Iimpawu ezi-7 zokuNyanga kwi-Intanethi kunokuba zilungele wena

Umxholo

• 1. Unakho ukuhlawula ukuphuma epokothweni
• Kodwa ndifuna ukwazisa kwangaphambili ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu onokukufumana oku
• 2. Uzibona unqwenela ukuba ungaqhubekeka ngalo mzuzu
• Ndiqaphele umahluko, nawo
• 3. Ukrokrela ukuba ukubhala yeyona ndawo intle kuwe
• 4. Ukufumanisa kulula ukuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo kwiindawo zedijithali
• 5. Uziva ngathi ubhalela abahlobo bakho imiyalezo rhoqo
• 6. Unabanye oogqirha kwiqela lakho abanokukunceda ngexesha lentlekele
• Nangona kunjalo, mna sukuyenza Sebenzisa unyango kwi-Intanethi ngokukodwa
• 7. Uneemfuno ezithile zonyango onengxaki ekudibaneni nazo
• Ndicinga ukuba esinye sezibonelelo zonyango lwe-Intanethi kukuba unokukhetha okuninzi
• Ngokuqinisekileyo kukho ukugxekwa okuqinisekileyo ukuba kugcinwe engqondweni, nangona kunjalo
• Kulungile, ngoko yintoni endifanele ndiyazi ngaphambi kokuba ndiqalise?
• Yiba ngokungqalileyo kangangoko xa ujonga ugqirha
• Xela, xela, xela
• Thetha ngonyango
• Yenza ngokwezifiso
• Beka iinjongo
• Khuseleka
• Lindela ixesha lohlengahlengiso
• Ngaba unyango lwe-Intanethi lulungile kuwe?

Isikhokelo sobutyebi obungenangqondo

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Kwakungekho nto iphosakeleyo, ngokwenene, kunye nomgqirha wam wokugqibela. Wayekrelekrele njengesabhokhwe, enenkathalo kwaye ecinga. Kodwa emva konyaka ngaphezulu kokusebenza kunye, bendinoluvo olukhathazayo lokuba andizukuphuma kulento bendifuna ukuba yiyo.

Into ibingacimi.

Njengomntu one-agoraphobia, kwakusele kulucelomngeni ukuya kwesinye isixeko kunyango kuphela.Ifuthe lezemali le-copay, ukuthuthwa apho kunye nokubuya, kunye nexesha elithathiweyo emsebenzini sele lidityanisiwe.

Ukuba besele ndiyichitha loo mali, kutheni ndingenakubhalisela nje unyango lwe-Intanethi, kwaye ndifumane ukhathalelo endilifunayo ngaphandle kokushiya indlu yam?

Ke ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndizame iTalkspace.

Ndikhethe i-Talkspace ngakumbi kuba bendisazi ngokuthetha nabanye abantu ukuba babakhathalele ngokukodwa abathengi babo kunye nabaxhasi be-transgender (endingabo bobabini).

Abazange bandibuze ukuba ndiphonononge iinkonzo zabo, okanye bandinike naluphi na uhlobo lokukhuthaza ukuthetha ngabo. Esi ayisosibhengezo esihlawulelwayo, zihlobo, ke unokuthembela ukuba yonke into elapha luluvo lwam olunyanisekileyo!

Ukuba unomdla kunyango lwe-Intanethi kodwa ungaqinisekanga ukuba lolwakho na, bendifuna ukwenza obu bungenangqondo bokukunceda uthathe isigqibo.

Ngelixa iTalkspace liqonga endilisebenzisayo, eli licebo endikrokrela ukuba liya kusebenza nakwamanye amaqonga.

Njengalo naluphi na unyango, uya kuthi ekugqibeleni uphume kuloo nto uyibekayo. Oko kuthethiweyo, ngokuqinisekileyo kukho imiqondiso ekufuneka uyijongile xa usenza isigqibo sokuba unyango lwe-Intanethi lunokusebenzela wena:

1. Unakho ukuhlawula ukuphuma epokothweni

Phakathi kwam $ 15 copay kunye nohambo lweLyft ukuya nokubuya eofisini, ukuhlawulela unyango kwi-Intanethi kwakungekho ngokwenene ebiza kakhulu kum.

