Iingcebiso ezili-9 zokuBuyiselwa kweNarcissistic

Umxholo

• Yivume impatho gadalala
• Cwangcisa imida yakho kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo
• Lungiselela iimvakalelo ezinzima
• Phinda ubuye isazisi sakho
• Ziqhelise ukuzenzela imfesane
• Qonda ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zisenokuhlala ixesha elide
• Zikhathalele
• Thetha nabanye
• Fumana inkxaso yobungcali

Ukuba kutshanje ubuphelisile ubudlelwane obunetyhefu nomntu oneempawu zobunkunkqele, kusenokwenzeka ukuba ujongene nobunzima kunye nokudideka.

Nokuba uyazi, nzulu, ukuba awunatyala, ukukholelwa ukuba eli lelinye ibali ngokupheleleyo.

Ukucinga ukuba ungenza ntoni ngokwahlukileyo ukunqanda ukuxhatshazwa okanye ukunceda umntu omthandayo ukuba ajongane nemicimbi yabo kunokongeza kwisiphithiphithi sakho seemvakalelo.

Ubudlelwane obuyityhefu bukwabelana ngokufana nokulutha, ucacisa uEllen Biros, ingcali eSuwanee, eGeorgia, ogxile ekuncedeni abantu bachache kubudlelwane obuhlukumezayo.

Ulwalamano luyanxila. Kukho ukuqiniswa okwexeshana, kwaye kukho ihlazo elikhulu kunye nokuziva unetyala malunga nobudlelwane, "utshilo uBiros.

Ezi zinto zinokudlala njengoko uzama ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Uyazi ukuba ubudlelwane bebungekho mpilweni. Uyazi ukuba bakuphethe kakubi. Kodwa awusenako ukuzishukumisa iinkumbulo zakho zendlela owawuziva ngayo ekuqaleni kunye namaxesha amnandi owawunawo.

Ezi nkumbulo zinokukhokelela ekubeni unqwenele inkampani yabo kwaye uzive ngathi unokwenza nantoni na ukufumana uthando kunye nokwamkelwa kwakhona.

Ukuphathwa gadalala kuhlala kuyenzakalisa kakhulu, kwaye inkqubo yokunyanga ingathatha ixesha.

Ukuba uziva ulahlekile, iingcebiso ezingezantsi zingakunceda uthathe amanyathelo akho okuqala kwindlela yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Yivume impatho gadalala

Ukuqonda ukuba ukhe waxhatshazwa, nokuba uvela kwiqabane olithandanayo, kwilungu losapho, okanye kumhlobo, linyathelo lokuqala elibalulekileyo lokufumana kwakhona.

Ekuqaleni kwenkqubo yokuphilisa, unokuba nexesha elinzima lokubeka bucala izizathu kunye nokuzithethelela kokuziphatha komnye umntu.

Ngapha koko, unokuziva ukulungele ngokupheleleyo ukubekek 'ityala kuwe, okoko kuthetha ukuba awunyanzelekanga ukuba uvume umntu omthandayo ukuba akwenzakalise ngabom.

Oku kuqhelekile kwaye kuyaqondakala ngokupheleleyo.

Ukukhanyela kunokukukhusela, ngandlela thile. Uthando olunamandla okanye uthando losapho lusibekela ubunyani kubantu abaninzi.

Kunzima ukwamkela ukuba abanye abantu ababonakali bekhathala xa besenzakalisa abanye.

Kodwa ukukhanyela okwenzekileyo kuyakuthintela ekujonganeni nayo nasekuphiliseni kuyo. Inokukuseta kwakhona ukuze ufumane iintlungu ezininzi kwixa elizayo.

Ukuba uyazi ukuba umntu omthandayo unamava oxinzelelo lweemvakalelo zabo, unokuzixhalabisa ngale mizabalazo kwaye ufuna ukubanika ithuba lesibini.

Imfesane ayikaze iphosakele, kodwa imiba yezempilo yengqondo ayikuthetheleli ukuxhatshazwa. Ungahlala ubakhuthaza ukuba bafikelele kwinkxaso- ngelixa usenza indawo eyoneleyo yokuzigcina ukhuselekile.

