Into ethi 'Ukuzalwa Ngale Ndlela' ngokubaliswayo ifunyenwe ingalunganga ngokuba yiQueer

Umxholo

• Imbali emfutshane ‘Yokuzalwa Ngale Ndlela’
• Impikiswano ngokuchasene 'nokuzalwa ngale ndlela'
• Ke… Ngaba abantu bazalwa beQueer?
• Sisiya phi ukusuka Apha?
• Uphengululo lwe

Phakamisa isandla ukuba ukhe wakhwaza, wangcangcazela, kwaye wakhazimla kunye namazwi emifanekiso "Ndisendleleni elungileyo, sana lwam ndizalwe ngale ndlela." Amathuba kukuba isandla sakho siphezulu. Nangona kunjalo, nokuba akunjalo, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uqhelene nento ebisoloko isikhalo sedabi esiphantse sibe sisiqingatha senkulungwane: Wazalwa ngolu hlobo.

Njengendlela elula ngayo, esi siqubulo sisasazwe ngabaphembeleli bamalungelo esitabane kwezentlalo, ezomthetho, kunye nezopolitiko ngengoma, imiqondiso kunye nentetho. Kwaye ngeendlela ezininzi, ngokuqinisekileyo - "ukuzalwa ngale ndlela" yayiyithegi ebalaseleyo yombutho wokulingana komtshato, emva kwayo yonke into.

Noko ke, eli binzana alinazo iimpazamo. "Apho ibali 'lokuzalwa ngolu hlobo' lifinyelelwa kukunqongophala kwayo," utshilo uRae McDaniel, umcebisi wekliniki onelayisensi kunye nesini kunye nonyango lwezesondo oseChicago. Kwaye ukunqongophala kwezinto ezincinci kunokuba kubambe abantu abaphambili ukuba baqhubeke nenkululeko.

Imbali emfutshane ‘Yokuzalwa Ngale Ndlela’

Ibinzana elithi 'wazalwa ngolu hlobo' langena kuqala kwisichazi-magama solwimi ngokukhululwa kwemvumi yegospile kunye nomlweli we-AIDS, ingoma ka-Carl Bean ka-1977, "I Was Born This Way." Inamagama "Ndonwabile, andinankathalo, kwaye ndilifanasini, ndizalwe ngale ndlela," le ngoma yaba ngumhobe we-LGBTQ + wexesha layo. Kamva, iphinde yaphefumlela i-Lady Gaga's 2011’Ukuzalwa ngale Ndlela, "eye yanceda ukubiza isilogeni ngumoya omtsha, ukuyivumela ukuba iqhubeke njengesikhalazo kuluntu lwasebukhweni. (PS, ukuba ufunda le kwaye awuziva ngokwaneleyo? Nasi isikhumbuzi sokuba ungu.)

Umongo webali elithi "abazalwe ngolu hlobo" kukuba abantu abanobuqhophololo bafanelwe ngamalungelo kuba ubugqwirha babo buyinto ezalwa nezalwa - ngoko ke ukwala amalungelo omntu ngenxa yobugqwirha babo bubudenge njengokuvimba amalungelo ngenxa yombala wamehlo abo.

Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba ibambe, ngokutsho kukaJesse Kahn, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., umlawuli kunye neTherapist yezesondo kwi-Gender & Sexuality Therapy Centre e-NYC, kukuba kulula ukuba abantu abangengo-queer baqonde, kwaye ke bayavelana. Ngamanye amagama, ukuba unyanisile ngokwemfuza ayinakukwazi wokutsaleleka kubantu besini esahlukileyo kobakho, ke, kulungile, ufanele amalungelo.

Ekuqaleni, abantu abaninzi abanobuqhophololo nabo bamkele ibinzana elibambekayo kuba lichasene ngqo nebali lezenkolo eliqhelekileyo elithi ubugqwirha yindlela yokuphila, utshilo uKahn. Ingcinga yokuba i-queerness lukhetho idityaniswa nombono wokuba ubugwenxa sisono - kwaye ngenxa yoko, isono umntu anokuthi asiphephe, ukuba nje babenamandla amancinci, yongeza ingcali yezesondo eqinisekisiweyo kunye nomntu onguCasey Tanner, MA, LCPC, Ingcali yenkampani yemveliso yolonwabo LELO. "Umntu owazalwa ngale ndlela ulandisa ngokuchasene nembono yokuba ubundlobongela bunalo naluphi na ulwalamano namandla, kwaye endaweni yoko (kubantu benkolo) ukuba uThixo usenze ngale ndlela," utshilo. Kuyaqondakala ukuba, inqaku elinomtsalane kubantu abakrelekrele abanamava ezesondo zabo njengenxalenye yabo - ngakumbi abantu ababekekileyo kwiindawo zonqulo.

Impikiswano ngokuchasene 'nokuzalwa ngale ndlela'

Ngelixa isilogeni sasiluncedo ngokwembali, kwezi ntsuku, abantu abaninzi be-LGBTQ+ bakholelwa ukuba ibinzana elibambekayo liyayithintela inkqubela yexesha elide.

Ukuqala, inika amalungelo abo bafumana ubuni babo okanye isini njengento esisigxina, engaguqukiyo, ngelixa bevalela abo bafumana ubuni babo okanye isini njengento eguquguqukayo, eguquguqukayo, ehlala iguquka. (Bona: Yintoni Ulwelo Lwezesondo?)

