Iinkcukacha ezili-10 zabafazi malunga nendlela ababecaciswe ngayo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca

Umxholo

• "Emva koko wandilandela ejimini yonke into endiyenzayo ukuze ndibukele ifom yam."
• "Phambi kwe wam Waye wachaza ukuba akukho nanye kwezi ntshukumo eya kusebenza. "
• "Uqhawule umtshato wam."
• "Ukuba ndifuna ingcebiso yakhe, ngendibuzile."
• "Uthathe iintambo zokulwa ezandleni zam."
• "Amadoda angayilungisa ifomu yam kodwa angayihoyi indlela embi yabanye abafana."
• "Umfana undixelele ukuba ndiphakamise ubunzima obulula."
• "Wayengazi ukuba yintoni into yokufa yaseRomania."
• "Uxelele umntu okwimo entle, phakathi kweminyaka yama-20 ukuba angabi 'nzima kakhulu."
• "Emva kokuba ebone isethi yam yokuqala yokusebenza yeepounds ze-245, ngokukhawuleza watshintsha intliziyo."
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Konke kwaqala ngexesha lokuzama ukusebenza njengoDwayne "Iliwa" uJohnson. Ndandihleli kumatshini we-cable row, ndenza umsebenzi wokugqibela wokuzilolonga umva ka-DJ-umbulali obambeleyo ozele yimiqolo, intambo yokutsala, kunye ne-dumbbell shrugs. Ngeli xesha, amandla am okubamba adutyulwa, ngoko ngelixa ndiphumle phakathi kweesethi zam ezimbini zokugqibela, ndajonga izandla zam. Indoda endala esebenza kumatshini olandelayo ngaphezulu igqiba, ngalo mzuzu, ukuba ithi kum: "Ewe, ezo ziifowuni!" ngokungathi andizange ndazibona ngaphambili ebomini bam.

WTF? Ndinee-headphone zam kunye nomculo opheleleyo. Ndiyayazi indlela yokuziphatha kwigumbi lobunzima. Kwaye ubukho beefowuni ngokuqinisekileyo buwela phantsi kwesambulela "solwazi oluqhelekileyo." Akukho nasinye isizathu esiqondakalayo sokuba kutheni lo mfo ebeya kwenza le ngxelo.

Kodwa nokuba akukho nanye kwezo zinto yayiyinyani, olo hlobo lokuchazwa olungacelwanga ithoni-soze ilunge. Mansplaining soze ilunge. Kwaye kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, apho abasetyhini bakha bomelele, imizimba ye-badass yokulwa ubukho babantu? Ngokuqinisekileyo isihogo asifanele ukubhabha. (Kulungile apha: Ingxaki enkulu ngeDudes Mansplaining kwiGym.)

Nangona kunjalo, ukucwangciswa kwemvula kunetha ngexesha lokuzilolonga kwabasetyhini njengokubila ngexesha leklasi yokujikeleza. Xa ndabuza abahlobo bam bakaFacebook ukuba bakhe banyamezela imeko efanayo ngelixa besebenza, kwabonakala ngathi wonke umntu obhinqileyo owenza umthambo kwinethiwekhi yam wayenayo. Nangona Ibali elinye malunga nee-dudes ezichaza isihogo ngaphandle kokusebenza kwabo. (Akumangalisi ukuba abanye abantu basetyhini boyike igumbi lobunzima.)

Amabali ayinyani angezantsi aya kukwenza uqinise amanqindi, uqengqe amehlo akho, kwaye ufuna ukubhalisela udidi lomdlalo wamanqindi-kodwa banokukwenza uqonde ukuba ube lixhoba lokuchasa ixesha okanye ezimbini ngokwakho.

