Ngokwasemzimbeni, Ndikulungele ukulala ngesondo emva kokubeleka. Engqondweni? Hayi okuninzi

Umxholo

• Uloyiko lokukhulelwa kwakhona
• Ukutshintsha izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka
• Unxibelelwano njengesibini

Ukusuka kukoyika ukukhulelwa kwakhona, ukuze wonwabe ngomzimba wakho omtsha, isondo lwasemva kokubeleka lingaphezulu kokungokwasemzimbeni kuphela.

Umzekeliso nguBrittany England

Ukungeniswa okulandelayo kuvela kumbhali okhethe ukuhlala engaziwa.

Kulungile, sendizakuba sesichengeni ngokwenyani apha kwaye ndivume into ethile eyoyikisayo kwaye eneentloni kakhulu kum: bendinosana neenyanga neenyanga ezidlulileyo, kwaye ndinokubala ngakwisandla esinye amaxesha am ukusukela ngoko.

Ngokwenyani, uyazi ntoni? Kutheni uzenza ngathi-yenza loo nto isiqingatha yesandla.

Ewe, kunjalo.

Ndinexhala lokuba kukho into engalunganga ngam, ukuba kukho into engalunganga ngomyeni wam, ukuba siza kuze sibuyele “esiqhelweni,” okanye ukuba umtshato wethu uza kutshabalala ngonaphakade.

Kodwa ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiyeke ukukhathazeka, kuba uyazi ntoni? Ukuba nomntwana kunzima ngokwaneleyo ngaphandle kwabo basandula ukubeleka nabo beziva benyanzelekile ukuba babelane ngesondo ngaphambi kokuba bafune.

Inyani yile, sithetha kakhulu malunga nokuba uya kuziva nini ngokwasemzimbeni ukulungele ukuqala kwakhona ngesondo emva kokubeleka, kodwa ngokweemvakalelo Izinto zinento yokwenza kakhulu nokufumana imood nayo.

Nazi ezinye zezona zithintelo zendlela onokuthi uhlangane nazo njengomzali omtsha, ukuze kuthi xa uzifumana, wazi ukuba awuwedwa.

Uloyiko lokukhulelwa kwakhona

Ukuba usandul 'ukubeleka, oku kunokuba luloyiko lokwenene kuwe, ngakumbi ukuba akukho namnye kuni uthathe amanyathelo asisigxina okuzala inzala (kwaye ke, nokuba unayo - uloyiko luyimvakalelo efanelekileyo kwaye siwevile onke amabali ukukhulelwa kwe-vasectomy).

Kwimeko yethu, ndingathi le yeyona nto ibalulekileyo, ukuba ayingoyena ndoqo, ekungabikho kwethu kwigumbi lokulala. Ukubeka nje, bendinokukhulelwa okunzima ngenene, ukubeleka, kunye namava emva kokubeleka, kwaye ndiyakholelwa ngokwenyani ukuba umzimba wam awuzukuphinda ukhulelwe kwakhona.

Siye saxoxa ngolawulo lwethu lokuzalwa ngelixa ndikhulelweyo, ngesigqibo sokuba umyeni wam uzakuthatha inyathelo lokuthinjwa. Kodwa ngenxa yezinto ezimbalwa ezahlukeneyo ezintsonkothileyo, khange yenzeke.

Ngenxa yoko, inyani, bendisoyika ngesondo. Akunjalo kuphela umnqweno wam nawuphi na umsebenzi wesondo ophezulu kakhulu ngoku, ngenxa yokuncelisa kunye nokulala, kunye nazo zonke ezinye iimfuno zobomi, kodwa isondo, kum, kubonakala ngathi ngumngcipheko omkhulu wokuthatha ngaphandle kokuqinisekisa ngekhe uphinde ukhulelwe.

Ngelixa ukwabelana ngesondo nomyeni wam kunokuba lixesha lokonwaba, isondo kum okwangoku siziva siyingozi, ishishini eliyingozi- kwaye hayi ngendlela elungileyo.

Ndiqala ukucinga ngorhwebo lwale mizuzu imbalwa (ahem) enokuthi ikhokelele kwiinyanga ezili-9 zokungonwabi, iiyure zomsebenzi, kunye neenyanga zokuchacha kum, kwaye iqala nje ukuziva… ayikufanelanga kwaphela.

