Iitekisi ezi-5 wena (mhlawumbi) akufuneki uthumele kwiQabane elinokubakho

Umxholo

• 1. "Ndijonge phambili kubusuku obuninzi kunye nawe ngolo hlobo."
• 2. "Ufuna ukudibana nabazali bam kule mpelaveki?"
• 3. "Ubuphi?"
• 4. "Uphezu kwantoni?" (Ithunyelwe nanini na emva ezinzulwini zobusuku)
• 5. "Ndicinga ngawe."
• Uphengululo lwe

Ukuba ukhe wangena kwindawo yokuthandana, mhlawumbi uzibuze lo mbuzo, "ndifanele ndimthumelele umyalezo (okanye yena! Okanye bona!)?" ubuncinci kube kanye. Ubomi buya kuba lula xa ucinga ukuba uza kulinda ixesha elingakanani ukuthumela umyalezo kumfana-okanye nawuphina umdla wothando, ngenxa yalonto-bekungasoloko kungumdlalo wengqondo onjalo.

Ngelixa kungekho ncwadi yaseburhulumenteni, kukho izikhombisi ezimbalwa onokuzijonga kwixesha elizayo xa uzibuza, "ngaba ndimthumela umyalezo?" Ukuba usanda ukuthandana , ungafuna ukugcina imiyalezo ubuncinane, icebisa Jennifer Wexler, ukuthandana kunye nomqeqeshi ubudlelwane kunye nomseki Fumana Uthando lokwenene Emva 40. Ngelo xesha, "imiyalezo kufuneka isetyenziswe kuphela ukuqinisekisa logistics okanye ukuba Ushiywe lixesha, hayi njengeyona ndlela yakho yokunxibelelana, utshilo uWexler. "Nje ukuba ubenemihla eliqela, imiyalezo ebhaliweyo inokuba yinto eyonwabisayo kunye ne-flirty yokwenza umhla wakho wazi ukuba ucinga ngawo."

Nokuba sele ugqibile wena funa ukudubula eli liqabane isicatshulwa isicatshulwa, emva koko unombuzo omkhulu ukuphendula: "Intoni kufanele ukuba ndimthumelele umyalezo? "Xa kufikwa kwimiyalezo ebhaliweyo, kulula ukuba ubanjwe uzibuze ukuba ingaba uthumela umyalezo ongalunganga- ngokoqobo nangokufuziselayo. Xa ujonga ukuba kudala uthumela imiyalezo (#TBT to T-9 word), kusenzima ngokumangalisayo ukugqiba ngethowuni elungileyo kunye namaxesha amaninzi. (Ungalibali ukusetyenziswa okufanelekileyo, ukuba kunjalo, kwe-emojis.

Emva komhla wokuqala, uWexler ucebisa ukuthumela isicatshulwa ukubabulela kunye / okanye ukubonisa uxabiso ngento abayenzileyo. Kwaye ukuba awuziboni izinto ziqhubeka, ucebisa ukuba ubazise ngomyalezo othi into ethile ecaleni kwemigca "Ndonwabile ukuba sinethuba lokudibana kodwa ukuya phambili andiqondi ukuba siyimidlalo elungileyo Ndininqwenelela okuhle kodwa. "

Ukuba sele iintsuku ezimbalwa kwaye uzifumana ujonge kwiscreen sakho esikhanyayo esiluhlaza uzibuza, "Ngaba ndifanele ndimbhalele?" thobela ingcebiso ka-Wexler: qhubeka uthumele imiyalezo (ngokuncinci!) ukwazisa umntu ukuba ucinga ngaye, utshilo. Ziphephe iintetho ezinjengokuthi, 'Heyi, lunjani usuku lwakho?' Endaweni yoko, cacisa, okt 'Hayi, funda nje eli nqaku libalaseleyo malunga neLakers kwaye indenze ndacinga ngawe.' "

Kwaye ngelixa usazi ukuba iincoko ezibalulekileyo - nokuba uzicaphukisile okanye ulungele ukuthetha ngekamva lakho - akumele zenzeke ngokubhaliweyo, ungamangaliswa kukufumanisa ukuba kukho eminye imiyalezo ekungafanelanga ukuba uyithumele. ubudlelwane obutsha ngokunjalo.

1. "Ndijonge phambili kubusuku obuninzi kunye nawe ngolo hlobo."

