Bathandi Bamaxhala!
• Uphengululo lwe

I-Cuckolding, ngelixa ingabonakali kakhulu eyaziwayo okanye kuthethwa ngayo, ngokwenene yingcamango eqhelekileyo phakathi kwezibini. Ekuphandeni incwadi yakhe Ndixelele Yintoni Oyifunayo, UJustin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D., wavavanya abantu baseMelika abayi-4,175 kwaye wafumanisa ukuba ama-26 eepesenti abantu ababhinqileyo abesini esahlukileyo, iipesenti ezingama-52 zamadoda athandanayo, iipesenti ezingama-42 zabantu ababhinqileyo nabangatshatanga, kunye neepesenti ezingama-66 zamadoda angatshatanga. Kukho ii-subreddits ezipheleleyo kwi-Reddit ezinikezelwe kwi-r / cuckoldcommunity, r / cuckholdstories, kunye ne-r / cuckoldpsychology nganye enamashumi amawaka amalungu.

Kodwa kuthetha ukuthini i-cuckolding, kanye?

Apha, iimpendulo kuyo yonke imibuzo yakho ye-cuckolding (kunye nezinye mhlawumbi ubungazi nokuba unayo) kunye neengcebiso malunga nendlela yokunxibelelana malunga ne-cuckolding kunye neqabane lakho.

Hlala ukhululeke, khululeka kwaye uzivumele ukuba ubenakho ukujonga into entsha ngokwesondo.

Yintoni ukuCuckolding? Isifundo seMbali eKhawulezayo

Imbali ye-cuckolding inokuba yinto enzima- kodwa yiyo loo nto, njengomhlohli wesini kunye nonyango lobudlelwane, ndinomdla wokufundisa, ukwaphula amabala, kunye nokuxhobisa abantu ukuba bamkele ukuba bangobani. (Nditsho neendawo zakho ongazazi okwangoku!)

TBH, andinguye umlandeli wenkcazo esemthethweni ye-intanethi ye-cuckold. Kodwa, ngenxa yembali kunye nokuqhubeka nokuqhekeza i-heteronormitve stereotypes kuluntu lwethu, masithethe ngayo.

Ngokuka-Merriam-Webster, inkukhu yindoda enomfazi ongathembekanga. Umfazi wendoda ekrexezayo yicuckquean.

Umzekelo: kwi Hamilton, emva kokuba kufunyenwe ukuba u-Alexander Hamilton ngokwakhe ulele kunye nomnye umfazi, umyeni wakhe ubhalela uHamilton esithi "uh oh, wenze i-sucker engafanelekanga i-cuckold."

Ukutyhubela iminyaka (enkosi kukulunga), igama elithi cuckolding liye lavela ukuze lithethe into ethe kratya kwimigca yefesti okanye i-kink apho umntu (ohlala ebizwa ngokuba "yi-cuck") avulwe liqabane lakhe (elihlala libizwa ngokuba yi "cuckoldress" ) Ukwabelana ngesondo nomnye umntu (okusoloko kubizwa ngokuba "yinkunzi yenkomo"). Kwiimeko ezininzi, icuck ivuliwe ngokukodwa ngu ukubukela amaqabane abo abelana ngesondo nomnye umntu.

Kakade ke, njengamanye amagama amaninzi kummandla wezokwabelana ngesondo, inkcazo echanekileyo inokuthi ifikelele ekutolikeni kwesibini ngasinye kunye nokuba umntu ngamnye uvuma ntoni ngovuyo (mhlawumbi emva kokuba neengxoxo ezinde malunga namanqanaba okuthuthuzela).

Kule mihla, ungadlan 'indlebe nezibini ezininzi ezithatha inxaxheba ekuthatheni inkukhu kwaye umntu ngamnye anokuba nemibono eyahlukileyo yokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukufunxa kubo - ngumlingo wonxibelelwano, ukuzama, kunye nehlabathi elihlala liguquka ngokwesini!

Kutheni abantu bengena kwi-Cuckolding

Ukuba awuzange uve nge-cuckolding okanye awuzange ube nombono wokuzama, unokuzibuza ukuba kutheni izibini ezininzi ziyifumana intle kakhulu.

Kubantu abaninzi, umbono wokubukela amaqabane abo esenza izinto ezithandekayo nomnye umntu awonwabisi. Makhe ndikupeyinte umfanekiso: Uba neentlobano zesini kunye neqabane lakho rhoqo kwaye ngokucacileyo, kuyatshisa! Kodwa, kunqabile ukuba ubone ukuba ijongeka kanjani ivela kwezinye ii-engile kwaye zikhangeleka njani xa usabelana ngesondo. Ndiyathetha, yi-porn-action, phambi kobuso bakho, kwaye iqabane lakho yinkwenkwezi. (Idibeneyo: Ngaba i-Porn Virtual ichaphazela njani isondo kunye nobudlelwane?)

Kwabanye abantu abayonwabela i-voyeurism (ukonwabela ukubukela abantu besabelana ngesondo), ukubukela ngokwenene kuyonwabisa njengokuba usentshukumo (mhlawumbi nangakumbi). Kwaye kwabo babonisa imiboniso (abo banandipha ukulala ngesondo phambi kwabanye), oku kuyindlela eyonwabisayo yokuhlola oko.

Ngapha koko, kunokubakho amandla emidlalo eshukumayo xa edlala kwimeko yecuckold. Rhoqo, inkunzi yenkomo ikwindima ebaluleke kakhulu, idala imeko okanye imeko apho bobabini okanye abanye abantu banokuzithoba.

