Kuthetha Ukuthini Ukuba Ngungqingili?

Umxholo

• Ingaba ithetha ntoni?
• Ngaba inxulumene nantoni ne-asexuality?
• Iyintoni ingongoma yokuba nekota yoku?
• Lavela phi eli gama?
• Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kobufanasini kunye nesondo?
• Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kobungqingili kunye nokungafani?
• Kutheni le nto umntu enokukhetha ukusebenzisa igama elinye kunabanye?
• Kubonakala njani ukuba ubufanasini xa usenza into?
• Ngaba ukhona umntu othandana naye kule nto?
• Wazi njani ukuba ubufanasini lixesha elifanelekileyo kuwe?
• Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba awusazichongi njengobufanasini?
• Ungafunda phi ngaphezulu?

1139712434

Ingaba ithetha ntoni?

Abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye ngabo banomdla wokutsala naluphi na uhlobo.

Bonke abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye banokuchonga njenge-gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, okanye olunye ulwabelana ngesondo.

Kungenxa yokuba "ubungqingili" abuchazi ubuni obuthandwayo, kodwa kunoko kukuba unomdla wesondo kumntu othile.

Ngaba inxulumene nantoni ne-asexuality?

Ubungqingili buchasene nobungqingili.

Umntu we-asexual akanawo umtsalane wesini.

Uninzi lwabantu luthatha ubufanasini "njengophawu oluphakathi" phakathi kwe-asexuality kunye nobufanasini.

Abantu abathandanayo ngokwesini bafumana umtsalane ngokwesini ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa hayi rhoqo, okanye hayi kakhulu.

Iyintoni ingongoma yokuba nekota yoku?

Kubalulekile ukwahlula bonke ubufanasini kwi-asexuality. Rhoqo, bonke ubufanasini buthathelwa ingqalelo njengamava akhe wonke umntu - sonke kulindeleke ukuba sibenomtsalane wezesondo ngexesha elithile ebomini bethu.

Ke abantu bahlala beva malunga nobungqingili kwaye bacinga okwahlukileyo njengokuqhelekileyo.

Ingxaki yile yokuba ukubhalwa kwabantu abathandana nabantu abathandana nabo njengabantu "abangaqhelekanga" yinxalenye yocalulo abajamelene nalo.

Ukuziqhelanisa nomntu wesini esahlukileyo ayisiyonyango, ukuphambuka, okanye into efuna ukulungiswa - yinxalenye yabo.

Ukuphepha ukubiza elinye njengelithi "asexual" kunye elinye "njengesiqhelo," sisebenzisa igama elithi "allosexual."

Oku kuyinxalenye yesizathu sokuba kutheni sinamagama athi "isini esahlukileyo" kunye ne "cisgender" - kuba kubalulekile ukubiza amaqela aphikisanayo, njengoko inceda ukwenza umahluko.

I-Allonormativity ligama elibhekisa kwimbono yokuba bonke abantu abathandani bobufanasini-Oko kukuthi, bonke abantu bafumana umdla wesondo.

Eminye imizekelo ye-allonormativity ibandakanya ukucinga ukuba wonke umntu:

• ine-crushes ukuba baziva betsala ngokwesondo
• Ukwabelana ngesondo ngaxa lithile ebomini babo
• ufuna isondo

Akukho nanye kwezo ngcinga ziyinyani.

Lavela phi eli gama?

Ngokutsho kwe-LGBTA Wiki, igama lantlandlolo elisetyenziselwa ukuchaza ubufanasini yayilula nje "ukuba neentlobano zesini"

Nangona kunjalo, nge-2011, abantu baqala ukukhankasela ukusetyenziswa kwe "sex" ukuchaza abantu abangafaniyo ngesondo.

Isigama sisenempikiswano enkulu, njengoko le ncoko kwiforum ye-AVEN ibonisa.

Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kobufanasini kunye nesondo?