Iidola ezingama- $ 39 ngeveki, ndingathumela imiyalezo engenamda kugqirha wam (isicatshulwa, iaudiyo, okanye ividiyo, inde njengoko ndifuna) kwaye ufumane iimpendulo ezimbini ezicatshangelwayo ngosuku.

Ukuba ndifuna umnxeba wevidiyo ngamava obuso, ndinokuhlawula ngaphezulu, nokuba yinxalenye yesicwangciso sam okanye kwisiseko esifunekayo.

Kodwa ndifuna ukwazisa kwangaphambili ukuba ayinguye wonke umntu onokukufumana oku

Ukuba unayo i-inshurensi kwaye unyango lwakho sele lugutyungelwe ngokwaneleyo, unyango kwi-Intanethi aluyi kubiza kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba uneendleko zokuhamba kunye neekopayments (njengam), okanye sele uhlawula epokothweni, unyango lwe-Intanethi lunokungabizi kakhulu okanye ubuncinci ngokufanelekileyo.

Ndisacinga ukuba le yeyona $ 39 ibalaseleyo ndiyichitha veki nganye. Kodwa kubantu abanomvuzo ophantsi, oku akufuneki ukuba kufikeleleke.

2. Uzibona unqwenela ukuba ungaqhubekeka ngalo mzuzu

Omnye wemicimbi yam emikhulu ngonyango lobuso ngobuso kukuba, ngexesha lokuqeshwa kwam lijikeleza, uninzi lweemeko ezinzima okanye iimvakalelo sele zidlulile, okanye andibakhumbuli kwakulixesha lokuthetha yiyo.

Ndandihlala ndimka kwiseshoni yam ndicinga, "Jeez, ndinqwenela ukuthetha nje nonyango lwam xa izinto zivelile, endaweni yokulinda de siphinde sibonane."

Ndivakalelwa ngathi ndimosha ixesha, ngokungathi ukutyunjwa kwethu bendizama ukukhumbula into endikhathazayo okanye ukugcwalisa nje ixesha lethu.

Ukuba oku kuvakala kuyinto eqhelekileyo, unyango olukwi-Intanethi kunokuba yinto entle kuwe. Nge-Talkspace, ndiyakwazi ukubhalela i-Therapist yam nangawuphi na umzuzu, ke xa iimeko okanye iimvakalelo zivela kum, ndingazichaza ezo zinto kunyangi wam ngexesha lokwenyani.

Ndiqaphele umahluko, nawo

Ngokwenyani sithetha ngemicimbi ebaluleke kakhulu kwaye ibalulekile kum, endaweni yento endiye ndayikhumbula ngexesha elimiselweyo.

Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele: Ukuba uluhlobo lomntu oludinga impendulo ekhawulezileyo, unyango olukwi-Intanethi alunakuziva lwanelisa ekuqaleni. Kuthathe ixesha lohlengahlengiso ukuze ndikhululeke ngokuchitha amathumbu am, ndisazi ukuba kuya kufuneka ndilinde ukuva ingxelo evela kunyango lwam.

Kodwa ndiye ndayiqhela! Kwaye yifomathi esebenza ngcono kum.

3. Ukrokrela ukuba ukubhala yeyona ndawo intle kuwe

Umsebenzi wam weemvakalelo omninzi wenzeka ngokubhala (oku kungenzeka kungothusi, ukubona ukuba ndiyibhlogger).

Unyango olukwi-Intanethi luye lwafana nedayari ethetha umva, ngemfesane nangokundikhokela kwinkqubo yam.

