8 Relations Checks Zonke izibini kufuneka babe for a Healthy Love Life

Umxholo

• Thatha ubushushu bakho ngokweemvakalelo
• Cela into oyifunayo
• Yonwaba Kunye
• Qhagamshela ngokwasemzimbeni
• Chitha Ixesha Kunye
• Chitha ixesha ngaphandle
• Zama Into Entsha
• Bulelanani
• Uphengululo lwe

Ngaba ukhe wathetha nomfana wakho, okanye wema wema phambi kwakhe, kwaye wanoluvo oluphazamisayo lokuba kukho into encinci icimile? Yibize imvakalelo yesithandathu okanye i-undercurrent engathethwayo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha uyazi nje xa uloliwe eqala ukubaleka esiporweni. "Akukho zikhanyiso ezibomvu ezidanyazayo zokusixelela xa kukho into efuna ukuhoywa," utshilo u-Ellen Bradley-Windell wezibini ezitshatileyo. "[Kufuneka] samkele umbono wokudala isicwangciso esisebenzayo sokugcina ubudlelwane."

Kuxhomekeke kuwe ukulinganisa impilo yobudlelwane bakho ngamaxesha athile. Unaloo nto engqondweni, nalu uhlolo ekufuneka ulwenzile ngalo lonke ixesha imvakalelo yesithandathu ibetha.

Thatha ubushushu bakho ngokweemvakalelo

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UWindell uthi owona mbuzo ubalulekileyo kubudlelwane uhlala ungowona ulula: Siqhuba njani? Rhoqo, thatha 'ubushushu beemvakalelo' kubudlelwane bakho. Buzana, 'Ngaba uziva ngathi siphathana njengabahlobo abasenyongweni?' 'Ngaba siphathana ngentlonipho?' Ngaba siyakwazi ukunxibelelana ngokuphandle"Ukuba usebenzisa esi silinganisi sobushushu kulwalamano lwakho, umvuzo kukuba unokufumana ukuqala kwengxaki kwangoko, kwaye uyisombulule ngaphambi kokuba ingene kumcimbi omkhulu." (Ukuzisa ezona zinkulu izihloko zencoko ziyanceda kwigumbi lokulala, kwakhona. Yiba ne-Orgasm emangalisayo: Thetha ngayo.)

Cela into oyifunayo

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Ugqirha womtshato kunye nobudlelwane uCarin Goldstein uthi izibini ezininzi zizisa izikhalazo etafileni endaweni yemiyalelo. "Kaninzi, rhoqo, ndiya kuba nabasetyhini bathi, 'Awundihoyi ngokwaneleyo!' Amadoda acacile kwaye abambekile, kungoko ndihlala ndibaxelela: 'Kufuneka umxelele ukuba injani.' "Ngaba kufuneka abambe isandla sakho esidlangalaleni? Buza eminye imibuzo malunga nosuku lwakho? Amadoda ajolise ukukholisa, kwaye ayathanda xa ubanika imephu yendlela eya empumelelweni.

Yonwaba Kunye

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Ngelixa isenokungangqinelani neentsuku zokuqala zokuthandana ngokuthe ngqo, i-coupledom ezinikeleyo ayithethi isigwebo sobomi bonke sokukruquka kunye nezibophelelo. "Izinto zingalunga namhlanje, kodwa imeko yobudlelwane bakho ingafuna ukuvuselelwa," utshilo uWindell. “Zipheni ixesha lokukhumbuzana ngeenkumbulo ezimnandi enabelana ngazo kunye. Buzani omnye komnye, ‘Ngaba ngeempela-veki sikunye ukuze sinyamekele ishishini, okanye sibekela bucala ixesha lokonwaba nokuhleka nokuba sisidenge?’” Qhubeka ukuxelela ezo ziqhulo zangaphakathi ezingenangqondo ukuba kuphela ngumfo wakho oza kufumana, kwaye wenze ixesha elisemgangathweni. UWindell uthi: “Qinisekani ukuba niyalugcina uvuyo nokuhleka kulwalamano lwenu, njengoko oko kuya komeleza iqhina enilifaneleyo nobabini.

Qhagamshela ngokwasemzimbeni

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UGoldstein uthi enye yezona ndawo zixhaphakileyo kubudlelwane kukulibala ukukhathalela unxibelelwano lomzimba. Masijongane nayo: Yenye yezinto zokuqala ukuya xa uxakeke ngokwenene. "Anditsho," Kufuneka unakekele indoda yakho, "okanye nayiphi na into enjalo," uyachaza. "Kodwa yinto ekufuneka uyiqaphele ngaphandle kokunxibelelana nomzimba, unokukhathazeka. Amadoda adibanisa ngcono ngokwasemphefumlweni xa enxibelelene nokunye okubalulekileyo emzimbeni." UGoldstein uthi ukuba sele iiveki ezimbini kwaye uziva ukuba umntu wakho une-glum encinci, ungahlala ubeka ezimbini-ezimbini kunye-kwaye yinto elula yokulungisa. (Uziva ungaphefumlelwanga kwigumbi lokulala? Zama enye yeendlela ezili-9 zokuSebenzisana noBudlelwane bakho.)