Madoda, yiyekeni. Kwaye bafazi, masilwe emva. Kungenxa yokuba kukho abalinganiswa abaneleyo ~ ekufuneka ujongane nabo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca-kwaye, esihogweni, amadoda amabi ekufuneka ujongane nawo ngaphandle yokuzivocavoca umzimba kunye nomsebenzi wokucoca umntu osebenza nzima akufuneki abe ngomnye wabo.

"Emva koko wandilandela ejimini yonke into endiyenzayo ukuze ndibukele ifom yam."

Ngenye imini, bendisenza ukucoca amandla kwindawo yokuzivocavoca (endiyifundileyo ukuba ndenza njani ngokufanelekileyo njengembaleki yomkhondo oqeqeshiweyo yomelele kunye nomqeqeshi womgangatho). Ekupheleni kweeseti zam, umqeqeshi weza kum wandixelela ukuba mhlawumbi ndiphakamisa kakhulu kwaye ke wazama ukundithengisa iphakheji yoqeqesho kunye naye ukuze "ndifunde okungakumbi malunga nokuphakamisa." Ndathi, "ewe ... ndilungile." Emva koko wandilandela ejikeleza indawo yokuzivocavoca umzimba wam wonke "ukubukela ifom yam." Ndandinomdla wokuba wayeza kuzama ukundibhatalela uqeqesho xa ndandisenza uqeqesho lwam. Andizange ndiphinde ndibuyele kulaa ndawo yokuzivocavoca kuba ndandicaphukile. " -UKristin, 26, kwisiXeko saseNew York

"Phambi kwe wam Waye wachaza ukuba akukho nanye kwezi ntshukumo eya kusebenza. "

Ndifundisa iklasi ye-hip-hop amanqindi kunye nomqeqeshi kwiklasi yomdlalo wamanqindi ngaphambi kokuba ibukele. Phambi kweklasi yam (ehlala igcwaliswa ubuninzi, kwaye ndiyenzile, ndayiphuhlisa, ndiyiphanda, kwaye ndayichaza) wachaza ukuba akukho nanye kwezi ntshukumo eya kuba yimpumelelo kubo ekulweni. Uthe zonke zenziwe ngeentshukumo ezinesihloko esingeyonyani se "manqindi." Uh, kulungile, kuba ngubani onokwenza i-twerking aze awise ukwenza i-burpee ukuya ekulweni kwabo? -UKelley, 31, kwisiXeko saseNew York

"Uqhawule umtshato wam."

Indoda endala yeza kum ngelixa ndandisebenza kwenye yeekholamu zentambo ndisenza izandiso ze-triceps ezingaphezulu usebenzisa intambo encamathiselwe kabini. Ndiphumle phakathi kweeseti xa le ndoda yeza, yandikhulula kwisincamathiselo sam, kwaye ndancamathisela uncamathiselo lwe-pushdown. Ukuba oko bekungacaphukisi ngokwaneleyo, uqhubeke nokubonisa yakhe ubuchule kwaye ndicebise ukuba ndisebenzise isincamathelisi sakhe endaweni yeyam. Ngelixa ndizama ukuzigcina ndipholile, ndacacisa ukuba ndikhetha indlela yam yokwenza izinto njengoko bendilandela inkqubo ethile yoqeqesho kwaye yiyo loo nto ifuna oko. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, le ndoda ayizange ikuthande ukuvalelwa yaza yahamba. Ndatshintsha iAttachment yam ndayibeka ecaleni. Ukuba uza kunikela ingcebiso ungacelwanga… sukuyenza. -UAbby, oneminyaka engama-25, eBoston

"Ukuba ndifuna ingcebiso yakhe, ngendibuzile."

Ngesinye isihlandlo kwindawo yokuzivocavoca ndandisenza i-biceps curls ngee-dumbbells ze-15-pound. Lomfana ebemane endijonga lonto ibindenza ndingakhululeki. Ekugqibeleni, weza wazokundichazela indlela "efanelekileyo" yokwenza curls. Ndandicaphuka; ukuba bendifuna ingcebiso yakhe, ngendibuzile. Ndaziva ndithotyiwe ngokuba ngomnye kuphela wabasetyhini abaphakamisa kweli candelo kunye nokuqina kwakhe ukuza "kundinceda".-I-Biz, i-23, kwisiXeko saseNew York

"Uthathe iintambo zokulwa ezandleni zam."

