Ezona ziQinisekiso ziLungileyo zokuzama ngoku

Umxholo

• Yintoni iSiqinisekiso?
• Izibonelelo zokuNgqinisisa
• Indlela yokukhetha iSiqinisekiso
• Uyenza njani iNkqubo yoQinisekiso loQinisekiso
• Ezona ziQinisekiso ziLungileyo zokuzama
• "Iya kuba lusuku oluhle."
• "Okokwam kuya kundifumana nje."
• Ndomelele; ndiyakwazi.
• "Unesibindi. Uqaqambileyo, kwaye umhle."
• "Ufanelwe yiyo yonke indawo emhlabeni yokuphefumla, yokwandisa, neyokwenza isivumelwano, kwaye undinike ubomi. Ndiyakuthanda."
• "Ndimtsha kwaye andiphelelwa lixesha."
• "Ubomi bam buzele ngabantu abathandayo nabonwabileyo, kwaye indawo endisebenza kuyo igcwele ulonwabo."
• "Ndiyenzile le nto ngaphambili."
• "Ndenze ngokwaneleyo."
• "Enkosi. Ndinento yonke endiyifunayo."
• "Ungumsitho okhethekileyo."
• "Lilungelo lam lokuzalwa ukonwaba."
• Uphengululo lwe

Kule mihla, usenokubona abantu abaninzi nangakumbi besabelana ngokuvuma kwabo kumajelo asekuhlaleni. Wonke umntu - osuka kwiTikTok yakho oyithandayo ulandela uLizzo noAshley Graham- konke malunga nokusebenzisa ezi mantras zinamandla, zincinci njengenxalenye yeendlela zabo zokuzinakekela. Kodwa kungakanani ukutshintsha umdlalo kunokuba ngumtya wamagama ngenene? Xa usiva ukuba kutheni na oogqirha bethanda ukuqinisekiswa, uya kujonga kufutshane olandelayo oza kudibana ne-IG, kwaye mhlawumbi ufuna ukuqala ukuzisebenzisa ebomini bakho, nawe.

Yintoni iSiqinisekiso?

Izinto zokuqala kuqala, yintoni kanye kanye isiqinisekiso? Ngokusisiseko, konke malunga nokuthetha ubume kwindalo yonke kwaye ulisebenzise elo gunya. "Ukuqinisekiswa libinzana, imantra, okanye isitetimenti esetyiweyo-ngaphakathi okanye ngaphandle," ucacisa uCarly Claney, Ph.D., ugqirha wezengqondo wase Seattle. Ngokwesiqhelo, sisiteyitimenti esihle esijolise ekukhuthazeni, ekuphakamiseni, nasekuxhobiseni umntu othethayo okanye ocinga ngaso, uyacacisa.

Iziqinisekiso zinokunceda "ukuphikisa" iingcinga ezimbi ezinokuthi zihambe entlokweni yakho, wongeza uNavya Mysore, MD, ugqirha wosapho kunye nomphathi wezonyango kwi-One Medical kwisiXeko saseNew York. "Ngokuphinda-phinda ezi ngxelo zinamaxesha aneleyo, ungoyisa intetho engalunganga yengqondo yakho, wandise ukuzithemba kwakho kunye namandla okwenza utshintsho olufanelekileyo ebomini bakho." (Idibeneyo: Zama ezi ziQinisekiso zokuLala ukuya kwiNqaku leShut-eye elibi)

Kwaye ngelixa oko kunokuvakala ngathi yi-woo-woo encinci, iziqinisekiso zixhaswa yisayensi.

Izibonelelo zokuNgqinisisa

Ukuphindaphinda naliphi na ibinzana elidala ayisiyonto. Ukuze ufumane umvuzo onokubakho, uphando lubonisa ukuba kuya kufuneka ufumane isiqinisekiso (okanye ezimbini) ezithetha nawe kunye neenjongo zakho ezizodwa okanye imibono, ngokweengcali. Ngapha koko, uphononongo luka-2016 lwafumanisa ukuba isiqinisekiso ("ndingu" iingxelo) ezinxulumene nezakhono zokujamelana nokukhuthazeka; banako "[ukuvuselela] iinxalenye zengqondo ezinxulumene nomvuzo kunye nokomelezwa okulungileyo," wabelana noClaney, owongeza ukuba iziqinisekiso zinokuba "nefuthe lexesha elifutshane (ngokulawula inkqubo ye-nervous system)" - cinga: ukuthothisa ngexesha isiqephu soxinzelelo oluphezulu - kwaye "inokuba nemiphumo yexesha elide kunye nokusebenza rhoqo."

