Abantu bathetha izinto ezininzi ezoyikekayo kubazali abatsha. Nantsi indlela yokujongana nale ngxaki

Umxholo

• Lindela ukuva into
• Khetha iimfazwe zakho
• Fumana eyakho inkqubo yenkxaso
• Khumbula, umazi kakuhle umntwana wakho

Ukusuka kwintetho yomntu wasemzini yokugweba ngokugqithileyo kumhlobo ongumhlobo we-snide, zonke zinokuhlaba.

Ndime emgceni wokuphuma kwindawo ekungafunekiyo ukuba ndijolise kuyo kunye nosana lwam oluneeveki ezi-2 ubudala xa inenekazi elisemva kwam limqaphele. Uye wamncumela, emva koko wajonga kum, intetho yakhe iqina: “Utsha. Akasemncinci ukuba aphume aye esidlangalaleni? "

Ndiflustered, ndanyusa amagxa ndabuya ndabuya ndothula inqwelo yam egcwele amanapukeni, wosula, kunye nezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo zabantwana bendizokuthenga. Ndandilumke kakhulu ukunqanda ukudibana naye kwakhona.

Kwakusemva kwexesha, xa ndibalisa ibali kumyeni wam, apho ndacinga ngeempendulo ezininzi endinqwenela ukuba ndingamnika zona. Ndinexhala lokuba ngokusuka kuye, ndizakumenza aphumelele.

Kodwa inyani kukuba, ndandingekaqheli ukuba ngumama okwangoku. Ndandihlala ndingazithembanga ncam kolu lwazi lwam lutsha. Bendinexhala yonke imihla malunga nokuba ndizithathela izigqibo ezizizo na usana lwam.

Ukubaleka kwemisebenzi sele kugcwele ixhala kuba kuye kwafuneka ndilichithe kanye phakathi kweshedyuli yam yeeyure ezi-2. Ke xa ndigwetywa ngulo mntu ndingamaziyo, konke endinokukwenza ngala mzuzu kukubaleka.

Kwaye wayengenguye yedwa umntu onokubuza okanye andigwebe njengomzali omtsha. Nditsho ne-OB-GYN yam, kwiveki yam ye-6 emva kokubeleka, ndaziva ndikhululekile ukundixelela ukuba mandingashiyi indlu ndinxibe iimpahla ezi-baggy okanye ndingenayo i-makeup kuba indenze ndabonakala ngathi "ngumama odiniweyo" kwaye "akukho mntu ufuna ukuba phakathi Umama odiniweyo. ”

“Mhlawumbi ndingathi sidinga enye into eyolandelwa ukuze ndiqiniseke ukuba unxiba ngcono xa ubuya,” uqhule watsho.

Mhlawumbi wayefuna ukuba olu luvo lube yindlela yokudlala yokundinika imvume yokuthatha "ixesha lam," kodwa kwaqinisekisa ukhuseleko lwam malunga nokubonakala kwam emva komntwana.

Ewe kunjalo, kukude kum ukuphela komzali owakha wafumana izimvo kunye nezimvo ezingacelwanga.

Xa ndithetha nabanye abazali, kuyacaca ukuba, nangasiphi na isizathu, abantu baziva bekhululekile ngokupheleleyo ukuthetha zonke iintlobo zezinto kubazali abangenakuze bazithethe ngokwesiqhelo.

Xa omnye umama, uAlison, wayephuma emotweni yakhe nabantwana bakhe abane - ababini kubo babeziintsana behlukane ngeenyanga ezili-17 kuphela - umfazi waziva ekhululekile xa embuza, "Ngaba zonke bezicwangcisiwe?"

U-Blogger u-Karissa Whitman ubalise ukuba, kuhambo lwakhe lokuqala ngaphandle kwendlu kunye neeveki ezi-3 ubudala eyokuthatha amaqanda kwivenkile, umntu ongamaziyo wacinga ukuba kulungile ukuphawula ngenkangeleko yakhe ngokuthi, “Huh, ukuba nosuku olubi, eh ? ”

Omnye umama, uVered DeLeeuw, wandixelela ukuba, kuba usana lwakhe oludala lwalune-hemangioma (ukukhula okungathandekiyo kwemithambo yegazi edla ngokuzimela), waqala ukubeka intombi yakhe kwiminqwazi ukuyigubungela ukuze kuthintelwe ukuba nabantu abangaziwayo abaninzi uthetha krwada ngayo okanye umxelele ukuba "ayijonge."

