Ukuwa eluthandweni nomyeni wakho ndikhathaze

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Ngu-Alex Alexander, kwiYourTango.com

Mna ndingowentanda yam, nentanda yam yeyam yona. Sihlala ngaphesheya komnye nomnye kwi-Greasy Spoon diner, sifikelela phezu kwetafile ukuze sibambe izandla, siphulula oobhontsi ngokuthantamisa komdlali wevayolin. Kuya kufuneka sithinte, sihlale sichukumisa. Siyaqhula kwaye sihleke, siyathetha, sihleli kunqulo olunyulu. Ndiyazi yonke intshi yobuso bakhe kwaye uyazi yonke intshi yam. Ndi-odola ukutya kwakhe (enye iBelgium yajiwuzisa kwicala elithambileyo, ipleyiti yecrispy bacon) kwaye iyalela eyam (isitaki esifutshane, akukho bhotolo, isitya seziqhamo, icala lebhekoni eyongeziweyo). Sihleli, kunye eluthandweni lwethu, sonwabile yonke imizuzwana.

Imoto iphuma ngaphandle kwaye iqinisekisa ukuba uyayikrwaqula. Ukujonga kubambe ixesha elide kakhulu. Isibini esisemotweni singena ngaphakathi kwaye ulandela yonke into abayenzayo. Bahlala eminqubeni emibini emva kwethu. Ujonge umzuzwana, aphinde ahluthe izandla zakhe etafileni. I-divot kumnwe wakhe wesangqa ubamba ukukhanya, indikhumbuza intuthumbo endihlala ndiyifihla xa sikunye. Uphuthaphutha epokothweni yakhe, ekhawuleze ngoloyiko, aze abuyisele ibhendi yakhe yomtshato kwiplatinam. Intliziyo yam isengxakini. Sifumana i-bill kwaye sihlawule ukutya kwethu okungekagqitywa. Ngaphandle, uyaxolisa. Andithethi nto ndiqhube ndigoduka ndedwa iinyembezi.

Okungakumbi kwi-YourTango: Iindlela ezi-6 zomtshato wanamhlanje ziSham (ngokwe-Polyamorist)

Ungacinga emva kweminyaka emithathu ndithandana nendoda etshatileyo, sendiyiqhelile lento.

Kodwa isaluma nje ngokuqala kwethu ukubalekela kwisihlobo sakhe kwaye kuye kwafuneka "ndizimele emva kweorenji" kwivenkile yokutya. Ngokwenyani, le yayiyinto engafane yenzeke. Mhlawumbi loo nto yenze mandundu? Andisoze ndazi ngokuqinisekileyo. Ndicinga ukuba isiphoso sesam. Ukuba andikaze ndivumele izinto ukuba ziqhubeke, ngekhe ndive buhlungu bushukumisa iintliziyo zam xa sifuna ukufihla ubudlelwane bethu okanye ndiziva umona xa egoduka nenkosikazi yakhe, njengoko wayehlala esenza.

Ndiyenzele ntoni? Kutheni nabani na esenza? Ekuqaleni kwayo yonke loo nto, imeko yemeko yayiqubha ngolonwabo engqondweni yam. Khawuthelekelele inkululeko! Khawufane ucinge ngokungabikho koxanduva lokuzibophelela! Ndandingumfazi okhuselekileyo, ozithembileyo kwaye ndandingazimiselanga ukubeka ubomi bam esichengeni ngenxa yobudlelwane nayo yonke into eza nayo. Njengabafazi abaninzi banamhlanje, ndaziva ndidinga indoda ngento enye, kwaye indlela yokuphila edibeneyo yayingeyiyo loo nto. Ndiye ndacinga, ngubani olunge ngakumbi kunomntu otshatileyo? Ngapha koko, indoda etshatileyo enabantwana! Wayeneembopheleleko zakhe nomfazi wakhe nentsapho yakhe. Bekungayi kubakho kusasa-emva kwasekuseni, akukho fowuni rhoqo okanye iitekisi. Bendingaba nayo yonke indawo endiyifunayo ndingeva sikhalazo kwesiphelo sakhe. Kuya kuba lula kwaye ngaphandle koxinzelelo.

