Iinyani ezi-4 Malunga Nomsindo Wabasetyhini Eziza Kukunceda Uzigcine Usempilweni

Umxholo

• 1. Umsindo awuyiyo imvakalelo eyingozi
• 2. Ukufihla umsindo kunemiphumo
• 3. Umsindo obotshelelwe kwiziphumo unokuba yingozi ngokwasemoyeni
• 4. Iindlela eziphilileyo zokubonisa umsindo

Umsindo unokukuxhobisa, ukuba uyazi ukuba yintoni esempilweni ngokwasemphefumlweni kwaye yintoni engekhoyo.

Phantse iiveki ezimbini ezidlulileyo, uninzi lwethu lubukele ubungqina obukhaliphile bukaGqirha Christine Blasey Ford phambi kweNdlu yeeNgwevu njengoko ebelana ngeenkcukacha zakhe malunga nokuhlukumezeka kwakhe kwinqanaba lokufikisa kunye nokutyholwa ngokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo ngulowo wayetyunjwe yiNkundla ePhakamileyo yezoBulungisa, u-Jaji Brett Kavanaugh.

IKavanaugh ngoku iqinisekisiwe yiNdlu yeeNgwevu kwaye ngokusemthethweni yiNkundla ePhakamileyo yezoBulungisa. Ingqumbo kubafazi abaninzi, abo basindileyo ekuhlaselweni ngokwesondo, kunye nabadibaniseli abangamadoda kwimbutho ye- #metoo ilandelwe.

Ukuqeshwa kukaKavanaugh ebusweni bokungaqiniseki ngembali yakhe yokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo yenye yeziganeko ezininzi ezenze ukuba uninzi lwabasetyhini bazive ngathi bayinkqubela phambili ukuya kumalungelo alinganayo phakathi kwamadoda nabafazi.

Kwaye oko kuguqulelwe kuqhankqalazo oluninzi, ingxoxo evulekileyo ngakumbi malunga neziphumo ezinobungozi kuluntu apho amadoda ubukhulu becala abambe izikhundla zamandla, kunye nomsindo omninzi.

I-chorus yoqhankqalazo lwabasetyhini ayisoloko yamkelekile - ngakumbi xa uluntu lubona ukuba sikhona enomsindo.

Kumadoda, umsindo uthathwa njengendoda. Kubafazi, intlalo ihlala isixelela ukuba ayamkelekanga.

Kodwa imiyalezo yenkcubeko yokuba ingqumbo yomfazi iyityhefu inokuchaphazela kakubi impilo yethu yengqondo neyasemzimbeni. Ukuxelelwa, njengabafazi, ukuba umsindo unjalo imbi kunokubangela ihlazo lokwakha, elinokusithintela ekuboniseni le mvakalelo iphilileyo.

Ngelixa singenakukwazi ukulawula indlela abanye abawufumana ngayo umsindo wethu - ukwazi indlela yokuchonga, ukuveza, kunye nokusebenzisa le mvakalelo kunokuba kukuxhobisa.

Njengengcali yeengqondo, nantsi into endifuna ukuba abantu ababhinqileyo nabesilisa bayazi malunga nomsindo.

1. Umsindo awuyiyo imvakalelo eyingozi

Ukukhula kwiintsapho apho ungquzulwano lwalukhukuliswe phantsi kombhoxo okanye lubonakaliswe ngogonyamelo kunokubangela inkolelo yokuba umsindo uyingozi.

Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba umsindo awubalimazi abanye.

Yintoni eyonakalisayo yindlela umsindo onxibelelana ngayo. Umsindo ovakaliswa njengokuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ngamazwi kushiya amanxeba ngokweemvakalelo, kodwa ukukhathazeka okwabiweyo ngaphandle kobundlobongela kunokukhuthaza ulwalamano kunye nokunceda ukulungisa ubudlelwane.

Umsindo luphawu lwezithuthi ngokweemvakalelo Isixelela ukuba siphethwe kakubi okanye senzakaliswa ngandlel 'ithile. Xa singenazintloni ngomsindo wethu, inokusinceda siqaphele iimfuno zethu kwaye sihlakulele ukuzinyamekela.

2. Ukufihla umsindo kunemiphumo

Ukukholelwa ukuba umsindo uyityhefu kunokusenza siginye ingqumbo yethu. Kodwa ukufihla le mvakalelo kunemiphumo. Ngapha koko, umsindo ongapheliyo kwiinkxalabo zempilo ezinje ngokungalali, unxunguphalo kunye noxinzelelo.

Umsindo ongasonjululwanga kunye nokungachazwanga unokukhokelela ekuziphatheni okungenampilo, njengokusebenzisa iziyobisi, ukutya kakhulu kunye nokuchitha kakhulu.

Iimvakalelo ezingonwabisiyo kufuneka zithuthuzeleke, kwaye xa singenayo inkxaso enothando, sifumana ezinye iindlela zokuphelisa iimvakalelo zethu.

Gcina iimvakalelo zakho zisempilweni ngokuzichaza Nokuba kukuziva kungakhuselekanga ukujongana nomntu owenzakalisayo okanye imeko, iindawo ezinje ngokushicilela, ukucula, ukucamngca, okanye ukuthetha nonyango zinokubonelela ngendawo yokufumana ukonwaba.

3. Umsindo obotshelelwe kwiziphumo unokuba yingozi ngokwasemoyeni

Ukuthembela kumsindo wethu ukutshintsha iziphumo kunokusikhokelela ekubeni sizive singenathemba, silusizi, kwaye siphoxekile, ngakumbi ukuba umntu okanye imeko ayitshintshi.

Unoko engqondweni, ngaphambi kokuba ujongane nomnye umntu, zibuze: "Yintoni endinethemba lokuyifumana kolu nxibelelwano?" kwaye “Ndizokuziva njani xa kungekho nto itshintshayo?”

Asinakho ukutshintsha abanye abantu, kwaye nangona oko kunokuba kukudimazeka, kusenokusikhulula ukwazi oko sikuko unako kwaye ayikwazi ulawulo.

4. Iindlela eziphilileyo zokubonisa umsindo

Sebenzisa ingxelo ethi "Mna" yenye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokubonisa ngamazwi ukuziva unomsindo.

Ukuba neemvakalelo zakho kunokuthambisa ukuzikhusela komnye umntu, kubavumela ukuba beve kwaye bawamkele amazwi akho. Endaweni yokuthi, "Uhlala undicaphukisa," zama ukuthi, "Ndinomsindo kuba ..."

Ukuba ukujongana naloo mntu akunakwenzeka, ukuhambisa amandla akho kwi-activism kunokubonelela ngengqondo yoluntu, enokuthi ixhase kwaye inyange.

Kwiimeko apho abantu baye basinda kwi-trauma, njengokuhlukunyezwa, ukubethwa, okanye ukusweleka komntu omthandayo, usazi ukuba amava akho anokunceda omnye umntu azive enamandla.

UJuli Fraga sisayikholojisti enelayisensi esekwe eSan Francisco, California. Waphumelela i-PsyD kwiDyunivesithi yaseMantla Colado kwaye waya kubudlelwane basemva kwexesha e-UC Berkeley. Unomdla ngempilo yabasetyhini, usondela kuzo zonke iiseshoni zakhe ngokufudumala, ukunyaniseka, kunye nemfesane. Bona ukuba uphi na Twitter.