Ndiyaxolisa, kodwa kum okwangoku, yinyaniso leyo. Izinto azivakali ngokufanayo, amalungu omzimba akwizikhundla ezahlukileyo, amanye amalungu anokuvuza, kwaye emhlabeni kwenzeka njani ukuba uzive ukhululekile xa uhlala uxhalabile malunga nokujamelana nobunzima osele ubunyamezele kwakhona?

Ukutshintsha izinto eziphambili ngokubaluleka

Ngaphezulu koloyiko olundithinteleyo kwanokufuna ukuqaphela isondo kwakhona, yinto yokuba izinto eziphambili kum zingabandakanyi isondo ngoku. Ndingene nzulu kwimodi yokusinda ngoku kangangokuba kuye kufuneke ndilinde umyeni wam abuyele ekhaya kwaye andikhulule kwimisebenzi yokukhulisa abantwana ukuze ndenze izinto ezisisiseko njengokusebenzisa indlu yangasese okanye ukuhlamba.

Usana lwethu aluzange lulale ubusuku bonke-luvuka ubuncinci kabini okanye kathathu ngobusuku ngo-a Kulungile ubusuku-kwaye kuba ndinomsebenzi okude ekhaya, ndisebenza ngokusisigxina ngelixa ndimkhathalela ngokusisigxina.

Ukuphela kosuku, konke endifuna ukukwenza kukulala naliphi na ixesha elibalulekileyo endinokulifumana. Ukwabelana ngesondo, kwakhona kum, akuziva kufanelekile kurhwebo-lokuphulukana nalo naliphi na inani lokulala.

Unxibelelwano njengesibini

Kukho intetho eninzi malunga necala lomzimba wesondo emva kokubeletha, kodwa indlela ubomi bakho bobulili obubonakala ngayo njengomntu osandul 'ukuzala buqu buqu kwaye bubandakanya ngaphezu komzimba ophilisiweyo.

Ukuba nomntwana kubutshintsha ubomi bakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho ngeendlela ezinamandla kangangokuba kunokuba nzima ukuba uzame nje ukutsiba ubuyele kwindlela obuqhele ukwenza ngayo izinto ngaphandle kokujonga indlela obutshintshe ngayo ubudlelwane bakho.

Uphononongo olunomdla lwe-2018 luthelekisa ukoneliseka ngokwesondo phakathi kwamaqela amabini abantu ababhinqileyo abasemva kokubeleka - elinye lafumana ukhathalelo oluqhelekileyo lwasemva kokubeleka kunye nelokufumana iingcebiso ngezibini kunye neqela.

Iqela elifumene iingcebiso malunga nokusondelelana, ukunxibelelana, iimpendulo zesini sabasetyhini, kunye nemicimbi yezengqondo nezentlalo ejikeleze isondo lwasemva kokubeleka lalinolwaneliseko oluphezulu kakhulu ngokwesondo emva kweeveki ezisi-8 kuneqela lolawulo.

Khawufane ucinge, akunjalo? Ukwamkela ukuba isondo emva kokubeleka kungabandakanya ngaphezulu kokuphilisa umntu phaya ezantsi nokwenza imisebenzi njengesiqhelo kuncede abasetyhini ukuba babenobomi obungcono besondo? Ngubani obengayi thunk?

Inqaku kuyo yonke le nto, bazali endibathandayo, kukungaqinisekisi nje ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuba nenza ngcono kakhulu kwisebe lokulala kunam, kodwa ukusikhumbuza sonke ukuba xa kuziwa ekuxhaseni nasekufundiseni abantu malunga ukukhangela ubomi emva kokuba nomntwana, sisenomsebenzi omninzi ekufuneka siwenzile.

Ke ukuba uyasokola ngobomi bakho bezesondo ngoku, okokuqala, musa ukuzibetha malunga naloo nto. Kukho nje akukho ndlela "ilungileyo" okanye "engalunganga" yokusondela kwisondo kwinqanaba lasemva kokubeleka, kwaye zonke izibini ziya kwahluka.

Endaweni yoko, thatha ixesha lokuvuma ezokwenyani zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo ezinokuthi zidlale, unxibelelane njengesibini, kwaye ungoyiki ukufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha ngokunjalo. (Jonga isikhokelo seHealthline kunyango olufikelelekayo.)

Nguwo eyakho ubomi besondo, kunye eyakho amava omva kokubeleka, ke nguwe kuphela onokukwazi okulungele wena neqabane lakho. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuqinisekisa ukuba uziva ukhululekile, kwaye isondo liyaqhubekeka ukuba ngamava amahle kuwe xa uziva ukulungele- hayi into oziva unetyala okanye ulihlazo ngayo.