Ezo ziphumo zexesha elide zinokunceda "ukutshintsha indlela ojonga ngayo kunye nokuziphatha ukuze ufezekise iinjongo zakho," utshilo uGqirha Mysore. "Ngendlela ethile, oku kufana nokuzivocavoca - xa usebenza rhoqo, uqala ukubona inzuzo ngomzimba wakho nengqondo, njengokunyuka kwamandla kunye nokunyamezela. Ngokufanayo, xa uqhubeka usebenzisa iziqinisekiso ezilungileyo rhoqo, uqala ukubakholelwa kwaye izenzo zakho ziya kuba ngumzekelo woku, okuya kuthi ke kube lula ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho. "

Iziqinisekiso zinokukunceda ukunyusa imo yakho yonke, leyo, inokukunceda ngoxinzelelo, ukuxhalaba, kunye nokudandatheka, wongeza uDkt. Mysore. (Inxulumene: Iindlela ezi-3 zeNgcali zokuyeka uxinzelelo ngaphambi kokuba ziphume kulawulo)

Indlela yokukhetha iSiqinisekiso

Zonke izinto ezintle zinamandla. Kodwa ukuba uyasokola ukukhetha isiqinisekiso esiziva silungile, okanye ufumane nje umbono wokuthetha nawe ungaqhelekanga, iipros zilapha ukunceda.

UGqirha Mysore ucebisa ngokuqala ngendawo enye ekugxilwe kuyo. Ndicebisa ukuba uthathe ixesha lokucinga ngendawo yobomi bakho ongathanda ukuyiphucula, utshilo. "Iya kuqala ngento encinci efana nentlanganiso yomsebenzi ezayo oxhalabileyo. Ukuqinisekiswa kwakho kunokuba kuzikhumbuza ukuba uwenza kakuhle umsebenzi wakho kwaye unentembelo kwindima yakho."

Inyathelo elilandelayo? Ukuphinda le ngxelo kuwe ngelixa ulungiselela intlanganiso, kuba ngokwenza njalo kunokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokunyusa ukuzithemba kwintlanganiso. "Ngokuhamba kwexesha, unokongeza ukuqinisekiswa okuqinisekileyo kwiindawo ezinkulu zobomi bakho kunye nemiceli mngeni emikhulu ojamelene nayo, utshilo uGqirha Mysore.

UClaney uvumelana naloo mvakalelo, wongeza ngelithi, “Ndicebisa ukuba ukhethe into elula enokuphinda inxibelelene nawe ngoku okanye into onqwenela ukuyikholelwa kuwe kungekudala. Unokucinga ngomntu omthandayo okanye ommonelayo uze ubuze, ‘bacinga ntoni. Zeziphi izinto endizimisele ukuzenza? ' Kwaye uyiguqulele kwisiqinisekiso ngawe. " (Idibeneyo: Uyisebenzisa kanjani 'iNyango yokuCinga' ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho)

Khumbula: "Akukho sidingo sokuyila kakhulu okanye uzive ngathi kufuneka ube ngowokuqala ngokumangalisayo xa usaqala," wongeza uClaney.

Ukuba awukulungelanga ukuqala ukuthetha nokubonakalisa kwakho esipilini, awuwedwa. Ngapha koko, uGqirha Mysore uthi uziva ngokufanayo. "Ndikufumanisa kunzima ukuthetha ngomlomo ngokuvakalayo ngokuvakalayo," wabelana. "Kodwa thanda ukucinga ngayo kwaye uyibhale ngaphandle." Yiyo kanye loo nto uClaney acebisa ukuba abantu bayenze ukuba nabo bakufumanisa ukuphindaphinda ukungqina kwabo ngokuvakalayo kungonwabisi.

"Ekuqaleni, njengokuqala nawuphi na umkhwa, kunokuziva kunzima," wongeza uGqirha Mysore. "Kodwa ukugcina ukuhambelana kuya kunceda ukuqinisekiswa ukuziva ubunjani emva kwexesha elithile."