Abantu bakhankasele ngokuchasene nokusetyenziswa "kwezesondo" ukuchaza abantu abangadibaniyo ngokwesini ngezi zizathu zilandelayo:

• Ukudideka. Amagama "ezesondo" kunye "nokwabelana ngesondo" sele athetha enye into - kwaye oku kungabhidisa. Umzekelo, xa sixoxa ngobufanasini, kuya kufuneka sisebenzise "isini," igama elisetyenziswa ngokuqhelekileyo ukuthetha into enxulumene, kodwa eyahlukileyo.
• Ukungakhululeki. Ukubiza umntu "ngesondo" kunokuthetha ukuba umbona njengento yokwabelana ngesondo okanye kungenjalo ubabelana ngesondo nabo. Oku kunokungonwabi kubantu abaye bahlaselwa ngokwesondo, abantu abahlambuluke ngabom, kunye nabantu abaxelwayo njenge-hypersexual luluntu.
• Ukudibanisa isenzo sesondo kunye nokuziqhelanisa nokwabelana ngesondo. "Ukwabelana ngesondo" kunokuthetha ukuba umntu uyabelana ngesondo. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba nobufanasini nokuba neentlobano zesini zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. Abanye abantu abathandana nabantu besini esinye ababelani ngesondo, kwaye abanye abantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo bayabelana ngesondo. Ileyibhile kufuneka ichaphazele ukuqhelaniswa kwakho, hayi indlela oziphethe ngayo.

Konke okuthethileyo, abanye abantu basasebenzisa igama elithi "isini" ukuba lithethe "bonke abantu abathandanayo."

Nguwuphi umahluko phakathi kobungqingili kunye nokungafani?

Abantu basasebenzisa igama elithi "non-asexual." Nangona kunjalo, oku akubandakanyi abantu abathandanayo abathandanayo.

Njengoko kukhankanyiwe ngaphambili, abantu abathandanayo abathandana nabantu abathandana besini esifutshane abafane babe nomtsalane ngokwesini, okanye ngamandla amancinci. Abanye abantu abesilisa nabasetyhini abathandanayo bazithatha njengenxalenye yoluntu lwase-asexual, ngelixa abanye bengenalo.

Ke, igama elithi "non-asexual" licebisa ukuba lisebenze kuye wonke umntu ongenguye u-asexual- kubandakanya nabantu abathandanayo abathandanayo abangazichazi njenge-asexual.

Igama elithi "allosexual" licebisa ukuba sithetha ngaye wonke umntu ongeyena ungwevu ngokwesini okanye iziqhelo.

Kutheni le nto umntu enokukhetha ukusebenzisa igama elinye kunabanye?

Njengoko kukhankanyiwe, abantu abaninzi abawuthandi amagama athi "non-asexual" okanye "ngesondo." Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu abalithandi igama elithi "allosexual," nabo.

Ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni abantu bengalithandi igama elithi "allosexuality" zibandakanya:

• “Allo-” lithetha “enye,” engaphikisani no “a-.”
• Lixesha elinokudideka, ngelixa "i-non-asexual" icacile.
• Abayithandi indlela evakala ngayo.

Akukho magama acetyiswayo abonakala ngathi amkelwe ngumntu wonke, kwaye ihlala ingumba ophikisanayo namhlanje.

Kubonakala njani ukuba ubufanasini xa usenza into?

Ukuba ungowesini sonke kuthetha ukuba ufumana umdla wesondo. Oku kunokujongeka njengoku:

• ukuba neentlobano zesini ebantwini
• ukuba neengcinga zesondo malunga nabantu abathile
• Ukuthatha isigqibo sokungena kubudlelwane bezesondo, okanye obunothando, ngokusekwe kwinxalenye yeemvakalelo zakho zesondo kubo
• ukhetha ukuba ngubani olala naye ngokusekwe kubani onomdla kuye
• ukuqonda kunye nokunxibelelana nabantu abachaza iimvakalelo zabo zomtsalane wesini

Usenokungayifumani yonke le mizekelo, nokuba awuthandani nabantu bonke.