Ukuba uyazi ukuba uluhlobo lomntu ofumanisa ukuba yicathartic ukubhala yonke into ngaphandle, unyango kwi-Intanethi lunokuba liqonga elihle kuwe. Akukho zithintelo zexesha okanye umda kubalinganiswa, ke unikwe imvume yokuthatha nasiphi na isithuba kunye nexesha olifunayo.

Ukuba ukubhala akuyiyo into yakho, unokuhlala u-monologue ngokurekhodwa okanye ukurekhodwa kwevidiyo. Ngamanye amaxesha ufuna nje imizuzu emi-5 ukungcangcazela ungaphazanyiswa, kwaye unyango olukwi-Intanethi lulungele oko, nalo.

4. Ukufumanisa kulula ukuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo kwiindawo zedijithali

Ndikhule ngexesha le-AOL Imiyalezo ekhawulezileyo. Olunye lonxibelelwano lwam olunzulu nolona lusemngciphekweni lwenzekile ngokwamanani.

Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu- mhlawumbi luxinzelelo lwasentlalweni, andiqinisekanga- ndikufumanisa kulula kakhulu ukuba sesichengeni kwi-intanethi.

Ndicinga ukuba unyango lwe-Intanethi lelona qonga libalaseleyo labantu abanjengam, abathi bakufumanise kulula ukunyaniseka xa kukho ukhuseleko lwekhompyuter okanye isikrini sefowuni phakathi kwethu nabanyangi bethu.

Kwiiveki nje ezimbalwa, ndiveze okungakumbi kwingcali yam yeTalkspace kunokuba bendinayo kunyango lwam lwangaphambili endandikhe ndasebenza nalo ngaphezulu konyaka. Ukuba kwi-Intanethi kwandinceda ndakwazi ukufikelela kwiimvakalelo endikufumanise kunzima ukuzisebenzisa xa ndityunjwe ubuso ngobuso.

(Ndicinga ukuba iyanceda, nayo, ukuba olu lonyango lunokwenzeka kukhuseleko lwendlu yam, nanini na xa ndikulungele, ngelixa ndixhonyiwe kwiipijama zam kwaye ndiwola ikati yam ndisitya nono ...)

5. Uziva ngathi ubhalela abahlobo bakho imiyalezo rhoqo

Ndiloluhlobo lomntu othi, xa ndonganyelwa bubomi bam, ndizibone sendithumela imiyalezo okanye ndithumela imiyalezo kubahlobo bam, ngamanye amaxesha ngesiqhelo esenza ukuba ndizive ndikruqukile.

Kwaye ukuba icace: Kulungile ngokupheleleyo ukufikelela emntwini xa usokola, okoko nje loo mida kuyaxoxiswana ngayo phakathi kwakho!

Kodwa yintoni elungileyo ngonyango lwe-Intanethi kukuba ngoku ndinendawo ekhuselekileyo yokuziveza nangawuphi na umzuzu, ngaphandle koloyiko lokuba "uninzi kakhulu" kuloo mntu.

Ukuba "ungumqhubekekisi wangaphandle" njengam, apho kungekho nto iziva isonjululwe de ube uyifumene esifubeni sakho, unyango lwe-Intanethi luyamangalisa.

Ndivakalelwa kukuba kukho ulungelelwano ngakumbi kubudlelwane bam ebhodini, kuba yonke imihla, ndinendawo endicinga ngayo okanye endiziva ngayo ngokukodwa kubahlobo bam kunye namaqabane.

Oko kuthetha ukuba ndinokucinga ngakumbi kwaye ndizimisele malunga nokuba ngubani endiza kuye kwaye ngoba kutheni.

6. Unabanye oogqirha kwiqela lakho abanokukunceda ngexesha lentlekele

Uphengululo oluninzi endilufundileyo oluthetha ngendlela unyango lwe-Intanethi olungeyilelwanga abantu abagula ngengqondo. Kodwa andivumelani ncam naloo nto - ndicinga nje ukuba abantu abafana nathi kufuneka bazi ukuba zeziphi iinkqubo zenkxaso esizibekayo, kwaye xa sizisebenzisa.