Ndandisejimini kunye nodadewethu kwaye wayesenza uqeqesho lokumelana nokukhanya kwaye bendisenza ezinye izinto ze-HIIT-box-jumps, burpees, heavy rope moves, njalo njalo. Aba bafana babini bebekhona kwaye kwakubonakala ngathi omnye "uqeqesha" omnye kodwa ngokucacileyo engenguye umqeqeshi osuka kwindawo yokuzivocavoca. Babedlala nje, kulungile, kodwa emva koko "umqeqeshi" ujikela kum aze aqalise ukwenza iziqhulo. Khange ndiyihoye ekuqaleni, kodwa emva koko wathi, "Nantsi ke mandikubonise ukuba ungayenza njani loo nto" kwaye uthathe iintambo zokulwa ezandleni zam kwaye andibonise ukutshintsha kweengalo enye (ngendlela eyoyikisayo) kwaye kufana nokucula nokuxelela njani ukugcina isingqi? Emva koko uyazibuyisela kum kwaye alinde ukundibukela ukuze ndiphumeze utshintsho lwakhe. -UDanielle, oneminyaka engama-22, waseLong Island

"Amadoda angayilungisa ifomu yam kodwa angayihoyi indlela embi yabanye abafana."

Xa ndandisesikolweni somthetho, ndandinokuphakamisa. Ndenze iCrossFit okwethutyana kodwa ubukhulu becala ndaya kwigumbi lam elingaphantsi kwesikolo. Ndabona umfazi kwigumbi lobunzima mhlawumbi kanye ngenyanga.

Eyona nto ndandiyithanda kakhulu yayikuku squats. Babephethe i-squat rack yokwenyani (hayi umatshini kaSmith) kwaye bendiza kuhlala yonke imihla kwaye bendiza kuphuma njengenxalenye yeseti yam yokugqibela. Ngamaxesha amaninzi, omnye umntu ongaqhelekanga wayesiza kwaye azame ukuthetha nam malunga nefomu yam, andincede ndibuyisele ibha emva kokuba ndiyigqibile, okanye ndiyihlise.

Enye, ifomu yam ilungile. Njengomdanisi wangaphambili, icheerleader, tumbler, I yazi ifom. Isibini, bekukho ii-squat racks ezimbini kwaye bekuhlala kuhlala kukho aba dudes bahlala ngexesha elinye ababenefom eyoyikekayo! Njengokuthi, ngomqolo ongqukuva okanye kwiinzwane zabo kunye ne-squatting a enkulu inani lamacwecwe. Ke yayiyinto epheleleyo ye-BS nawuphi na umntu oza kuyilungisa ifom yam xa umntu ophakathi kwam sele eza kufumana i-hernia. Okokugqibela, ukuba ndiyichithile loo mali, awucingi ukuba ndingayibuyisela ibar yam ndedwa? Kutheni ucinga ukuba ndifuna uncedo lokuphakamisa iipounds ezingama-45? -UNina, 29, kwisiXeko saseNew York

"Umfana undixelele ukuba ndiphakamise ubunzima obulula."

Ndingowomthambo omnandi kwaye bendikwenye yeeskwati ngenye imini ndinentloko zam.Umfana weza emva kwam wema apho de kwagqitywa iseti yam, emva koko wandicela ukuba ndikhuphe ii-headphone zam kwaye wandixelela ukuba ndibonakala ngathi ndisokola nobungakanani besisindo kwaye kufanele ukuba ndisinciphise. Ndamjonga, ndancuma, ndathi, "Ndiyaphila, enkosi" (ndincumile). Ugqibile wathi, "Nokuba kunjalo, kujongeka ngathi umsebenzi uyahlawula." Ndiye ndawakhupha amehlo ndabuyisela iheadphones zam, wandilandela xa ndiphuma wacela inombolo yam andikhuphe ngelinye ixesha. Ndamhleka ngokoqobo ebusweni ndaphuma apho!-Sage, 23, eChicago

"Wayengazi ukuba yintoni into yokufa yaseRomania."

