Ukuhamba Kokundinceda Njani Ukoyisa I-Anorexia

Njengentombazana eselula ekhulela ePoland, ndandingoyena mntwana “ugqibeleleyo”. Ndandinamabanga amahle esikolweni, ndathatha inxaxheba kwizinto ezininzi zasemva kwesikolo, kwaye ndandisoloko ndiziphethe kakuhle. Ewe, oko akuthethi ukuba bendingu wonwabile Intombazana eneminyaka eli-12 ubudala. Njengoko ndandisiya kwiminyaka yam yeshumi elivisayo, ndaqala ukufuna ukuba ngomnye umntu ... intombazana "egqibeleleyo" enomzimba ogqibeleleyo. Umntu owayebulawule ngokupheleleyo ubomi bakhe. Ngeli xesha ndiqalise i-anorexia nervosa.

Ndiwele kumjikelo okhohlakeleyo wokulahleka kobunzima, ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kunye nokuphinda ubuye, inyanga nenyanga. Ukuphela kweminyaka eyi-14 kunye nokuhlala esibhedlele kabini, kwathiwa "ndilahlekile," oko kuthetha ukuba oogqirha babengasazi ukuba mabenze ntoni na ngam. Kubo, ndandinenkani kakhulu kwaye ndinganyangeki.

Ndixelelwe ukuba andizukuba nawo amandla okuhamba nokubona indawo yonke imini yonke. Okanye hlala ngeenqwelomoya iiyure utye ntoni kwaye nini kwaye ndifuna nini. Kwaye nangona ndandingafuni ukukholelwa nabani na, bonke babenendawo entle.

Yilapho into icofa khona. Ngokungaqhelekanga njengokuvakalayo, ukuba abantu bandixelele mna ayikwazi yenza into eneneni yandityhalela kwicala elilungileyo. Ndiye ndaqala kancinci ukutya ukutya okuqhelekileyo. Ndazityhala ukuze ndibengcono ukuze ndihambe ndedwa.

Kodwa kwabakho ukubanjwa.

Nje ukuba ndigqithe kwinqanaba lokungatyi ndibhitya, ukutya kwabulawula ubomi bam. Ngamanye amaxesha, abantu abaphila ne-anorexia ekugqibeleni bakhula ngendlela engafanelekanga, ngokungqongqo kwindlela yokutya apho batya khona kuphela iinxalenye ezithile okanye izinto ezithile ngamaxesha athile.

Kwakungathi ukongeza kwi-anorexia, ndaba ngumntu ophila nesifo esinyanzelekileyo sokunyanzelwa (OCD). Ndigcinile ukutya okungqongqo kunye nerejimeni yokuzivocavoca kwaye ndaba sisidalwa esiqhelekileyo, kodwa ndalilibanjwa lalemikhwa kunye nezidlo ezithile. Umsebenzi olula wokutya ukutya waba sisithethe kwaye nakuphi na ukuphazamiseka okunokubangela ukuba ndixinzeleleke kakhulu kunye noxinzelelo. Ke ndingaze ndihambe njani ukuba ingcinga yokutshintsha kwemimandla iphose ishedyuli yam yokutya kunye nemood kwi-tailpin?

Ngeli xesha ebomini bam, imeko yam yandiguqula ndangumntu ophandle. Ndingula mntu ungaqhelekanga onemikhwa engaqhelekanga. Ekhaya, wonke umntu wayendazi "njengentombazana ene-anorexia." Ilizwi lihamba ngokukhawuleza kwidolophu encinci. Yayiyilebheli engenakuphepheka kwaye andinakukubaleka.

Kulapho yandibethayo: Kuthekani ukuba bendikwelinye ilizwe?

Ukuba bendikwelinye ilizwe, bendinokuba yiyo nantoni na endifuna ukuba yiyo. Ngokuhamba, bendibaleka ubunyani bam kwaye ndizifumana ngokwam. Kude kude neanorexia, kwaye kude neelebheli abanye bandiphosa.