"Zixhobise ngemfundo malunga nokuziphatha okuthandabuzisayo," ucebisa njalo uBiros.

Ukufunda ukufumanisa amaqhinga ahlala esetyenziswa ngabantu abane-narcissism kunokwenza kube lula ukuza namava akho.

Cwangcisa imida yakho kwaye uchaze ngokucacileyo

Iingcali zonyango kunye neengcali zokubuyiselwa gadalala zihlala zincoma ukunqumla lonke unxibelelwano neqabane lakho langaphambili emva kokuphelisa ubudlelwane, nanini na kunokwenzeka.

Ukuya kunxibelelana ayingomda nje kubo. Kukwangumda kuwe, onokufumana kunzima kakhulu ekuqaleni.

Kuqhelekile ukuziva ufuna ukufikelela okanye uphendule umnxeba kunye nemiyalezo, ngakumbi ukuba bacela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo kwaye bathembisa ukutshintsha.

Ukuthintela inani labo, idilesi ye-imeyile, kunye neeakhawunti zosasazo zasekuhlaleni zinokukunceda unganikezeli kwesi silingo.

Gcina ukhumbula ukuba banokuzama ukunxibelelana nawe ngezinye iindlela, kungakunceda ukuba ube nesicwangciso sendlela oza kujongana ngayo noku.

Kodwa ukuya kunxibelelana akunakwenzeka kuzo zonke iimeko. Mhlawumbi unabantwana nabo, okanye bayilungu losapho oya kubona ngamanye amaxesha kwiindibano.

Ukuba kunjalo, cinga malunga nento oyifunayo noyifunayo: “Ndifanele ukuphathwa ngentlonipho.”

Emva koko jika loo nto ibe ngumda: "Ndizimisele ukuncokola nawe, kodwa ukuba uyangxola, uthuke, okanye undibize ngamagama, ndiza kuhamba kwangoko."

Ukwenza indawo ebalulekileyo kunye nomgama ngokwakho, jonga nemida yakho, enje:

• ukungabelani ngolwazi lomntu (inyathelo eliphambili ekunyikimeni okungwevu)
• ukuthintela unxibelelwano kwiqonga elinye, njengedilesi ye-imeyile ongayisebenzisiyo nayiphi na enye into

Lungiselela iimvakalelo ezinzima

Uninzi lokwahlukana kubandakanya iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu, kubandakanya:

• usizi nelahleko
• ukothuka
• umsindo
• lusizi okanye iimvakalelo zokudakumba

Emva kokuphelisa ubudlelwane obubonakaliswa kukuphathwa gadalala, unokuzifumana kunye nezinye iintlobo zoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, utshilo uBiros.

Oku kubandakanya:

• ixhala
• uloyiko
• paranoia
• iintloni

Ukuxhwaleka kobudlelwane obunetyhefu nako kunokukushiya uneempawu zengxaki yoxinzelelo lwasemva koxinzelelo (PTSD).

Abantu abanetyhefu banokubangela iintlungu ezininzi. Kodwa banesakhono sokwenza ukuba ukholelwe kwinyani yabo.

Ke ngelixa usenokuba unamanxeba anzulu emphefumlweni, usenokubuza ngezenzo zakho.

Uthando lwakho ngabo lungenza, umzekelo, aqiniseke ukuba yayiyimpazamo yakho ukuba bakulahlekisile kwaye bakuphathe kakubi.

Ukuqhawula ubudlelwane obunobungozi bosapho nako kunokubangela iimvakalelo zokuziva unetyala okanye ukunganyaniseki.

La ngamava aqhelekileyo ngokweemvakalelo. Ukusebenza ngabo kuphela akusoloko kulula, nangona, ngakumbi xa uziva udidekile ziindlela zobuqhetseba.

Ingcali inokubonelela ngenkxaso njengoko uqala ukuhamba kwezi mvakalelo zinzima.