Ngenye imini, xa wayethengela, umfazi weza emntwaneni wakhe, wathi kushushu kakhulu ukuba umntwana athwale umnqwazi ngaphakathi, aqhubeke nokukhupha umnqwazi entlokweni yakhe - kwaye wenza umsebenzi ombi egqume ukoyikeka kwakhe xa ebona ihemangioma.

Ngelishwa, asinakho ukutshintsha indlela abantu esingabaziyo abathetha ngayo nathi, kodwa zikhona izinto esinokuzenza ukuzilungiselela nokuzikhusela kwizinto ezimbi esizivayo.

Lindela ukuva into

Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba laa mfazi kwiThagethi eme kum kakhulu, nazo zonke ezi nyanga kamva, kungenxa yokuba wayengowokuqala ongaziwayo ukunika umbono wakhe ongacelwanga kubuzali bam. Njengokuba ixesha lihambile, ndikhe ndalindela amagqabantshintshi kwaye ke, ayindichaphazeli kangako.

Khetha iimfazwe zakho

Kangangokuba ndinqwenela ukuba ndiphendule kulaa mfazi kuThagethi, bekungafanelekanga. Andizukufumana nto ngokuthi ndiphinde ndibuye, kwaye ngekhe nditshintshe ingqondo yakhe. Kwaye ukwenza umxhino kunokuba kwandenza ndaziva mandundu.

Oko akutsho ukuba akukho maxesha apho impendulo ifanelekile. Ukuba umntu okwenza uzive ungalunganga malunga nawe okanye ukuba ngumzali wakho ngumntu omele ukumbona yonke imihla - njengomkhwenyana okanye ilungu losapho - mhlawumbi lelo lixesha lokuphendula okanye ukubeka imida ethile. Kodwa lo mfokazi evenkileni? Amathuba kukuba, awuyi kuphinda ubabone.

Fumana eyakho inkqubo yenkxaso

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba udlule koku wedwa. Abanye abazali bakufumanise kuluncedo ukujoyina amaqela okuba ngumzali apho banokwabelana ngamabali abo nabanye abantu abayaziyo into abahlangabezana nayo. Abanye bavele batsalele umnxeba izihlobo zabo ngalo lonke ixesha beziva bethwele okanye benzakaliswa kukugxekwa komnye umntu.

Kum, okuncedileyo kukufumanisa ukuba loluphi uluvo endikukhathaleleyo kwaye loluphi. Ke, ukuba umntu uthethe into ebindenza ndizithandabuze, bendijonga nabo ndibaziyo ndinokubathemba.

Khumbula, umazi kakuhle umntwana wakho

Ewe unokuba mtsha kuyo yonke le nto yokuba ngumzali. Kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba uwafundile amanye amanqaku okanye iincwadi malunga nokuba ngumzali, kwaye ube neencoko ezininzi nogqirha wakho, ugqirha wabantwana, kunye nabahlobo abathembekileyo kunye nosapho malunga nokukhulisa umntwana. Uyazi ngaphezu kokucinga kwakho-ke luthembe olo lwazi.

Umzekelo, abazali abaliqela babelana nam ngamabali abantu abasondela kubo ukugxeka ukuba bambalwa okanye baninzi kangakanani abantwana ababenxibe ngaphandle okanye ukufundisa ukunqongophala kwezihlangu okanye iikawusi zomntwana ngaphandle kokucinga ukuba kutheni umntwana enokunxitywa ngaloo ndlela.

Mhlawumbi idyasi yosana lwakho icimile okwethutyana xa ubakhupha ngaphandle kwemoto kuba akukhuselekanga ukuba usana lukhwele kwisihlalo semoto ngelixa lunxibe idyasi ekhukhumeleyo. Okanye mhlawumbi usana lwakho luphulukene nje nesokisi. Ndiyamazi unyana wam uthanda ukukhupha iikawusi zakhe kunye nezihlangu onke amathuba awafumanayo, kwaye siphulukana nenqwaba xa siphumile kwaye simalunga.

Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, khumbula nje - uyamazi umntwana wakho kwaye uyayazi into oyenzayo. Sukuvumela nabani na ongomnye akwenze uzive ungalunganga kuba benza isigwebo ngokukhawuleza malunga nawe kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukukhulisa umntwana wakho.

USimone M. Scully ngumama omtsha nentatheli obhala ngempilo, isayensi kunye nokuba ngumzali. Mfumane ku simonescully.com okanye kuFacebook naku Twitter.