I-BDSM igcine uMtshato wam osilelayo kuqhawulo mtshato

Umxholo

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Xa ucinga ngomntu oya kuba kwi-kinky sex, ndingumntu wokugqibela onokucinga. Ndingumama wabantwana ababini (namanqaku obungqina obungqina) otshatileyo iminyaka ephantse ibe yi-20. Ndivolontiya esikolweni, ndisebenza okwethutyana kwindawo ye-suit-and-tie, kwaye ndilala ebhedini nge-10 ngobusuku obuninzi. Ngokusisiseko ndikude kwi-dominatrix stereotype kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Kwaye ubusuku obuninzi yile nto ndiyenzayo nomyeni wam. Abantu bebenokothuka ukuba bebeyazi into eqhubeka endlwini yam ebusuku-nto leyo esisiqingatha solonwabo ukuyenza. (Idibeneyo: Isikhokelo saBaqalayo kwi-BDSM)

Into yokuqala oyibonayo xa uhamba kwigumbi lam lokulala kukuqina kwethu ngokwesondo, ukuxhoma kuphahla lwendlu. (Sixelela abantwana ukuba "kukujijile" kwaye ukuza kuthi ga ngoku abakayibuzi.) Kukufumana okutsha kuthi njengoko besisakha kancinci iireferensi zethu zekink kunye nemidlalo yokudlala kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Kwaye ndiya kunyaniseka: Uninzi lwazo lukhangeleka lunkwantye ekuqaleni, ngakumbi ezo zisebenzisa ukothuka kombane.

Kodwa ubomi bethu bobulili be-BDSM aboyiki nto. Ngapha koko, ndingatsho ukuba yasindisa umtshato wethu.

Umyeni wam kunye nam sasimnandi ekholejini. Sathandana kanzima kwaye sikhawuleza satshata singekagqibi. Nokuba kungenxa yokuba sihambe ngokukhawuleza kakhulu okanye sisebancinci kakhulu, kwiminyaka nje embalwa emtshatweni wethu besisoloko sisilwa kwaye sisecicini lokuqhawula umtshato. Kwaye kuyacaca ukuba ubomi bethu bokwabelana ngesondo bebungekho. Ekugqibeleni, ndathandana. Wafumanisa malunga nayo, kunjalo. Kwaye andikhathali ngomtshato wam ngokwaneleyo ngelo xesha ukuzama ukuwugcina uyimfihlo. Kodwa ndaziva ndibuhlungu kakhulu xa ndibona indlela awabuhlungu ngayo. Kwakufuneka sithabathe indawo enye: Kwakufuneka sihambe ngeendlela zethu ezahlukeneyo okanye sizame ukulungisa umtshato wethu. Sagqiba ekubeni silunike ithuba lokugqibela ubudlelwane bethu. Kwam, oko kwaqala ngokubuyisa ubomi bethu bezesondo.

Ndiye ndaqonda ukuba ndiyaluthanda uvuyo lokukhohlisa ngaphezu kokuba bendimthande umntu endiye ndaqhatha naye. Ngoko ke siqale ngokuzama ukudlala indima encinane (ndingumntu othanda izinxibo). Kwaye loo mdlalo wakhokelela ekuthetheni ngokungafihlisiyo ngezinto ezahlukeneyo esasizinqwenela, enye yazo yayingumdla womyeni wam kwi-BDSM. Ndandingazi kakhulu ngayo ngelo xesha-oku kwakunjalo ngaphambili 50 Izithunzi zeGrey yayidumile kwaye yenza ukuba kube lula ukuthetha ngayo-ke ndiyaqondakala ukuba ndinovalo. Kodwa nje ukuba siqale ukuyizama kunye, sidlala indima yokucinga kwakhe, ndakhawuleza ndayiqonda indlela emnandi, enomdla, kunye nokunika amandla ngayo.

Njengoko sifika ngakumbi kwindawo yekink sichithe ixesha elininzi siphanda ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, iithoyi kunye nemeko. Sifunde into esiyithandayo nesingayithandiyo, kwaye yandinceda kakhulu ngakumbi ukuba ndijamelane noko kundiguqula. Umzekelo, ndikwiintambo zombane kodwa hayi izabhokhwe, iintambo kodwa ndingabotshwanga, kwaye ndisazithanda iimpahla. Abantu abaninzi banenkxalabo yokuba i-BDSM iyisigqubuthelo sobundlobongela basekhaya kodwa kwimeko yethu, ukuba kukho nantoni na, yenza ukuba umyeni wam ahloniphe ngakumbi umzimba wam. Ngokuhamba kwexesha kuye kwaba yinto yethu yokuzonwabisa kwaye mandikuxelele, kuyonwabisa ngakumbi kunokubukela iintaka okanye ukubukela iTV!

Xa ifayile ye- 50 Izithunzi zeGrey iincwadi zaphuma, emva koko iimovie, imarike yaqhuma ngeembono ezintsha kunye neemveliso- zonke sonwabile ukuzivavanya.

Oko akutsho ukuba yonke into ihambe kakuhle. Uninzi lwemicelimngeni yethu ijikeleza kulungiselelo, ngakumbi abantwana bethu. Bancinci kakhulu ukuba bebeza kuhamba kuthi "badlala" kunokuba buhlungu kubo. Sinezitshixo ezilungileyo emnyango kwaye silinde bade balale, kodwa kuhlala kufuneka siphinde sihlolisise ukuba yintoni esebenzayo kunye nokuba yeyiphi enokubangela umdla. Ngokufanelekileyo, singaba "negumbi elibomvu" njengoChristian noAna. Kodwa ngelishwa, asizizityebi ngokuzimeleyo!

Elona candelo linzima kukugcina yonke into iphantsi. Ndinabahlobo abaninzi abakhalaza malunga nentlantsi elahlekileyo kubomi babo bokwabelana ngesondo kwaye ngelixa ndifuna ukuvula malunga namava ethu, ndifundile kule minyaka ukuba kufuneka sabelane ngononophelo. Siphulukene nabahlobo abalungileyo ngaphezulu kwayo, ke siyabakhetha ngoku.

Konke kufanelekile kuthi, nangona kunjalo, njengoko buncede ubudlelwane bethu bukhula ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala. Ukuze uphumelele kwi-BDSM, kuya kufuneka unxibelelane okuninzi. Kwaye ngelixa sasicinga ukuba singabanxibelelanisi abalungileyo ngaphambili, ngenene sasingenjalo. I-BDSM isibonisile ukuba singangcono njani malunga noku. Sihlala sixoxa ngezinto esizithandayo nesingazithandiyo kwaye sinekhowudi ezikhethekileyo kunye namagama esiwasebenzisayo omnye komnye kuquka negama "elikhuselekileyo". Nje ukuba igama lekhowudi lithethwe, kuphelile. Singaxoxa ukuba kutheni kamva, kodwa uhayi komnye wethu akanakuxoxisana.

Iqhubile inkqubo ukusukela ngala mhla besikhangela amagqwetha oqhawulo mtshato ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Ngelixa ubomi bethu bokwabelana ngesondo ngokuqinisekileyo ibingeyiyo yodwa into esiyitshintshileyo, i-BDSM isenze somelela kwaye sonwabe ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Kwaye ubomi bethu bobulili bunjalo zange iyadika, ayisiyonto abantu abaninzi abatshatileyo okoko sinokuthi!

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