Ndingumqeqeshi wobuqu kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, kodwa xa ndandikwimpahla yam yomqeqeshi oqeqeshiweyo kwaye ndisenza eyam imithambo, indoda yeza ukundincedisa "ukulungisa" ifomu yam yokuphakamisa ukufa. Wayengazi nto, ndandisenza into ebulalayo eRomania kwaye ndingadingi ncedo lwakhe, "esazi ukugoba kakuhle amadolo ukuya kuma-90 degrees" ngexesha lokufa. Iyahlekisa indlela awayecinga ukuba angandilungisa ngayo, ukanti wayengazange eve ngento efileyo yaseRomania. Owu, kwaye wabuza ukuba akangeva na malunga nokufa kwabantu baseRomania kuba "yeyabafazi." Intle. -UMelissa, 22, Ithaca, NY

"Uxelele umntu okwimo entle, phakathi kweminyaka yama-20 ukuba angabi 'nzima kakhulu."

Ndakhe ndeva ukuba uphume-ngaphandle, ebaleka kancinci-kancinci, umntu ophakathi oneminyaka eyi-smugly uxelele ummo, phakathi kwe-20s umfazi ukuba "angabi nzima kakhulu" njengoko ephakamisa.

Kwandula ke kwakho ixesha lokuba umqhubi wam we-Uber andazise ukuba akufuneki ndizingce nge-biceps ngokugoba iiponti ezingama-30 kwingalo nganye kwaye kufuneka ndenze ubuncinci ama-40. Undixelele ukuba andizami "ngokwaneleyo," kwaye ukuba "ndiphakamisa kabini ngeveki" njengaye, ndiza kuba nakho ukwenza ama-40 njengaye. -UMarissa, oneminyaka engama-29 ubudala, eSan Francisco

"Emva kokuba ebone isethi yam yokuqala yokusebenza yeepounds ze-245, ngokukhawuleza watshintsha intliziyo."

Bendiphakamise ihoodie yam, ndinxibe iblukhwe, inwele ziphakamile, i-headphones, ndizivalele ngaphakathi. Inkangeleko yam ndodwa bekufanele ukuba ikhale, "Nope, not her. Don't even look. Don't even speak." Ndiqale iiseti zam zokuzifudumeza kwindawo yokugcwala kwaye ndeva umntu encwina "Ugh…." Okwangoku, kuya kusiba nzima ukungahoyi ubukho bakhe apho ndathi, "Ndingakunceda?" Mpendulo:"Ushiyeke yimalini?" apho ndithi, "Kulungile, ndiqale malunga neeseti ezi-6, kodwa ungangena." Uyabobotheka kwaye athi, "Ndiza kulinda," ndicinga ukuba iiseti zam ezi-6 azizukukhathazeka kuba isisindo "sentombazana" kuye. (Ngoku, abahlobo bam abandibizi nje ngokuba ngamaQuadzilla ngento engenamsebenzi. "Ndithe xa ndizifudumeza, ndakhulula ukubila kwam kwaye ndatyhila amavili amabi elungele ukufaka umsebenzi. Nje ukuba abone iseti yam yokuqala yokusebenza engama-245 eepawundi, ngequbuliso Utshintshe intliziyo, wahamba wathi, "Oo, ndinesifo esonzakeleyo, kuyakucaphukisa ukutshintsha iintsimbi ukuze ndenze enye into." Ha.UJennifer, 32, kwisiXeko saseNew York

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