Kuthathe ukuba nomntwana wesihlanu ekugqibeleni undifundise ubudlelwane obusempilweni nokuzilolonga

Umxholo

• Ukuzilolonga akuyiyo le bendiyicinga

Ndinabantwana abahlanu andisoloko ndisiva ndicinga, kodwa bekufanele umzamo wokufunda ukumamela umzimba wam.

“Tsala isiseko sakho kunye kunye ne-breaatthheeee… ”Utshilo umhlohli, ebonisa ukuphuma kwakhe ngamandla ngemilebe yakhe.

Emile phezukwam, wema kancinci wabeka isandla esiswini sam esisemanzi. Ebona ukuba ndinomsindo, wancuma wandikhuthaza ngobumnene.

"Uye wafika," utshilo. “Abakho bakho bayahlangana.”

Ndabeka intloko yam emva kwam, ndivumela umoya wam ukuba uhambe kwi-whoosh engenasidima. Ngaba ngokwenene ndandifika apho? Kuba ngokunyaniseka, uninzi lweentsuku, ibingaziva ngathi.

Ukusukela ukuba nosana lwam lwesihlanu phantse kwiinyanga ezi-6 ezidlulileyo, ndikhubekile ndabona ukuba yonke into endicinga ukuba ndiyayazi ngokwenza umthambo ayilunganga kwaphela.

Phambi kokukhulelwa, ndiyavuma ukuba bendi "all-in, ngalo lonke ixesha" uhlobo lokuzilolonga. Engqondweni yam, kunzima ukuzilolonga, kokukhona ndandingcono. Okukhona izihlunu zam zitshisa, kokukhona umthambo usebenza ngokukuko. Ngokuya ndivuka, ndikhathazeke kakhulu ukuba ndingashukuma, ubungqina obuninzi endandinabo bokuba ndisebenza nzima ngokwaneleyo.

Ukukhulelwa umntwana wam wesihlanu ndineminyaka engama-33 (ewe, ndiqale kwangoko, ewe, baninzi abantwana) khange bayeke nokundimisa-kwiinyanga ezisi-7 ndikhulelwe, bendisakwazi ukubamba iiponti ezingama-200 kwaye bendiqhayisa ngokwam kumandla okuqhubeka nokuphakamisa iintsimbi ezinzima yonke indlela ukuya ekuzisweni.

Kodwa emva koko, usana lwam lwazalwa kwaye kanye njengokukwazi ukulala ubusuku bonke, umnqweno wam wokunyathela kulo naluphi na uhlobo lokuzivocavoca wanyamalala ngokupheleleyo. Ngethuba lokuqala ebomini bam, ukusebenza ngaphandle kwakungavakali kude kubhenela kude. Into endandifuna ukuyenza yayikukuhlala ekhaya ndinxibe iimpahla zam ezintle ndize ndimfunqule umntwanam.

Uyazi ntoni? Yiloo nto kanye endiyenzileyo.

Endaweni yokuzinyanzela ukuba "ndibuyele esimeni" okanye "ndibuyele umva," ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndenzele into entle: Ndithathe ixesha lam. Ndithathe izinto kancinci. Andenzanga nto ndingafuni ukuyenza.

Kwaye mhlawumbi okokuqala ebomini bam, ndafunda ukumamela umzimba wam kwaye kwinkqubo, ndaqonda ukuba kuthatha ukuba nomntwana wesihlanu ekugqibeleni, ekugqibeleni ndikhulise ubudlelwane obusempilweni nokuzilolonga.

Kuba nangona inkqubo iyinto ecothayo ecothayo, ukuphinda ufunde indlela yokwenza imithambo ekugqibeleni kuvule amehlo am kwinyaniso enzima: bendinayo yonke into engalunganga kwaphela.

Ukuzilolonga akuyiyo le bendiyicinga

Ngelixa bendihlala ndicinga ngokuzilolonga njengokufezekisa kunye nokubhiyozela ukuba ndinako kangakanani yenza - bungakanani ubunzima endinokubuphakamisa, okanye i-squat, okanye ibhentshi, ekugqibeleni ndiye ndaqonda ukuba endaweni yoko, ukuzilolonga ngakumbi malunga nezifundo ezisifundisa zona malunga nendlela yokuphila ubomi bethu.

"Umdala" usebenzise umthambo njengendlela yokubaleka, okanye indlela yokubonisa ukuba ndiphumeza into ethile, ukuba ndixabisekile kuba ndinokufikelela kwiinjongo zam.

Kodwa ukwenza umthambo akufuneki kube kungokubetha imizimba yethu ukuze ingenise, okanye ukuqhuba nzima nangakumbi kwindawo yokuzivocavoca, okanye nokuphakamisa iintsimbi ezinzima nangaphezulu. Kufanele ukuba kube malunga nokuphilisa.

Kufanele ukuba kube malunga nokwazi ukuba uzithatha nini izinto ngokukhawuleza-kwaye nokuba uzithatha nini kancinci. Kufanele ukuba kube malunga nokwazi ixesha lokutyhala kunye nokuphumla.

Okokuqala, ngokuyintloko, kufuneka, kube malunga nokuhlonipha nokumamela imizimba yethu, singabanyanzeli ukuba benze into esicinga ukuba "mabayenze".

Namhlanje, ndibuthathaka emzimbeni. Andikwazi ukwenza enye i-push-up. Ndawucinezela umqolo wam xa ndizama ukuthoba ubunzima "obuqhelekileyo". Kwaye kwafuneka ndilayishe ibhar yam kunye nobunzima endandineentloni ukujonga kubo. Kodwa uyazi ntoni? Ekugqibeleni ndiseluxolweni nalapho ndikhoyo kuhambo lwam lokuqina.

Kungenxa yokuba nangona ndingakulungelanga njengokuba ndandinjalo ngaphambili, ndinolwalamano olusempilweni kunanini na ngaphambili nokuzilolonga. Ekugqibeleni ndifundile ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuphumla ngokwenyani, ukumamela umzimba wam, kunye nokuwuhlonipha kuwo onke amabakala-nokuba angandenzela ntoni na.

UChaunie Brusie ngumongikazi wezabasebenzi kunye nonikezelo wajika waba ngumbhali kunye nomama omtsha osandula kuvezwa wabantwana abahlanu. Ubhala ngayo yonke into ukusuka kwezemali ukuya kwezempilo ukuba uphile njani ngezo ntsuku zokuqala zobuzali xa konke onokukwenza kukucinga ngako konke ukulala ongakufumaniyo. Mlandele apha.