Ingxaki ngale nto? "Akukho mahluko kubunyani bomntu owayesazi ukuba baneminyaka engummangaliso kwiminyaka emine kunye nomntu ophuma kwiminyaka yabo yama-60, utshilo uMcDaniels. Kwaye iyayicima into yokuba abantu abaninzi abayazi ukuba bayathandabuza hayi kuba zikhona hayi queer… kodwa ngenxa yokuba bakhulele kwindawo ekhuselekileyo okanye echasayo ye-LGBTQ + apho ukujongwa kwezesondo okanye isini ngekwakungakhuselekanga, okanye ngenxa yokungabikho kokufikelela kwimfundo okanye kulwimi, batsho. (Ufuna ukukhunjuzwa ukuba mangaphi amagama ahlukeneyo ngokwesini nangokwesini? Jonga: I-LGBTQ + Uluhlu lweenkcazo zesini kunye neenkcazo zesini.)

Ingcinga "yokuzalwa ngale ndlela" ikwayityeshela into yokuba isini kunye nesini kunokuvela ngokuhamba kwexesha. Kweminye, le nguqulelo yenzeka kuba ulwimi lwesini sabo kunye nesini luye lwavela, utshilo uTanner. “Ulwimi olumalunga nesini kunye nokwabelana ngesondo lukhula ngokukhawuleza, lubhukuqa rhoqo emva kweminyaka emithathu, ngoko akumele kumangalise ukuba indlela esizichaza ngayo inokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza ecaleni kwale nkqubela phambili,” utshilo. Ke, "ayisiyonto ingaqhelekanga ukuba abantu bamkele ulwimi oluvakala ukuba luhambelana namava abo, kwaye kamva bafumane elinye, ixesha elihambelanayo," utshilo.

Kwabanye, ubuni babo okanye isini siguquka ngokulula kuba ubuni babo, intetho, kunye nokutsala umdla kuye kwatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ewe, uphando lubonisa ukuba ukuziqhelanisa ngokwesondo yinto eguqukayo kwaye ikhule kade ibe ngumntu omdala, ngokutsho kolunye uphononongo luka-2019 lwabantu abaphantse babe yi-12,000 epapashwe kwi Ijenali yoPhando lwezeSondo. (Funda kwakhona: Oko Kuthethwa Ukubandakanya "X" Kumagama Anje ngeWomxn, Folx, kunye neLatinx)

Esinye isizathu sokuba abanye abantu be-LGBTQ+ bachase "abazalwe ngolu hlobo" i-rhetoric kukuba igcina amalungelo asemthethweni ebotshelelwe kwisini kunye nesini somntu (kunye nesimo somtshato), kunokuba anike bonke abantu amalungelo. Ngokusisiseko, sisimo sokukhululwa esincinci kunokuthi "wonke umntu unamalungelo afanayo."

Ke… Ngaba abantu bazalwa beQueer?

Ekugqibeleni, lo ngumbuzo ongalunganga. Ngoba? Kungenxa yokuba ngelixa umbuzo othi "yintoni eyenza umntu afune?" yinto enomdla, ingxaki kukuba, lo mbuzo ubuzwa kuphela malunga negama elichazwe phantsi kwe-LGBTQ + isifinyezo kwaye ungaze malunga nesini esahlukileyo. Ngumbuzo ocinga ukuba ubuni obungafaniyo buyinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye nayiphi na enye isondo yimpazamo ebangelwa yindalo (DNA) okanye ukukhuliswa (umzali, inkcubeko engqongileyo, ukukhuliswa ngokwenkolo, njl. njl.) impazamo. Ngamanye amazwi, lo mbuzo wenza umsebenzi omdaka we-heteronormativity, eyingcinga yokuba wonke umntu (kwaye kufuneka abe) unesini esingafaniyo nesini (xa isini sakho sihambelana nesini owabelwe sona ekuzalweni kwakho).

Ukucaca: Oku akuthethi ukuba ubungqingqwa abukho ngaphakathi - kubantu abaninzi kakhulu.Endaweni yoko, injongo apha kukuphonononga ukuba kutheni ukuqhubeka nokusebenzisa "ukuzalwa ngolu hlobo" njengesikhalo sokukhwaza kugxininise kakhulu kwisizathu sokuba abantu ababhubhileyo bafanelwe ngamalungelo (kuba sizalwa ngolu hlobo!) kwaye akwanelanga ukuba bonke abantu baya kufumana nini abo amalungelo (ngokufanelekileyo, izolo).

Sisiya phi ukusuka Apha?

Nokuba ungxamile ngokwakho, okanye ujikelezwe ngabantu abakhoyo, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba ukumkanikazi kuhle kakhulu. Njengoko u-Tanner ebeka, "akukho ndlela inye yokujonga ubungqongqo, yenza ubungqongqo, wamkele isini, ukuba uphume njengommeli, okanye ubungqongqo." Kwaye ngokucebisa ukuba bonke abantu queer amava queerness yabo njengelungelo lokuzalwa, abazelwe ngale ndlela ibali liphazamisana naloo nyaniso kanye.

Ngaba oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka sicinezele ikhefu ku-Lady Gaga's bop? Hayi! Nangona kunjalo yenza kuthetha ukuba amahlakani okwenyani kufuneka atshintshe ashiye ekuthetheleleni ngoba Uluntu lwe-LGBTQ lufanelwe amalungelo, kwaye banomdla ngakumbi ekusifumaneleni loo malungelo. (Jonga: Unokuba nguMdibanisi oyiNyaniso kwaye oluncedo)

Uphengululo lwe