Kukuthini ukuNcamathisela ukuthintela?

Umxholo

• Yintoni ukuthintela ukunamathela?
• Yintoni ebangela ukuthintelwa kokuthintela?
• Ingaba ijongeka kanjani?
• Ngaba ungakuthintela ukunamathela ekuthinteleni?
• Yintoni unyango?
• Yise kude

Kuyaziwa ukuba ubudlelwane obenziwa ngumntwana kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi bunefuthe elinzulu kwimpilo yabo yexesha elide.

Xa iintsana zikwazi ukufikelela kubanakekeli abashushu, abaphendulayo, kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhule ngokunamathela okuqinileyo, okunempilo kwabo banonopheli.

Kwelinye icala, xa abantwana bengenalo olo fikelelo, kunokwenzeka ukuba bakhulise ukunamathela okungenampilo kwaba banonopheli. Oku kunokuchaphazela ubudlelwane obenzileyo ngexesha lokuphila kwabo.

Umntwana oqhotyoshelweyo ngokukhuselekileyo kumgcini wabo ukhula uluhlu lwezibonelelo, ukusuka kummiselo ongcono weemvakalelo kunye namanqanaba aphezulu okuzithemba ukuya kubuchule obukhulu bokubonisa inkathalo novelwano kwabanye.

Xa umntwana encamathele ngokungakhuselekanga kumongi wabo, nangona kunjalo, banokujamelana noluhlu lwemiceli mngeni yobomi bonke.

Enye indlela umntwana anokuncanyathiselwa ngokungakhuselekanga kumzali wakhe okanye kumkhathaleleyo kungenxa yokuncamathiselwa kokuthintela.

Yintoni ukuthintela ukunamathela?

Ukuncamathiselwa okuthintelweyo kwenziwa kwiintsana nasebantwaneni xa abazali okanye abanonopheli bengafumaneki ngokwasemphefumlweni okanye bengaphenduli ixesha elininzi.

Iintsana nabantwana banesidingo sangaphakathi sokusondela kwabo babakhathaleleyo. Ukanti banokufunda ngokukhawuleza ukuyeka okanye ukucinezela imbonakalo yabo yangaphandle yeemvakalelo. Ukuba abantwana bayazi ukuba bayakukhatywa kumzali okanye umkhathaleli ukuba bayazivakalisa, bayaziguqula.

Xa iimfuno zabo zangaphakathi zonxibelelwano kunye nokusondela emzimbeni kungafezekiswanga, abantwana abanothintelo lokuncamathela bayayeka ukufuna ukusondela okanye ukuveza imvakalelo.

Yintoni ebangela ukuthintelwa kokuthintela?

Ngamanye amaxesha, abazali banokuziva bexakekile okanye bexhalabile xa bejongana neemfuno zomntwana ngokweemvakalelo, kwaye bazivala ngokwasemoyeni.

Basenokuzityeshela ngokupheleleyo iimfuno neemvakalelo zomntwana wabo okanye iimfuno zonxibelelwano. Banokuziqhela emntwaneni xa befuna uthando okanye intuthuzelo.

Aba bazali banokuba ngqwabalala okanye bangakhathali xa umntwana wabo enexesha lesidingo esikhulu, njengaxa besoyika, begula okanye besentlungwini.

Abazali abakhuthaza ukunxulumana okungathintelwayo nabantwana babo bahlala bephazamisa ekubonakaleni iimvakalelo zangaphandle, ezinje ngokulila xa ulusizi okanye uvuyo olunengxolo xa wonwabile.

Banolindelo olungeyonyani lokuzimela ngokweemvakalelo nangokwenene nakubantwana abancinci kakhulu.

Ezinye zeendlela zokuziphatha ezinokukhuthaza ukuthintelwa kokuthintelwa kwiintsana kunye nabantwana kubandakanya umzali okanye umkhathaleli:

• Rhoqo uyala ukwamkela izikhalo zomntwana wabo okanye ezinye iinkqubo zoxinzelelo okanye uloyiko
• Ukucinezela ngokubonakalayo ukubonakaliswa kwemvakalelo yomntwana wabo ngokubatshela ukuba bayeke ukulila, bakhule, okanye babambe ubunzima
• Uyacaphuka okanye ahlukane ngokwasemzimbeni nomntwana xa bebonisa uloyiko okanye uxinzelelo
• Iintloni zomntwana ezibonisa iimvakalelo
• banolindelo olungeyonyani lokuzimela ngokwasemoyeni nangokwenyani emntwaneni wabo

Ingaba ijongeka kanjani?

Ukuncamathela kokuthintela kunokukhula kwaye kuqatshelwe kwasebusaneni.

Kuvavanyo olunye oludala, abaphandi babenabazali ngokufutshane ukuba baphume kwigumbi ngelixa abantwana babo bedlala ukuvavanya iindlela zokuncamathisela.

Iintsana ezinesiqhoboshelo esikhuselekileyo zakhala xa abazali bazo bemkile, kodwa zaya kubo kwaye bakhuthazeka ngokukhawuleza xa bebuya.

Iintsana ezinokuthintela okuncamathisileyo zibonakala zizolile ngaphandle xa abazali bemkile, kodwa kuthintelwe okanye kuthintelwe ukunxibelelana nabazali babo xa bebuya.