Wonke umntu onesifo sengqondo esixhalabisayo kufuneka abe nesicwangciso seengxaki.

Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kuthi bethu abasebenzisa unyango kwi-Intanethi, oko kuthetha ukuba asizukuhlala sifumana impendulo kwangoko xa sisengxakini.

Ndisebenzisa unyango kwi-Intanethi ukuphonononga imbali yam yomothuko, ukulawula i-OCD yam kunye neempawu zokudakumba, kunye nokuhambahamba kwimihla ngemihla kunye noxinzelelo ebomini bam.

Nangona kunjalo, mna sukuyenza Sebenzisa unyango kwi-Intanethi ngokukodwa

Ndinaso nesifo sengqondo endisibona qho, amaqela enkxaso endiya kuwo ngendlela efunekayo, kwaye ndinokunxibelelana nonyango lwam lwangaphambili ukuba ndiyazibulala kwaye kufuneka ndithunyelwe kwizibonelelo zoncedo lwasekhaya (njengeenkonzo zonyango okanye ukulaliswa esibhedlele ).

Ingcali yam yeTalkspace iyazi ukuba ndinembali yokuzibulala nokuzenzakalisa, kwaye sithethile ngamanyathelo esinokuthi siwathathe xa ndinengxaki kwakhona.

Ndicinga ukuba unyango kwi-Intanethi lunokuba lukhetho olukhulu kubantu abagula kakhulu ngengqondo. (Ngokwam, ndiziva ndixhaswa ngakumbi kukungena kunye nonyango lwam amaxesha ama-10 ngeveki kwi-intanethi, ngokuchasene nokubabona kanye ngeveki, ukuba kunjalo.)

Isitshixo kukuba unyango olukwi-Intanethi akufuneki lube yiyo kuphela ukhetho, kwaye wena kunye nonyango lwakho kufuneka nenze isicwangciso seengxaki ngaphambili.

7. Uneemfuno ezithile zonyango onengxaki ekudibaneni nazo

Iimfuno zam zonyango bezinzima… zinzima.

Ndingumntu o-queer kunye no-transgender onembali yoxinzelelo olunzima, osokolayo noxinzelelo, i-OCD, kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemida. Ndidinga i-Therapist ekwaziyo ukusingatha konke oku kungasentla, kodwa ukuzama ukufumana umntu obekuloo msebenzi kwakunzima, ukutsho nje okuncinci.

Xa ndandisayinela iTalkspace, ndaqala ndathetha nengcali yokubonisana (enje ngomlingisi wezonyango) onokuthi andincede ndifumane ugqirha wam. Ngaphambili, ndibanike ulwazi oluninzi kangangoko ndinako, kwaye bandinika iitheraphisti ezintathu ukuba ndikhethe kuzo.

Omnye wabo wayengumgqirha onolwazi ngengozi owayenguye kanjalo U-queer kunye no-transgender, owayesazi kakuhle iingxaki endandinazo. Sikwaphuma kumbono ofanayo, ukuxabisa indlela ejolise kwezobulungisa kwezentlalo kunye nendlela yokuziphatha ngokwesondo.

Thetha ngomdlalo ogqibeleleyo!

Ndicinga ukuba esinye sezibonelelo zonyango lwe-Intanethi kukuba unokukhetha okuninzi

Endaweni yokukhangela umntu okumgama ofanelekileyo, ungaqhagamshelana nayo nayiphi na ingcali enelayisensi kwilizwe lakho. Oku kwandisa iphuli yeeklinikhi ezikhoyo, kwaye ngokufanelekileyo kukudibanisa nonyango oluhlangabezana neemfuno zakho.

(Eyona nto intle kakhulu, kukuba ukutshintshela kubaphilisi kwiiapps ezinje ngeTalkspace kulula kakhulu - kwaye abo baphilisi bazokwazi ukufikelela kwiingodo zakho zangaphambili zencoko, ngenxa yoko awuzukuziva ngathi uqala kwakhona.)