Phinda ubuye isazisi sakho

Abantu abaneempawu zoburharha bahlala belindele ukuba abanye baziphathe ngeendlela ezithile. Bayabajongela phantsi okanye bagxeke abantu ngokungaphumeleli ukufezekisa le migangatho. Nantsi indlela enokubonakala ngayo:

• Umntu wakho wangaphambili wathi iinwele zakho zikhangeleka "zibubudenge kwaye zimbi," ke uyitshintshile.
• Umzali wakho wayehlala ekuxelela ukuba "usisidenge" "ngokuchitha ixesha" emculweni, ke uyeke ukudlala ipiyano.
• Banokuzama ukulawula ixesha lakho kwaye bakuthintele ekuboneni abahlobo okanye ekuthatheni inxaxheba ngokwakho.

Ukuba utshintshe inkangeleko yakho kunye nesitayile okanye izinto ezilahlekileyo obukade uzixabisile ngenxa yokukhohlisa, unokuziva ngathi awusazazi kakuhle.

Inxalenye yokuchacha kubandakanya ukuziqhelanisa nawe ngokwakho, okanye ukuqonda ukuba ukonwabela ntoni, ufuna ukulichitha njani ixesha lakho, kwaye ufuna ukuchitha nabani.

I-Biros icebisa ukuthintela ukuthandana kunye nokwenza ubudlelwane obutsha ngexesha lokubuyisela.

Usaphilisa, ngapha koko. Ukuzihlola kunye nokwakha ubudlelwane bakho kunye nawe kunokukwenza ube mngciphekweni.

Ziqhelise ukuzenzela imfesane

Nje ukuba uvume ukuba ubudlelwane bakho, eneneni, babuhlukumeza, usenokugxekwa kakhulu ngokwakho.

Kodwa khumbula, akukho mntu ufanelwe ukuxhatshazwa, kwaye indlela abaziphatha ngayo ifanelekile hayi ityala lakho.

Endaweni yokuba uzibeke ityala ngokuwa kwabo ngenxa yokuxhaphaza okanye ngokuzigweba ubavumela bakuphathe kakubi ixesha elide, zinike uxolelo endaweni yoko.

Awunakho ukutshintsha okudlulileyo, kwaye awunakho ukutshintsha indlela abaziphethe ngayo okanye izenzo zabo. Unamandla ngaphezulu kwakho.

Kodwa ungawasebenzisa la mandla ukwenza ukhetho lokuhlonipha iimfuno zakho, njengembeko, ulonwabo nothando olusempilweni.

Zincome ngenxa yokukhetha ukuphelisa ubudlelwane, kwaye uzikhuthaze ukuba unamathele kweso sigqibo.

Xa uziva uphantsi, zama ukuphinda amazwi athi "Ndomelele," "Ndiyathandwa," okanye "Ndikhaliphile."

Qonda ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zisenokuhlala ixesha elide

Uthando lunokuba nzima, ngokuyinxenye kuba awukwazi ukuyilawula ngokwenene.

Awunakuhlala uyeka ukuthanda umntu, nokuba ngumntu okuvise kabuhlungu.

Emva kokuphelisa ubudlelwane, usenokubambelela kwiinkumbulo ezintle kwaye unqwenela ukuba ngandlel 'ithile uphinde ube nazo ezo ntsuku.

Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba awudingi ukuyeka ukuthanda umntu ukuze uqale ukuphilisa. Ukulindela ukuba oko kwenzeke kunokuyinqanda inkqubo yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo.

Wena unako qhubeka nothando lomntu ngelixa usazi indlela abaziphethe ngayo eyenza ukuba kungabikho lula ukuba ugcine ubudlelwane kunye nabo.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwamkela olu lwazi kunokutsiba ukunqamka ngokweemvakalelo ekunceda ukuba uzive ukwazi ngakumbi ukwahlula kubudlelwane.

Zikhathalele

Iindlela ezilungileyo zokuzikhathalela zingenza umohluko omkhulu ekuphulukeni kwakho. Ukuzikhathalela kubandakanya ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zakho zeemvakalelo nezomzimba.