Uyenza njani iNkqubo yoQinisekiso loQinisekiso

Zombini izazi ziyavuma ukuba akukho xesha liphosakeleyo lokufaka la mabinzana anamandla kusuku lwakho-ngapha koko, umzuzu onengqondo unokwenzeka kakhulu naphina, nangaliphi na ixesha. Kodwa wena yenza kufuneka ubenenjongo yokwenza ukuba ibe yinxalenye yesiqhelo semihla ngemihla. Kwaye yiyo loo nto uGqirha Mysore ekucebisa ukuba "uyicwangcise."

"Ukucinga ngayo kunye nokutsho ukuba yinto efanelekileyo ngokuqhelekileyo akwanelanga. Kufuneka kucwangciswe ngamabom. Uya kukwenza nini oku? Yivale kwikhalenda yakho okanye ugcine umkhondo wokuziphatha ukuze uzigcine uphendula, "utsho. .

Kwakhona ngumbono olungileyo? Ukuguqula inkqubo yomntu ngamnye ibe yinkqubo yeqela. "Joyina kunye nabahlobo abambalwa abazama ukufaka isiqinisekiso kubomi babo ukuze nibe nokubamba uxanduva kwasekuqaleni kwaye kungavakalelwa ngathi ngumzamo odibeneyo," utshilo uGqirha Mysore. (Eyeleleneyo: Iijenali Ezimnandi ezili-10 Oya Kufuna Ukuzibhala)

"Ukuba inkqubo yoqinisekiso inzima ukuqala ngokwakho, fumana usetyenziso lokucamngca okanye utitshala weyoga obandakanya isiqinisekiso sokwenza kwabo," wongeza uClaney. "Ukuba nomnye umntu okuvulela indawo yokuziqhelanisa nayo yindlela elungileyo yokunceda ukuziqinisekisa ngokwakho."

Ukucinga ngendlela oziva ngayo emva koko kubalulekile. "Thatha umzuzwana emva kokuqinisekiswa ukuva indawo ejikeleze kuyo," ucebisa. "Uziva ntoni ngokuthetha la magama- ungawamkela? Ngaba uyayibona injongo yakho yokukholelwa nokuba ayivakalanga ngokupheleleyo? Ngaba ungalihlonipha ixabiso lokulandela into oziva ngathi ayinakufikeleleka? Ukuziqhelanisa nokuqinisekisa kuya kuba nentsingiselo kuwe uya kuyinyanzelisa njengento exabisekileyo kunokuba ibe enye into elindelekileyo okanye uxanduva lokuzixhasa. (Idibeneyo: Uyisebenzisa kanjani iMiboniso ukuze ufezekise zonke iinjongo zakho kulo nyaka)

Ezona ziQinisekiso ziLungileyo zokuzama

Ngaba ukulungele ukuqalisa? Nayi eminye imizekelo yokuqinisekiswa okunokuthetha nawe okanye okukhuthazayo ukuba wenze elakho ibinzana elilungileyo.

"Iya kuba lusuku oluhle."

Ugqirha Mysore uyakuthanda ukuthetha le xa esebenza ekuseni. "Ndifunda ukuzama ukuba nesimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ebomini bam ngokubanzi," uyabelana.

"Okokwam kuya kundifumana nje."

Umqeqeshi wokuzithemba u-Ellie Lee wabelane ngalo mzekelo wokuvuma kwiTikTok, wongeza, "Andileqi; ndiyatsala," esikhumbuza ukuba into ekufanele ukuba yeyakho izakuzibonakalisa kuwe-oko kukuthi, ukuba uyavuma yona.

Ndomelele; ndiyakwazi.

Xa kuziwa ekukhetheni iziqinisekiso ebomini bakhe, uClaney ukhetha into elula, kwaye le ngxelo ithi "ndinguye" imkhumbuza ngawo onke amandla angaphakathi asele enawo ngaphakathi.

"Unesibindi. Uqaqambileyo, kwaye umhle."