Ukuba ungumntu obekelwe bucala ofuna i-Therapist kwindawo ohlala kuyo, amathuba akho okufumana ugqirha ofanelekileyo aphakame kakhulu kunyango lwe-Intanethi. Kum, eli lelona candelo lilungileyo lenkqubo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo kukho ukugxekwa okuqinisekileyo ukuba kugcinwe engqondweni, nangona kunjalo

Ndiye ndawathanda amava am onyango akwi-Intanethi, kodwa bendiya kuba remiss ukuba khange ndiwathethe la.

Eminye yemicimbi eqhelekileyo abantu abahlangana nayo nonyango lwe-Intanethi, eshwankathelwe ngokufunda ngokukhawuleza:

• Kufuneka ube ne-18 okanye ngaphezulu: Ngokwazi kwam, ngenxa yezizathu zomthetho, ayifumaneki kubantu abangaphantsi kweminyaka eyi-18. Qiniseka ukuba ukuphanda oku ngaphambi kokuba ubhalise ukuba oku kuyasebenza kuwe.
• Isantya esahlukileyo: Iimpendulo "asynchronous," Oko kuthetha ukuba ugqirha wakho uphendula xa bekwazi- yinto encinci njenge-imeyile kunokuba uthumele umyalezo wangoko nangoko. Kubantu abathanda ukwaneliseka kwangoko, oku kuya kuthatha ukuba bakuqhele. Ukuba usengxakini enkulu, oku akufuneki ukuba ibe yinkxaso yakho ephambili.
• Akukho lwimi lomzimba: Ukuba ungumntu othintela ngakumbi, kwaye ke ngoko ufuna i-Therapist ukuze ikwazi "ukukufunda", oku kunokuba ngumqobo. Ukuba ungumntu onobunzima ekutolikeni iimvakalelo kunye neethoni ngesicatshulwa, oku kunokwenza izinto zikhohlise. (Iifowuni zeVidiyo kunye nokurekhodwa kweaudiyo zisenokukhetha, nangona kunjalo, ungathandabuzi ukutshintsha izinto xa ufumanisa ukuba ifomathi yokubhaliweyo kuphela iyakhohlisa!)
• Kuya kufuneka upele izinto (ngokoqobo): Umgqirha wakho ngekhe azi ukuba kukho into engasebenziyo ukuba awubaxeleli ngqo (abanakubona ukuba awonwabanga, okanye uyadika, okanye uyacaphuka, umzekelo), ke lungela ukuzimela ukuba awuyifumani into oyifunayo.

Kulungile, ngoko yintoni endifanele ndiyazi ngaphambi kokuba ndiqalise?

Unyango olukwi-Intanethi lufana naluphina unyango, kuba lusebenza kuphela xa ubonakalisa.

Nazi ezinye iingcebiso ezikhawulezayo zezona ndlela zonyango zibalaseleyo kwi-Intanethi:

Yiba ngokungqalileyo kangangoko xa ujonga ugqirha

Kungcono uxelele "umlingisi wakho" kakhulu ngawe kwaye umncinci. Okukhona uzithethela, kokukhona imidlalo yakho iya kuba ngcono.

Xela, xela, xela

Yiba vulekile, ubuthathaka, utyalomali, kwaye uthembeke ngangokunokwenzeka. Uya kuphuma kuphela kumava wento oyityale kuyo.

Thetha ngonyango

Thetha nonyango lwakho malunga nento esebenzayo nengasebenziyo. Ukuba kukho into eluncedo, baxelele. Ukuba kukho into engekhoyo, qiniseka ukuba utsho njalo.

Ukuba kukho into efuna ukutshintsha, kubalulekile ukuba unxibelelane ukuze ufumane elona thuba lihle!

Yenza ngokwezifiso

Unyango olukwi-Intanethi lunesakhiwo esincinci, ke qiniseka ukuba uthethe nonyango lwakho ngendlela onokuthi wenze ngayo uxanduva kunye nefomathi ekusebenzela.