Kodwa into eyaqala njengobudlelwane obulula, obungaqhagamshelwanga (okanye ubuncinci inkohliso enye) iye yavela kokungaphezulu. Awunakuze ube nekhekhe lakho kwaye ulidle nalo. Mhlawumbi yayikukushukuma kombane esakuvayo sobabini xa sasiqala ukudibana nokuxhawulana okanye mhlawumbi yayikukuqondana kwethu iingxaki zomnye. Nokuba yeyiphi na indlela, sikhule sixhomekeke komnye nomnye. Saba kukuya komnye nomnye xa omnye wethu efuna inkxaso. Kwaye ubuhlobo obuqhelekileyo-kunye neenzuzo zidityaniswa zibe lukhathalelo, ubudlelwane obunothando. Ndabona i-aurora idanisa emehlweni akhe xa endibona, kwaye wayenokubona ukukhanya kwam. Sasisazana ngaphakathi nangaphandle, ubomi bethu babudibene kangangokuba kwakunzima ukwahlulahlula.

Okungakumbi kwiYourTango: Yikes! 7 Imikhondo EZINKULU Ubudlelwane bakho buyatshabalala

Kodwa andizange ndithembele kwimigibe yolu hlobo lobudlelwane.

Ndacinga ukuba ndiyifumene yonke into. Bendingalindelanga ukukhula ndimfuna. Bendingalindelanga ukumkhumbula xa singekho kunye, bendingalindelanga ukuba ndinamathele kakhulu kubantwana bakhe kangangokuba baziva ngathi bayintsapho, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo bendingalindelanga ukuthandana. Okanye ukuba athandane nam. Into endicinga ukuba inokuba yinto elula yagqitywa kukucinezeleka. Kwafuneka sizimele. Ixesha lethu kunye lalihlala lifutshane ukuze umfazi wakhe angafumani. Ndandinomona kwaye ndinomsindo kwaye ndithandana ngothando, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, ndandibuhlungu kangangokuba ndandingakwazi ukuma. Ndikuthiyile ukuba sesibini emgceni, kanti bendinjalo. Wayeza kundibalisela amabali amnandi malunga nokuba siza kuba kunye ngokusisigxina ngenye imini. Wayeza kumshiya aze abe nam. Inxalenye encinci yam yamkholelwa, kodwa abanye bam babesazi ngcono. Sekunjalo ndihleli. We had an intense connection kangangokuba ndaqiniseka ukuba ukuphila ngaphandle kwakhe kuya kuba kubi kakhulu kunokunyamezela intlungu yokwabelana nomntu wam. Njengayo yonke enye into ebomini bam, ulwalamano lwethu lwapheliswa ngamazwi engoma endaziva ngathi ndichaza imeko yethu.

Iswekile, "Hlala": Kubuhlungu kakhulu ukunyamezela / ukuthanda indoda kufuneka wabelane ngayo. Abaphangi, "Shiya iziqwenga": Uthi awufuni kundivisa kabuhlungu, awufuni ukuzibona iinyembezi zam / kutheni usamile apha ubukele nje xa nditshona… Awusenzi isigqibo sakho / uyandibulala kwaye uchitha ixesha. INickel Creek, "Bekufanele ukuba ndazi ngcono": Uthando lwakho lwaluthetha ingxaki ukusukela mhla sadibana / waphumelela isandla sonke, ndaphulukana nalo lonke ubhejo. Zac Brown Band, "Imozulu ebandayo": Kwaye uyazibuza ukuba ingaba uthando lwakhe lomelele ngokwaneleyo na ukuze amenze ahlale / Uphendulwa zizibane zomsila / Ukukhanya ngefestile yefestile.

Ukumamela kwabo kwandenza ndaziva ndibhetele. Indiqinisekisile ukuba umntu uhambe kwa ezi zinto ndizenzileyo, ukuba andindedwa ekubandezelekeni kwam. Kodwa nangomculo, ndandiziva izinto ziqala ukuwohloka. Ndaqala ukuthanda kakhulu ubomi bakhe kunye naye. Babesenza ntoni? Babesiya phi? Ngaba wayesonwaba naye ngakumbi kunam? Yintoni le intle kangaka ngaye? Uthando lwethu omnye komnye lwahlala lomelele, kodwa ubudlelwane babuphelile. Ndiyayazi into endifanele ndiyenze, nangona ndizama ukuyihoya.