Nokuba uyamlandela kwi-Instagram okanye ufunda nje malunga neenkqubela zakhe zamva zokuzikhathalela, amathuba okuba uyazi kakuhle ukuba uAshley Graham uyazi into okanye ezimbini malunga nokuzikhathalela nothando. Inkwenkwezi yabelane ngesiqinisekiso esingasentla sothando ngo-2017, ityhila ukuba uxhomekeke kuyo xa eziva ephantsi ngomzimba wakhe. (Idibeneyo: Ukuxhobisa iMantra Ashley Graham isebenzisa ukuziva ngathi yiBadass)

"Ufanelwe yiyo yonke indawo emhlabeni yokuphefumla, yokwandisa, neyokwenza isivumelwano, kwaye undinike ubomi. Ndiyakuthanda."

U-Lizzo ukwangumntu othanda ukusebenzisa iziqinisekiso zokuzithanda ukunceda ngcono ubudlelwane bakhe nomzimba wakhe. Umculi ophumelele amabhaso uthetha nesisu sakhe esipilini, ephulula kwaye ephuza ukwanga embindini wakhe, awayehlala ewuzonda kakhulu "wayefuna ukuwunqumla." Kunoko, uthi, "Ndikuthanda kakhulu. Ndiyabulela kakhulu ngokundigcina ndonwabile, ngokundigcina ndiphila. Enkosi. Ndiya kuqhubeka ndikuphulaphula."

"Ndimtsha kwaye andiphelelwa lixesha."

Akukho namnye ngaphandle kuka-J.Lo ngokwakhe oxhomekeke kule ngxelo inamandla ukuzikhumbuza ukuba amandla akhe aya esiba makhulu kuphela ixesha elide ekulo Mhlaba. Kwi-2018, uxelele IHarper's Bazaar, "Ndizixelela ukuba yonke imihla, amaxesha ambalwa ngosuku. Kuzwakala ngathi i-clichéd bullshit, kodwa akunjalo: Ubudala buphela engqondweni yakho. Jonga uJane Fonda." (BTW, lo mzekelo wokuqinisekisa ayikuphela kwendlela uLopez aziqhelanisa ngayo nokuzikhathalela.)

"Ubomi bam buzele ngabantu abathandayo nabonwabileyo, kwaye indawo endisebenza kuyo igcwele ulonwabo."

Ngamanye amaxesha, udinga isikhumbuzi esincinci malunga nemikhosi ekujikelezile kunye nokulunga abakuzisayo kwiintsuku zakho, njengoko kungqinwa yenye yeziqinisekiso ezithandwa nguLopez.

"Ndiyenzile le nto ngaphambili."

Enye intandokazi kaClaney's, le ingakunceda ukuthomalalisa unxunguphalo njengoko ujongana neemeko ozaziyo ukuba zikuzisela uxinzelelo, njengomsebenzi omkhulu okanye ukujongana nomntu osebenza naye okanye ilungu losapho ongadibananga nalo kakuhle. (Ufuna imizekelo yoqinisekiso eyongezelelekileyo ngenxa yexhala nje? Esi sikhokelo sikugqumile.)

"Ndenze ngokwaneleyo."

Ukucinga ngento eyenzeke kusuku oludlulileyo okanye kunyaka ophelileyo? Ukuzikhumbuza ukuba wenze konke obunako yindlela entle yokujonga ngoku nakwizinto ezizayo, utshilo uClaney.

"Enkosi. Ndinento yonke endiyifunayo."

Into yokuqala eyenziwa nguLee-connoisseur ukuzithemba xa evuka ekuseni? Uvakalisa umbulelo omkhulu ngazo zonke izinto asele enazo ebomini bakhe.

"Ungumsitho okhethekileyo."

Ingqwele yobuhle uAlana Black imalunga nokunxiba impahla oyithandayo nokuba yintoni na, nokuba uleqa kwiThagethi okanye kwivenkile yeziyobisi. "Yeka ukulinda ixesha eligqibeleleyo. Eli lixesha eligqibeleleyo. Yenze ngoku. Nxiba iimpahla zakho ze-baddie uhambe," utshilo.

"Lilungelo lam lokuzalwa ukonwaba."

Umenzi wefilimu kunye nomqeqeshi obonakalisayo uVanessa McNeal uqala kusasa ekuseni "ngamandla amakhulu," ezixelela, "Andifanele ngenxa yento endiyenzayo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba ndingubani."

Uphengululo lwe