Ngaphandle kwembonakalo yokuba abafuni mzali okanye umkhathaleli, iimvavanyo zibonisa ukuba ezi ntsana zazinengxaki efanayo ngexesha lokwahlukana njengabantwana abancanyathiselwe ngokukhuselekileyo. Abazange nje babonise.

Njengoko abantwana abanesitayile sokuncamathisela esikhulayo bekhula kwaye bekhula, bahlala bebonakala bengaphandle ngokuzimeleyo.

Batyekele ekuxhomekekeni kakhulu kubuchule bokuzihlaziya ukuze bakwazi ukuqhubeka nokucinezela iimvakalelo zabo kwaye baphephe ukufuna uncamathiselo okanye inkxaso kwabanye abangaphandle kwabo.

Abantwana kunye nabantu abadala abanesitayile sokuncamathisela ekunokuthintelwa nabo banokuzabalaza ekunxibelelaneni nabanye abazama ukunxibelelana okanye ukwenza ubudlelwane phakathi kwabo.

Banokuyonwabela inkampani yabanye kodwa basebenze ngenkuthalo ukunqanda ukusondelelana ngenxa yemvakalelo yokuba abayi - okanye akufuneki- bayabadinga abanye ebomini babo.

Abantu abadala abanothintelo lokuthintela banokuba nzima ukuba bathethe xa benesidingo semvakalelo. Basenokukhawuleza bafumane iimpazamo kwabanye.

Ngaba ungakuthintela ukunamathela ekuthinteleni?

Ukuqinisekisa ukuba wena nomntwana wakho niphuhlisa ukunamathela okukhuselekileyo, kubalulekile ukuba wazi ukuba uhlangabezana njani neemfuno zabo. Qaphela ukuba yeyiphi imiyalezo oyithumelayo malunga nokubonisa iimvakalelo zabo.

Ungaqala ngokuqinisekisa ukuba uhlangabezana nazo zonke iimfuno zabo ezisisiseko, njengendawo yokuhlala, ukutya, kunye nokusondela, kunye nobushushu nothando.

Bacule njengoko ubanyikimisa ukuba balale. Thetha ngokufudumeleyo kunye nabo njengoko utshintsha i-diaper.

Bakhethe ukuze ubathuthuzele xa belila. Musa ukubaphoxa ngenxa yoloyiko oluqhelekileyo okanye iimpazamo, njengokuchitheka okanye izitya ezaphukileyo.

Yintoni unyango?

Ukuba unenkxalabo malunga nokukwazi kwakho ukukhuthaza olu hlobo lokuncamathisela okukhuselekileyo, ugqirha unokukunceda uhlakulele iipatheni zokuba ngumzali.

Iingcali ziyaqonda ukuba uninzi lwabazali abagqithisela ukuthintelwa emntwaneni wabo bakwenza oko emva kokwenza oko nabazali babo okanye abagcini babo xa babengabantwana.

Ezi ntlobo zeendlela zokuzalwa zinokuba ngumceli mngeni wokwaphula, kodwa kunokwenzeka ngenkxaso kunye nokusebenza nzima.

Iingcali zonyango ezijolise kwimicimbi yokuncamathisela zihlala zisebenza ngomntu nomzali. Banokubanceda:

• baqonde ubuntwana babo
• baqala ukuthetha ngokweemfuno zabo zeemvakalelo
• qala ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, obuthembekileyo nabanye

Iingcali zonyango ezijolise kuncamathiselo ziya kuhlala zisebenza nomzali nomntwana kunye.

Ingcali inokunceda ukwenza isicwangciso sokuhlangabezana neemfuno zomntwana wakho ngokufudumala. Banokunika inkxaso kunye nesikhokelo kwimiceli mngeni- kunye novuyo! - eziza ngokukhulisa isimbo esitsha sobuzali.

Yise kude

Isipho sokuncamathisela okukhuselekileyo yinto entle ukuba abazali bakwazi ukunika abantwana babo.

Abazali banokubathintela abantwana ekuphuhliseni ukunamathela ekuthinteleni kwaye baxhase ukukhula kwabo kokuncamathiselwa okukhuselekileyo ngenkuthalo, ukusebenza nzima kunye nokufudumala.

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba akukho nxu lumano olulodwa oluya kubumba isitayela sokunamathisela somntwana.

Umzekelo, ukuba uhlala uhlangabezana neemfuno zomntwana wakho ngokufudumala nothando kodwa bayeke bakhale ebhedini yabo okwemizuzu embalwa ngelixa uhlala komnye umntwana, yiya kuphefumla, okanye uzikhathalele ngenye indlela, kulungile .

Umzuzwana apha okanye apho awususi kwisiseko esiqinileyo osakhayo yonke imihla.

UJulia Pelly unesidanga sokuqala kwezempilo yoluntu kwaye usebenza ngokusisigxina kwicandelo lophuhliso lolutsha. UJulia uthanda ukuhamba intaba emva komsebenzi, edada ngexesha lasehlotyeni, kwaye ethatha ixesha elide, elirhabaxa emva kwemini noonyana bakhe ngeempelaveki. UJulia uhlala eNorth Carolina nomyeni wakhe kunye namakhwenkwe amabini. Unokufumana ngakumbi umsebenzi wakhe kwiJuliaPelly.com.