Okunye okusuka ku-YourTango: Ubusuku obushushu beSmokin 'Umyeni wam kunye nam sandenza ngathi singabasemzini

Ngorhatya olufudumeleyo lwangoMatshi, ndawugqiba.

Ukugodola kwakuwushiyile umoya kwaye iNtwasahlobo eyayingenayo yandigcwalisa ngamandla kunye nenkuthazo yokwenza eyona nto inzima endandiyazi ukuba kufuneka ndiyenze. Iinyembezi zam zehla ngokukhawuleza njengendudumo yokuqala yonyaka.

"Uthini?" wandibuza. "Ndicinga ukuba ndohlukana nawe," ndatsho.

“Mhlawumbi kufuneka ucinge ngayo ngakumbi,” wacinezela. Ndamxelela, "Andizukufika kwisigqibo esahlukileyo. Iphelile."

Kwaba njalo ke. Kwakungekho buqhophololo kunye neemeko. Inyaniso nje ebandayo. Sithethile kancinci kwezi ntsuku zimbalwa kwaye ekugqibeleni yaphela kunxibelelwano. Kuthe cwaka, umhlaba wam ubuphela. Ndincame uthando, ngobomi. Ndiye ndalala imini yonke andatya. Abahlobo bam kunye nosapho babenamathele. Babengazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni; Yonke into ababeyazi yayikukudakumba kwam okubonakala kungeyomfuneko. Ndazulazula ndibuya ndisiya emsebenzini phakathi kweengxoxo zengcebiso, ukwanga okwethutyana kunye neenzame zokundinyanzela ukuba nditye. Ekugqibeleni, ndandisaphukile. Eyona nto imbi ngaphezu kokuthwala ubunzima obunzima wedwa kukuzithwala ngokwakho.

Okungakumbi kwi-YourTango: Imibuzo eli-10 ebalulekileyo kwiNdoda yakho yexesha elizayo KUFUNEKA ukwazi ukuyiphendula

Uye wafowuna.

Ebefuna ndiyazi umfazi wakhe wazi yonke into. Ukuba uyandithanda kwaye akanakho ukusebenza ngaphandle kwam. Kodwa wayengakulungelanga. Ndicela ukulinda. Wayendidinga. Wayeza kuba nam xa abantwana bakhe beqala isikolo kwakhona. Ebezakuba nam ngo September. Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo bendiza kulinda. Ebesisithandwa sam.

Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezizayo kwakuvuthuza uvuyo kunye nentandabuzo. Sasikunye phantse yonke imihla, njengoko kunye njengobudlelwane obufihliweyo bukuvumela ukuba ube. Uthethe ngamaphupha exesha elide, malunga nendlu yethu elizayo kunye nohambo esiza kuluthatha kwaye ekugqibeleni sibe nabantwana. Intliziyo yam ibikulangazelela kwaye ifuna ukumthemba. Ingqondo yam ibisazi ngcono. Ndihleli ecaleni, ndinamathele ethembeni, kwaye ndimjongile xa ethenga ifanitshala entsha nenkosikazi yakhe. Bafumene imoto entsha. Waqesha umgcini mhlaba kwaye waqalisa ukulungisa endlwini yakhe. Ndaba nguMvulo ukuya ngoLwesihlanu, intombi ezisithoba ukuya ezintlanu. Kwezo yure zimashumi mane ngeveki umfazi wakhe wayesebenza, wayengowam. Wayendithanda endikhonza ethetha ngekamva lethu. Kodwa wafika uSeptemba kwadlula uSeptemba. Ilanga nenyanga zavela zawa. Kwaye ndandisendodwa.

Undixelele ukuba sizoba kunye ngoSeptemba. Ke rhoqo ngoSeptemba wokuqala, ndiyalinda. Ndiya kwaloo Greasy Spoon diner ndifike ndimlindile. Ngenxa yothando lwam. Kwaye njengoko iminyaka ihamba, ithemba lam alipheli. Ihlala yomelele yomelele. Mhlawumbi ngenye imini, emva kwexesha elilahlekileyo, uya kundijoyina kunye noSeptemba wam.

Okungakumbi okusuka ku-YourTango: 5 OKUYINENE (Kwaye iyothusa kwaphela) Izizathu zokuba amadoda aqeshe oonongogo

Eli nqaku livele lavela njengam omnye umfazi kwaye ukuthanda indoda yakho kuyandikhathaza, nakuYeTango.com

Uphengululo lwe