Kutheni nditshaya imbiza notata wam

Umxholo

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UMelissa Etheridge wenza imixholo kule veki xa wayethetha ngentsangu-uxelela uYahoo ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukuba "uza kuba nomsi" kunye nabantwana bakhe abakhulileyo kunotywala. Ngelixa le ngxelo ibangele itoni yesikhalo kunye nokubuyela umva, kufuneka ndinyaniseke kuwe: i-Etheridge kunye nabantwana bayo ayingabo bodwa abatshaya ukhula kunye. Utata kunye nam besitshaya imbiza kunye ukusukela kwiminyaka eyi-18, kwaye kungcono kakhulu kunalo naliphi na ixesha sineglasi yewayini (okanye ezimbini, okanye ezintathu). Ndiyazi ukuba itoni yenu inikina iintloko ngokungakholelwa, kodwa mandibuye umva ndikubalisele ibali.

Ukukhula, andikaze ndibesele kwiibhotile zebhiya, isipholisi sewayini, okanye ukukroba encotsheni yengqokelela yotywala yabazali bomntu. Nokuba bukhona nabuphi na utywala obukhoyo, andizange nje ndithengiswe kubo. Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba utywala abuzange buhlale kakuhle nam.

Into endizame ukuyizama-kwaye ndagqibela ekubeni ngumlandeli-yayiyintsangu. UMelissa Etheridge uthi waqala ukufumanisa ukhula xa wayetshaya intsangu yamayeza ukuze ancede kwichemotherapy ngo-2004. Kwaye nangona engenawo umhlaza namhlanje, usakhanyisa rhoqo. “Yayilubizo lwam lokuvuka,” utshilo u-Etheridge kuYahoo. "Xa ndandiyisebenzisa njengeyeza, kwacaca kum ukuba iye yanyeliswa kwaye ayiqondwa, kwaye ndandifuna ngokwenene ukunceda abantu ababandezelekileyo." (PS Nasi isizathu sokuba ungafanelanga ukuthelekisa ukhula neziyobisi ze-opioid.)

Ngokuqinisekileyo, andifumananga ukhula ngokusemthethweni njenge-Etheridge (kwaye andikuxhasi ukwaphulwa komthetho namhlanje): Ndandineminyaka eli-16, kwitheko lendlu, kwaye umntu othile wandiphathela i-bong rip. Ngaphandle kokukhohlela kangangemizuzu engama-20 ethe ngqo emva koko (emva, i-bong hit yayiyeyona ndlela i-BIG yokuqala ubomi bam njenge-pothead), i-calorie-free, i-vibe ekhululekile ihlanjwe phezu kwam, kwaye andizange ndijonge ngasemva ukusukela oko. Kodwa kwakusele kuyiminyaka embalwa kamva, xa ndamkela abahlobo abambalwa ekhayeni lam kusasa-kwaye-bhaka, apho ndafumana isiqingatha sendawo eqhumayo kwiveranda yethu ekhuselweyo. Ndikhumbula ndidibanisa ezo ziqwenga, ndisenzela irekhodi-kwaye ndaqonda ukuba ngutata owayengomnye wamatye ekhaya.

Njalo intombazana katata, sasisondelelene kakhulu ngelixa ndikhula. Ukuba ndafumana ibakala elibi kuvavanyo okanye into embi eyenzekileyo nenkwenkwe, bendidla ngokuxelela uTata kuqala. Yena nje ndifumene nam ndihlala ndimfumana. Ke xa bendinomzuzu wokuza-kuYesu wokuba sobabini sasibaxuluba ngamatye, iphantse yadala ukungangqinelani kulwalamano lwethu ngezona ndlela zihlekisayo. Sobabini sasinemfihlo efanayo (kwaye nam Ndiyazi yakhe), kodwa akukho namnye kuthi owayenokuthetha ngayo. Enye, umama nobhuti babengekho kuloliwe weembiza. Kwaye, ndandisesesikolweni samabanga aphakamileyo kwaye intsangu yayingekho semthethweni ngokupheleleyo kwilizwe endakhulela kulo, ngamayeza okanye ngenye indlela.

Kwathatha ixesha lokufundisa ukuba sitshaye kunye: Ngelo xesha wafumana i-bong esetyenzisiweyo emotweni yam. (Funda: imoto andithengele yona.) Ukuphatha izixhobo zamayeza ezazisetyenziswa ngelo xesha yayilulwaphulo-mthetho, kwaye wayehamba ngam ngenxa yokungabi nankathalo. Kwaye phulaphula, wayenyanisile ngokupheleleyo. Kungenxa yokuba ngelixa ndikuthanda ukutshaya imbiza, isiqu semoto yakho asiyondawo ilungileyo yokugcina izinto zakho. Kodwa isivulele kwincoko malunga nendlela esitshaya ngayo imbiza nganye, kwaye wandixelela ngamabali okuxulutywa ngamatye kule minyaka idlulileyo, elungileyo, njengee-1970s-kwaye ekugqibeleni, kwiseshoni yethu yokuqala kunye. (Eyeleleneyo: Kukho indawo yoMzimba eNtsha yokuvula abathandi bentsangu eCalifornia)

Ubuchule bam bokuqengqeleka ndawonye kwamchukumisa; Ndimangalisiwe yindlela yakhe yokuphefumla. Sahleka kakhulu ngaloo mini, ngelixa sasigcina engqondweni ukuba kutheni kwaye kutheni xa kupholile ukuxulutywa ngamatye naxa ungafanelekanga ukutshaya. (Njengemoto, umzekelo.) Incoko yayiyeyona iselubala kakhulu ebesinayo okwethutyana-uhlobo lwencoko olungazange luze neglasi yewayini okanye ibhiya ngesidlo sangokuhlwa.

Siye ukusukela oko savutha kunye njengesigidi amaxesha (ngoku ngokusemthethweni, BTW). Ukuza kuthi ga namhlanje, ndingathanda ukuhlala phezulu kwaye ndincokole kakuhle notata kunokuba nditye iicocktails ezimbalwa kwaye ndichithe iiyure ezingama-24 ezizayo ebhedini ndingaphumelelanga ndizama ukuhoversa isandwich yeqanda netshizi. Masithi nje ndingangumhlobo osenyongweni kaMary Jane. Ngaphandle kukaTata, kunjalo.

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