Nokuba ngumsebenzi wesikolo owenzelwa ekhaya, ufundo olunikiweyo (ndiyathanda ukwaba amanqaku kunye nonyango lwam ngamanye amaxesha), ukungena okucwangcisiweyo, okanye ukuzama iifomathi (isicatshulwa, iaudiyo, ividiyo, njlnjl.), Kukho iitoni zeendlela ezahlukeneyo zokwenza unyango kwi-Intanethi!

Beka iinjongo

Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ntoni kumava, thatha ixesha lokucinga ngako. Ukudala izithuba zeenjongo kunokuba luncedo ekukhokeleni inkqubo, kokubini kuwe nakunyangi wakho.

Khuseleka

Ukuba unembali yokuzibulala, ukusebenzisa iziyobisi, okanye ukuzenzakalisa- okanye naluphi na uhlobo lokuziphatha okungalunganga olunokubangela ukuba uzenzakalise wena okanye omnye umntu- qiniseka ukuba ugqirha wakho uyayazi le nto, ukuze wenze isicwangciso seengxaki kunye.

Lindela ixesha lohlengahlengiso

Ndaziva ndothusile malunga nonyango lwe-Intanethi ekuqaleni. Iziva yahluke ngokwahlukileyo, ngakumbi xa kungabikho ulwimi lomzimba kunye neempendulo ezilibazisekileyo. Zinike ixesha lokuzihlengahlengisa, kwaye ukuba izinto ziziva ngathi zikhutshiwe, qiniseka ukuba ugqirha wakho uyazi.

Ngaba unyango lwe-Intanethi lulungile kuwe?

Ngokucacileyo, kukungazi ngokobuqu, Andinakuthetha ngokuqinisekileyo! Kodwa ndingatsho ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kukho abantu phaya ngaphandle abaxhamle kuyo, nam ndingomnye wabo.

Ngelixa ndandikrokra ekuqaleni, kwavela isigqibo esikhulu kwimpilo yam yengqondo, nangona ndiyakuqonda ukusikelwa umda.

Njengalo naluphi na uhlobo lonyango, ubukhulu becala luxhomekeke ekufumaneni umdlalo olungileyo, ukuveza konke okusemandleni akho, kunye nokuzixhasa ngokwakho kulo lonke.

Ndiyathemba ukuba esi sikhokelo sikunika lonke ulwazi oluchanekileyo lokwenza isigqibo esikulungele. Ndingakukhuthaza ukuba uphande ngakumbi ngokwakho (andililo igunya lokunyanga!). Njengoko isitsho le nto, ulwazi ngamandla!

Hee, yinyani eyonwabisayo: Ukuba ubhalisa ngeTalkspace usebenzisa le khonkco, sobabini sifumana iidola ezingama-50. Ukuba ucingile, yinike isiza!

Ukuba usifumene esi sikhokelo siluncedo, nceda ungene kwiPatreon yam kwaye ujonge ukuba ngumxhasi! Ngeminikelo, ndiyakwazi ukwenza izibonelelo zasimahla nezicokisekileyo ezifana nezi ngokusekwe kwiingcebiso zakho.

Eli nqaku livele kwasekuqaleni Apha.

USam Dylan Finch ungummeli okhokelayo kwi-LGBTQ + yezempilo yengqondo, efumene ukwamkelwa kwilizwe lakhe kwibhlog yakhe,Masenze izinto zeQueer!, Eyokuqala yangena kwintsholongwane ngo-2014. Njengentatheli kunye necebo losasazo, uSam upapashe ngokubanzi kwizihloko ezinje ngempilo yengqondo, isazisi se-transgender, ukukhubazeka, ezopolitiko kunye nomthetho, nokunye okuninzi. Ukuzisa ubuchule bakhe obudibeneyo kwimpilo yoluntu nakwimidiya yedijithali, uSam ngoku usebenza njengomhleli wentlalontle eUnyango lwezempilo.