Njengoko ndizimisele njengokuba bendiphila ne-anorexia, bendijolise ekwenzeni amaphupha am okuhamba. Kodwa ukwenza oku, andinakuxhomekeka kubudlelwane obungenampilo kunye nokutya. Ndandinomdla wokuphononongwa kwehlabathi kwaye ndifuna ukushiya uloyiko lwam lokutya ngasemva. Ndandifuna ukuba ngumntu oqhelekileyo kwakhona. Ndiye ndapakisha iibhegi zam, ndabhukisha inqwelo moya ngenqwelomoya eya e-Egypt, ndaza ndaqala uhambo lobomi.

Ukufika kwethu emhlabeni, ndaqonda ukuba indlela enditya ngayo kufuneka itshintshe ngokukhawuleza. Khange ndikwazi nje ukuthi hayi kokutya bendikunikwa ngabantu basekuhlaleni, ngekukubi krwada. Ndaye ndalingwa kanene ukuba ndibone ukuba iti yalapha ndiphakelwa kuyo yayineswekile, kodwa ngubani onokufuna ukuba ngumhambi obuza ngeswekile etiyeni phambi komntu wonke? Ewe, hayi mna. Endaweni yokucaphukisa abanye abantu, ndamkela amasiko nezithethe ezahlukileyo, ndayeka nokuyithetha le nto.

Elinye lawona maxesha abalulekileyo lafika kamva kuhambo lwam xa ndandivolontiya eZimbabwe. Ndichitha ixesha nabantu basekuhlaleni abahlala kwizindlu ezixineneyo, zodongwe ezinesabelo esisisiseko sokutya. Babenemincili kakhulu xa bendamkela yaye ngokukhawuleza bandinika isonka, ikhaphetshu nepapa, isidudu sombona walapho. Babeka iintliziyo zabo ekubeni bandenzele mna kwaye isisa sigqithise ukukhathazeka kwam malunga nokutya. Into endinokuyenza kukutya kunye nokuxabisa ngokwenyani kwaye sonwabele ixesha esilichithe kunye.

Ekuqaleni bendijamelana noloyiko olufanayo mihla le, ukusuka kwindawo enye ukuya kwenye. Yonke ihostele kunye neendawo zokulala zandinceda ukuphucula izakhono zam zentlalo kunye nokufumana ukuzithemba okutsha. Ukuba phakathi kwabahambi abaninzi behlabathi kundikhuthaze ukuba ndenze ngokukhawuleza, ndivulele abanye ngokulula, ndiphile ubomi ngokukhululekileyo, kwaye okona kubaluleke nangakumbi, kukutya nantoni na ngokungacwangciswanga kunye nabanye.

Ndifumene isazisi sam ngoncedo lwabantu abaqinisekileyo, abaxhasayo. Ndigqibile ngamagumbi okuncokola e-ana endandikhe ndawalandela ePoland ababelana ngemifanekiso yokutya kunye nemizimba ebhityileyo. Ngoku, ndandabelana ngemifanekiso yam kwiindawo kwihlabathi liphela, ndamkela ubomi bam obutsha. Ndandibhiyozela ukubuyiswa kwam kwaye ndenza iinkumbulo ezintle kwihlabathi lonke.

Ngexesha endineminyaka engama-20 ubudala, ndandisele ndikhululekile kuyo nantoni na enokufana neanorexia amanosa, kwaye ukuhambahamba sele kungumsebenzi wam osisigxina. Endaweni yokubaleka uloyiko lwam, njengoko ndenzayo ekuqaleni kohambo lwam, ndaqala ukubaleka ndaya kubo njengowesifazane ozithembileyo, osempilweni, kwaye onwabileyo.

U-Anna Lysakowska yingcali yebhlog yokuhamba eAnnaEverywhere.com. Ukhokele indlela yokuphila yohambo lokuhambahamba kule minyaka ili-10 idlulileyo kwaye akanazicwangciso zokuyeka nanini na kungekudala. Emva kokundwendwela amazwe angama-77 kumazwekazi amathandathu kwaye ahlala kwezinye zeedolophu ezinkulu zehlabathi, uAnna ukulungele oko. Xa engekho kwi-safari e-Afrika okanye esibhakabhakeni esitya isidlo sangokuhlwa kwindawo yokutyela, uAnna ubhala njenge-psoriasis kunye ne-anorexia activist, athe waphila nezifo zombini iminyaka.