Chitha Ixesha Kunye

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Ngokukodwa xa izibini zikwinqanaba lotshintsho, okanye enye ihamba kakhulu, uGoldstein uthi kubalulekile ukuba kuhlolwe "ukubila ngokulingana". "Ukuba umntu omnye uthwele umthwalo omninzi ekhaya, unokuba yinto eguqukayo phakathi kwesibini," utshilo, esithi oomama ikakhulu banokuba nengqumbo. Amaxesha amaninzi, ukulungiswa kukufumana nje iqabane lakho ukuba liqonde ubomi ukusuka eyakho izihlangu. "Sonke sifuna nje ukubonwa nokuva," utsho uGoldstein. Kwakhona, uthi oku kuhla ekubeni ingqale. Mxelele ukungabikho kwakhe ukuba uziva unqanyuliwe, kwaye ufuna iifowuni rhoqo okanye ubusuku bobusuku-kwaye uya kuba ngefowuni ebuza malunga nosuku lwakho eofisini, okanye uye emsebenzini ucwangcisa ubusuku bakho bangoLwesihlanu olandelayo.

Chitha ixesha ngaphandle

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Ngamanye amaxesha, izibini zinokufumana naye kufutshane, kubangela elinye okanye omabini amaqela ukuba azive ehluthwe kwaye ekhethe i-nit. Indawo ibaluleke kakhulu kumadoda, aneentambo zokuxhuma-kwaye ke aphume okomzuzwana ukuze abuyisele ukuzimela kwawo. "Yindlela amadoda ahlaziya ngayo," utshilo uGoldstein. "Kufuneka bangene kumqolomba omnyama, babuye-kodwa abafazi bahlala becinga ukuba, 'Hayi, akandithandi.' ” Akunjalo. Ukuba niziva nifumana i-antsy encinci kwaye niyacaphuka omnye nomnye, lixesha leshedyuli esempilweni, amantombazana afanelekileyo kunye nobusuku babafana. "Ekuphela kwexesha eliyingxaki kuxa iba yinto eqhelekileyo," utshilo uGoldstein. "Xa iba 'sisisombululo' kuyo yonke ingxaki, endaweni yexesha lokuphinda ungene kubudlelwane ukusuka kwindawo engcono." Ukuba yindlela ethe rhoqo yokuzigcina upholile? Zonke zilungile!

Zama Into Entsha

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Ruts. Kubudlelwane obusekiwe, kulula ukuba nesiqhelo; awukhumbuli iholide yakho yokugqibela, rhoqo ngolweSihlanu ebusuku kukuthatha/imovie/ukulala, kwaye ukhula uqhelene kakhulu nemikhwa ye-SO yakho. "Beka iinzame ekuzameni into entsha kunye," utshilo uWindell. "Joyina indawo yokuzivocavoca kunye nokuzilolonga kunye, funda umdlalo omtsha kunye, zama indawo yokutyela entsha kanye ngenyanga, batshintshane ngokucwangcisa 'usuku oluyimfihlakalo' ukusuka ekuqaleni ukuya esiphelweni-ufumana umbono." Imikhwa emidala, iindawo, kunye neendlela ezazikade zimnandi kwaye zinomdla zinokuthatha ukujika zibe yinto ekruqulayo, ebangela ukuba ulwalamano lwakho luzive lumile. Soloko usebenza ukudibanisa, utshilo uWindell. (Kwaye, wow umntu wakho ngobusuku bomhla nge-7 yeeTweaks zoBuhle boThando.)

Bulelanani

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Ukugcina uthando lwakho emgceni yinto efuna ukwenzeka mihla le, ke akukho mfuneko yokuba uphinde ushiye lonke ixesha lolwalamano ungoneliseki. Njani, kanye? Yiza unesimo sengqondo sokubulela kunye nokupha-zombini ngomlomo nangaphandle kokuthetha. "Izibini ezithandanayo ziyaphumelela xa ubudlelwane busekwe ekubuyeleni kwakhona. Endaweni yokuhlala ucela okungakumbi, zama ukunika ngaphezulu ngaphandle kwemeko," utshilo uWindell. "Yenze umbulelo wokuba ubulelane yonke imihla ngento enentsingiselo kuwe. Uphando lubonakalisile ukuba singayitshintsha i-chemistry kwiibhongo zethu ukukhetha ulonwabo kwimiba yeentsuku ezingama-21-oko kukubulela, ukuba namaxesha anentsingiselo. , encumile, ebhala amanqaku othando kunye nokucinga okuhle. " Nokuba uncumo okanye ukwanga kunokumbonisa ukuba uthetha kangakanani ... ke yenza nezinto ezincinci. Ngoku. Namhlanje.

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