Ngokunjalo, abanye abantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo banokuchonga amanye ala mava. Umzekelo, abanye abantu abathandana nabantu abathandanayo banayo kwaye bayonwabele isondo.

Ngaba ukhona umntu othandana naye kule nto?

Ewe! Abantu baseAlloromantic baphambene nabantu abathandekayo.

Abantu baseAlloromantic bafumana umtsalane wothando, ngelixa abantu abathandekayo benamava okuthandana.

Wazi njani ukuba ubufanasini lixesha elifanelekileyo kuwe?

Akukho luvavanyo lokuchonga ukuba ngaba u-asexual, greysexual, okanye ungowesini sonke.

Kodwa unokukufumanisa kuluncedo ukuzibuza:

• Ndihlala ndifumana umtsalane kwisini?
• Unzulu kangakanani lo mtsalane wesini?
• Ngaba kufuneka ndizive nditsaleleka emntwini ukuze ndifune ubudlelwane nabo?
• Ndikunandipha njani ukubonisa uthando? Ngaba isondo liyinto kuyo?
• Ndiziva njani ngesondo?
• Ngaba ndiziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndifune kwaye ndonwabele isondo, okanye ngaba ndiyifunayo kwaye ndiyonwabele?
• Ngaba ndingaziva ndikhululekile ukuchonga njenge-asexual, greysexual, okanye allosexual? Kutheni usitsho?

Akukho mpendulo "zichanekileyo" kule mibuzo ingentla - kukunceda nje ukuba ucinge ngobuni bakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho.

Wonke umntu wesini esahlukileyo wahlukile, kwaye iimpendulo zabo kwezi zingentla zinokwahluka.

Kwenzeka ntoni ukuba awusazichongi njengobufanasini?

Kulungile! Abantu abaninzi banoluvo lokuba inkanuko yesini iyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha.

Unokuchonga njengobungqingili ngoku kunye ne-asexual okanye i-greysexual kamva. Ngokufanayo, usenokuba wachonga njenge-asexual okanye i-greysexual ngaphambili, kwaye ngoku uziva ngathi ulala nabantu bonke.

Oku akuthethi ukuba uphosakele, okanye udidekile, okanye wophukile - ngamava aqhelekileyo abantu abaninzi abanalo.

Ngapha koko, ubalo lwabantu ababesabelana ngesondo ngo-2015 lwafumanisa ukuba ngaphezulu kweepesenti ezingama-80 zabaphenduli abachongiweyo abachongiweyo njengenye indlela yokuziqhelanisa ngaphambi kokuchongwa njenge-asexual.

Ungafunda phi ngaphezulu?

Uyakwazi ukufumana okungakumbi malunga nokuziphatha ngokwesini kunye nokuzibandakanya kwi-intanethi okanye kwii-meetups zasekuhlaleni.

Ukuba unendawo ekuhlaleni ye-LGBTQIA +, unokukwazi ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu apho.

Unokufunda ngakumbi koku:

• Ukubonakala kwe-Asexual and Network Network (AVEN) indawo ye-wiki, apho unokukhangela khona iinkcazo zamagama ahlukeneyo ngokunxulumene nokwabelana ngesondo kunye nokuziqhelanisa.
• I-LGBTA Wiki, efanayo kwi-AVEN wiki
• Iiforamu ezinjengeqonga le-AVEN kunye ne-Asexuality subreddit
• Amaqela e-Facebook kunye nezinye iiforamu ezikwi-intanethi zabantu abathandanayo nabangqingili

USian Ferguson ngumbhali ozimeleyo kunye nomhleli ozinze eKapa, ​​eMzantsi Afrika. Ukubhala kwakhe kugubungela imiba enxulumene nobulungisa kwezentlalo, i-cannabis kunye nempilo. Unokufikelela kuye Twitter.