Oko kunokubandakanya izinto ezinje:

• ukulala ngokwaneleyo
• ukuphumla xa uxinezelekile okanye uxinzelelo
• ukwenza ixesha lezinto ozithandayo kunye neminye imisebenzi oyithandayo
• ukudibanisa nabantu obathandayo
• ukusebenzisa izakhono zokujamelana nokulawula iingcinga eziphazamisayo
• ukutya ukutya okunezondlo
• ukuhlala usebenza

Ingqondo nomzimba wakho ziyancedana, ke ukhathalelo lweemfuno zomzimba kunokukunceda uzive womelele kwaye uxhotyiselwe ukusebenza ngoxinzelelo lweemvakalelo.

Thetha nabanye

Ukuvula abahlobo abaxhasayo kunye namalungu osapho kunokukunceda uzive uwedwa xa uphilisa.

Abantu abakukhathaleleyo banako:

• nikela imfesane
• qinisekisa iintlungu ohlangabezana nazo
• ukunceda ukukuphazamisa okanye ukubonelela inkampani ngeentsuku ezinzima
• ndikukhumbuze ukuba ukuxhatshazwa ibingelilo ityala lakho

Kodwa abanye abantu ebomini bakho abanakho ukunika inkxaso eninzi (okanye nayiphi na).

Amanye amalungu osapho angathatha icala lomntu ophethe gadalala. Abahlobo bobabini banokuxhasa umntu owayekuhlukumeza.

Oku kunokubangela ukudideka kunye nokwenzakala okukhulu. Ihlala iluncedo ukuseta imida ngexesha lakho naba bantu njengoko usebenza ukubuyela.

Unokwenza, umzekelo, ubacele bangathethi ngomntu okufuphi, okanye uphephe ukwabelana ngezimvo zabo malunga nemeko leyo kunye nawe.

Ukuba abahloniphi loo mida, cinga ukunciphisa ixesha olichitha nabo.

Amaqela enkxaso akwanika nethuba lokuphula inzolo zakho malunga nokuxhatshazwa okwenzileyo.

Kwiqela lenkxaso, unokwabelana nabanye ngebali lakho kwaye uzama nokuphilisa.

UBiros ucebisa ukuba:

• INarcissist Abuse Support, iwebhusayithi ebonelela ngolwazi kunye nezixhobo malunga nokuxhatshazwa
• Umqeqeshi wobomi kunye nombhali uLisa A. Romano wevidiyo zikaYouTube malunga nokuchacha kubudlelwane obunobungozi
• Ukumkanikazi u-Beeing, iqela elikhuselekileyo, labucala kunye nenkululeko yokuxhasa abantu ukuba baphinde baphathwe gadalala
• Amaqela okudibana nabantu abasindileyo be-narcissism

Fumana inkxaso yobungcali

Ukuthetha nonyango lomntu ngamnye kunokukunceda uthathe inyathelo elibalulekileyo ekuphuculeni impilo-ntle yeemvakalelo.

Ukuba ukufumene kunzima ukushiya umntu ekuhlukumeza, okanye sele uneengcinga zokubanika elinye ithuba, ugqirha unokukunceda uchonge izizathu zezi mvakalelo kwaye wenze isicwangciso sokuphepha ukukhetha okungancediyo kwikamva.

Umgqirha unokubonelela ngesikhokelo kunye:

• ukwakha izakhono ezintsha zokujamelana
• ukuxelela abantu ngoxhatshazo olo
• Ukulwa kubongoza ukunxibelelana nomntu ophethe gadalala
• ukujongana nokudakumba, unxunguphalo, okanye ezinye iimpawu zempilo yengqondo
• Ukoyisa iingcinga zokuzibulala okanye ukuzenzakalisa

U-Biros ucacisa ukuba unyango lunokukunceda ukuba uqonde izizathu ezingakwenza ube sesichengeni sokuphathwa gadalala.

Ukushwankathela, unyango lubonelela ngendawo ekhuselekileyo apho ingcali eqeqeshiweyo, enovelwano inokukunceda uphonononge kwaye uqonde ukungcola kweemvakalelo osokola ukukhupha.

Wena unako Philisa, nangona kungenzeki kwangoko. Ingcali inokukunceda uzive uxhaswa ngakumbi xa uqala uhambo.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.