Ukwahlula ukuxhalaba ebantwaneni

Ukwahlula ukuxhalaba ebantwaneni linqanaba lokukhula apho umntwana enexhala xa ahlukaniswa nomongi wokuqala (uhlala engunina).

Njengokuba abantwana bekhula, iimvakalelo zabo kunye nokuphendula kwabo kwihlabathi elibangqongileyo kubonakala ngathi kwenzeka ngokulandelelana. Phambi kweenyanga ezisi-8, iintsana zintsha kwihlabathi kangangokuba ziswele ukuqonda ukuba yintoni eqhelekileyo nekhuselekileyo kunye nokuba yintoni eyingozi. Ngenxa yoko, useto olutsha okanye abantu babonakala bengaboyiki.

Ukusuka kwiinyanga ezisi-8 ukuya kwezili-14, abantwana bahlala besoyika xa bedibana nabantu abatsha okanye betyelele iindawo ezintsha. Bayabaqonda abazali babo njengabaqhelekileyo nabakhuselekileyo. Xa bohlukene nabazali babo, baziva besoyikiswa kwaye bengakhuselekanga.

Ukwahlukana koxinzelelo linqanaba eliqhelekileyo njengoko umntwana ekhula kwaye ekhula. Incede ukugcina ookhokho bethu bephila kwaye inceda abantwana bafunde indlela yokujonga ilizwe elibangqongileyo.

Ihlala iphela xa umntwana emalunga neminyaka emibini ubudala. Kule minyaka, abantwana abancinci baqala ukuqonda ukuba abazali basenokungabonakali ngoku, kodwa baya kubuya kamva. Kuqhelekile nokuba bavavanye inkululeko yabo.

Ukufumana uxinzelelo lokwahlulahlula, abantwana kufuneka:

• Zive ukhuselekile kwikhaya labo.
• Thembela kwabanye abantu ngaphandle kwabazali babo.
• Ndiyathemba ukuba abazali babo bazakubuya.

Nokuba sele abantwana belazi eli nqanaba, uxinzelelo lokwahlulahlula lunokubuya ngamaxesha oxinzelelo. Uninzi lwabantwana luza kuva inqanaba lokwahlukana koxinzelelo xa bekwimeko ezingaqhelekanga, amaxesha amaninzi xa bohlulwe kubazali babo.

Xa abantwana bekwiimeko (ezinjengezibhedlele) kwaye bephantsi koxinzelelo (njengokugula okanye iintlungu), bafuna ukhuseleko, intuthuzelo kunye nokukhuselwa ngabazali babo. Kuba uxinzelelo lunokuyenza mandundu intlungu, ukuhlala nomntwana kangangoko kunokwenzeka kunokunciphisa iintlungu.

Umntwana onexhala lokwahlulahlula phakathi anokuba nakho oku kulandelayo:

• Uxinzelelo olugqithisileyo xa wahlulwe kumnakekeli ophambili
• Amaphupha amabi
• Ukungafuni ukuya esikolweni okanye kwezinye iindawo ngenxa yokoyika ukwahlukana
• Ukungavumi ukuya kulala ngaphandle komkhathaleli oyintloko kufutshane
• Izikhalazo eziphindaphindiweyo zomzimba
• Ukukhathazeka ngokuphulukana, okanye ukwenzakala okuza kumongi wokuqala

Akukho vavanyo kule meko, kuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo.

Ukuba uxinzelelo olukhulu lokwahlukana luyaqhubeka nobudala be-2, utyelelo kunye nomboneleli wezempilo unokunceda ukumisela ukuba umntwana unengxaki yokuxhalaba okanye enye imeko.

Akukho nyango lufunekayo kuxinzelelo lokwahlukana okuqhelekileyo.

Abazali banokunceda iintsana zabo okanye iintsana ezincinci ukuba ziqhelane nokungabikho kwabo ngokuvumela abanonopheli abathembekileyo ukuba babambe umntwana. Oku kunceda umntwana afunde ukuthembana kunye nokudibana nabanye abantu abadala kwaye aqonde ukuba abazali babo bazakubuya.

Ngexesha leenkqubo zonyango, umzali kufuneka ahambe nomntwana ukuba kunokwenzeka. Xa umzali engenako ukuhamba nomntwana, ukuveza umntwana kule meko kwangaphambili kunokuba luncedo, njengokundwendwela ugqirha ngaphambi kovavanyo.

Ezinye izibhedlele zineengcali zobomi babantwana ezinokuthi zichaze iinkqubo kunye neemeko zonyango kubantwana bayo yonke iminyaka. Ukuba umntwana wakho ukhathazekile kwaye ufuna ukongezwa kwezonyango, buza umboneleli wakho malunga nezo nkonzo.

Xa kungenakwenzeka ukuba abazali babe kunye nomntwana, njengotyando, chaza amava emntwaneni. Mqinisekise umntwana ukuba umzali ulindile, kwaye phi.

Kubantwana abadala abangakhange baphelelwe lixhala lokwahlukana, unyango lunokubandakanya:

• Amayeza alwa noxinzelelo
• Utshintsho kwiindlela zokuba ngumzali
• Iingcebiso kubazali nakumntwana

Unyango lwamatyala amabi unokubandakanya:

• Imfundo yosapho
• Unyango losapho
• Thetha unyango

Abantwana abancinci abaneempawu eziphucula emva kweminyaka emi-2 ziqhelekile, nokuba uxinzelelo luza kubuya kamva ngexesha loxinzelelo. Xa ukwahlukana koxinzelelo kwenzeka kwinqanaba lokufikisa, kunokubonisa ukukhula kwesifo sokukhathazeka.

Biza umnikezeli wakho ukuba umntwana wakho unexhala lokwahlulahlula emva kweminyaka emi-2.

IAmerican Academy yePediatrics iwebhusayithi. Indlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo lokwahlukana komntwana wakho. www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/Pages/Sothing-Your-Childs-Separation-Anxiety.aspx. Ukuhlaziywa ngoNovemba 21, 2015. Ifikeleleke ngoJuni 12, 2020.

UCarter RG, Feigelman S. Unyaka wesibini. Ku: Kliegman RM, St Geme JW, Blum NJ, Shah SS, Tasker RC, Wilson KM, ii-eds. Incwadi kaNelson yeNcwadi yePediatrics. Umhla wama-21. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahluko 23.

IRosenberg DR, iChiriboga JA. Ukuxhalaba. Ku: Kliegman RM, St Geme JW, Blum NJ, Shah SS, Tasker RC, Wilson KM, ii-eds. Incwadi kaNelson yeNcwadi yePediatrics. Umhla wama-21. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahluko 38.