Kuxhomekeka kwisini sabantu ababandakanyekayo, i-cuckolding inokuba yindlela entle yokujonga isini sakho ngelixa uhlala kubudlelwane obukhoyo. Inyani eyolisayo: Bangaphezu kwe-12,000 abantu abakhangela kuGoogle "bi cuckold" nyanga zonke. (Idibeneyo: Yiyiphi intsingiselo yobundlobongela, ayithethi, kunye nendlela yokwazi ukuba u-Bi)

Kwaye kwabanye abantu, ukuthotywa kwenkukhu yeyona nto ibalulekileyo; ngokusisiseko, umbono wokukhohliswa (ngokuvumelana) uzisa iimvakalelo zomona kunye nokuthotywa okunokuba lukhulu kakhulu. Ukuthotywa ngokwenyani kuyiphupha eliqhelekileyo kunye nesihlobo esisondeleyo kumdlalo ophambili wokuzithoba.

I-Cuckolding sisikhongozeli apho izinto ezininzi eziguqukayo ezinomdla zinokuthi zenzeke: ukunyamezela (isenzo sokufumana uvuyo kulonwabo kunye nokukhula kweqabane lakho), umona (engeyiyo into embi), ukuzalisekisa iphupha, umdlalo wamandla iimeko azipheli.

Uqala njani ngokuCuckolding

Ngoku, ukuba ufunde malunga ne-cuckolding, uqala njani? (Ukuba wena neqabane lakho ninomdla wokuzama.)

Ingcebiso yam yokuqala kukuba sithethe. Oku kunokuba kuvakala kucacile, kodwa mandikucacise.

Okokuqala, thetha ngento ngamnye kuni ayifumanayo i-sexy malunga nombono we-cuckolding kwaye kutheni. Emva koko cacisa kwindima umntu ngamnye azakuthatha inxaxheba kuyo ukuba / nini ukubanjwa kwenkuku kwenzeka. Ngale ndlela nobabini kwiphepha elinye kwaye ungaqala ukucinga umbono omnandi ofanayo.

Emva koko, yise kwigumbi lokulala - kodwa nenjengobabini. Ngelixa nisabelana ngesondo, thethani kunye kunye malunga nokuba kuya kwenzeka ntoni ngoku ukuba ubukwimeko ye-cuckolding. Vumela umntu ngamnye ukuba abelane ngento abebezakuba beyenza, into abafuna ukuba iqabane labo liyenze, kunye nento umntu wesithathu anokuyenza. Unokucinga kwakhona ngokubukela iphonografi ye-ethics cuckolding ukuze ufumane i-comfier kunye nombono kwaye ubone ukuba ingadlala njani. (Ngaphezulu apha: Unokuba njani ne-Healthy Threesome)

Oku kubalulekile kuba kuyenza ibe yinyani kwaye ikuvumela ukuba udlale le ntsomi kunye ngaphambi kokuba utsibele kuyo nantoni na.

Emva koko, qala ujonge! Zininzi kakhulu ii -apps ezibandakanya ezokwabelana ngesondo ukuba izibini zinokusebenzisa ukufumana umntu wesithathu ukuba azibandakanye nolonwabo. I-Hashtag Open ivumela izibini ukuba zenze iprofayili malunga nabo, into abayifunayo, kunye noko bakhululekileyo malunga namalungiselelo. Oku kuqinisekisa ukuba abantu banokunciphisa ukukhangela kwabo ukuze bafumane abantu abafanelekileyo abavumayo ukuzonwabisa ngokuzonwabisa. Feeld lolunye usetyenziso olunokwabelana ngesondo kwizibini ezitshatileyo kunye ezingatshatanga ezijonge "kumhla ongaphaya kwesiqhelo."

Ilizwi kwizilumko: Ungaze "umangalise" nabani na nge-cuckolding (okanye nantoni na eyabelana ngesondo ngayo). Ukuba umntu uyavuma ukulala nawe kodwa uzimisele ukubazisa ekhaya kwiqabane lakho ... ngokuqinisekileyo ayisiyondlela ilungileyo leyo. Ukunyaniseka, ukunxibelelana kakhulu, kunye nokucwangciswa ziyafuneka kumava amaninzi ezesondo- kwaye undithembe, yenza ukuba ixesha lesini libe bhetele xa lingenaxhala kwaye imida yomntu wonke / imida ivulekile! (Eyeleleneyo: UyiSeta njani imida naye nabani na ebomini bakho)

Yiba Simahla, Bathandi Bamaxhala!

Ukuba kukho nantoni na oyithathayo kule nto, mayibe yile: thetha, nxibelelana, unxibelelane. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa kunokuba nzima (kwaye kumnandi ngakumbi) ukuba uzisa konke okulindelweyo kunye nemida kwindawo evulekileyo ukuze onke amaqela abandakanyekayo azibone. Emva koko, hamba uye konwaba.

URachel Wright, M.A., L.M.F.T., (yena) yingcali yengqondo enelayisensi, umfundisi-ntsapho, kunye nengcali yobudlelwane esekelwe kwisiXeko saseNew York.Usisithethi esinamava, umququzeleli weqela, kunye nombhali. Usebenze namawakawaka abantu kwihlabathi liphela ukubanceda ukuba bakhale kancinci kwaye bajike ngakumbi.

Uphengululo lwe