Ngokubhekisele kwikamva ekwabelwana ngalo-nangona ingxelo yakho inokuba mbi - inokothusa ekuqaleni kobudlelwane obutsha, utshilo uLaurie Davis, umbhali Uthando ekuqaleni Cofa. Abasetyhini bayakhawuleza ukwakha iingcamango ezicacileyo ezibandakanya ikamva kunamadoda, utsho. Yaye nawaphi na amacebiso okuzibophelela ngokunzulu anokuboyikisa. Kukwanjalo ke nakuwe-emva kwayo yonke loo nto, awungekhe uthandabuze ukuba umntu othile ukuthumelele lo mbhalo emva komhla wokuqala?

Thumela oku endaweni yoko: "Phezolo bekumnandi. Kwixesha elizayo, indawo yam?" Gxininisa kuphela kumhla ozayo, kwaye kungabi ngaphezu kwawo, ucebisa uDavis. Kwaye kuthintele ukubalula kakhulu-njengokucebisa imihla okanye amaxesha-anokwenza umntu azive ebotshiwe.

2. "Ufuna ukudibana nabazali bam kule mpelaveki?"

Ukudibana nomama kunye notata womntu kugcwele zonke iintlobo zamathuba angathandekiyo, ngakumbi kumanqanaba okuqala obudlelwane bakho, uchaza uGuy Blews, umbhali we Ulwalamano Olusengqiqweni. Ayithumeli kuphela lo mbhalo, "Ndizimisele ngawe!" kodwa akukho ndlela kwaphela yokuba bathi hayi ngaphandle kokuqala umlo, wongeza uBlews.

Thumela oku endaweni yoko: "Abazali bam bahlala edolophini ngoMgqibelo, ngoko ke andinakukwazi ukuxhoma." Ukuba ubonakalisa nawuphi na umdla kutyelelo lwabo, ungakhankanya ukuba bamkelekile ukuba bazibandakanye nobathathu kwisidlo sangokuhlwa, kodwa yiyeke ngoko, ucebisa iiBlews. "Ukuba bakuxabisile, baya kuba nomdla wokufaka igama elihle kubazali bakho, kwaye yiyo umntu ofuna badibane naye."

3. "Ubuphi?"

"Amagama amabini," utsho uBlews. "Ityala. Uhambo." Ukuthumela isicatshulwa esinjengale - okanye ukubabeka ityala kuyo nantoni na - kunokuba (kwaye mhlawumbi kuya) ukubuyisela umva ngenxa yokuba kunokuvela njengokunqwenela, uyachaza. (Ugh. Ngokukhawuleza ephendula umbuzo othi, "ndimthumelele umyalezo?" Kubonakala ngathi kukuhamba epakini.)

Thumela oku endaweni yoko: "Hey unjani?" Ukuba bayakuthanda, loo nto yanele ukubenza ukuba baphinde babuye, uyachaza uBlews. Ukuba abaphenduli, ungathumela lo mbhalo ngokuchanekileyo kwiintsuku ezimbalwa kamva- kodwa kube kanye kuphela, utshilo. Ukuba awukamva kubo, hamba uye phambili. (Eyeleleneyo: Ungahamba njani kunye nenye yakho ebalulekileyo ngaphandle kokwahlukana ekupheleni kohambo)

4. "Uphezu kwantoni?" (Ithunyelwe nanini na emva ezinzulwini zobusuku)

Ukuba ujonge ubusuku obunye okanye imeko ye-FWB, ilungile le nto. Kodwa ukuba unomdla kubudlelwane, akufuneki udubule lo mbhalo ngokungathandabuzekiyo kuba unokuthumela yonke imiqondiso engalunganga. Usenokubhala nje, "Ufuna ukulala ngesondo?" kuba ingumyalezo ofanayo, utsho iiBlows. '

Thumela oku endaweni yoko: "Ndinxibe into endicinga ukuba uza kuyonwabela." Dubula le nkwenkwe imbikakuhle ngaphambi kwe-12, kwaye uya kubashiya bafuna ngaphezulu, uyacacisa uBlews.

5. "Ndicinga ngawe."

Oku kunokusebenza neqabane lakho leminyaka emininzi, kodwa ngaba kufuneka umthumelele umyalezo ngoko nangoko? Ke uhambisa ngokusisiseko ibhilibhodi yedijithali ethi uyinyani,ngokwenene kuzo, ezinokuboyikisa, ulumkisa uDavis. Ukubeka ngokulula: Oku kunokuba kakhulu, kungekudala.

Thumela oku endaweni yoko: "Ndibe nexesha elimnandi nawe. Masiphinde kwakhona kungekudala." Ngaphambi kokuba ube serious nomntu, ukuthandana kufanele kube mnandi. Bonisa ukuba unomdla - kwaye wayethanda umhla - ngaphandle kokunika ingcamango yokuba sele uqalile ukucwangcisa umtshato wakho, uthi uDavis. Nokuba sele ukhangela iilokhwe zomolokazana.

Uphengululo lwe